


The Greatest of Them All

by SleepEatRead



Category: Modern AU - Fandom, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Anal Sex, Bonding, Exploration, F/M, Hatred, Kink Exploration, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Roughness, Sexual Violence, Sweet, Violence, hidden element, large family, university student
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 112,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26690455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepEatRead/pseuds/SleepEatRead
Summary: Life is already difficult for Priscilla. She has a large family, a university to attend at international rates, a tough nursing course to pass, and bills to pay on top of a part-time job where she deals with shitty customers everyday. Now she has a bunch of tall, good-looking martial artists threatening to kill her and her family if she doesn't help them. This is not considering the fact that they are talking weird, acting weird, and claiming weird things about themselves and doing even weirder things that prove their claims. Not to mention, those ugly-ass, overgrown charcoal-humanoids that smell foul and act even worse.So now she has a bunch of  monsters trying to kill them and her by default. Mission: hide these people from her family and try to survive both them and their enemies.Also, find her kink.
Relationships: Maedhros/OFC
Comments: 82
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

****

**How I imagine the male lead ^^^ Credit:** _**Change** _ **by** **CK0T**

The train ride from Pace University (PU) to the ghetto suburbs was almost two hours. Lucky for me, those two hours were prime time for studying before all the distractions of the world fall on me. I am an international student. My family that I lived with is my 'extended' family (my aunt on my mom's side, her husband, and their two children). Their apartment was too small to accomodate me so I rented in the apartment next to them, which was thankfully at a discounted price because the pipes were so rusted, the owner couldn't be bothered to fix them so he discounted the price for me. I showered at my aunt's and uncle's place, cleaned my dishes there as well, and did my laundry in the laundromat in the complex. Discounts, eh? So now I got the apartment for a nice 250$/monthly, including heating and wifi.

I walked back home, entering my apartment (on which the locks did not work so I had to ram a stick in it whenever I was in the apartment and stuff a hard piece of plastic beneath the door whenever I went out. It wasn't ideal. It was certainly a far cry from the comfort that I had back in Brazil. I stripped of my nursing scrubs (for my clinical days at the university), taking off my underwear and slipping into a t-shirt and shorts before sneakily entering my aunt's apartment to get some water for boiling.

My aunt was probably working late again at the retirement home, and my uncle was probably buying groceries with his children so the apartment was empty. I quickly cleaned up what I could, straightening things out, putting away toys, folding their laundries and trying to be useful. We may be family, but I already felt like a burden. Uncle Rio made me feel uncomfortable by the remarks that he made about me freeloading and I always felt guilty so I helped out where I could. I finished cleaning the dishes and went back to my own apartment, starting the cleaning process for myself as well. 

After eating my hardboiled eggs and yogurt, I began finishing up a few reports and documents that I needed to fill out--

"What the fuck?" I asked myself. It was a loud crash, as though someone had crashed through a window and as I ran into the living room, sure enough, from the view of my kitchen, glass was spilled all over the floor and everything was upturned---at least five bodies alone were in my tiny kitchen--moving in complicated moves and making unnatural sounds. 

"What the fuck!" I screamed at them, my rage spiking. I was NOT going to be dealing with this shit. Someone is gonna pay for all this damage. I grabbed the nearest thing I can find-- a pan that flew at my feet in the chaos. I charged, thoughtlessly, blindly, and angrily, into the clown-show and began banging on any head that I could find--

_oop?_

_Human?_

_No?_

_What?_

I was confused. The creature that I hit suddenly paused and turned around. The stench, I don't know how I didn't notice given how strong and awful it was, was so foul I gagged and my eyes blurred with tears. But they cleared up quickly when the face came into view. It was the ugliest creature that must have ever walked this earth. Its eyes were fully yellow, with only a black slit in each iris. Its face was malformed unlike any shape I had ever seen and a whole fucking _axe_ was sticking out of its forehead.

It opened its mouth to reveal blackened teeth and I was dually mesmerized and horrified. I had never seen anything so strange and ugly and similarly terrifying at the same time. I was so shocked I never realized what was happening. I never realized that thing raising its arm and grabbing me by the throat, whipping me to the floor in a 180 spin. I grunted in shock and pain. What just happened?

I didn't have time to rationalize. The thing was already snarling and drooling above me, gripping my shirt and ripping it off, despite my violent thrashing.

"Get off of me you fucking freak!" I shrieked, clawing at the attacker. "Get off--sto--opp!"

"Help!" I shrieked, "Call 9-1-1, call 9-1-1!" No one was listening. I struggled to claw that creatures hand from my throat--black spots in my vision-- _no_.

None of this seemed real. Was this a joke?

Before anything else could happen, the creature was ripped off from me and standing above me had to be the tallest person I had ever seen. I didn't have time to analyze any facial characteristics. I tried to crawl away. The cut off from the oxygen that I had was making me sluggish. But I was aware enough to move away. In one quick move, the tall man thrust something into the creature and the creature stopped squirming and shrieking. Black liquid, thick and oil-ish, dripped onto my kitchen floor. The creature slumped into the ground. Before I knew it, another similar creature slumped to the ground by another tall man. A third similar creature hopped out of the window. Brief words in a language I didn't understand were exchanged. One of the tall men hopped after the creature and I was left to deal with the other tall man.

"What was that?" I choked.

"A stupid decision on your part," the man said curtly, in a heavy, unidentifiable accent.

"What?" I shrilled. "I didn't ask for your opinion I asked what is that thing!" I pointed at the black creature that just tried to molest me.

"That is an orc," the man said curtly, bending down and with one arm--an arm with a hook, that man was one handed--yanked the creature up by a hook through its neck and tossed the body outside like it was a sack of potatoes rather than a fully grown humanoid that was probably twice as heavy as I was, and I was _obese_. "Your shirt is torn."

It was. I just realized it now. My breasts were on display for the man to see. I quickly tucked the torn remnants of my shirt together, self-consciously. He probably saw everything, stretchmarks and all, even though I never saw him look. "Sorry," I apologized quickly. It was strange of me to apologize for flashing him. Technically, if I flashed someone I would apologize, but it just made me seem insecure to the other party. "You can't just dump bodies outside of my apartment, it looks like I murdered somebody."

"That is not a human, little woman, that is an orc," the man said sardonically, watching me struggle to my feet without using my arms because they were too busy holding my shirt together. I quickly tied the torn ends in a firm knot. Right, orc. That made anymore sense. Looking at the strange, humanoid-creature, I was perturbed to find that it was truly unlike a human. It didn't even have 10 fingers and it's feet were shaped like camel hooves. 

"Doesn't matter," I snapped, "It is still dead and outside of my apartment. You broke my windows and ruined my kitchen."

"A hazard of the job," the tall man said meanly, tucking a--was that a sword?-- in a scabbard. Where was this man from? What time does he think he lives in? Who carries around swords and slays monsters now a days. That only happened in historical fiction. And besides, the man was so tall and large, he took up nearly the entire kitchen, even bending down slightly. 

"This isn't a movie where you get to wreck everything to catch a bad guy and not pay for damages. You can't just say that," I shrieked indignantly. "I have to pay for those damages and I can't afford that!"

The man paused to stare at me, something about his mean face gave me a pause. Should I really be getting cross at this guy? He seemed like he can smite me. He even managed to take down that thing single-handedly. 

"I saved your life," the man said, unimpressed. "You should show a bit more gratitude than that."

I felt my heart drop with shame. "Sorry," I choked. I cleared my throat when I realized I sounded like a wimp. It was taking a lot of courage to deal with this giant. "Still, you ruined everything and you trespassed on my property."

"This is a public ghetto," the man smirked sardonically and I flushed with shame and anger. "Your local crackhead can take a shit on your lawn and you won't be able to say anything."

 _Ouch, ouch, ouch_. This was my cue. I burst into tears. "Why are you being so mean? You owe me compensation."

Silence, and then an aggravated sigh. "Here, take this and sell it. It should cover the cost. In your currency, it should be worth at least $8000." The man tossed me something small--it was a ring. It was huge, with a huge rock of a diamond right in the middle, studded within the gold. The overall look, despite the huge diamond, was masculine. It had designs unlike that I had ever seen. There was no way anyone on earth can make a ring so fine and so masculine. It looked like it was worth $8000. But I was certain that I didn't have $8000 worth of damages. At most, a thousand. Still, my inner scammer didn't hesitate to accept the ring. But I also have another problem.

I choked on my tears and stared at the man stupidly. "Where am I gonna find a buyer who will buy a ring for that much? Where am I gonna find a buyer who would call the cops on me for buying a ring of this much value?"

The man gave me a droll look. "Do your research. I did my duty."

"Who are you?"

"None of your concern."

"I'd like to properly thank my savior," I insisted. I don't know why I was insisting. The guy seemed ready to leave and I was going to be glad to get rid of him.

"Give me a glass of water and one of your eggs, then we will be even," the man finally said, openly evading my question. 

I grabbed one of the glasses that weren't smashed and walked away from him. "Where are you going?" he asked me.

"To fill up water, cold yes?" There were people out there who drank their water hot. I know in China and certain reserves they did that. 

"You have a faucet right here."

"I don't have water," I said bluntly. "I'll go get some."

"Don't bother, I'll just have the egg," he pointed to me untouched stove where two already boiled eggs were. He wanted a boiled egg? Not water? 

"It's fine, it will only take a minute."

I walked out of my apartment, my heart thudding from all the strange happenings today. So much happened, so little time to comprehend it. What was happening? From where did this man appear? Should I call the police?

I wearily glanced back. I should call the police. Just as I was about to reach for a phone, a large, scarred hand slammed over mind, almost crushing my fingers and the phone beneath it. I cried out in shock. "Call the police and anyone you know and you will meet the same fate as that orc."

I tried to pull my hand away in alarm. No avail, the man was incredibly strong. In one move, I was flipped and slammed against the wall, my feet barely touching the ground. I looked around in alarm to find anything I can use as a weapon. Nothing in reach.

"Whose apartment is this?"

"My family's" I whimpered. The man was glaring right down at me and up close, he had to be one of the most attractive men I had ever seen. Upon closer inspection, I realized his hair was really long and his ears were pointed. I knew this guy wasn't normal. Must have been a congenital defect that screwed with his mind as well. His face was angular, sharp, and gaunt in some parts. One scar was running down his eye and cheek, another across his perfect nose, and one running down the corner of his lips. The scars were old. His eyes were green, the only reason I knew that was because of the thin, bright ring surrounding his blown pupils. He looked like one of those creepy figures with their pupils taking over their entire eye. His face was a contortion of rage and something a little bit more sensual. 

"Why do you live separately?"

"They are my extended family, I am here to study, they can't afford to have me here so I rent next to them," I whimpered, feeling incredible pressure under my armpits where he was holding me. He was incredibly strong. It must have been a solid minute that we are like this and he hasn't trembled or wavered once. In many ways, undeniably, this man was the most dangerous person I have ever met and will ever meet in my lifetime. 

"Please let me down," I whimpered, "You are hurting me."

The man didn't budge. "Where is the ring I gave you?"

"On my thumb, " I tried to hold up my arm but the pressure of the position and the hook underneath my armpit made me cry out and jerk violently. The man dropped me just as I felt the skin under my armpit rip. "Aiii!" I yelped in pain.

The man gripped my wrist and yanked the ring away. "This is mine now. If you prove trustworthy, I will take care of your damages."

"What do you mean?" I groaned in pain, looking up at him fearfully. 

"Do not call the police, do not talk of what happened today, your family is not to know of myself and my partner, do not speak to anyone else of anything and everything."

"How are you gonna guarantee that?" the terms were simple enough. But the methods were what was questionable. I wasn't going to like the answer, I can already see that.

With a disdainful snort, the man yanked me up by my shoulder and dragged me away from my aunt's apartment, slamming the door shut and shoving me into my own apartment, slamming that door shut as well. 

"I will stay here, with you, while the commander and I finish our business here, in this world."

The fact that he spoke of New York as 'this world' rather than a more proximal noun didn't click as clearly as it should have. I was too busy comprehending that I was going to house two psychopaths.

"No," I shook my head. "Absolutely not."

"Yes, and if you don't I will let the rest of the creatures like that thing have at you. You already got a taste didn't you? They can do much worse."

"Why are you being like this?" I was crying again. I could never hold in my tears. "I have a life, I don't want you in it! I won't tell, I promise."

"You will," he called my bluff. "Your life stopped being yours the moment you decided to charge into a fight with three orcs with a _pan_."

"You can't do this! I have a job, I have school, I have a life--I have my family. You will stop me from doing all of this!"

"No I won't," the man shook his head. "You will introduce me as your close friend. That should explain everything. This is non-negotiable."

"Where are you going to stay? This apartment is too small for both you and your friend," I spat out the word friend and his face darkened. Oops.

"You can't follow me everywhere," I eyed the sword at his hip, looking up at his shadowed face, glued to the ground in my vulnerable position. "I have a hospital placement, I have university classes. All of this--you can't come there with me."

"Right, then I will have your daily schedule and I will have your travel methods and everything."

"You will attract more attention. It won't be me who will oust you, it will be yourself," I was desperately trying to get out of this nightmare. Why couldn't it stop?

"Doesn't matter."

I swallowed. Is there a choice in this matter?

*

Life with two giants in my small apartment was hard. That is not considering the fact that they live, rent-free, under the threat of a painful death. I was too poor to take action and in this part of New York, no one will believe that two white men, clearly better off than me, chose to stay with me in my crappy apartment. I was bitter with them because I never got their ames to begin with (the tall red head always snarled and growled at me) and they insisted that my bedroom door be open at night. I wasn't sure where exactly they slept. It may have been they slept on the ground but my bedroom was so small, it only fit one mattress and a nightstand, with some extra space for a small in-wall closet. Hardly anything. My apartment itself was poor. The most expensive thing I owned was a little dining room table with four chairs, one of which was broken. I had no water which was the one thing that got me in trouble in the first place. 

I think my greatest set back is having to sleep with the bedroom door open. I usually masterbuated before I went to sleep (the only thing that helped me sleep short of sleeping pills, which were dangerous if I only had as little as 4 hours of sleep every night because of schoolwork). So I was stuck in a frustrating state of self-celibacy. I briefly considered just pulling it off in the washroom but after a week of observing their behaviours, I realized that was not possible.

Mainly because they were absolutely attuned to everything. They smelled things that I never thought to smell or never could smell from my apartment. They heard conversations that my neighbors had two conversations down (the only reason I knew was because I once heard the dark haired one mention that said neighbor's workplace woes that my aunt knew about but he couldn't have known because they avoided coming into view of my neighbors and extended family. It was the only conclusion I could draw. They noticed things and saw things that even I couldn't see and my vision was perfectly fine. Besides their superior physiological and marital abilities, they knew too much without being told anything. That was scary and uncomfortable. By the end of the week, I was walking on eggshells in my own apartment. 

It was incredibly uncomfortable.

The second issue came with the commute. The tall redhead followed me everywhere. He commuted with me on the train, walked with me to school, and basically followed me around. To anyone it seemed like it was a really tall man who hung around a really short woman. I was by no means a short woman. I stood at a nice height of 5'7 ( but I was obese), but he was too tall. The man had to be, at the very least, seven feet. He was seven feet of pure muscle and a thunderous disposition. I was lumpy and soft compared to him. So we made an odd, attention-attracting duo. So I wasn't sure why he thought it was ok to follow me around. Wasn't the main idea to not attract attention? When I tried to bring up the point, he dismissed me with a vaguely threatening statement.

It didn't help that he work black, form-fitting clothes and a black fishing hat, as it it was supposed to hide his even more shocking long, red hair. It was so long that it swung around his hips in a high pony-tail. He was also ridiculously attractive. What was his definition of fitting in? I just wanted to know. He certainly stood out in my crack-head neighborhood that was riddled with street gangs and low-lifes that couldn't hope to ever attract such attention and repel it at the same time. Mainly because of his sizzling aura of pure malice and danger.

"What's your friend's name?" Suzee, a girl in my class I never spoke to before, asked me when I was done asking my professor a question. I turned around and saw that outside of the lecture hall, standing tall and straight, with his bowed legs wide apart, was the red-headed buffoon. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. My class was composed of fifty single women and three men (all of whom were married). He attracted the attention of every single one of them. it would have been flattering to be associated with him if I wasn't under the constant threat of death in his presence.

"Matt," I lied. "He is my brother in-law. He takes me to visit my sister."

"That's nice of him," Suzee said, the disappointment palpable. "That is nice of him to do that."

"Right," I said offhandedly. It really was not. "His work is really close to the college that is why he does that."

I just realized how sketchy it was that my brother in-law dropped me to and from school every time at every convenient hour that I had class. I didn't want to be seen as the woman who stole the man of my non-existent sister. At the same time, I couldn't think of anything else. I know he heard every single word I said. 

"Cute hat," Suzee remarked. I was annoyed. Did no one realize that this man was a joke? A fishing hat? Really? That made him even more conspicuous.

"My sister got it for him, he burns easily," that was an easy enough excuse. He had the skin of a porcelain doll underneath all traumatic scars.

"What does he do?" she asked me. I turned to look at 'Matt'. What does a seven-foot man with long red hair, a black fishing hat, and strange facial scars do for a living besides making my life difficult and living rent-free in my personal life?

"I think my sister mentioned that he is an electrician. His practice is somewhere in the area."

"Wow," Suzee cooed, "What a lucky girl, your sister. He is handsome."

"Thanks," I said curtly, finally stuffing the last of my papers, eager to get out of her presence. I never spoke to her before and now she was speaking to me because of a good looking psycho that follows me. "I'd better go, I'm pretty sure he has an appointment somewhere."

I walked out without waiting for her response, turning away from 'Matt' and walking towards the exist, already knowing that he was following me and looking like a stalker.

"I need to go to work," I said curtly, walking towards the bus station that going to take me to the train. "Don't act suspicious like you always do. The thugs might not be a threat to you but they are to me."

"I will protect you then," Matt said curtly and I glanced around to see if anyone heard this idiot. Who even said things like that in public, or to someone not their immediate close member? 

"You can't," I shook my head, "Because I will be inside and you will be outside. You can't do what you do here in university. The store is small and the people and screwed. You make it harder for me by hanging around me."

"Explain, little woman."

"My name is Priscilla," I snapped. "The men that come into that store are part of a gang. They harass me for sex, but I tell them no. if they see me walking with you, they will take that as an invitation to persist."

Matt was silent. 

"Is there no higher authority that can protect you?"

"No," I shook my head. I went over all the rationale multiple times. The store was just close, easy, and paid me 3 dollars above minimum wage for working nights and the hazards of being a plus-size woman in a ghetto community. It couldn't get any better. Not. But still, I was of limited options. Everyone who had a job here held on to it fiercely. My only choice was prostitution. I was not down for that. I only had till june before I graduated and moved on to my NCLEX. "The police here are corrupt and they work for the gangsters that harrass me. My manager is a stoner and I have nowhere else to work. Please be understanding."

Matt said nothing. I think that meant affirmative.

"Alright, so stay out of the area while I work," I told him getting out of the bus. "Don't follow me. Just stay back and do your thing. Your friend likes to go out and deal with some kind of business. Go with him. I finish at 12."

"Don't give me commands, little woman," Matt groused. His voice was strange. It was deep and baritone. But it also had a silvery lilt to it. Also talks as if he is a drill sergeant. Ew.

"I am giving you advice," I hissed at him. "You clearly have no idea who knows more. You walk around acting as if you are in a movie. No. People are noticing you, you are the tallest person they have ever seen off the NBA games. If you are trying to lay low, you are going about it the wrong way and attracting the attention of gangsters is not the way to do it, Matt."

He didn't correct me on the use of his name. Instead, his jaw clenched and he turned around, walking the other way. Satisfied that I got my point through, I turned and walked to work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit language, scenarios, and scenes.  
> Warning: Rape/ambiguous boundaries/non-/consent.

**Little excerpt for my OFC ^^^ Credit: _Sunflower Girl_ by Adayse.**

"Ayee mami, you have an ass that can make my dick hard," a raspy voice crooned. I rolled my eyes, placing the final potato chip bag on the rack before escaping to behind the counter. It was the same man who came every night for all these miscellaneous things that he got at a 70% discount because he had some shit on my manager. The man was short but he carried at least three guns from what I can see on his person every time he walked in. He smelled like a bacteria infestation and he strutted like a crooked peacock. 

"How may I help you sir?" I said stiffly. I had layered up on clothes for this exact reason. Because one time, in one of my newer days, I mage the mistake of wearing my shirt without anything on top. It was a relatively conservative shirt but my god everyone had something to point out to my face. Him the worst of them all. He told me explicit things that he would like to do to my breasts that made me openly gag in his face. From that day on, I work oversized jackets to work.

"A box of 'bourne," he snorted. I quickly gave him the box, glancing at his ugly ID picture as was protocol before he handed me a measly five dollars and walked out. That pack alone cost eleven dollars. Micer.

The next customer that came in was younger, and dressed like the thug that he thought he was. He was probably still wet behind the ears but whatever. He walked around like they did in those rap videos, tugging on the buckle of his belt. He smirked at me and slid me a five dollar bill with a number scribbled in with sharpie. Seriously? Vandalizing money?

"I want that box," he pointed at one of the cheapest brands of cigarettes. "I want your fatass bouncing on my cock."

"Is there anything else I can help you with today?" I ignored his lewd remark, slamming the box of cigarettes down, keeping my hand on it till he showed me his ID.

"Yea, show me your tits, I bet you pierce your nipples, eh fatty?"

What a stupid assumption.

I made note to remember the name on his ID when he presented it to me for his cigarettes, completely ignoring his suggestive look. I ignored the man's suggestive wiggle of his nasty, bushy eyebrows. When he left, I wrote a quick note with his name and put the money in a small bag, keeping it below the register.

A few uneventful but questionable customers deviated in and out of the small convenience store that I was in. When it was quiet and I had nothing to do, I finished up a few cases for study in my textbooks. 

When 12 O'Clock came, I closed up the store as I usually did. I was ready to cry. I hated working here. It was always a blow to my self-esteem. How come I only attracted the mentally certifiable? I never once dated a proper, decent guy who wasn't after me as a bet. The last time I dated a man who came close to being decent, it turns out to be a facade. It was as if the personality of a big girl revolved around their weight, no matter what. That is what I didn't understand. There were more interesting things about me than my weight. I was certain that my beauty wasn't hindered by my weight. I was a beautiful woman and it took me a while to appreciate that. But clearly that wasn't the case with respectable people. I just took a deep breath after locking up and turned around, recoiling when I faceplanted into a solid mass of muscle...Matt the Giant Buffoon.

"Wait for me outside of this area," I hissed at him, looking around to see if anyone saw us. I could see a few people up on the balconies, getting stoned. "You can't be here."

"You give yourself too much importance," he stated plainly. 

"I don't give myself any importance," I snapped at him, my temper flaring. It was as if I was speaking in an incomprehensible language. "I am trying to stay alive in this hell, Matt. Don't make this harder for me. When you leave--and you will--I will still be here. I won't have you lurking around and scaring weirdos off. So just think ahead, will you?"

I was so annoyed after this, I couldn't speak. I simply stormed back, fully annoyed. 

When I arrived back home, Matt disappeared. By the time I climbed up to my apartment, Matt was in the apartment and the window was open. Uncivilized bastard. Did he think no one would notice a giant scaling the wall of a 12-story building to get to the apartment on the 4th floor? He did this twice a day, once when I was going out and once when I was returning. So far, no police reports or complained came back. I was just waiting for the day that someone would notice the idiot. Although admittedly, he scaled it in the back of a building, in the narrow alleyway. Still sketchy. 

I glanced around the apartment, the other guy still wasn't here. i didn't see him a lot. Sometimes he didn't come to the apartment for days. Must be one of those days.

"Weirdo," I muttered underneath my breath.

"Hold your tongue, little woman."

"My name is Priscilla, you giant buffoon!" I shrieked at him, throwing my book back at him, weakly, he let it flop lazily inches away from his feet. I burst into tears, running into my room, embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed, and incredibly, terribly, helpless and weak with self-loathing.

The door didn't stay locked for too long. It never could, there was no lock. The door opened, nearly slamming against the wall and in one quick move, with that stupid hook that replaced his hand (an unfortunate amputation that repulsed me immensely) and the other good hand, he roughly grabbed me by my armpits and lifted me in the air, crying, thrashing, and shrieking at him. I was horrified, ashamed and embarrassed. This man lifted me up and I never felt like a child throwing a temper-tantrum before. But I did now. And with his glowering, merciless face, I gave myself a headache from how much I cried. And now my armpits were in pain. I may not have been heavy for him but I was heavy for myself.

"Don't ever speak to me that way," he snarled in my ear, slamming me against the wall. I cried harder, muffling my sobs at his vicious glare. "If you were my woman, impaled on my cock, with your sweat anointing my skin, then, _then_ , can you bawl and scream like a child. Until then, hold your tongue."

"Shut up!" I spat in his face, "I have stretch marks on my stomach that are longer than your cock, lower your attitude when you speak to me!"

His glare turned positively demonic and in the dim lights of my pitiful bedroom, he almost seem like the devil's reincarnate, here to reign hell on earth. In one swift move, I was thrown onto my mattress, the bedframe shattering under the force of my weight being thrown like that. I yelped in shock, and then began to struggle when he climbed over me, grasping my wrists and pulling them above my head, holding them in place with his hook. I struggled harder, bruising myself on the hard metal of his hook in the process. I tried to kick him away with my legs but he had them down in such a way that I could hardly move them, as they were held down and apart by his knees. Eventually, under the force of his hold, I stopped struggling, incredibly fatigued.

For what seemed like the longest while, we stayed in our positions. Eventually, the other good hand that he had came slowly to the hem of my work pants, slowly undoing the button. I whimpered, terrified out of my mind. Was he going to rape me? Why was he doing this? I was powerless to stop him and never once did he let his hold on me get loose. My body literally couldn't fight anymore.

I swallowed, tightly closing my eyes, feeling numb to the experience. I was raped once before, at a party that I was so stupidly eager to join. Why was I ever so desperate to fit in? I never peaked in high school, that was why. The person who had invited me was my boyfriend at the time, a guy named Andrew. We had went on a few dates at this point and he had invited me. I was stupid enough to think that my drink wasn't spiked when I drank it. I was so stupidly trusting. I woke up in the alleyway next to my house the next morning, with my underwear missing and my dress torn from the front. My little cousin had found me when he was playing hide-and-seek with the neighborhood kids. He had given me a jacket that was too small to hold to my front and had helped sneak me into the apartment. I was mortified that my cousin found me like this. When I explained the situation honestly to him, he had been understanding and to this day, he never told anyone. I was glad I was honest with him that day. From personal experience, little children hated being lied to, and sometimes they knew. Still, how must I have seemed to him? When I got a rape kit done, I had trauma in my vaginal canal but no semen samples to be taken. I couldn't afford to get professional help for the trauma in my vagina, so for weeks, peeing was a chore for me and wearing tight jeans was not even a consideration I could afford when I limped as I walked. My work days were hell because of the limp. All the crackheads and thugs in the vicinity thought I had a really good lay that hindered my gait. How wrong they were. I was never able to justify the cost of the rapekit to my family in Brazil because how could I explain this to them? They would have been so ashamed, I was so ashamed. I was frightened that they would make me drop my education. So for the next months, I was deviating around a few hundred dollars in my bank account that I was terrified of losing. 

But I always knew it was Andrew, who turned out to be the blackbird in his elitist family, the shareholders of some big insurance company. He was too powerful for me to pursue a case on my own. So now my rapist walks free, and has his business class in the floor above me every Wednesday. The thought of Andrew made bile come up my throat. But it never came. So now I was stuck with the sickening feeling of impending nausea, and the terrifying possibility of a second rape. This time by a person who was infinitely more powerful than me. The worst part of it, I was wide awake and terribly aware of it. I was going to remember this, and I was going to live with a rapist for the foreseeable future.

My pants were past my hips now, around the middle of my thighs. The panties followed them.

"I don't see any stretch marks here," Matt said, his voice surprisingly gentle. He didn't touch my skin but I can feel him looking. I was exposed down there. He gently lifted up my tops, enough past my belly button. "Or here--well, a few. Nothing longer than my cock, even unexcited. Look at me, little woman."

I kept my eyes shut. Then I felt one of his digits press directly where my little bundle of nerves were.

 _What the actual fuc~~cck._ I became dizzy with sensation.

How was this man able to find it on the first try? I hadn't even shaved and sometimes, I even had a hard time finding my clit. But he found it and the feeling of his finger on it made me gasp and open my eyes to stare at him in shock.

His face was above mine, so close I could feel his breath on me. And then his finger started moving gently-- _ooh_. "You overestimate yourself. And you underestimate yourself. Pick a script."

"I can't help it," I whimpered, letting out a loud, embarrassing moan when he applied glorious pressure, one digit slipping in right where it was supposed to. "My life i--isn't black and w-white."

He was absolutely gentle, I could feel myself becoming increasingly and embarrassingly slick. Everything felt amazing. I clenched my eyelids shut, my hips involuntarily moving to meet the movements of his fingers. That man had hands made for the Gods out there. Everything felt good and it made me forget all the negative emotions and the fear that I felt. I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head. Why was I succumbing so easily? Normally I would be repulsed to do it with someone I didn't know or like. But with Matt, everything was different. Everything felt different. 

It was as if magic had happened. Literally. I felt myself deflate from the tension and all the lovely feelings of safety and comfort engulfed me. It was as if these emotions were made for me---

"Ooo0," I moaned louder and this time, Matt let go of my wrists and shifted his knees so now I was freely writhing below him in undulating motions. My arms, as if they were their own person, moved to grip his one arm that was working me in. My pants never fell past my knees and my shirt was never raised above my ribcage. I wasn't sure what I was trying to do by holding his arm but he seemed to know because he did it perfectly. "Soo good, m-ma--"

" _Don't say that name_ ," Matt snarled from above me, his hook nudging my chin with the blunt side.

"Should I call you Captain Hook?" How was I even able to crack a joke, no matter how lame it was, at a moment like this?

" _Maitimo_ ," he insisted. "Call me by my name, little woman."

"Only if you call me by mine, " I let out a high-pitched noise, arching my back. What a strange name. Was it from some white people country where everyone was a giant? There were a few of those up North. 'Maitimo' took the opportunity to slip and arm beneath my back and lift me, positioning me so that my back was against his front and both my thighs were on either outer side of his. The broken bed frame shifted with our shift change and the last leg that was holding one side collapsed with a loud pop. I would have to deal with that later. For now, I was as helpless as a rag doll. With his hooked arm around my middle, and his good arm three fingers deep inside me, I was now a sitting mess. 

"Look at yourself in the mirror," he murmured in my ear and I drowsily looked in front of me, next to the door where I had a thrifted full length mirror. Sure enough, there we both were. The position was unlike that I have ever seen on porn. My clothes were a mess and the triangle of hair between my thighs was unkept but glistening from what little I could see beneath his fingers. I could see my belly peaking out. When I came to look at my face, my stomach dropped to my ovaries. I was flushed in all the right places, my curls looked like they were haphazardly blow-dried, but still managed to look good. My eyes were glistening with left-over tears and my cheeks were streaked with their traces. I couldn't believe I was that beautiful during a sexual act. When I looked at Maitimo, he was even more glorious than me. There was a faint blush on his otherwise porcelain skin and his normally green eyes were black, nearly taking up all of the whites in his eyes. His size, compared to mine, left me feeling a little giddy. His shoulders were nearly three times the width of mine and his arms, clad in tight black sleeves from his turtleneck nearly engulfed me. 

"Do you see what I see?"

"What do you see?" I gasped.

"A little woman," he said derisively. When I didn't respond, he continued. "You will sleep well after this."

"Nggghhh," I moaned, throwing my head back against his shoulder and finally, for the first time in weeks, coming. And boy did I come. I never knew it, but apparently I was a squirter. By the time he was finished, his hand was dripping wet, and my sweats were soiled with my...juices, I guess?

"Why did you do that?" I finally asked when I managed to catch my breath, trying to get up on shaky legs. I slowly pulled up my pants. I turned to look at him pausing when I saw the tent in his pants. I felt apprehensive. Did he want me to return the favor? I was kind of effy about that. It was selfish of me not to pay him back but I just wasn't in the mood after the crash that I had from today's shit workday and from his fingering. 

Maitimo shook his head, quickly standing up and gripping my arm for support, leading me to the washroom. "I sensed some pent up frustrations."

"Do you usually detect that stuff? Is that some kind of sixth sense?" I wouldn't be surprised. But I was embarrassed. The entire time he lived with me, did both him and his friend feel my sexual frustration. If so, someone kill me now.

"No," he said curtly, handing me my pajamas that I neatly fold aside each morning. "I could see it."

I must have looked ridiculous. "Thanks. I was terrified for a second."

Maitimo paused, turning to stare at me in the mirror, his eyes still black, and nearly engulfing his entire cornea. Now that we weren't in the heat of the moment, it was strange. 

"Why?" he asked slowly. Should I tell him that I thought he was a rapist? What was the worst that could happen? It was easier to address it now that I felt more comfortable with him. Apparently I still wasn't down from my high. Right after that thought, another spasm racked through my pelvis, shooting butterflies with muscle-weakening abilities al over my body--an after-shock orgasm. Still powerful though. My knees buckled and I quickly grabbed the counter, letting out an embarrassing moan. 

"Ooh," I whimpered. "I just had another one right now, sorry."

"Don't be," he said smoothly--was that _smugness_ that I heard? "Why?" he repeated.

"I thought you were going to rape me," I admitted. "You kind of did because you never asked me and I never agreed to it. Not to mention, we were fighting pretty badly right before it."

Maitimo was silent for a while. What does one say to that. It was true and he never opened his mouth to deny it.

"Listen, do you need me to return the favor?" I pointed at his erection that was tightening the pants around his hips. Attractive. "I never gave blowjobs or handjobs. I can't guarantee you will come--"

"I can take care of myself."

There, problem solved. 

"Just go to sleep," he continued. He took one stepped back and executed a gallant bow. "My deepest apologies for my behaviour towards you tonight, and for not asking for your consent."

I hesitated. It was fine now, I wasn't mad. It turned out that I needed it. But I didn't want to wave it off. Sex or any act of the sort was invasive if the person wasn't willing or didn't share a connection with the partner. The fingering he gave me was still invasive even though it was amazing. Waving it off might give him the impression that he would be entitled to have a repeat of this episode again, and demand for something more. It was nice when he fingered me. But the arguments and fights, the circumstances of us living together, having a third (if mostly absent) partner in the apartment, the lack of romantic relationship between us, and our virtual stranger-relationship with one another made me pause. I couldn't wave it away. I needed to set some boundaries. 

"If you want to continue this relationship, we need to get to know one another first, Maitimo. I don't have sex on the first date."

"I am not looking to pursue a relationship with you," Maitimo insisted. _Ouch. Whatever._

"Then don't do any of that fingering business," I told him bluntly. "Or any business of that sort. I am not your doll to practice on or whatever. Now that we established that let's never do that again and forget about it."

Maitimo didn't say anything. Instead, he bowed one last time and left through the window. The moment I shut my bathroom door, I collapsed on shaky knees and had the third orgasm that I have been holding in. It made me scream in pleasure. I prayed really hard that Maitimo hasn't heard it. But he probably did because my luck was shit.

But Maitimo was right. When I took a shower, put on some fresh clothes, and collapsed on the broken bed, I slept for the next nine hours uninterrupted.

It was the best sleep I had had in nearly four years.


	3. Chapter 3

"What happened to the bed?" my uncle asked in portuguese, scandalized. 

"I accidentally tripped and fell on it," I lied in portuguese, shooting a discreet glare to the window that Maitimo and his dark-haired friend (whose name I still don't know and whose voice I never properly heard) leapt out of. 

"It shouldn't do that, you stupid girl," my uncle snapped. "You broke all four legs."

"I know, I'm sorry," I said, feeling annoyed with what I knew was coming next.

"It's because you are so fat," and there it was. "I will lock your fridge to lose weight."

"Don't do that," I scowled. "I need to eat to pass."

"You also need to stop eating to keep everything around you from breaking. I will lock the fridge for the rest of the day. Then we will see if you appreciate your furniture then."

After cleaning up the broken wood and giving it to my uncle, my uncle then proceeded to lock the fridge. My uncle wasn't even blood related to me, why did he feel the need to punish a child that wasn't his--a grown woman at that? Usually when I come over, I clean up the apartment and help the kids with homework. I am probably the least parasitic person to ever live with them. I pay for my own expenses and the only thing that I ever take from them is water, which I pay half for. 

But I knew my aunt would support me on this. Even if she was skeptical.

A few hours later, my aunt walked into my apartment and tsked at the bed. "It was such a nice bed, my girl. Why did you break it like this?"

"I didn't mean to," I wanted to tell her everything, desperately. "I was so tired, I didn't look to see where I was going."

"I heard yelling from your bedroom last night," my aunt observed. I winced.

"Yea, I was in a conference call with my dumb partner for the case study. He frustrated me," I lied. It was partly true. Maitimo was being dumb and inconsiderate.

"So you got angry and broke the bed?" my aunt asked me. I was confused, she heard the argument but didn't hear the bed break twice? I was surprised. I needed to stick to my story.

"That was way before the bed broke," I shook my head. "I don't get pressed about these projects, auntie."

"Here," my auntie said, unlocking the fridge and taking away the lock. "I don't know why Fidel does this. But please don't destroy furniture. You will have to have your mattress on the ground for a while."

"Will uncle Fidel be able to use the wood?"

"He has been meaning to make a few stools for work. I am sure he will find some use for them."

"At least it was not wasted," I said, shrugging. "The wood is really bad quality though," I warned her.

"Not enough to break it like that," my aunt shook her head. It was as if it was the rape-kit story all over again. To this day, I could never say what I speak a whopping $1000 for. I could only hide it and face the criticism. But I couldn't bear the shame of my family knowing. How would they blame me? I deserved to be blamed. I went, trustingly, as naive as a lamb, into a party with a bunch of horny frats. I wore a dress with fancy underwear (that I never got back). Everything that could have went wrong of been blamed on me that day just happened. The worst of it all, I didn't have proof. 

So I was stuck being a black sheep and the only person who had any idea was my little cousin, Paulo. But he wasn't emotionally mature enough to talk with him about it. I didn't even want to burden him with my troubles, he was so young. So I had no one to talk to.

When my aunt left, I cleaned up a little and began preparing for my midterms. I was so close to the finish line it was almost ridiculous. Soon I will be an RN, with a steady income and a work visa, soon to be an American Citizen. Life will be better. I just needed to hold on a little longer.

A little while later, a knock on my door came. Delivery? I didn't order anything. A neighbor? Everyone minded their own business. Honestly it could have been anyone, my apartment building didn't have a door to lock out non-residents like they did everywhere else.

"Who is it?" I called. No reply. I came out and opened the door anyways. My biggest mistake. I made to slam the door shut quickly but Andrew's foot stopped me.

"Ow, fuck, Cilla," Andrew groaned, shoving the door open, slamming it into my face in the process. I yelped in shock, falling on my butt. This gave Andrew the perfect opportunity to enter the apartment and lock the door. 

"Get out!" I spat shoving his knees away and stumbling to my feet.

"Stop," he snapped. "I'm trying to apologize to you!"

"I accept your apology!" I shrieked, "Now get out!"

"You clearly don't," Andrew said dryly, holding up some familiar, colorful cloth, my underwear from that night. Nausea roiled in my stomach mercilessly. "Listen, I am going to return these things. And this one too."

He held out a small black square and my heart dropped when I realized what it was. A USB. No. Oh no. Nonononononono.

"What is that?" I choked, horrified, looking at Andrew with tears in my eyes. How could I have ever thought that this monster was decent? I already knew but I needed to hear it.

"I just took a little video of that night," he shrugged. "Giving you back your power and everything, all that good jizz. This is a copy though, I have the video backed up somewhere else."

"Why are you doing this?" I sobbed. Just as I had begun to get over it, he has to come like this to me I hated him. I hated what he stood for. I forgot about the trauma yes, because I was lucky enough not to remember it. But I was only ever hung up about how I couldn't condemn him for how he violated my body.

"Because I can," he shrugged, looking around disdainfully. "No one would believe you over me. It's my word against yours. You couldn't afford a lawyer even if you sleep with every single one in the country. With a body like that, you could probably sleep with them all, though, not that it will help you."

I was living my nightmare. I tried so hard to avoid him for the past six months.

"Why though?" I choked. "Why do you need to be so petty?"

"I know you got a rape kit done," he said. "I never raped you thought. You wanted this, remember? It was you and I."

"I never wanted this," I shook my head. "I never wanted anything that you gave me that night. You drugged me and ripped my vagina apart. There was never you and I, there was only you and I just happened to be there.."

Andrew shrugged uncaringly. "Oooh, you want an apology for that? How can I give it? I don't like what you are suggesting because you wanted this."

"No I didn't!" I shrieked at him, grabbing the little plastic cup and throwing it at his head. He dodged it but his faux-pleasant facade contorted into ugly rage. His face turned purple and the veins on his face began to enlarge. "You fucking psychopath! HELP!"

I began shrieking for help but a terrible kick to my stomach knocked the wind out of me and sent me sprawling against the window of my living room. It was a miracle the glass didn't break. Where was Maitimo? Why has he been gone for so long? Where is he? He said once that he would protect me. In one quick move, I was turned on my back and his knee was against my throat.

"If you tell anyone or think to show this video to anyone, I'll beat you to it. I will post this video in front of the entire university. If you watch it, you might as well be watching porn. Nothing non-consensual there. You were begging me for it in the video. You let your tits out and you spread your legs like a little whore for me. I jack off to it every single night, you know."

How could a sick person like this sleep at night, knowing that this was his mentality? I could struggled, feeling my air supply cut off under the pressure of his knee on my throat. 

"I--I--can't breathe! Please--" I choked. Andrew just laughed, shifting himself so that he was able to rip the buttons of my shirt open. The scattered everywhere.

"You are the fucking psycho. I don't know any girls that wear bras underneath their pajamas."

"Stop," I squeaked, seeing black spots in my vision. Before I knew it, a loud thud sounded and the weight of Andrew was violently lifted off of me, crashing into the floor. I lay there, helpless, gasping in precious air. I could hear loud, aggressive smack, and I could hear Andrew screaming for help. My apartment door flew open and in flew my aunt, uncle, and two other neighbours. My vision was blurry. I could see my aunt running towards me and the three other people pulling Maitimo off from Andrew. He came. Goodness he came. 

All the heroes come at the last minute.

"What happened?" my aunt shrieked. Maitimo shoved three people off him easily. My uncle stumbled into the table. By then, Andrew was unconscious and a bloody mess. Finally Maitimo unfurled to his full height, making everyone recoil from him. I didn't blame them. He looked terrifying. His face was shadowed from his height and he was wearing all black with muscles that could easily lift two tons without a struggle. The skin on his knuckles was torn and bleeding. I finally drew enough energy to sit up. "Thank you," I croaked. 

"The piece of shit was trying to molest her," Maitimo gestured to me, pushing my uncle aside as he came for me. "He was threatening to spread around a video he made of himself raping her."

"What?" my aunt stuttered. "Priscilla,is this true?"

"Yes," I nodded, tears streaming down my face as I stared up at Maitimo. Never once did his gaze stray from me. "He came into my apartment and attacked me. This man saved me."

"How did you get in?" my uncle demanded.

"I climbed through the window," Maitimo said, bending down and picking up Andrew by the collar of his shirt, easily lifting him off the floor and sitting the bloody mess on one of the chairs. "Call the police and lock him up."

One neighbor pulled out his cellphone and did just that. 

My uncle exited the room briefly and came back holding a bunch of ropes. Maitimo made quick, short, skilled work of tying Andrew up in such a way that his hands were useless and turning his head would be difficult. When Maitimo was done, he came to me, next to my aunt, knelt down, and very gently, as if I was a little cat, lifted me up in his arms.

"Oh my," My aunt said, shocked. I was shocked too. And so was everyone else in the room. Even with size as massive as Maitimo's (height and muscle), it was impossible to lift someone as heavy as me without struggling a little. But Maitimo didn't struggle. He never even trembled. Maitimo gently set me down on the mattress on the floor, taking the blanket and wrapping it around me to preserve my modesty. 

"What will happen now?" I whispered, shy of Maitimo for doing all of this for me, in front of everyone, risking exposing his hidden identity, that even I didn't know about. "You will have to stay for the witness statement."

"I don't care," Maitimo said. "Just get better, little woman."

I glanced about his shoulder and saw both my aunt and uncle standing there, their mouths open. Maitimo got off his knees and walked past them into the living room.

"Why didn't you say anything?" my aunt demanded in portuguese. "I am supposed to protect you."

"It was easier not to," I said bluntly. "Is the police here yet?"

"Soon," my uncle promised. I could hear murmuring outside. "Paulo, go grab that little USB."

"Who is that?" an alarmed voice sounded and I heard a thud. I can hear Maitimo speaking.

"He is with me," Maitimo said sharply. "I told him to come up and help me here."

"You both can climb to windows like that?"

"We do that professionally," the dark haired man's voice said dryly. "I got his phone from his car."

"It is probably fingerprint encrypted," a woman's voice said. "Here."

I shuffling sound and soon, there were other voices. 

"NYPD," a woman's voice said. 

*

So much happened in a few weeks. I got a weeks excuse from my university. There in that week, court proceedings happened. Me and three other witnesses testified against Andrew, who was stupid enough to actually leave around the USB. When I watched, alone, I was confused. He told me that night that I was begging for it. But no. I wasn't begging for anything. I wasn't willingly moving my limbs for him to access my body better. I wasn't speaking coherent sentences. My eyes weren't open for the entire video. 

I was unconscious in that awful video. My mouth was foaming the whole time, my dress was ripped open. I was making strange, incomprehensible noises, as if I was a zombie. Judging by how pale I was, I wasn't surprised. My lips were nearly purple in the video and it wasn't make up because my glittery, light pink lipstick was smeared all over my face. Make up was melted all over my face. But it explained all the bruises that I had that night. It explained why I had cuts all over my breasts. It explained why my vaginal canal was ripped up. I was raped with a broken glass bottle from some beer company. It was a miracle that no glass fragments were stuck inside. Seeing the video gave me nightmares. During that week, neither Maitimo nor the dark haired fellow came back to the apartment. I didn't know how to feel about that. It traumatized me to watch that.

My aunt and uncle seemed to change their attitudes towards me. They walked around on eggshells with me. I made them promise not to tell my parents back in Brazil until after I finished my NCLEX and got certified. My mom knew my father enough to agree with me. I needed to finish my education, or else my father would have forcibly dragged me back to Brazil, in order to protect me better. 

So I was stuck, trying to avoid making the case a headline and begging to keep my name anonymous. I was granted a court lawyer which was paid for by the state. I had to skip class quiet often to go over details and proceedings with said lawyer. The lawyer was thankfully a woman. I wasn't sure how I would have felt if it was a man. The case seemed bleak, despite all the evidence. Th insurance company that Andrew's family owned was one of the top-tier insurers. I already knew how it was going to turn out. A simple probation, probably three months if I was lucky. His only defense seemed to be that I willingly drank the cup he gave me, despite the cautions everywhere in society about how not to do that. But I never took a drink he offered. I only filled my own drink from the bar. I had expressed that clearly. No one from the party came forth that night. The video didn't show anyone's faces. But I heard the voices. I distinguished Andrew's voice clearly.

I pressed my lips together again, clicking replay on the video, horrified by what I was seeing. I couldn't stop. I couldn't comprehend it. I watched it many times, trying to figure out what on Earth I did to deserve this. I hated seeing myself like this. I hated everything that happened that night.

The screen of my laptop shut. I looked up, shocked to see Maitimo. It was the middle of the night. I hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks since the incident went down.

"You should sleep," he said curtly.

"Where is your friend?" I asked, ignoring him and making to re-open the laptop.

"Fingon is at another hideout," Maitimo said, closing the screen again and unplugging the charge from the wall. Whelp, there goes my battery.

"That is his name?" I was surprised.

"Yes," Maitimo said. "Go to sleep."

"I can't," I shook my head. "I can't go to sleep. I get nightmares."

"You have to," Maitimo insisted. "I'll stay with you."

"You aren't gonna be able to keep my nightmares away," I said dryly. "You might just make them worse, or did you forget the conditions of why you live with me?"

"I haven't forgotten," Maitimo said bluntly. "And they still stand. However, you also have my protection. I will protect you."

"You can't protect me from my dreams, Maitimo," I snapped, annoyed by him. Was he mentally ill? He spoke about these inhuman abilities and it was driving me insane. I felt as though I was living with an alien.

"Yes I can, Priscilla," Maitimo said and I jerked with shock. This was the first time in the months that we have been living together that he said my name. 

"With what?" I snorted, getting up and moving into my bedroom. "Sex?"

"No," Maitimo said shortly. "Sleep first and you will know."

Was he deaf? "I can't."

"Try," Maitimo insisted. "I'll be right next to you."

"Oh and that will help," I said sarcastically. "Don't be silly, it's not cute."

Maitimo said nothing. I closed my bedroom door and changed into my pajamas, laying on the bed and going under the covers. Now what?

As if reading my mind, Maitimo gently opened the door and came inside, turning off my lamp and sitting beside me on the edge of the bed on the floor. I shuffled aside for him to make space. I was dubious about whether or not he would fit in my tiny mattress. The mattress was humongous for me, comparatively. But for Maitimo, he made it seem like a single. 

"Thanks," he said, the moonlight reflecting on his face. I can see him smirking. "That's not necessary though."

"I don't have a chair unless you want to bring one from the kitchen," I said.

"Not necessary," he insisted. He set his palm on my forehead and gently put pressure to put my head on the pillow. "Do I have your consent?"

"Consent to what?" I was nervous now. "Sex?"

"Of the sort," he said. 

"I'm not groomed," I said apologetically. "Not tonight."

"That doesn't bother me," Maitimo said. "I'd rather have a woman, not a child."

I laughed in shock. He was being weird. I found that I didn't mind having sex with him, even though I had insisted that I put boundaries between us. But still, I needed to enforce those boundaries, no matter how sweetly he asked me for it and no matter how much I enjoyed doing it.

"I don't want to," I finally said after a while. "I don't want to do it with someone who doesn't like me, and vice-versa. I need to be in a relationship to be able to do this."

"Understandable," Maitimo said after a while of thinking. "Sleep then, I'll do the rest. No touching."

"I can't sleep," I repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time today. "I don't want to sleep."

"Do it anyways," Maitimo insisted. "I swear to you, upon my honor, that I will protect you from your nightmares and that I will not touch you in any way unless you say otherwise."

"I can't take you for your word," I scoffed. "I don't know what that honor means to you or to myself."

"We do not take honor slightly," Maitimo's eyes flashed in the dark. 

"I don't even know you," I said, sitting up and leaning back against the wall to face him properly. He wasn't wearing shoes. "I can't trust you. We haven't had the best start."

"I know," Maitimo said. "I wish that I could explain. But it is not my place."

"Then whose place is it?" At this point, we were just running in circles.

"Soon," he assured me. 

Did it hurt to trust me? So far, even though the terms and conditions of our acquaintance bordered on menacing, he hasn't done anything to me that was inherently wrong. He protected me on my commute and he came back for me to save me from Andrew, even though it was at the last minute before I actually passed out. He did buy groceries and he fixed all the furniture he damaged in the beginning. He even saved me from that orc-thing. Yea he was mean and yea he was intimidating, but he hasn't actually done anything to me that was wrong. After a long moment of contemplating, I finally took a deep breath.

I slowly lifted my shirt above my head. "I didn't shave my armpits," I said apologetically. I felt embarrassed that he saw me like this. I was fat and lumpy. My body shape was nice enough, but I had rolls everywhere. I wasn't ideal and I wasn't sure what was ideal for this man. I studied his face for a reaction. When I found none, I kept going. Never once did his eyes stray below. Before I went to take off my bra, his hand came forward and stopped me.

"I need to hear you give your consent, Priscilla," Maitimo said softly. I took a deep breath, feeling treachery against myself as I spoke the next words.

"I give my consent."

"Do you understand that you can ask me to stop anytime?" Maitimo asked.

I blinked at him, not expecting that. I slowly nodded. Maitimo shook his head. "Tell me you understand that if you need me to stop at any point, that I will."

"I understand that," I finally said. He let go of my hand and I took that as permission to unhook my bra from the front. Maitimo took my bra and shirt from me, neatly folding them aside. I got on my knees and began to take my bottoms off, neatly folding those aside as well. Maitimo, for a long while, didn't move, or look down. And then he took off his shirt as well--

Holy sweet potatoes.

Oh my goodness.

Ooouff.

What the hell?

This man was sculpted for the Gods. He had the body of a person who ate chicken and broccoli for all three meals and then worked out in the gym for nine hours of the day. His shoulders were incredibly broad now that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Oh my goodness, this guy was bigger than he appeared. 

"Where do you even go to workout?" I breathed, tucking my knees self-consciously against my chest. "Ahh, don't look at me! I'm hideous!" I laughed at the absurdity of my own voice. I was self conscious that I didn't shave. I was too busy trying to survive to shave my limbs or do any self-care except for around my face. Normally I was pretty fastidious with all that.

Maitimo was not amused. He made quick work of his pants and sat down again in front of me--where those scars? All over his body? His member was not aroused as of yet, but oh my goodness, the size of it alone could have impaled straight to my cervix. "Maitimo, I'm not sure about this--it's too big."

"I'll be gentle and careful," he promised. "I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"Is this supposed to help me sleep?"

"You don't sleep well unless you masturbate," he said bluntly. "You haven't done that for a few days since everything happened. You haven't slept properly."

"How do you know that?" I was mortified and embarrassed that he figured that out about me.

"I observed you. And there is an exhibition from the previous time if you remember."

"How could I forget?" I said pitifully. "I don't know why I am like that."

"There is nothing wrong with being like that," Maitimo said bluntly. 

"If this is a chore for you, you don't have to do it either," I told him, eyeing his flaccid member.

"I wouldn't offer if it was a chore," he said and I could see no guile on his face. I pointed at his chest, where one scar ran across both pecs, the scar tissue was quiet formed, telling me that the scar itself was deep. "Where did you get all these scars?"

"I am a warlord where I am from," Maitimo said honestly leaning back against the wall to look at me as he spoke to me.

"Is that on Earth?" I meant this as a joke because I couldn't, off the top of my head, think of a white country with conflicts enough to warrant such scarring, or the label of 'Warlord' instead of general. 

"No," Maitimo said and I paused. Was he being serious. I saw his stoney expression--he was not joking. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it is not on this earth. I come from another dimension."

"How?"

"Fingon and I have been attempting to discover that for a few years now."

"Are you both nutcases?" He was going to deny it but I wasn't going to believe him. I was just going to take his words with a grain of salt. I believe that they were different than myself or anyone else. But I just don't believe that he is from another dimension.

"No," Maitimo shook his head, amusement dancing in his eyes. "I have no proof to offer you."

"I'll just take your words at face value then," I finally said, letting my legs spread out instead staying folded against my chest. 

"Are you on birth control?" Maitimo asked me and I shook my head. 

"I can't afford it," I said, watching his expression carefully. No repulsion, nothing. "I don't have condoms either, or lube. But I'm clean."

"So am I," Maitimo said. "I only have one condom. That won't be enough though."

I laughed. "Multiple times? What a phenomenon."

Maitimo chuckled this time and the sound made me pause. Why was this sound--and that smile--incredibly attractive. I should make more jokes to see those smiles.

"How do you only have one condom on you?" I was a little intrigued. "That is so random."

"It was a free sample. Though I doubt the size would fit me," Maitimo said bluntly, unamused. The funniest part is that he really wasn't trying to be arrogant. But it was too amusing. I laughed, "Show it!"

Maitimo reached out into his pocket and pulled out a small, golden packet, on the wrapping, the letter 'S' showed on it in fine print in the corner. I burst into laughter. If his little guy was proportional to this man's size, a small wouldn't even get on this guy's forefinger.

"That could fit your finger," I offered him the condom. Maitimo gave me a dry look before rolling his eyes. 

"I wasn't planning on putting it inside of you anyways," Maitimo admitted. "I was just planning to finger you to sleep." 

"Then why did you ask about birth control?" I was scandalized by this man's...forwardness. It was almost offending how open he was in discussing this topic. But I suppose it was important to know. Still, to my virgin ears, it was a little scandalizing. But the conversation made me forget the last three shitty weeks that I had.

"To make you feel safe in the case that you wished to take it further than what I planned," Maitimo admitted. I thought it was sweet of him to put it like that.

"Maybe if you are sterile, I would have considered it," I admitted after a moment. 

"None of my previous lovemaking has ever resulted in a pregnancy," Maitimo said after a while of contemplation. "Nor have I contracted anything weird."

"Did you use condoms? Were they on birth control?"I was dubious. it was almost a shame that he was sterile, if that was the matter. No one that beautiful deserved to not pass on these genes.

Maitimo smirked. "No, I fucked them all raw."

I raised an eyebrow at him. I didn't expect to talk about his previous lovers, even though I saw that he was attractive enough to have had at least one sexual partner. "So I'm just another tally number?"

"No," Maitimo said. "You are my lover, officially. They were all camp followers."

I raised my eyebrows. What was that? I asked him.

"Prostitutes," Maitimo said and I nodded. I guess they were not lovers then. But lovers was an ambiguous term. It could represent a forbidden affair, friends-with-benefits, a casual sex partner, an actual spouse or partner, or anything really. 

"Alright then," I finally said. "I'll agree to become your lover."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," the double pun made me blush.

"What do we do now?"

"Are you comfortable with foreplay?" he asked me. I nodded. It was a good start. It wasn't anything too heavy. 

"Are you comfortable with penetration?" again, I nodded. I didn't see why not and the talk of it, the anticipation of it, and the perfect specimen in front of me made me eager to continue.

"What about you?" I asked him hesitantly. "What are you comfortable with?"

"I am comfortable with whatever you are," he told me. 

"Give me a moment just to at least make myself a little presentable," why was I begging him? A part of me didn't want him to change his mind. A huge part of me was nervous that he would get disgusted by me as well. I was a little disgusted by myself.

"Don't shave," he warned me, eyeing the area between my thighs. "American women like to shave there...it disgusts me. My preference is not for children."

"What is it for then?" I asked him, kind of nervous about the answer. Was he into BDSM? Was he into a rape kink? What?

He looked at me, dead in the eyes as I slowly got up, "Women in general. I have had a few male lovers, before."

I burst into laughter. Really now, this man. Why am I not even surprised? should have figured that he swung both ways. No way this man didn't have at least ten lovers in his lifetime. 

*

At my aunt's apartment, I took a shower shaved my legs, plucked any extra facial hairs, and washed my teeth and tongue twice. I didn't have time to shave my armpits. I combed my hair and put it in a braid. I wasn't sure if I was going to sweat, but if that was the case, I didn't want to sweat and have my hair sticking all over my back. 

"Hey, auntie," I called, looking at the stick of aloe that she brought, laying on the kitchen counter. "Can I have a bit of that aloe vera?"

"Go ahead sweetie," she called back. "Take the rest, I don't know what to do with the rest before it spoils."

I thanked her kindly, leaving a pouch of chocolates on the counter. I read that aloe vera can be used as a lubricant. I just needed to put it through the blender. I quickly cut the roe out of its skin and put it through the blender, taking out a little bowl and putting the gel in after I was finished, throwing out the rest of the skin. I carried out my clothes and bathing supplies along with the gel back to my apartment, walking in and finding that Maitimo was waiting, seated at the dining room table, a burner phone in his hand, speaking in that strange language of his. I glanced back to see if anyone was looking. No one. I entered my apartment, closing the door. I could feel Maitimo' gazze on me. I had changed out of my work clothes and I put my clean pair of pajamas on. I was ready now but I don't know if the time it took me to get ready put a damper on our sexual tension. I was still ready to have sex. I wanted to have sex. I felt silly for over thinking but at the same time, I felt embarrassed that I made him wait so long. How easy was it in the movies that they had sex right away without thinking of self-grooming? 

I found an empty squeeze bottle that I had from my final foundation bottle that i had last year. I had previously washed it out because I had wanted to put moisturizer inside and carry it around to make it look nice, but I never got around to putting lotion in it. But it was clean. Plenty clean to put the aloe vera blended jelly in it. I wasn't aware that Maitimo had finished his call when I was done capping the little bottle.

"What is that?" Maitimo's voice said in front of me and I jumped. Across the counter from me was Maitimo, in the dim living room lights, looking own at me. He was still shirtless and I could see the scars across his torso. 

"It's aloe vera," I told him, watching his face for recognition. None. "It's a plant. It's really healthy. People use it for their skin and hair, and for burns as well. They can also use it as a lube."

Maitimo stared at me. "Lube?"

I flushed. "I don't feel comfortable doing it like that. I am scared it might hurt."

"Fair enough," Maitimo said, taking the bottle from me and sniffing it, "Smells like plants."

I giggled nervously, falling silent when his intense gaze fell on me. I felt small under his gaze. I don't know if he knows it, but he was too hawkish with that gaze of his. it was silly of me to notice but that man didn't blink often. I flushed, gently taking the bottle from him and walking to the bedroom, cleaning up, stacking books away and straightening out the pillows. I got up and brought on a couple of towels. I didn't want it to get messy, especially since he wasn't going to be wearing a condom, and aloe vera gel, in its nature, was viscous and difficult to clean.

I could feel Maitimo step into the room behind me, watching me as I nervously flitted around. I was nervous and embarrassed. I felt ashamed that I chose to forego on shaving my armpits for the sake of saving time. When I finally plucked up the courage to turn to Maitimo, I took a deep breath.

"Take the lead," I told him. "Please."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit sex scene.

At first, Maitimo settled for just kissing me. It was a sweet kiss. No tongue or biting of lips or open mouths. I liked it like that. He let me set the pace. When I went up to my knees to wrap my arms around him for better leverage, he shifted his body to accomodate me better. And then I began nipping at his lips. Kissing him was surprisingly addicting. He had large lips, and they were incredibly soft. I was especially fascinated by the scar on the peak of his cupid's bow. The texture was different. I felt myself melt into his body when he licked my bottom lip and nipped it. I pulled back, breathing heavily. 

"Is that ok with you?" I asked him hesitantly. His good hand came up to hold me by the small of my back to him. His chest was incredibly warm against my breasts, which had been exposed to cool air for a long time. The man was like a sauna against me. 

"Yes," he said breathily. 

"I like kissing you," I said shyly. "It's nice."

"Good to know," Maitimo said, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. He wasn't glaring, or scowling, or frowning, or doing anything of the sorts. He was gentle, and his gaze was heated with lust and affection. There was nothing sneaky or cruel about this Maitimo. I moaned softly when I felt the cool metal of his hook press against the hot skin of my back.

"Sorry," Maitimo said, pulling it away. "I'll take it off."

"Alright," I said slowly, watching as he 'unhooked' his hook and set it far aside. His stump was smooth, save for one scar running horizontally across it. "What happened?"

"A story for another time," Maitimo insisted. "It is not pleasant." He pressed a kiss to my jaw and proceeded to go over my neck. I pulled back to allow him more access. Oooh, that felt good. He kissed me in every place where it felt good. When it came to my breasts, he gave my nipples a few hard nips that made me moan loudly. That was amazing. I didn't know that I was sensitive there. But it felt good. 

"Tell me," he commanded me. "Tell me what feels good and what doesn't, this is all about you."

I nearly cried. He was so good to me. It was almost unrealistic. I didn't want this moment to end. How could it when he made me feel like I was the most important person in the world? This Maitimo was inherently different than the Maitimo that I dealt with often. 

"That feels good," I whimpered, gripping the hair at the back of his neck and his shoulder. I could feel his erection pressing on the inside of my thigh, brushing against my lower lips. The subtlety of his touch was amazing. 

"You do have lovely breasts," he finally told me and I blushed with pleasure. Now my breasts were my most favourite physical feature. "Everything you like is a pleasure to me."

He then called me a name. I wasn't sure what it meant or how he pronounced it. I didn't think too much into it. It didn't sound like a curse word so I was content for it to stay like that.

"I want to kiss you too," I said, whining when he gave one hard nip below my nipple. " _Ngh_ \--I want to make you feel good too."

"Whatever my lady wants," Maitimo said. Slowly leaning back on his elbows and I looked at his body. I could lick every single one of those muscles shamelessly. But I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Instead I settled for pressing small kisses across his torso and scars. His scars were a strange feeling against the sensitivity of my lips. Exploring his body activated all my senses, that's how glorious this man was.

"Priscilla," he warned me and I looked up, coming close to the hair on his groin. "If you don't want to, you don't have to."

I was confused, is that what he stopped me for? "But I want to."

His eyes flared and he threw his head back with a groan. "Devious minx."

I smirked, pressing my mouth to his tip. I have seen women on porn do it, and I have read romance novels on women doing it. It couldn't be too hard?

It was hard. I had to open my mouth too wide and it was a hassle to keep my teeth from scraping his skin. Besides, he was way too big, I wasn't even to the hilt and the man was more than halfway down my throat. Either way, he tasted good, his skin felt good. Why was he so perfect? I felt his hand grip my hair and lift my head. My eyes had watered and my own saliva was smeared across my mouth. I could see a line of saliva from my mouth to the tip. Why was this so attractive? When I looked at Maitimo and saw where his gaze was, it was clear he was in agreement as well. 

"It's too hard for you, Priscilla," he told me gently. I pouted, hard. 

"But you didn't come yet," I insisted, making to move on him again but his hand gripped my hair a little harder, gently stopping me and leaning close enough to bump his nose against mine.

"I don't want to come yet," Maitimo insisted. "Though I will soon if you keep talking like that."

"Please," I insisted, regardless. Even though giving him a blowjob was hard, it was nice. Surprisingly. I never thought I would enjoy it, but I did. I found that I especially liked it because he was so likeable in the moment.

"No," he shook his head. "This is about you."

"But--" I began, and he shushed me.

"I didn't propose having sex with you for my own pleasure," Maitimo said. "This is all about you."

"To help me sleep?" I asked him dryly. Maitimo smirked. 

"My motives are not so pure, though partly so."

"Is it because I was a good lay, last time?" It really couldn't have been the reason. Last time he didn't get anything out of me but he did all the work for me. 

"No," Maitimo frowned, nudging me forward by the back of my neck. I crawled to meet him halfway there and soon, we were kissing once more. "Because you were glorious when you finished on my hand. I wanted to see it happen again."

I stared at him, slightly confused. Was he talking about when I squirted? I should have been glad that he didn't think it was pee. He thought that was glorious? I read somewhere that orgasmic faces were not pretty. It just happened and it wasn't as lily-white as the movies made it out to be. "What about the first time?"

"I wanted to see if that was what put you in such a frightful mood," Maitimo admitted, the scarred corner of his attractive mouth pulling up in a smirk. 

I giggled incredulously, sitting up on my knees. "You thought I was scary then?" 

Maitimo watched me carefully, as though debating what to say. "A little," he finally admitted. "I wanted to see if that was what it took to calm you down."

"What made you think of that of all things?" I was curious. Also a little pleasantly surprised. Maybe he did find me a little intimidating. A mere fraction of how I find him sometimes. Definitely not right now. Not when we were doing this.

"I just really thought you could use it," Maitimo smirked, pulling me back for a kiss. "Now stop asking questions."

I giggled, leaning heavily against his chest. The hand he had on one side of my face slowly moved to cup one heavy breast, his calloused thumb stimulating my nipple, which stood, eager for his attentions. I felt an embarrassing dribble of wetness run down my thigh. "Maitimo, whatever it is that you are about to do to me, do it now. Or I will soak the sheets." Maitimo pulled back, looking to the triangle between my thighs. I was certain he could see how wet it was.

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" he asked me, raising his eyebrows, his hand coming forward and groping the inside of my thigh, one thumb, none-too-discreetly, slipping between my lower lips. I nearly saw the stars.

"Don't tease," I whine pitifully. That felt incredibly good. I don't know how I must have seemed to him. I mean, having sex with this man didn't change the fact that I was fat. The inside of my thighs was darker than the rest of my body, and my belly was visually in the way. How did this man find me attractive enough to get a hard-on? 

"I have the whole night," Maitimo dismissed me. That was laughable. There was no way anyone could go on the whole night. 

"I thought I was supposed to sleep?" I asked him, watching his hand moving around me and feeling it cup my butt. His hand was large enough to cover my entire cheek, which was amazing in itself, because I was not a flat woman.

"Plans change when I know you don't have anything tomorrow until the evening," Maitimo said. "You will have time to sleep then."

*

I woke up the next day, my body feeling sore. I looked at the time next to me and saw that I had two hours before it was time for me to go to work. I frowned, I didn't want to go to that shit hole. I wanted to stay here and revel in the soreness that I felt all over my body. Yesterday was amazing. I didn't think he could do it but Maitimo really did go all night long. Sometimes I went to sleep and then woke up again to him doing wicked things to me. I thought I would be annoyed that he was making me have sex instead of letting me sleep, but no. Goodness no, everything was amazing and he was good at it. I never imagined that I would say this but every single time he initiated something or I initiated something, I came. I mean like I came heavily, actually squirting from how good it felt. And he did too. But sometimes I think he held back a little until after a few times before coming. That felt good too. Having this man inside me, filling me, and stretching was a pleasure in and of itself. I never usually did come more than once with any sexual partner, even if we did it multiple times. Or not at all, to be honest. Sex, before Maitimo, was such a sordid affair to me that I never really bothered to rehash any other relationships. I only had sex twice before Maitimo, not counting my rape.

I slowly struggled up groggily, pleasantly surprised to see that the room was clean. Lat night was so hectic, I was sure that we ruined a few things in the process. But I didn't regret it. And Maitimo was an aftercare type of guy. I just remember nearly gasping for breath, the last time he took me. I was absolutely destroyed. Towards the end I had begged him to blow a hole in my womb. He had tucked an arm underneath me and lifted me up to his lap.

"Gently," I begged. I was raw beneath there. We did it way too many times to count. Weren't men supposed to like...recover after everytime? Was this guy a machine? "Ma-Maitimo, just a-a little slower, p-please." He was pounding my cervix like it was no one's business. I loved it but the force of his thrusts made me uncomfortable. The unfamiliarity of it made me nervous.

Maitimo pulled back from me, his hips were unfaltering from the rhythm. The only reason I didn't fall backwards was because he was holding the back of my neck. "Are you in pain, Priscilla?"

I thought about it. I suppose it wasn't painful. But it was uncomfortable, I was scared from the pace. I wasn't sure why. All the other times before he was slower. I was horrified to feel tears build up in my eyes. "I--no, I'm just scared."

Immediately, the pace slowed and lengthened. "Sorry," I croaked weakly, moaning when he hit a different spot, coming blindly. I am pretty sure he said something but I didn't hear it. It took me a minute to realize that I actually came. But he was still as stiff as a pole inside me and I needed him to finish inside me so that we can both go back to sleep for a while. Otherwise if I fell asleep like that, he might wake me up and my work weighed heavy on my mind. I balanced my weight on my knees on either side of him and pushed him down. He was going way too fast, still. I then set the pace, rising and falling slowly, looking at up at the ceiling for the strength to not go crazy over how good he felt inside me now. I swear, the smallest change in position or anything made him hit a different spot every time. I felt his hand come up and cup one swaying breast, gently rolling a nipple between his fingers. I had already come, and I wasn't sure that I could physically come another time without collapsing from exhaustion.

When he finished, he gently set me down with some kind of towel beneath my hips and pulled the covers over me. His body was slick with sweat. He slowly got up and walked out of my room, with a soft "Stay here." 

I wasn't going anywhere, because soon, I was fast asleep. I woke up to a warm, wet cloth against my thighs, one hand gently cleaning me up my thighs, gently dipping into me and cleaning me there. At first it was non-sexual and sweet. And then it turned into sexual and sweet, and certainly helped ease the aftershocks that I kept having. And then I came again all over his fingers. "Thank you," I whimpered against his mouth when he gently shushed me. "You are so sweet now. Will you stay like this?"

"Mmmhmmm..." Maitimo murmured, pushing me back onto the mattress and sliding in next to me, pulling the covers over both of us. "Tomorrow go wash up next door."

"Alright," I agreed, staying still in my place against the wall. I wasn't sure if it was ok to cuddle afterwards, even though I wanted to. The boundaries of our relationship were unclear, even though I was adamant that I wouldn't have sex without a relationship and ended up caving in because memories of my first orgasm with him kept attacking my mind. And he wasn't helping matters even though he insisted that we stop anytime I wanted to. He made it clear before that he wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with me but some of his actions were contradictory to his statement. I determined that I wouldn't have another sexual encounter with him until I made our relationship clear.

"Are you warm?" Maitimo asked, watching me with his head turned. When I thought about it, now that my body was cooling off the sweat on it, I was a little chilly. 

"Just a little cold," I admitted and Maitimo murmured a soft; "C'mere."

No need to be told twice.

The next morning when I woke up and got ready for my shower at my aunt's I was a little shocked and horrified at the mural of hickeys all over my body. I don't remember Maitimo giving this much attention to me. The hickeys on my breasts were purple and there was a ring of teeth marks around each nipple, both swollen and bruising. My stomach was the most shocking because there was a lot of hickeys there too. I didn't even want to get into the giant bruise that was my neck. When I stepped forward towards the mirror, I was shocked to find that my thighs, especially the insides, were the biggest mural of hickeys ever. I turned on my side and was even more horrified to see that my butt was the recipient of even more of those---is my back...yes. Yes it was. The man left no part of me untouched. And every single hickey was either black or purple.

"I didn't anticipate this," Maitimo's voice said behind me, pulling my gaze from the mirror. He was already dressed in his black ensemble and his hair was wet, indicating that he took a shower--where though? His gaze was hot as he eyed my body, particularly my thighs and breasts. I self-consciously covered myself. It was really embarrassing to have him looking at me like this in broad daylight. "You bruise more easily than I expected."

"You suck harder than you think, it seems," I said, no rebuke in my tone, even though I detected no remorse from him. I took one last look at the ring of teeth marks adorning my nipple. I touched it, wincing at how sore it was. "I'll have to wear turtlenecks for a few days." I never wore those. So it was going to seem weird, especially if I wear them underneath my scrubs.

"I want to go down on you again," Maitimo announced and I turned to him, shocked at his forwardness, feeling an embarrassing and unexpectant heat pooling in my stomach. I giggled nervously. "I want you on your back, on that kitchen counter with your legs spread. Right now, Priscilla."

"Yesterday wasn't enough?" I asked him, trying to wrap my head around his bluntness, and his awfully graphic descriptions. "I--I only have so little time left--and I need to shower..."

I trailed off, my gaze going down the the impressive bulge straining his black pants. I looked back up at him, flushed and mortified. I was fat, and nevermind the fat that I hadn't even shaved. How could this ideal specimen of a man find me so arousing? 

"I'll be quick with you," Maitimo promised me, coming towards me and grasping me around the waist, pulling me outside. I complied with him, weak for his attentions. I should be ashamed with myself. I was a liar to myself. Didn't I promise myself that there would be no more sex until I made the boundaries clear? "You won't last long either way."

Should I be offended? I wasn't. He patted the kitchen counter that was suspiciously clear of any pots and pans. It was a little higher than my hips so when I turned to hop on it (my breasts were embarrassingly jiggly), Maitimo's arms came around me and assisted me the rest of the way. 

"Maitimo," I began but I was cut off by a gentle kiss from him. No--I couldn't be distracted. I wanted to make things clear before I got too excited. I gently pushed him away. "I just want to know where we stand together."

"Our relationship?" he asked me, standing back and looking at my face, his face void of emotions. I shifted with discomfort at his change in attitude. 

"You said you weren't interested in pursuing a relationship with me and I am not comfortable with casual sex," I finally said after contemplating how to word it. "I know you called me your lover, but that can mean anything. Is there a label we can put on it?"

For the longest while, Maitimo was silent. Then he spoke, this time his tone was serious. "I'll give you my answer tonight when I come to pick you up. For now, can I go down on you?"

I spread my legs, shifting myself so that each heel was on either side of my hips on the counter. Maitimo smirked, the look strangely devilish in his eyes, especially when his eyes didn't move from the spot where he wanted to be. I could feel my breath hitch when his one good hand traced my knee to the inside of my thigh. "My markings on you are driving me insane," his voice was guttural. He looked me in the eyes the leaned to give my lower lip a nip before actually going down on me. I cried out, my hand shooting out to grip his hair. That man and his tongue...

And he was right. It was barely five minutes before I came all over his mouth. Maitimo gently dislodged my fist from his hair, pulling back and then wiping his mouth with his stump. My whole body was flushed and I was panting, open-mouthed, gaping at him. 

"Why are you crying?" he asked me gently, wiping away my tears. I was actually crying, which was concerning for me. Why? Oh, right. I was crying from the pleasure of it, like I did last night, countless of times.

"It felt good," I cleared my throat, embarrassed. I glanced down and saw that he was as hard as a rock. I reached out for it, intending to relieve him of his hard-on. Maedhros caught my little wrist (little in his hand). 

"Think carefully, do you have at least ten minutes to spare?" he asked me, glancing at the clock. "I am too addicting to be short."

I laughed at his arrogance. But it was true. He really was. Each time with him was a long affair. Eventful, but long. With me, I was a short-circuit. I glanced at the clock. I only had half an hour to squeeze in a shower and change quickly. The commute took an hour. "No," I pouted. I was truly disappointed. I wanted to feel him inside me.

"Go," Maitimo urged me, giving my breast a soft stroke to their underside before helping me down. "I'll give you my answer tonight." I nodded grimly, taking my bathing rope and wrapping it around myself, disappointed. "Here, take your work clothes."

He handed me a neatly folded bundle of clothing, including a sports bra and panties. How was he so thoughtful? I gave him a grateful smile, accepting it. I quickly hurried into my aunt's apartment.

"You are late," Paulo observed. "Are you ok?" I nodded.

"Are you?" I asked him back and he grinned at me, holding up his math workbook.

"Help me after work, ok?" Paulo asked me sweetly.

"Ok," I nodded. 

"Those neighbors were annoying last night," my uncle snapped. "I didn't sleep, is that why you slept so late? I couldn't sleep because of them!"

My jaw dropped in mortification. They heard me? Based on the way they talked about it, they didn't think to link it to me. Of course they wouldn't. I haven't had sex since coming to America. And back home, everyone thought I was a virgin (I lost my virginity to a boy when I was fourteen and neither of us knew anything about sex). So it was a huge possibility that they couldn't link any of that to me. I was blushing with shame. Wow...how loud was I last night? I knew it wasn't Maitimo. He was silent, only a few grunts and not nearly as loud as I was. He should have shushed me.

"Yes," I lied, "Does it show? I probably have bags under my eyes."

"You are still beautiful," my auntie cooed at me and I blushed.

"Why are you showering today? Didn't you shower yesterday?" Uncle asked me. I frowned at him How was this his business when I paid for half the water bill. My auntie shushed him quickly. 

"Let her mind her own business, she pays for it," my auntie rebuked him. My uncle grumbled moodily and I walked into the washroom, tense with annoyance. His microaggression towards me was suffocating. It wasn't my fault that I had no water in my apartment. I didn't normally take showers every day. Usually every other day. But the way that Maitimo railed me, multiple times, last night was enough to make me feel sticky till next Sunday. I didn't regret it.

I walked into the shower and turned on the water, brushing through my hair and washing it, before thoroughly cleaning my sex. I quickly peed, wincing at how it burned. Ouch. Not a UTI, but apparently, having doing the dirty with someone like Maitimo made my sex feel like an open sore, especially when I peed. I then put on my clothes and glanced at myself in the mirror. Hair down today? Obviously. I would rather get harrassed for letting my hair down than for having hickeys. One thing was more sexual than the other and I couldn't tolerate any perverted advances, even though I knew it was going to happen. 

When I walked past my apartment, I gently knocked on the door, glancing around and opening it. Maitimo was already waiting for me next to the kitchen window, facing the back of the other apartment building. "See you downstairs?" I asked.

"Yes," he agreed. I closed the door and walked down the stairs. 

*

"You know not to come into the store and stay there with me, right?" I was nervous. It felt weird. Now that we had sex, and Maitimo was nicer to me, I had a bad feeling that he might start to take somethings that creeps did against me in the convenience store a little too personally. I remember how badly he beat up Andrew. He was never charged for assault and battery (though it would never have gone through since it was technically in self-defense when he came to protect me). Andrew needed to pay for some facial reconstruction, especially for the nose, cheeks, and jaw. I still was never sure how Maitimo got away with it. 

"I know," he agreed casually. 

"And no stalking around the store or on rooftops."

"What makes you think I go on rooftops?"

"You can scale a building, what makes me not think that?" 

"Nevermind. Yes. But keep your phone open so I can reach you," Maitimo commanded me. He had gotten out a little burner phone and made me save his number on the way here. I think I was the only number on that phone.

"Ok," I agreed.

"Good luck with work."

"Yea," I nodded, blushing at the way he looked at me, unsmiling, but his eyes were brighter than ever, just for me.

The convenience store was surprisingly slow today. I was restocking shelves and deviating between my books and serving customers. Everyone was minding their own business today. It was strange, maybe me day was supposed to end happily. Or not.

The thought came as I felt a little hand pinch my ass hard enough to make me yelp. I recoiled, slamming into the fridge that I was restocking. I looked up and my stomach fell to my chest. I didn't exactly know this person. But I saw him everytime I walked down the street, past the strip club where him and his croneys congregated at. He was always smoking something, with some kind of woman perched on his lap or sitting next to him. The man in question was under the illusion that he was a gangster, and acted like one, terrorizing the streets and evading the cops. He was around my age, maybe older, with tattoos all over his neck and face. He was wearing a long checkered red jacket.

"What's your name?" ew, his breath smelled bad. I never smelled anything so foul. He must have been around my height. 

"Sally," I lied, wondering why he was asking for my name if he could see it on my badge. I had asked the hiring manager to give me a different name so that none of the people here could track me down through social media so my name was Sally.

"Where's your crib at?" he asked me and I moved past him. I wasn't going to entertain this fool.

"How can I help you?" I asked him as I finally got behind the safety of my counter. I hated looking at his face. He was attractive, but he was also creepy and a lowlife. I might have had a bit of a superiority complex when it came to people like him. But I have seen what they could do. I have seen how they like to hinder their life for the sake of drugs and violence and money. It annoyed me that they thought that they could come and rip into me and ruin my day everytime I worked here.

"You are my girl now, you hear?" he asked me. Did he think this was supposed to flatter me? I looked at him blankly, suppressing the vomit I was about to project onto him.

"I am not your girl," I snapped bluntly. "I have a boyfriend. I go home every night to him. He fucks me good and blows a hole in my womb, afterwards he cooks for me a delicious meal and makes love to me all night long. What makes you think I would leave my successful, law-abiding, attentive boyfriend for a gangster like you?"

His face soured, "You dirty slut," he snarled. "That ain't no man, that is a simp. Women need a hard hand to let them know who's boss!"

Was this guy serious? I just threw in his face why my imaginary boyfriend was better than him in every way and he still thought he was better? "Which is why I won't ever leave him or cheat on him with a man like you."

"You don't know what you are missing out on," the man shrieked. "I am Big Jizz! I can find that cunt of a boyfriend and have him fucked over."

I wanted to laugh. "My boyfriend tortures people for a living. You aren't gonna do shit because he can do things to you that will make you cry for your momma. Leave if you have nothing else to buy." Where was all this courage coming from? I knew it wasn't wise to antagonize this man. But I couldn't help it. I was incensed by the way h thought it was ok to lay his hands on me. Besides, everything I said so far was a lie. I didn't have a boyfriend. But I had a psychotic sex partner who resembled a beautiful elf-giant (his pointy ears were strange) more than he did a human and could scale buildings and beat up rapists. So maybe not so much a lie...he said he was a warlord. Did warlords torture people?

Big Jizz said nothing, only glared at me hatefully. "You're mine, bitch. I'll have you choking on my cock soon."

"Right," I said disbelievingly. "Until then, I will go and have my back blown out raw by a 12-inch dick. I'm gonna have his babies."

"If he is so perfect, why is he letting you do this job?" Big Jizz exploded. 

"None of your business. Go, I already called the cops," I was infuriated. The trash that kept spewing out of my mouth was ridiculous. But I regret none of it even though I knew I would later. Big Jizz hurried out, fuming and angry. I was ready to cry by then. I hated this work place. It was mentally taxing. And now I've been targeted by a gangster who thought it was Ok to lay unwanted claim on me. I never even spoke to this dude.

I picked up my phone and quickly texted my manager.

_This text is my two weeks. Great working with you._

I put my phone on silent for the rest of the shift. 

*

When I was closing up the store at 12, I turned around and walked down the darkened streets. I was already on edge from my encounter with Big Jizz. I had a terrible feeling that someone bigger and stronger than me might molest me as revenge for antagonizing and taunting Big Jizz with my perfect, imaginary boyfriend with a 12-inch dick, who tortures people for a living. 

"Priscilla," it was Maitimo's voice. Thankfully, by then, I had reached the other side of my neighborhood. "Someone is following you."

"I figured," I said glumly. "One of the gang leaders wants to make me his girl. I rejected him badly. They are probably trying to freak me out. Keep away from me, they might target you."

"I know," Maitimo said darkly. "I heard the entire conversation. I will be your boyfriend with a 12-inch dick, who rails you every night, walking you home."

I paused, turning to look up at him, mortified. "None of what I said is true," I squeaked quickly, nearly crying with embarrassment. "I don't know if it is- about you know what--but I-I just made stuff up to get him off my back."

"Did he lay his hands on you?" I couldn't see his expression in the dark or discern his tone of voice. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not, which was what made it so scary. "I'll know if you lie," he warned me. 

It was stupid, but I took the risk and decided not to believe him. "No, he didn't."

"Liar."

This was ridiculous. "If you know then why did you ask?"

"Because I wanted to see if you are still gonna keep covering up for scum like that," Maitimo growled softly. 

"Listen, I already handed in my two weeks. I'll work my last two shifts and then be out of here. Ok?" I was trying to diffuse the tension that I could see coiling around his muscles like a vice grip. "Besides, why do you care so much?"

Maitimo paused , grasping my arm and halting m from my walk, I slammed back into his chest. I looked around to see the spectators. Only a few homeless people. "You are under my protection, regardless of the fact that I rail you every night with my 12-inch dick."

I flushed with mortification; "Sorry for using you like that. Is that why you are mad? I just made up random shit based on you. You can be scary and I wanted to scare that guy off."

"Doesn't matter," Maitimo growled. "Keep walking, let's go home."

I followed him glumly. I was already annoyed and at a precarious emotional stage right now. I couldn't bear to stand Maitimo's anger. He was just so scary when he was mean. I was terrified of getting hurt, even though he never really hurt me beyond threatening statements, especially in the beginning. Still, it was a fear that I had. Maitimo led me through a new route. We took many turns out side of my regular walk so instead of having it be a 15 minute walk, it turned out to be a forty-five minute walk and by then I was incredibly sore on my feet and near swaying with fatigue. But I didn't say anything because I sensed Maitimo's stormy mood. Besides, it was my fault. If I hadn't egged on that idiot, we wouldn't be in this predicament.

We reached my apartment complex and that was where we split up, I walked up the stairs while Maitimo disappeared God knows where. It was so dark already. I glanced glumly behind me. No one was following. I quickly hurried inside and took the elevator. Normally, I avoided taking the elevator because it was questionable and always malfunctioned.

I clicked the fifth floor button first in case someone managed to get in and look at the elevator floor number. And then i clicked the forth when I landed on the fifth floor. "Why are you so late?" Paulo. 

"Why are you not asleep?" I asked him instead. "It's almost one, baby."

"We're watching Tom and Jerry," Paulo said back in English. He understood when I spoke portuguese. He just didn't speak it so well. "Help me with my homework a little?"

"Yea sure," I nodded, "Just let me put my bags inside."

"Ok," Paulo nodded and I quickly put the bags in, my gaze meeting Maitimo's stormy one. I studiously ignored him and dumped my bag, going back outside and sitting with Paulo for a few minutes. His homework was easy and I felt guilty that I made him wait up so long for me. I explained a few concepts to him as patiently and as simply as possible but I was dead tired. 

"Sleep now, Paulo," I admonished him, "You need sleep. Don't wait up for me again. There is always tomorrow to get through all of this, OK?"

"Ok, Cila," he grinned at me and I smiled at his infectious grin. I got into my apartment and gently shut the door behind me.

"Maitimo?" I called hesitantly, removing my shoes and taking off my jacket. I bumped in the dark against the wall and winced, opening the lights. There he was, sitting on the dining room table, going through his burner phone. 

"Sit with me," he commanded me softly and I obeyed. "You asked me this afternoon how I wanted to proceed with this relationship."

I totally forgot about that. I tried not to show that I did forget because I was the one who made such a fuss about it. "Yes," I said anyways.

"I do not often use the terminology that you would use. But the label i would place on this relationship is better known to you as 'dating'."

So dating, right? That was easy.

"So you wanna date?" I asked him hesitantly. I tried imagining him going on those sappy dates where he wins for me a bunch of teddy bears at the carnival and laughs with me over some ice cream. It was a weird image, one that I hoped would not be engraved in my mind. "Like go on dates with me and we both get to know each other?"

"Yes," Maitimo said.

"Why?" I was not letting him off easily. Is it because I put it as a limitation when it came to sex? Was that the only reason he wanted to date me? "Is it because you want to have sex with me and that is the only condition I have for you?"

"No," Maitimo said flatly. "I want to date you because it is the only way I can put you under my protection without you questioning my motives every time I tell you to do something."

I flushed. "So not because of me as a person, but because I keep rebuffing your protection?"

Maitimo regarded me carefully. "Partly. I don't make decisions based on one factor alone."

"What other factors?" I was dying to know. I needed to know if this was a joke or not. I had been the butt of these kinds of jokes one too many times.

"It benefits me to protect you. You are already aware of half the story of who I am, so it is easy to be intimate and close with you," Maitimo said. "I don't see the harm in pursuing a relationship with you either way. It is mutually beneficial for both of us to be in a relationship with one another."

When I thought about it, it wasn't a sappy declaration of love that I expected. I had gotten them before as an excuse to date me but I was always dubious of those types. It was good that Maitimo was different in that respect. 

"It doesn't bother you that I am short and fat?" I asked him hesitantly. I was trying to get to the bottom of this. I was trying to figure out why he was...just so different. 

Maitimo seemed taken back by that question. "I didn't realize that was an insecurity that you had." There was reproach in his tone and I flushed with embarrassment. 

"I have the right to know," I insisted. "I am not changing for anyone, just so we are clear. If I am gonna lose weight or change, it won't be for you."

"I never asked such a thing of you," Maitimo said blankly.

"And I won't ask such a thing of you either," I told him. "But we need to establish some ground rules in this relationship if you are truly serious about this."

"I will take you in any way you come," Maitimo said, "What are those ground rules?"

"No more threats," I said, watching his expression carefully. Up until now, he was passive and unchanging, still as water. "You will have my word that I won't expose you and you need to leave me and my family alone with those threats. I want you to meet my family, but I don't want it to be tense and bad. I will protect you with all that I have, just like you do to me. I promise."

Maitimo was silent for the longest while. "No more threats," he agreed. It kind of disturbed me how long he had to take to think about that. "I have your word that you will hide my background, that is enough for me."

"Will it be enough for Fingon?"

"It will be," Maitimo said. "He has no choice. I am the only one you speak to. He wants no dealings with you or yours."

Ouch? "That's nice of him, right?"

"Fingon is not nice," Maitimo said flatly. Ok, let's swiddle off that topic. "What else?"

"Will you stay here with me?" I asked him nervously, "I mean like, live here while we are dating, or will you go back to your other hideout or whatever?"

"I won't be with you all the time," Maitimo said. "I must attend to my other duties elsewhere."

"Ok, fair," I nodded, slightly relieved. I was scared he might become a distraction to me. "Also, I like it when you are nice, sweet, and honest with me."

Maitimo looked confused. "I am always nice, sweet, and honest with you."

"Only during sex," I pouted. "I want it always. I have the emotional strength of a toothpick. I can't handle bad feelings."

He was now looking at me with amused incredulity and I shifted shyly. "Well?"

"If I am ever rude or mean to you, tell me. I can't catch myself on these things. I am the oldest of six other brothers, it is difficult for me to be nice, sweet, and honest as you like it," Maitimo acquiesced.

My jaw dropped. He had six brothers? He was the oldest of them? Wow, another topic for another time. "I'll ask more about your brothers," I promised him and he scoffed good-naturedly. "And yes, I will certainly catch you on your bad attitude. Do you have anything to add?"

"Yes," Maitimo cleared his throat. "I want you to always be honest with me. If you lie like you did tonight, I can't guarantee I won't go out my way to hurt these men."

A heavy silence saturated the room. "Maitimo, you can't do that. You can't hurt people for my sake."

"Then don't lie when I ask you who hurt you," Maitimo said, his expression darkening. "It won't make it better for that person."

"What will you do to him?" I was nervous now. Maitimo regarded me carefully before speaking.

"I will make sure he never lays another finger on you again," Maitimo said simply. I felt hot. His protectiveness over me made me nervous. I didn't want him like that. 

"Maitimo, here is another ground rule. Don't hurt every person who hurts me. I do bad things too. I only need you to protect me, not hurt the people who hurt me," I said softly, fiddling with my bracelet. "I know you don't like that but please. You might not be held accountable here because you are...not from here but I am. If these things trace back to me, even you can't protect me. So please, just consider me."

Maitimo was silent for a moment. "I will consider you."

"I need you to promise me that," I begged him. "You almost got into so much trouble with Andrew, I--" his face suddenly turned stormy. I fell silent. Bringing up that person soured everything. "I don't want you to be persecuted over something like that. You deserve better."

"And so do you," Maitimo said fiercely.

"Thank you Maitimo," I told him sweetly, getting up and walking up to him, holding out his hands. "So we are dating now? Let's shake hands on it."

While looking me dead in the eyes, he gripped my outstretched hand and gently shook it. "Thank you for your trust," he said cordially, suddenly rising up.

"Thanks for yours too," I told him sincerely. "I know it must be difficult to just be forced to be ok with someone else knowing a secret like that."

"You aren't just anyone, now," he told me gently, tracing my jaw with his hook. "You are precious to me, now."

"That was quick," I laughed, a little nervously. "You too."

"I have to cut this night short," Maitimo said suddenly. "I am needed elsewhere for now. I will be back before sunrise."

I was confused. "At this time?"

"Us Eldar, we do not sleep. Our days are much longer than yours. My time to rest is not yet," Maitimo said, watching me carefully.

"What is an Eldar?" I was confused.

"It is what I am. Soon, I will explain everything."

"Alright then, see you whenever I do," should I kiss him good bye? It didn't seem like a bad idea. Now that we are officially 'dating', I felt a little bit more confident to do something like this without having to dance around the bush for it.

I gently tugged him down by his collar and pressed my lips to his--yessssss. That felt good. He gave my bottom lip a quick nip before pulling away, the pupils in his green-eyes blown and now engulfing his entire cornea. Creepy. Hot.

"Before sunrise," he promised. 

"I'll be sleeping then," I warned him. 

He said nothing. Instead, he climbed up the kitchen window and leapt into the darkness. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Explicit content.

It was difficult to have some alone time when exams are coming up. I had no time to look for a job, neither did I have time to give to my cousins or even Maitimo, who was strangely more easily accessible than my immediate family. Probably because I didn't get out of my apartment much, even outside of the university. I was so behind in my university. That week off nearly destroyed my progress in school. 

"Eat something, my girl," my auntie cooed, sliding a small plate of strawberries to me. I thanked her, appreciating her. When I turned to look back at my book, my heart fell, I missed my page. Fuck, I might have to restart. "Good luck tomorrow."

"Thanks," I said distractedly. I didn't even hear my aunt leave, nor did I hear Maitimo slip in.

"This is the third meal today that you forgot to eat," Maitimo pointed out. "All the rest is in the fridge."

"Thanks," I repeated distractedly. "I'll eat after."

I didn't hear what he said.

I woke up to my alarm the next morning, finding that I was fast asleep, on my couch, with a blanket over me. My books where where I left them and Maitimo was no where to be found. on the kitchen counter was a sandwich on a plate...it was cream cheese, avocadoes, and ham. My auntie made this? How sweet of her, I was starving. I had two hours to commute to my exam. I quickly ate and put on my clothes, running out to catch my bus.

*

"I think your boyfriend is waiting for you," Suzee told me slyly. I looked at her blankly. I never told her I had a boyfriend. I looked to where she was pointing and there Maitimo stood, with his fishing hat, his tight fitting, black clothes, and this time, a grey overcoat. He looked attractive. He was a wonderful view to have after a hard week of exams. I cleared my throat when I remembered my little story that I gave her.

"He is my sister's fiancé," I said, feeling kind of pissed at myself that I dubbed him that. It was in my heart to greet him with a hug and a kiss. But now I couldn't do that.

"Sweet of him to pick you up whenever though," Suzee said, sounding a little put out by that. I was confused, why was she so invested in a man who was about to get married (not literally, but still)? It also annoyed me. Suzee was prettier than me, skinnier, and infinitely smarter. I was slow-witted by nature and it took me a lot of effort to get where I was today. I glanced at Maitimo, only to find him watching me with an intensity that betrayed my lies. I quickly looked away, feeling a blush rise. Haha, if no one noticed him looking at me, at least someone noticed me blushing. 

"Yea," I nodded. "We are going to eat dinner at my sister's. I got to go, I can't be late."

"See ya," Suzee said and I let out a breath of relief. I walked over to Maitimo, giving him a hesitant smile. He didn't smile back but his gaze was thoroughly focused on me. 

"Let's go," he said gruffly. "I have something planned."

I perked up. Really?

"What, like a date?" I asked him hesitantly, looking at my ratty clothes that I haphazardly threw on. 

"Of sorts," Maitimo agreed, walking me, staying away from me as we walked. I think he heard the conversation and realized the need to keep some distance. 

"I'm not ready," I pouted. "I don't look too good, Maitimo. Can't we go home and freshen up?"

Maitimo paused, looking me up and down. "Will it make you feel better?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I can look really good if I try. You never saw me look good."

"You might take too long," he frowned. "And you never were ugly."

"Can it be post-poned till tomorrow then?" I asked him hesitantly, blushing at his comment and choosing not to address it. What do you say to that. It was the first compliment that I ever received from a guy who wasn't a crackhead or suspicious. Even my very first boyfriend never complimented me, now that I think on it. Andrew only ever complimented me as part of his charm that ruined my mentality.

Maitimo frowned. "I suppose I don't see why not."

"Thank you, Maitimo," I told him, smiling at him brightly. He already made me feel better. "I really appreciate you for this."

He said nothing. I was scared that I might have offended him. "Hey can we stop somewhere? I wanna buy a few things."

Maitimo nodded mutely, and this time, now that we were out of range of our campus, he moved closer to me so that we were almost touching. I was king of grateful that he didn't wrap an arm around me or tried to hold my hand. In either case, it would have looked awkward with our extreme height difference. 

I walked into the drug store, picking up a few makeup products, a few skin care products, and then some shaving equipment that I needed. It was the most expensive purchase that I treated myself to in a while. but I wanted to look good on my first 'official' date. 

"What is the dress code?" I asked him when we were scanning stuff out. 

"Casual fancy," he said, without hesitation. In that moment, embarrassingly, in front of the female cashier, I ran back and grabbed black mesh stockings. I came back in a dignified manner, letting the cashier process it and put it in the bag. And then the entire ride back from the drug mart, I was busy formulating my outfit in my mind. I had a dark green, silk wrap dress with long sleeves. The neckline was low cut but it would go well with my nice bra. Although it might be too short for the weather, and for my size. I can wear the stockings that I brought, and maybe a pair of vans, for the sake of the weather. I already knew I was going to use my mom's black, fur-collar coat.

"So tomorrow, right?" I asked him nervously. "Then don't come home tonight. I want to get ready and have it a surprise tomorrow."

I wouldn't be able to focus if it was with him. I would spend all my time and energy just focusing on him and being nervous around him. Maitimo looked at me strangely. "What--"

"Please," I begged him, falling against his chest in supplication. He didn't budge under my weight but his good hand came out and gripped my shoulder blade, pulling me more against him. Whoops, PDA. I tried to pull away but his hands held me in place so I just relaxed against him.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon," he finally said. "Tell your family you will be away for the night."

"Ok," I agreed. I was willing to do that. I could feel a spike of heat shoot through me at the implication. I cleared my throat, looking around the empty train compartment, one business worker was seated, his earphones in and sleeping soundly. "I'll walk the rest of the way. I need to make a few more stops."

Maitimo watched me silently, no expression on his face. I wasn't sure why he was always like this? Was he thinking really hard about something and not bothering to tell me what it is? I suppose I overthought things as well. I wished I knew what he was thinking. 

So we parted ways at the subway. I went into a random cafe and accessed the wifi, searching up the closest lingerie store that I could find. The closest one was a sex shop and it catered nicely to plus size women. I went there and purchased two sets of lingerie as well as a leather garter belt. 

"Planning to tease someone?" The older woman asked me, with a knowing gaze. I blushed. "Yea."

"Lucky guy, or gal," she shrugged and I scoffed nervously. I really didn't swing that way. Not that I could. Especially not when I had Maitimo to make me feel good about myself. Ever since we have officially declared our relationship status, we hadn't slept together. Yea he cuddled with me a little, but he didn't do anything else. And I was busy with exams too, and I couldn't afford to be tired from sex. I was scared to have sex with him during that time because who knows how long this man would have gone on for? I didn't have the time or energy to spare on this guy during my exam period. He needed a whole day to himself. 

So I got back home and I started my overdue beauty routine. I waved my limbs and trimmed my pubic hair, knowing that Maitimo had an unnatural hatred for shaved pubic areas. Still, I'd rather have it short. I exfoliated my skin all over that I can and moisturized all over. I put my already curly hair in coils and laid out my outfit. I put on my planned outfit and I was pleased that it didn't look half as bad as I anticipated that it would. The dark green mini dress was a beautiful color on me and the lingerie that I purchased made a nice effort in making my breasts seem nicer while exposing the cleavage area to a bralette, the fanciest one I have. It looked nice, not too skanky for sure, still though, scandalous. The black stockings I wore with the garter belt and I put a small being cardigan on and my mom's fur coat. The outfit was beautiful and complete, made even more so by the oxford heels that I hitched from the thrift shop on my way home. 

I was going to be pretty tomorrow. I went to sleep with that in mind, dreaming of all the beauty tutorials I watched for brown girls while shaving. 

*

I am having cold feet.

Maitimo said casual fancy, did that mean heels? What was his definition? Were we going to walk a lot? Should I wear shorts so my thighs don't chafe? I forced myself to calm down and proceed as I planned. Casual fancy didn't have to mean wearing jeans as the results on google showed. If I looked confident enough, I could do whatever I wanted. So I applied my make up on as tastefully as I could. I picked up my phone and dialed the number that Maitimo gave me.

"Maitimo," I said when he picked up.

"Hello," he said.

"I'll come down, ok," I said. "I don't want my family to know I will be spending the night with a boy."

"I am not a boy," Maitimo said, amused. "I will wait for you downstairs."

"Alright," I nodded. "Thanks for understanding. I'll meet you there."

I hung up on him and walked out of my apartment, knocking on my aunt's door. Paulo answered, I could hear Jolie in the other room crying. She was still so young. 

"You look pretty, Cilla," Paulo said sweetly and I smiled at him, my heart melting at his dimples. 

"Thanks, baby, where is auntie?"

"I'm here, my daughter, where are you going?" she asked me, pausing to look at my outfit. 

"I am going on a girl's night out," I said. "To celebrate the end of our exams. I'm sleeping over because I might be drunk."

My aunt looked worried. "Will there be any boys?"

"There are no boys in my program, only girls," I lied. "I will be fine. I have everything on my phone and I have pepper spray."

"Don't drink too much, ok?" my auntie seemed nervous. "You are old enough to know better now. I can't tell you what to do. Don't make bad decisions."

"Ok, auntie. I'll be careful," I promised, giving her and Paulo a kiss, going inside to hug Jolie. She cooed at me, pressing a wet kiss to my collarbone. I kissed her gently, setting her back in the crib that my uncle made for her. I bid them all goodbye before going down the stairs and walking outside of my apartment complex, where I knew Maitimo was waiting for me. And there he--

Oooh, hello there, handsome.

He was gorgeous. Still in black though. He was wearing a black blazer over a white shirt and black jeans, all underneath a grey winter jacket. It was my first time seeing him in any color other than black. He had chosen to forgo his customary fishing hat and now he was conspicuous. I could see everyone across the street gaping at him, having never seen such a tall and beautiful person in real life. Neither have I. He dressed up for me. Judging by the way he looked me up and down, his thought process mirrored mine. 

"Good to see you," I said. 

"Hmm," he grunted, intently studying my face. "You look different."

"Mascara," I automatically replied, blushing. "And make up. Makes me look different. Not too shabby?"

"No," he said quickly. "I like it."

He turned and walked, motioning to me to come and walk next to him. "I brought my car," he announced and I looked at him in shock.

"You had a car this whole time?" I was genuinely surprised. "Do you own a house too?"

"Yes," he said. "I share it with those who are stranded here, on Earth, with me. Including Fingon."

I tried to wrap my head around this new piece of information. "Then why did you stay with me?"

"To ensure your silence."

"Why did you never use a car?"

"It was easier to get to your place without a car," Maitimo said. "There is no space for cars in this area."

That's true. Leave it for a second and people might just pull it apart and sell the pieces for some crack money. It was only a few meters from us but he drove a pitch black sedan. Sweet. It was even one of the latest models. Is this a dream? This is too good to be true. Why did God see fit to give me a perfect male for a boyfriend when I must be the most imperfect person to exist? It was really unfair for Maitimo.

"Lemme guess," I said dryly, trying to hide my ugly, self-conscious thoughts. "Black is your favourite color?"

"It goes with everything," Maitimo said. "I don't need to try too hard."

Maitimo opened the door for me and I got in. He tainted his windows. I watched him go over the other side and get in behind me. I adjusted myself in the seat, pulling my seatbelt on.

And then we got on the road. His car was smooth and beautiful. It smelled nice too. The scenery around me was amazing. We drove for a long time, nearly an hour to reach the nicer part of downtown. He parked his car in a chauffeur garage and we walked for a while, just doing nothing. I had no idea what he ad planned but so far, I was enjoying myself. it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. 

"We are going there," Maitimo pointed at state-of-the-art structure. "I wanted to go and see the diamond exhibition there."

"Oh, ok," I nodded, and followed him into the building. "I never got the chance to go to museums and such," I said dreamily, watching well-dressed people enter the building. We were stopped at the entrance of the building for a few minutes.

"How come?" He asked me, "Do you not live here?"

"I am originally from Brazil. My parents sent me here to study. It is very expensive to study and live at the same time, in America. I have no time to enjoy myself," I said distractedly, watching as Maitimo gave a sleek, black card--an invitation--to the porter, who scanned it and greeted us both. This was an exclusive event? Ok.

"And I could see why it was an exclusive event. Security was airtight--no body guards--just an entire SWATT team manning the the orifices of the building. There were cameras at ever angle and corner. Maitimo didn't look bothered. The jewel exhibition was beautiful in itself. There was ancient pieces, and modern art pieces. One of them cost up to a whopping ten million dollars. I was a little ashamed that I couldn't understand the value and prices of the jewelry that I saw. But judging by the way Maitimo studied a few pieces, it seems that he understood.

"This one does not deserve the price it has on it," Maitimo told me softly, sitting me down on a bench and sitting next to me. 

I looked to where he was looking, and his gaze was focused on a cut of diamond that everyone gravitates towards. It was beautiful. It was a little ring. It wasn't simple in the least. But it was very expensive.

"How much more expensive could it be?"

"It is too expensive," Maitimo corrected, letting his hand casually sit on my knee as he massaged it. It felt amazing and intimate. I felt myself flush. "It's value is based purely on its historical significance."

"Who did it belong to?" I cleared my throat, trying to regain composure. I studied his face, to see if he was aware--he probably was but the bastard had an 

"I don't know," Maitimo said. "But what I do know is that this jeweller patented this ring and oversold it at a price that attracted the richest and finest of gentries."

"Isn't there a set of rules and regulations against that sort of thing?"

"No," Maitimo said. "Anyone can dress a donkey up in a horse suit, and none would be the wiser. It is a very good disguise though."

"You sound arrogant," I frowned. "How do you know so much?"

Maitimo turned to me, his green eyes bright. "I used to be a pioneer in such crafts--I had pupils from all over my country who would come to me for those teachings--though I was never greater than my own father."

He was talking about something but the shadow in his eyes told me that it wasn't as pleasant as he made it out to be. "Your father?"

"Yes--I do not wish to speak of this, Priscilla," Maitimo told me quietly and I fell silent, a little hurt over the lid he put on my curiosity. "In the right time, I will tell you. Mine is not a pleasant story, I do not wish to ruin this night."

I nodded, still put off but understanding. "Childhood trauma?"

"Of sorts," Maitimo said. "Not really in my childhood. I gave up my art for the sake of war."

There it is again, the war. "Is that how you lost your hand and got all those scars?"

"...Yes," he finally said. "Another time, Priscilla."

Alright then, I won't push even though I was really curious.

"Some champagne, Sir, Madam?" a waiter, tall and handsome, but not as tall as Maitimo. 

"Thank you," Maitimo said, taking two glasses and handing me one. "Enjoy, Priscilla."

"Cheers," I said, watching him take a sip of the champagne. His face didn't change. Was it good?

I took one sip, frowning--it was really sour and strong. Ew. "Want mine?"

He looked at the glass. "You don't like it?"

"It is too strong," I murmured, embarrassed, glancing at the other people around us. 

"Maitimo," it was a man's voice. Not loud, but right behind us. I turned around and I was surprised to see Fingon. It has been a really long while since I saw him and he was dressed in a tuxedo. Fingon was watching me carefully and I noticed that his long mane of black hair had golden strands woven through it. 

"Fingon," Maitimo greeted shortly. "I did not think you would come."

"Change of plan," Fingon said, looking behind us. "That ring is overpriced."

I looked behind me and surely enough, it was the same ring that Maitimo criticized. 

"You could have done a finer job," FIngon scoffed, casually coming to sit beside me on the bench. I moved, accidentally bumping against Maitimo in the effort to make room for Fingon. I have never seen Fingon so...friendly...? He seemed more open. Did he know that Maitimo and I were now dating?

"Are you two brothers?" I asked curiously. 

"Cousins," Maitimo corrected and I felt one arm come and wrap around my waist. "Take my glass Fingon."

Fingon obeyed, taking Maitimo's glass, "Their wine might as well be trash," Fingon scoffed, observing the bubbles. Maitimo said nothing and instead, took my glass. I watched him place his mouth where mine was before sipping. Hot. "I'll go wander around. Are you coming home tonight?"

"Fuck off," Maitimo said and Fingon smirked, his cool gaze drifting over me. 

"You'll be busy doing that as well, I imagine."

I flushed with mortification at Fingon's lewdness. Never mind, not so friendly.

"Hold your tongue, Findekano," Maitimo hissed harshly. "Away with you!"

"Is that how you speak to your k--"

"It is how I speak to my cousin who doesn't know their limits," Maitimo cut Fingon off. "Please."

Fingon's eye twitched before he slowly got up and walked away.

"What was that?" I asked nervously, the tension that was left over was still palpable.

"Fingon's disapproval," Maitimo sounded annoyed.

"Of us dating?"

"Among other things," Maitimo said darkly. 

"I didn't think us dating would be such a huge issue," I frowned.

"Don't think about that, let's continue our tour, we still have a few more places that I have planned," Maitimo sighed, finishing the champagne glass in one go and dropping it off at some random waiter's tray. I followed him and soon, our tour was concluded. It was then that I realized something, never once did Fingon--or Findekano--ever formally acknowledge me or greet me. And I never did anything wrong to him.

*

I didn't understand anything on the menu. And when I read the description, none of the food made sense. I couldn't imagine all these flavors in my mouth and nearly everything had mushrooms in it. I didn't like mushrooms. I never ate them in Brazil so it was difficult to get used to the taste here. Besides, everything was expensive here and the cheapest thing was breadsticks. I didn't want to eat breadsticks.

"Do you want to order for me?" I asked Maitimo when I found that I couldn't decide. 

"Sure," Maitimo said. "Anything you don't like?"

"Fish," I said. I could tolerate mushrooms if they were cooked well. But fish made me queasy.

"Alright then," Maitimo said. Closing the menu and setting it aside. "Anything to drink?"

"You pick first and I'll see if I want the same," I told him, smiling apologetically at his amused gaze. He was so tall that his knees and feet brushed against me in the little table where he sat across from me. The contact was making me hypersensitive. "I have never been to a place like this before."

His smile fell, "Is it making you uncomfortable?"

I shook my head frantically. "No, I just never had to read so many descriptions before deciding on what food I want."

He chuckled. "I think maybe you would like a Sangria, is that alright with you?"

When I thought about it, I found that it was agreeable. I really didn't like strong beverages but I liked sweet ones. "Sure."

"I'll order a steak for the both of us," he told me. "I want you to try it medium rare."

I stared at him; half-raw? Maybe I should have decided for myself. But it was too late to back out, I already asked him to decide for me. Instead, I nodded slowly. It couldn't really be that bad. I was queasy about eating raw meat. The meat in Brazil was always well cooked where I grew up because... I don't know why. It just was.

"Have we decided?" A waitress in a pencil skirt said, walking up to us and giving me attention. I flushed nervously. I realized she was doing this because she didn't want me to seem uncomfortable if she asked Maitimo first. I guess it was common-place that women get disturbed over that stuff and I really appreciate it.

"He'll order for us," I said, gesturing to Maitimo.

"Number 28 for both of us, medium rare for her, and rare for myself," Maitimo said, handing her the menu.

"Anything to drink?"

"Sangria for herself, extra fruity. Merlot for myself. Whatever kind is fine," Maitimo said and I was faintly impressed by how proficient he was at this.

"Is this your first time here?" I asked when the waitress left. Maitimo scoffed.

"No," he shook his head. "But my cousin favours this restaurant, so I come here often."

"Your cousin Fingon?" I asked, unsure of which name to use. I decided to use the name that Maitimo told me to call him first.

"His brother," Maitimo corrected me, "Turgon."

"Do all of them have multiple names?"

Maitimo nodded. "My family and I have 4 names, commonly, a mother name, a father name, an epessë--nickname--and a Sindarin name." My head spun. It was as if he was speaking in another language.

"Do you know all of your cousin's four names?" I asked him, a little disturbed. I barely even remembered my own birthday. 

Maitimo paused, as if to think about it. "It depends on my familiarity with my cousins. I am not as close with certain cousins, especially the younger ones. I only know their Father name and their Sindarin name."

"Not their nicknames?" I asked him, a little confused. Isn't family supposed to be close? i was more familiar with my cousin's nicknames than their actual names.

"No," Maitimo shook his head. "We are not so close. An epessë is a name that is used when you have great familiarity with a person."

I was now thoroughly curious; "What are your names?"

"You won't remember them," he warned me.

"Try me," I insisted. I was curious.

"Maitimo is my father name, Nelyafinwë is my mother name, Russandol is my epessë, and Maedhros is my Sindarin name."

"Woah," I said, a little shocked. "So your mom called you Nelyafinwe?" I asked him, stumbling over the pronunciation, wincing at it. It sounded nicer coming from him.

"Yes, the mother honors the husband's name by giving their child a name of the husband's house or family. Finwë is the name of my house. I am of the House of Finwë," Maitimo explained. "The epessë is a form of description to the person, a name they acquire later on in age--a construct of our society. The Sindarin name is a name of the culture that we live in. The father name usually comes a few months later, after the father has determined...an air, to the child."

"An air?"

"My peoples perceive things differently. We can understand a little of our own children, of what they could be, and the father gives a name based on that. The mother precieves such things much earlier, from conception, even."

It all sounded really mystical. "What do your names mean?"

"Nelyafinwë means the third Finwë--my grandfather is Finwë, the first of his house. I am the son of the second Finwë, the third directly in line to the...name of Finwë. Maitimo means the 'well-shaped one' or the 'comely one."

I smiled at that; "So it's not just here that you are outstandingly beautiful, it's also in your culture?"

Maitimo smirked at me. "I now know that such a name is well-deserved, thanks to you," he told me dryly. 

"What about your other names?" I was so curious. 

"Russandol means 'Copper top', for my hair, that I inherited from my mother."

"Your mother is a redhead?" I asked, watching his long, glorious hair. It really was an outstanding characteristic of his.

"Yes, a rarity among our kind," Maitimo said. "A recessive gene as well."

He really was outstanding. "What about that last name? Mae-Maedhros?"

"The tall one," Maitimo said quietly. "It is not a name I favor using. It is not my culture that has determined this name. However, if and when I go back, it is a name that I must use."

"That sounds sad," I said, deflecting the thought of his pending leave. 

"A necessity," Maitimo said. "What about you?"

I giggled nervously, recoiling from the question. I was boring compared to this man. "What about me?"

"Do you have any nicknames?"

"Cilla," I said automatically. "Only my name and my nickname. Boring, I know."

"Where are you from?" Maitimo said back as the waitress arrived with a bottle of merlot and a glass, as well as a large glass of carbonated sangria, bright red, with little lemon triangles in it as well as a few raspberries. Yum? I'll find out.

"Brazil," I said, feeling myself relax. "I grew up a little more in land, just outside of Rio."

"Tell me more," he insisted, leaning forward, his green eyes hypnotizing me. "How is your English so good?"

"Does it show that I am not a native english-speaker?"

"Only an accent, but it is understandable," Maitimo said. "It is charming." I blushed with pleasure.

"My parents were rich enough to afford a private education for me. It was also easy since I was an only child," I said.

"So I'm not engaged to your sister?" He asked, smirking. My jaw dropped, surprised that he heard that. Oh, no. That was so embarrassing. All I could do was giggle.

"No," I waved him off, linking up to the sky to make sure that my tears of laughter didn't mess up my eye make up. "That was just an excuse to keep the girls from getting curious about you. Almost all of them are single and ready to mingle."

Maitimo looked at me. "But they aren't you."

I sobered. Ok, weird. Kinda made me feel good though. "Thanks."

I don't really remember what we talked about, only that I enjoyed talking to him about myself and he didn't seem to mind listening to me. He was watching me intently the entire time. Sometimes I got shy and other times I got confident. When our food came, I was hesitant to try the meat but when I did, I realized why there was such fanfare over it. Yes, I would order it again if I ever got the chance and choice. Maitimo was sweet. It was a side of him that I loved to experience. And I told him that.

"It is not difficult to be nice to you, Priscilla," he told me softly, twirling his glass. My first glass of sangria was almost halfway done and I was already flushed. This man was already on his forth glass of alcohol and didn't have the slightest blush to attest to that fact. He didn't slur his words or get drowsy with his hand movements. "You are very charming."

"Thanks," I giggled, leaning back on my chair and closing my eyes. I could really sleep right about now...what time was it? It was almost nine. We have been at this restaurant for almost two hours. We ate our food slowly because we spoke to each other and after we were finished, we didn't order dessert, but even more drinks and we chatted for so long. I remember a time where I slept at one o'clock. What a wild time. It was only a week ago. 

"Are you ready?" Maitimo asked when he paid the bill. I sat up, flushing. 

"Yea," I said, "But I feel a little tipsy."

"Your alcohol tolerance is laughable," he told me dryly. "Hold on to my arm, Priscilla."

I wasn't drunk enough to not walk in a straight line or require his help. But I've just realized that I wanted to hold hands with him all evening long and now was my opportunity to do it. I held his forearm where he was missing his hand. This time he wasn't wearing a hook, but rather a prosthetic hand with moving fingers. It was nicer.

"Where are we going now?" I asked as I waited for him to slip on his coat. He had helped me get into mine. "You can't drive like that, Maitimo. You drank."

"Would you like to go to a hotel?" he asked me and I paused. I had prepared myself, all last night, for this moment. It was going to be at a hotel? I didn't anticipate that. I thought it would be back at my house. i suppose it was nicer and now it made sense why he had asked me to tell my family that I won't be home tonight. I suppose at a hotel it would be nicer than my ratty apartment. "You can always say no and the night can end here with no hard feelings, Priscilla. I call you a cab and make sure you get home safe."

I looked at him, "What do you mean? I shaved to get railed by a 12-inch dick," I snapped, laughing, half-incredulously and half at my reference to my rejection of Big Jizz. Maitimo gaped at me before bursting into laughter, the type that came deep from the chest. "Not to go back home after I told my family I would be staying the night."

Maitimo, mid-laugh,stooped to cup my chin and leaned down, pressing a scorching kiss to my lips--

There goes my sanity.

"Maitimo," I pulled away, glancing around us. Everyone was walking past us, gaping at Maitimo, shamelessly. "So many people."

"Right," he nodded, "Come, I booked us somewhere with running water and good plumbing," he said, a teasing tone in his voice. I laughed. My apartment didn't have either of those. 

"You are well prepared," I was faintly impressed. "What would you have done if I asked you to go home?"

"I would have cancelled the reservation," Maitimo said simply, buttoning up my last button on my coat, "Drove you home or called you a cab, and went right back to mine if my staying with you made you uncomfortable."

I was hesitant to feel flattered or affected by his words. "No hard feelings?"

"None," he said firmly, with conviction. "Here turn here."

He pointed towards the crossing, which was red. "Did you want to go buy something first?"

I shook my head, watching the brightly colored lights of the city. This area was rich.

"No," I shook my head.

*

"Your room key," the lady behind the fancy-looking counter said, handing Maitimo a sleek white card. "Enjoy your stay."

Maitimo thanked her quietly, taking the keys without glancing at the woman fluttering her lashes at him. She was taller than me by a whole head, and shorter than Maitimo by one too. And she was built like a supermodel, with her hair permed to perfection. If he had landed with her instead of me on that fateful night, it probably would have taken him less than three months to get with her. Less than a week even. Because aside from her beauty and general charm, she was clearly she was interested. That wasn't my case in the beginning. Yea I found him attractive, but I also found him annoying and intimidating so it was difficult to like him at first. And then we began talking with each other after that short business with breaking the bed and my fingering. When she looked at me, her face fell and I was a little surprised. What went on through people's mind to be so hateful and judgemental? When I examined my thought process, I realized that minding my own business was easier than being judgy.

I followed Maitimo into the elevator, suddenly feeling like a skank with my mini red dress. It was so nice in the beginning and at the fancy restaurant. In my mind, before this date, I thought it was elegant. Now I was self-conscious in the Sky-Scraper hotel.

"In here," Maitimo murmured, wrapping an arm around me, pulling me to him. "Watch your step, Priscilla."

The door was raised on a bit of a dias. I slowly took off my little Oxford heels and entered the little room. It was a suite, really. And it was beautiful. I looked around everywhere, surprised. How much must it have cost, probably half of my paycheck. No one has ever spent that much money on me in one night. I never spent that much on myself in one night. I set my little purse down, where I kept all my essentials in.

"It's so warm," I said, resisting the urge to fawn over the place. I didn't want to seem ghetto, even though I probably was. The price tag was probably astronomical. I took off my coat and jacket, hanging them in the little closet nearby. "Here, give me yours."

"I didn't pack pajamas," I said as an afterthought. "I don't know why."

"There is bath robes here," Maitimo said, pointing out the complimentary fluffy white robes laid out for us in the closet. He sounded distracted.

"Oooh," I nodded, "I'll go take off my bra then."

I took the bathrobe walking into the bathroom. "You are seriously taking your dress off right now?"

I looked up at Maitimo, confused. "Yes," I said slowly. "It looks nice but I..."

I trailed off when I found him walking slowly towards me. My hand that was untying the sash at my waist dropped when his hand came over it. "You looked fucking gorgeous tonight. I don't think you realize how beautiful you are. Every single man had their eyes on you. But you only looked at me. Do you know how that made me feel?" Maitimo's voice was gruff, his hand slowly coming in to the topside of my bra, tracing the edge and brushing over a hypersensitive nipple. "That receptionist downstairs was green with envy."

I giggled. "Because I was the one on your arm, not her."

"No," he shook his head, "Because she can never compete."

"She was still beautiful," I said in a small voice, my memory re-analyzing her features and wondering what about her allowed me into the competition in the first place. I didn't voice my thoughts because I didn't want this night to stop at my insecurity. I just accepted the compliment. "Thank you, Maitimo."

It was flattering that he put so much importance to my attention. 

"Maitimo," I whimpered when he gave my breast a loving squeeze, gripping his hand and bringing it from my breast to my mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. I was gonna soak my underwear if he kept doing that. I needed that underwear for tomorrow. "Maitimo, lemme just take off my panties."

"Take off the dress first, Priscilla," Maitimo commanded me, gripping my hand and bringing it up to his mouth, his eyes scorching mine. I obeyed, slowly peeling the dress off me. His nostrils flared, the black in his eyes engulfing all the green. I noticed his eyes did that and it was kind of weird. But I learned that it was a good thing when it did that, because it meant he found me that much more arousing. I slowly set the dress aside on a washroom stool. 

"Yes," he said breathily. Can I just say that this was the sexiest sound I have ever head? "That is the honor that no other man can have," his voice was saturated with approval and male lust. I think I just realized something. I never peaked in high school. I was never the prettiest or smartest or most unique. But right here, right now, with the thrill of finishing my final year, and having Maitimo standing before me and praising my beauty, I just realized that my peak came. A little late, but it came. 

"Maitimo," I murmured, tugging at his belt. "I want to see you too."

He didn't need to be told twice. Slowly, he took off his pants and then took off his shirt, leaving him in an attractive pair of underwear. "All the women were looking at you Maitimo..." I smirked at my little pause. "And men. But I am glad that you chose to look at me."

"Never would the case be otherwise," Maitimo promised. "What is this?" 

He tugged at the strap that held on to my stockings. My garter belt. "Something," I said shyly, refusing to meet his gaze. "It's supposed to be a little treat for the eyes. Is it silly?"

"No," Maitimo shook his head. "I only asked to buy you more of those. I want to see them every time I strip you."

I felt my knees go weak. That man, honestly. "Maitimo, don't compliment me like that, I might let it get to my head."

I was giggling like a schoolgirl, squealing when his arms wrapped around my waist. Everything was ticklish. It was as if this was my first time. But it really wasn't. "Fuck Cilla. No harm in saying the truth if it makes everything better," Maitimo said, giving me a kiss, biting my lips and lifting me so that my legs had no choice but to wrap around him.

"I wanna take off my panties," I pouted, pulling away. "I am already soaked, I don't want to ruin them."

"Don't wear panties tomorrow then," Maitimo said, his gaze fierce. "I want them on you all night long."

"No," I admonished, already soaked at his words. But I was too practical for that. "Absolutely not, it will feel like I am missing a hand--no pun intended."

Maitimo chuckled, rotating his hips into my core, making me gasp at the pressure. "I'll get the hotel to order new ones."

This was worse than the walk of shame. "No, Maitimo! I-oh."

Maitimo gently set me down in the large bath tub, that was already gilled with hot water and scented candles. The water reached my thighs. "That feels good, Maitimo." The water was delightful. "I love it. I love everything that you did for me today."

Maitimo stepped in behind me, the water reaching below his knees, already hard, coming so close to me I could feel him against my upper belly. "You deserve a good break after everything that has happened to you."

"Were you going to take me out yesterday when I was dressed in my sweats?" I asked him. Maitimo shook his head, sitting at the edge of the tub and pulling me closer, between his legs. 

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I had other plans. But I suppose it worked out well that you insisted to have it today."

"Thank you, baby," I murmured, cupping his face and kissing him, all my tension and nervousness roiling away. I unhooked my garter and removed it, throwing it on the floor, shimmying down my underwear and tossing it a little further away. It was already soaked now. 

"Baby?" he asked, gripping one butt cheek. "Me?" He sounded shocked by that. Did he not realize that is what couples called eachother?

"A term of endearment," I explained. "Couples say it to each other."

"Hmm," Maitimo said. 

"Don't call me by my name," I finally said. "I want you to call me a term of endearment too.'

"Baby?"

"No, that is my name for you," I pouted, watching one finger expertly undo my bra from the front, quickly fondling one breast.

"I'll think of something," he promised me, helping me take off the bra and tossing it god knows where. "Just turn around and keep your legs spread just like this. For me."

I nodded, already breathing hard in anticipation. I slowly turned around, loving the way he kept his hands on me. Anything for him when he commanded me in a voice like that.

"I like this," Maitimo said, one hand stroking my back. "I like that my marks on you haven't faded. But I won't mark you like that anymore. I won't be so careless next time."

I moaned softly when he kissed my shoulder blade, one hand coming around to cup my breast and bring me closer.

"I'm going in now," Maitimo warned me. 

"Alright," I whimpered. 

"Sit down slowly, keep yourself open," Maitimo commanded me, his stump and hand on my hip, guiding me slowly as I lowered myself onto him. I whimpered loudly, crying out at the way his girth stretched me. "Good girl."

If he calls me that one more time, I swear I will climax before we even began. I kept my hand on his knees for balance, already shaky from the sensation. 

"Steady on," he murmured, and then said something in another language. It was vaguely familiar. He said it before, in a moment similar to this one and I forgot to ask him about it. I opened my mouth to ask him about it but cried out when he raised his hips, sealing himself deeper than I had the courage to. 

"Mai-" I was going to come and he knew it.

"Patience," He growled at me, giving the shell of my ear a hard, punishing bite that made me moan, in a voice that was ridiculously loud. That made me feel amazing things. "Is a virtue."

"But you feel so good," I whined, moving in that familiar, primal motion. I could hear him pant behind me. The motion continued on for what felt like hours--I just wanted to come now, was that so hard to ask for?

"Please, Maitimo," I whined, tears building up in my eyes. One hand came around, cupping one breast.

"Hold it," he murmured, thrusting his hips slower, his hand trailing down and holding my hip in a vice grip to control his movement. I made a high pitched noise when he shifted himself, hitting a spot differently--better.

"Maitimo--I--" I began but then I saw white in my vision.

"You came," there was hard disapproval in his voice.

"Sorry," I whimpered and then cleared my throat. "Not sorry." I felt afloat. Everything felt amazing.

"You will be," he promised, pulling out of me roughly, still hard. I cried out, tears spilling out of my eyes. Mascara? Probably. I applied quit a bit of eye makeup. It was probably melted all over my face now. I convulsed in on myself, the pain of his abrupt withdrawal and the release that I just had making me go weak in the knees.

"I regret nothing," I told him confidently after gathering my thoughts. I stood up, walking around him and stepping out of the tub and wiping away my wakeup with makeup wipes that I brought with me. "I'm just gonna wipe off my make up. I don't want to ruin the bedsheets or anything."

Maitimo watched me, his eyes heated and his face set in stone. I made short work of it and turned back to him, but I barely had time to look up at him. I was pushed against the wall, my limbs manipulated so that my legs were hanging off his arms where my knees bent. I was pushed against the wall, my legs spread wide. "Oh, you'll hurt yours--argghhh!" 

One hard thrust, he was inside me, a different angle now. One that was infinitely more pleasurable and more painful. I wrapped my arms around his neck, appreciating how his body set a hard pace. I buried my hands in his hair and my face in his neck, pressing my breasts against his chest. I felt like I was incredibly high and it may be so. He was ridiculously tall and powerful. I couldn't help but make those stupid noises that sounded fake but I couldn't stop making them. I could feel a pressure building up inside of me and just as I was about to come, Maitimo pulled out, completely.

"What--no--!" I looked at him, horrified at his cruelty. "Is that payback?"

"I regret nothing," he threw at me mockingly. I tried to wiggle down but he kept me trapped up in his arms. "Hold me or your will fall," he warned me, pulling us both back from the wall and walking with me back to the tub, gently setting me down in the hot water. _Ooooooh._

And there he did bad things to me.

Unspeakable things. 

Things that made me crazy.

*

I woke up to Maitimo slipping inside me, the sun hitting me directly in the eyes. It was a foggy day but only half the building was fogged up, the upper half, where we were, was sunny. So now it was a sea of white cloud. The pleasure that I felt with Maitimo, waking up to the sensation and the view, was enough for my eyes to flutter closed in prayer--I didn't want this moment to end. He even lubed up. We never lubed up in the tub last night. But we did lube up in bed. This time Maitimo was prepared. 

"Good morning to you too," I smiled at him when we were finished. He was lying, his head between my breasts and his hand stroking my sides. His stump was next to my shoulder. Where was the other half of his body? Was it hanging off the bed? I mean, it was huge. I am pretty sure it was a double king size. "A lovely morning."

"Hmmm," he muttered, giving my nipple a hard suck, laving it with his tongue, before blowing cool air over it. I hissed at the sensation, shifting. "I was waiting for you to wake up."

"I woke up alright," I scoffed. "Not a bad way to wake up, if I am being honest."

"I'll do it more often then," he promised me and my stomach lurched at the promise. I shifted when I felt myself leak from below. He always finished inside me. I didn't mind since he said he was infertile and it felt good for some reason. Afterwards felt sticky. I slowly shifted off the bed, careful to keep my legs firmly shut so that I don't leak everywhere. I walked to the washroom, glancing behind me. Maitimo now flipped himself on his back, watching me walk to the washroom, his gaze heated and a tent in the covers rising. I looked away, flushing with pleasure and a little bit of pride. Someone like me inspires lust in someone like him? Crazy thought. Just as I was about to close the door, Maitimo came in wrapping one arm around me and bringing his head down for a scorching kiss that lasted almost ten seconds. 

"One more time," he promised me, maneuvering so that I was sitting on his lap where as he was sitting on the toilet seat. Despite the fact that I felt raw below from our activities last night, I still complied because why not? I wanted this.

Might as well go all the way in. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Auntie, Uncle," I took in a deep breath. "Paulo, Jolie, meet Maitimo."

I stepped aside, letting Maitimo duck in through the door. Everyone seemed to physically recoil from Maitimo. I didn't blame them. He was uncommonly tall and the muscle that he had on him made him even more intimidating. Not to mention his scars, running through his face and his amputation. He looked like a warlord. The term was starting to make sense and I began to associate it with him.

"Pleasure," Maitimo bowed to them.

"My daughter," my auntie said in portuguese, and then switching to English. "This boy, he save you, yes?"

"Yes," I nodded. I know that they remembered him from that time that Andrew broke into my apartment. "We met up a few times after that and decided to take it further." This I said in portuguese, knowing that they might not be able to translate it properly in their minds.

"You are tall, sir," Paulo observed. 

"Yes," Maitimo cleared his throat. "My parents were tall."

"What do you do for work?" My uncle asked him and I looked nervously at Maitimo. I wanted him to say anything but 'warlord'. No one was a warlord in America. That was an outdated term. Corrupt leader? Maybe more applicable in modern times. But Maitimo was neither corrupt nor cruel from what I know of him...I hope.

Maitimo straightened, "I am a goldsmith."

Both my parents stared at him. Goldsmith? In New York?

"You come here all of a sudden?" My aunt asked him, seeming suspicious. "How do you climb buildings?"

"I like to climb," he said smoothly. "My cousin does it for a living, I join him sometimes."

Ok, believable so far...I was so nervous that Maitimo was meeting the proxy of my parents. He never objected to meeting them, even making me instigate the meeting. I wasn't sure why. Was he that serious? I would be lying to myself if I said that I never considered this relationship in the short term since Maitimo never refuted any comments where he said his presence is temporary. 

"Ah," my aunt nodded.

*

The dinner went surprisingly well. Maitimo was charming to my family, even though he didn't try very hard. i think they were just charmed by his appearance so everything was incredibly smooth. Afterwards, I could hear my uncle and aunt speaking in portuguese: "He is using your niece, my love. She is not pretty enough for him! He is trying to have sex with her only!"

That was my uncle. I could feel my face sour, but I kept on my smile because Jolie was cooing in my face and next to me, on the kitchen table, was Maitimo and Paulo, who were both playing a board game. I also did consider that a possibility. It wasn't out of the realm of possibilities. Maitimo was just plain perfection. I had to be the most imperfect person there was and my insecurity made me ugly. So despite Maitimo's assurances and his exquisite attention, even this, I couldn't help but think of the possibility. Besides, I was getting something out of this relationship anyways; amazing sex and the opportunity to show that I can snatch a man of high standards, even if it was dubious. On a less morally questionable note, he was also a pretty good protector if I do say so myself. What did I offer him? I had no clue.

So I guess in a way, we were using each other, neither of us knowing the true intentions of one another. I glanced wearily to see if Paulo was aware of what his uncle was saying, but Paulo was too busy being distracted by Maitimo to do anything else. 

"Why can't you believe that she is good enough for anyone?" My aunt hissed back. "She is a smart and beautiful woman--"

"Fat and fit don't work together, Tua," my uncle said dryly. "He will be sick and disgusted by the way she looks. He is white. White people don't appreciate fat girls like we do. He is using her--what will your brother say when she comes home pregnant after he leaves her?"

"Fidel! That won't happen," my aunt said with determination. "She is a sensible girl. She won't let something like this happen. She still has a whole career ahead of her."

The thought of being pregnant and abandoned before I've even begun my Master's was a sobering thought. All this raw sex, despite Maitimo's claim of infertility, made me queasy. Yea it felt amazing to do it raw and for him to finish inside me--as weird as that may be--but infertility can be questionable sometimes. And I couldn't be sure anymore. Listening to all this talk from my aunt and uncle made me distrust Maitimo even more. My aunt was right, I was too smart to fool around like this. And so was my uncle. I wasn't perfect enough to live an illusion of a happy relationship with a demigod like Maitimo. His perfection exceeded their comprehension, and mine. But I was also not ready to give up on doing something that I liked to do.

"Speak to her," my uncle commanded my aunt. "She needs to see sense, or at least be aware of it."

"Why do you care all of a sudden?"

"Because you lost an opportunity for a better education after that bastard left you with a child--do you want that to happen to her as well? She has a lot of potential, Tua--don't look at me like that. You know I am right. It doesn't make you wrong," I never heard my uncle speak like this, or advocate for me like this. I was touched by his good intentions towards me, even if he was insulting about it. 

I knew the story of why my aunt and uncle moved to America. My aunt was seeing a man for a while. He left her after he found out she was pregnant. So my uncle, our servant's son at the time, married her. The stigma of a middle-class woman marrying a lower-class man and leaving her education unfinished for the sake of a child was too much for my aunt to handle so they moved here. My uncle was not inherently bad, he just annoyed me sometimes. 

"Cilla," Paulo told me, distracting me from staring blankly at Jolie's face. "Want to play? Maitimo needs help. He is bad at this game."

I smiled at Paulo, saying yes and moving to sit next to Maitimo after Setting Jolie down next to Paulo, between himself and Maitimo, who handed Jolie a small piece of candy for her to chew on. I felt my heart melt at the site, despite my mental fortifications against him. When he smiled, he had dimples, which is something I was surprised to not have noticed before. He was even more beautiful, despite the scars on his face. I looked back at the game. 

"I don't think I will be much help," I said after examining the progress. "I don't stand a chance against you Paulo."

It was true, he always beat me at it. "You can try," Paulo shrugged.

And both of us still lost. 

*

"Not tonight, Maitimo," I pouted, even though I really wanted to. Once everything was finished, he had come up to my room, giving me a scorching kiss. He had come to undo the buttons on my dress, where my breasts were bare beneath. I had taken my bra off at the first opportunity. I really wanted this. But the pending weight of my irresponsibility, and the lack of transparency between Maitimo and I made me try to put my foot down. "I--oh."

I threw my head back when his kisses trailed to my neck. I could feel his arms snake around me, lifting me and setting me on my kitchen counter. I put my hand on his chest in one last attempt to push him away. I needed a clear head for this and this man was dangerously addictive.

"Maitimo--do you have a condom?"

Maitimo pulled away, looking at me curiously. There was no guardedness in his eyes, which was a little assuring. I didn't want this to go down on me negatively. "All of a sudden?"

Just curiosity, not defensiveness. Good start? Hopefully.

"Yes," I nodded. "I don't want to do it raw like that...I am scared that maybe I might get pregnant--" I was stumbling over my words, flushing, terribly embarrassed. 

Maitimo looked at me before slowly nodding. "I see."

"I know you told me you are sterile but..."

"That is fine," Maitimo said smoothly. "It can be difficult to place such trust in the spoken word."

I flushed with guilt and remorse. His tone wasn't meant to shame me. It was meant to be understanding and I saw that. But I felt bad that he might think that I didn't believe him or trust him. "Maitimo, do you feel bad because I said that?"

"No," Maitimo said. "I understand your fears--I heard your aunt and uncle speak." I felt my jaw drop. He understood this whole time? I am embarrassed. 

"O-oh," I felt my eyes well up in tears. "Sorry you had to hear that," I croaked weakly, feeling my dignity crumble. I was absolutely humiliated.

"How do you speak Portuguese?" I asked him, "Why didn't you tell me you understood?"

"I recently began understanding," Maitimo said, watching me, letting his thumb stroke my cheekbone, which was wet with a stray tear. "I saw that you speak it so I learned a little on my own."

"You became that fluent? In a few months?"

"I learn differently," he said dismissively. "I understand your concerns. I understand why you might think that way or feel reluctant to trust me."

"Stop it," I whispered, trying to push him away. This was absolutely mortifying. 

"I don't care if you are fat or short or ugly or dumb!" I was those things, unfortunately. Did he not see that? "I don't care how you look or how you are," Maitimo snarled, gripping my flailing hands. "Do you think that if I was so perfect, that I couldn't have had any girl I wanted? I see how women look at me and yet I chose you. It would have been easier to sleep with any of them than it was with you. All of these factors and I still choose you. It was never a downgrade to be with someone like you, t make love to you, or hold you in your lowest moments. It was never a downgrade to protect you or to stand next to you."

"Why did you choose me?" I cried out at him, my heart melting at his words. But I needed to stay strong. I couldn't crack before he did. "Was I a pity project then?"

Maitimo recoiled, staring at me, a little betrayed. His words were making sense and I was terribly humiliated. I was just dying to know his intentions. 

"No," he said slowly. 

"You hated me in the beginning. Was this whole thing a project for revenge? Make me feel good for a few weeks and then fuck off and leave me heartbroken?"

Even I couldn't prepare myself for that.

"I never hated you," Maitimo said quietly, coming closer than ever, until our fronts were touching. I refused to look him in the face. "I treated you the way I did because I didn't know you. I didn't know if I could place a measure of trust in you. You haven't failed me yet."

"So this relationship is a way to keep me quiet?" My mind was desperately finding a way to catch on a lie.

"Why would I torment myself by fucking someone I dislike or don't find attractive?" he snarled at me. I recoiled because I never heard him this angry. "Why would I bother to put my effort and understanding on a person who I can't stand? The wars I fight are not emotional. I can't fight with emotions or play the game of politics. I faced down the Demons of Morgoth with all the hate in my heart. I do not hate lightly. I can never hate another person as I hate the ones that did this to me," he held up his amputated arm and when I looked up at his face, in shame and remorse, I was horrified to find that the black in his eyes was so blown, it was bleeding onto his face like spider veins. "You are not a complicated person, Priscilla. I can never hate you--or feel something remotely resembling the feeling. Nor can I toy with your emotions. I would be toying with mine as well if I were to do that!"

"Maitimo," I murmured, frightened now. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"Don't be," he snapped. "You are the only good thing that happened to me. You are the only thing I ever wanted for myself, not to share but to claim. I wasn't sure before but I am sure now. I want to be with you. Is that so hard to accept?"

It was a little hard to accept, for the reasons previously listed. Did he not have a happy childhood? Did he not have anything for himself? I wasn't much of a prize to be honest but I refrained from voicing those thoughts. My insecurity was the cause of all of this. I didn't know how to make his eyes return to normal. 

"All those camp followers I told you about? The men and women I had as lovers? I shared them, with either my cousins or my brothers," he murmured softly, his face still carved in stone. "All those scars from my body? I was tortured for centuries and left to hang like cured meat at the highest peak of Thangorodrim by my hand."

None of what he was saying was making sense. It was all brutal and fantastical. I watched him, frightened. Was he crazy? Who lived for centuries? Who could come out of being tortured for centuries being sane? The hand in question was his amputated one. 

"You are the one good thing in my life that can bear to understand me and not ask me to change," Maitimo said in guttural tones. 

"I don't even know your entire story to ask you to change," I snapped at him. "I know that you are a war criminal of some sorts but that is it. I don't ask you to change because I don't understand enough of you or your world to ask that of you. Your circumstances are unavoidable. But I am. You will leave me eventually--"

"I won't," he finally said. "If I ever leave this Earth, I am taking you with me."

I scoffed at him; "I have an entire life here. I am not dropping it to come with you."

Maitimo was silent for the longest time before clearing his throat. "I'll leave now. I am sorry this made you uncomfor--"

I pulled him back to me, making him face me. He paused, mid-word, staring at me. "I only care about you intentions towards me. If you are going to break my heart, don't let it be something as petty as revenge or disdain."

Maitimo slowly nodded. "I promise."

"I'll go buy condoms," I finally said as my truce. "Extra large?" My little attempt at a joke.

Matimo stared at me for a minute before shaking his head. "I have some," he finally said. "I figured that this was where it might go after the conversation with your family. I brought some just in case."

I was touched at his consideration. "I like it better without a condom," I finally admitted. 

"Hmm," he said nonchalantly, reaching into the pocket of his dress pants and pulling out a little box. I felt my heart stop. "I meant to give you this before but..."

"But what?" I frowned, wondering if it was because I soured the mood between us. 

"You kissed too well for your own good," he said and I burst into a short fit of laughter, relieved to have put this behind us for now.

"What is it?"

"A little bracelet," he said, unfolding the box and handing it to me. I opened it and I was surprised to find a bracelet, of the finest quality and make, obviously gold because it had a stamp on it.

"Maitimo," I was touched. "Maitimo--don't tell me you spent money on this. Maitimo it is absolutely lovely but--"

"It is my craftsmanship," Maitimo interrupted me and I looked at it again. It was a unique make, unlike that I had ever seen. The gold was molded in such a way that the body was a thin, interweaving braid and each end was the head of a lion on one end and a lioness on the other. The detail was notably fine, it was as if I was looking at a life-sized sculpture of a lion, molded to perfection, but had been down-sized to a small ornament on the head of a bracelet.

"That is amazing, Maitimo," I understood now when Fingon said that Maitimo's work could surpass that ring at the diamond exhibition. That ring did not hold a candle to this bracelet. It was in no way a simple bracelet. "You are absolutely talented."

"Thank you, Priscilla," Maitimo said softly, stroking my thigh. 

"I don't have anything to give you, Maitimo," I was absolutely disappointed. I couldn't afford a gift on this scale.

"You don't have to give me anything," Maitimo said, moving his hand from my thigh and tucking my hair behind my ears. I blushed, studying his face. The black in his eyes was now confined to his pupils and his eyes were back to green. I pressed my lips to his and reveled in the way he kissed me back.

"I know you are wearing a garter underneath your dress right now."

My jaw dropped. "How did you know?"

"I felt it just now," I blushed, embarrassed that I didn't think of that. I wasn't being purposely ignorant or naive, I was just, disappointingly enough, slow-witted. This whole time his hand has been doing things to me by just being on my thigh. "I also saw it when you sat down at the table, and when you are sitting here. It was practically squeezing your thigh," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes, as though supplicating for patience. I giggled nervously, looking down and lifting my skirt, embarrassed to find that he was right; when I sat down, the garter did squeeze my thigh. Skinny girls have it easy, they don't have to worry about a garter squeezing their thigh like that. I began to shimmy it down but his large hand stopped me, bringing it even further back up, holding it there with an almost-painful grip.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked me, scandalized. "Why would you take it off?"

"Well--I," I stuttered. Did he like that? I thought he didn't.

"I am planning to fuck you in it," he finally said when he saw that I was grasping for words. "Tell me now, do you want it with or without a condom?"

I thought about it. The whole thing with the condoms, now that I was recalling it, was a little uncalled for. I could just as easily take a Plan B pill and I had some blood testing recently done after I began my sexual relationship with Maitimo. I was clean and so was he (because he got it done soon after). 

"Without," I finally muttered shyly. "I'll just buy the Plan B then. And we are both clean."

"I'll buy it for you," Maitimo said. "I get the privilege of finishing inside of you. I'll buy it so that you don't have to worry."

"Alright," I flushed. "Thank you," I murmured, watching, hypnotized, as he spread my legs and lifted my dress until it was over my breasts, leaving me bare all over. "I'm sorry again for that--"

"Don't be," his eyes snapped to mine. "Nothing you say is stupid or thoughtless. Tell me everything--but please don't ever say that I mean to hurt you and gain all for myself between us."

"Ok," I nodded. 

"I am sorry as well," he finally said. "For scaring you."

"It's fine," I said. "But you gave me a lot more to ask about."

"I'll answer all your questions if you are still awake after this," Maitimo promised me, watching my hands undo his belt. We got a few moments, usually, when we were alone for me to ask him more about his world (or maybe the fantasy he created for himself). It was interesting to hear about the way he conjured up everything. I found myself believing him more often than not. It was easy to believe. Because I already had proof of those evil creatures he spoke about--orcs. It was how we had originally met. I wasn't saying that he was lying. I personally just had difficulty visualizing it. It sounded like a game-world for fantasy players.

But I couldn't think about that anymore. He was already stripping me down of my panties.

*

"I'm just gonna collect my last paycheck," I informed my aunt. "It'll be quick."

"I thought you quit?" she was confused.

"Yea," I nodded. "But the boss owes me one last paycheck and he is too cheap to mail it to me."

My aunt tsked with disapproval. "Terrible man--fat pork."

I snorted in the water I was drinking through my nose. I half coughed and half laughed before recomposing myself. She was not wrong, even if it was a little hypocritical of me to say that. "Maitimo is going to pick me up in a few. I should be back by then but if he comes, tell him I am running an errand and I will be back."

My aunt's gaze turned guarded. "Do you have sex with him?" I froze, watching my aunt. It was easier to lie and say I didn't. But I didn't want to give her my answer right away. I needed to be sure she won't tell my family. It didn't matter that I was almost twenty three. I still adhered to my parents. 

"Why are you asking me that?" I asked casually, shrugging on my vans. 

"I need to know," My aunt insisted. "Is he using a condom? Is he treating you right? Is he supporting you? Why is he with you?"

Ah yes, the talk that my uncle eluded too.

"What are you going to do with that information?" I asked defensively. "Are you going to tell my parents?"

My aunt shook her head. "I won't," she vowed. "I was once so curious. I understand. I need to know to guide you. I won't tell because your papa will bring you back home before you can finish your NCLEX. But you will tell him soon, yes?"

I regarded her, trying to weigh my options. Is that going to benefit me? I didn't see it benefitting me. but I didn't see it harming me either. The worst was a good talking too, especially from my aunt who was infinitely more open-minded than my father and uncle.

"I'll tell them," I assured here before pausing and continuing. "I am having sex with him," I finally settled on saying. "I don't use a condom because he is infertile. We get tested frequently, especially me for my work visa here. He buys me the Plan B pill. He is kind and considerate and he makes time for me, especially since he is so busy with work." What kind of work I have yet to find out. I wasn't really curious though. It would be confusing to try and understand his 'work'. "I don't know why he is with me. But he could have chose women who are far prettier than I am, who are richer than I am, who are smarter than I am, and who are thinner than I am. But he didn't. I chose him."

My aunt stared at me. "I don't mean to annoy you, my daughter. But you have to understand."

"I do," I nodded. "I understand and I appreciate this."

She nodded, seeming unconvinced. "I will tell him if you are late," she finally said. "Be safe."

"Ok," I nodded, waving at her. 

*

"Here," my dour faced, ex-manager said, handing me a measly slip of paper that had a coffee stain on it. 

"Can you rewrite the check please," I told him politely. "I can't submit this to the bank. It has coffee on it."

"Oh," he said, seeming surprised. Ok whatever. It wasn't the first time he did this and every time I had to make sure didn't do something suspicious with it. I learned to handle the cheques with gloves and warn the banker to clean their hands afterwards. "Yea, sure," he cleared his throat. I don't know why it took him as long as it did to rewrite me another check. But he wrote really slowly and it was painful to watch. Eventually, what should have been a thirty second exchange lasted over ten minutes and I was already late for Maitimo. I planned such a nice date too, even if it was on a budget.

"Thanks," I said anyways, taking the cheque from him and walking out of the convenience store for the last time. I'll be glad to never see it again.

"OOooohh," I could hear wolf whistles and I winced. I should have done this yesterday, when I was shabby. I had chosen to put on a head scarf today, even though it was warm out, just to hide my face, as well as glasses. I didn't want Big Jizz or any of those lowlifes tailing me. I wasn't sure if I was still on the hit list. It's been nearly a month since my last shift.

"You still gonna have his babies, eh mama?" I smelled the guy before I heard him to be honest and I picked up my pace. "I don't see a bump. All I see is the same ass and titties I'd like to fuck."

I gagged. And then someone yanked me back by my scarf. "Let go of me!" I shrieked, taking my keys and smacking my attacker straight in the face. It was Big Jizz and he was roaring with pain. One of my keys had stabbed him straight through the cheek. Good. I yanked back my keys and turned around quickly, making a run for it, the bloody keys in one hand, my cheque and bus pass in my bra, and already way ahead of him.

"Get this bitch!" I could hear him shrieking. "Get her! I want her FUUUUUUCCCCKKKEEDDD!"

I picked jumped in front of cars, across the road, trying to catch the bus ahead of me; "Wait!" I shrieked, glancing behind me to find a man gaining at me with the speed of a jaguar.I barely managed to dodge his flying attempt at capture before running again. My heart was nearly ready to drop. But all I needed now was to quickly evade--I should have asked Maitimo for a ride. What made me go alone? I already promised him not to do--

"Ouuwwaaahh!" I shrieked when I felt something hard smack me over the head. My vision went black.

*

I woke up sore all over, a horrible wetness trickling down my face. I was on cool concrete and I could hear men talking and laughing around me.

"I would have liked to wait till she woke up," one voice said, belching. 

"She is too fine to wait, lemme just get a taste of that fine ass--"

"Wait!" A loud voice shouted, "Do you guys hear that?"

A pause. No sound--wait, I hear it. It was a strange sound that sent a series of racking, painful chills down my body. It was high-pitched, manic screeches. Inhuman in nature. It was as if I was in a horror movie. I stirred, unable to feign dead any longer. That sound was more alarming than the men and when I saw their faces, I saw that they were all pale, their eyes wide with fear.

"What the fuck is that?" one guy muttered, there were at least three.

"I dunno," another guy said dumbly, his gaze turning to me. "She's awake now."

"She is not a concern now," another guy snapped. "The sound is getting closer."

I struggled to my feet. "We need to get out of here," I slurred, realizing why the sounds were so familiar. They were the same sounds that came out of those black things that came on that fateful night where I met Maitimo. "They are creatures of darkness--they'll kill us all." My speech was slurred and my vision was blurry. I felt my equilibrium spin.

"What the fuck are you saying?" one man asked, looking horrified.

"RUN!" I shrieked, just as a hammer cleaved the man's head clean in half. Everyone around me creaked out and so did I, for a short moment. It was Maitimo. He was wearing all black, his hair in a pony tail and his expression murderous. He yanked a guy by his hook through his shoulder, throwing him to the ground and ripping out the hammer off the other guy's head, bringing it down on the fallen man's face, crushing it. I was screaming the entire time, in horror. 

Maitimo was slaughtering actual human beings. His eyes were so black, the black veins spilled onto his face and his pale skin was so pale it glew in the soft fire light. He looked like an angel of death, dressed in black, holding a bloody cleaving hammer and a hook instead of a hand. His black gaze was fiercely following the remaining man who was running away--I recognized the man as Big Jizz. I looked back at Maitimo, opening my mouth to stop him but it was too late. in an instant, Maitimo yanked back his hammer, and with one expert flex of his arm, the hammer cracked Big Jizz's steadily moving skull in half, embedding in the wall in front of Big Jizz, that was a fair distance away, leaving a terrible crack in the cement. 

It all happened so fast, it only took less than five minute for Maitimo to annihilate every single man in this room with a hammer. 

I was whimpering, scared out of my mind and in so much pain. "Maitimo--why did you do this?" I groaned, sobbing at the pain and what I just witnessed. I was in love with a cold-blooded murderer.

Maitimo said nothing. But I could feel his black, menacing presence come closer to me. I felt his hands, as gentle as if he was handling precious cargo, gather me in his arms and lift me up. He pressed a kiss to my forehead but I was frozen in fear. I was going to die, right here and right now. If not now, another time when I did something that displeased him and he decided that I outlived my charm. He killed without remorse. 

"They're coming," I groaned when I heard the shrill shriek of the orcs get closer.

"Stay here and don't leave until I come get you," Maitimo said softly, tucking me in the storage of an abandoned truck, pulling the lid over it and locking it. "I will come back and get you. I promise."

"Maitimo don't leave me here!" I begged, slamming my fists on the door, the darkness and confined space making me go crazy. "Maitimo please."

I didn't hear him from the other side, but all of a sudden, the screams were so close to me that I shrieked myself. And then that is where all the sound of violence began. More screaming, more slicing, more painful skin hits. I don't know who was getting hit but it seemed to never end. I was so afraid out of my mind that I began to sob until I thought the headache would cleave through my skull like Maitimo did to those men. And then I fainted.

*

I woke up again, still in the box. How long was I out for? Did he forget about me? I had the terrible, gnawing feeling that he did. I had what had to be the worst migraine of my life which was concerning because I might have had a concussion and for all I knew I might be getting an edema in my brain. I choked on my fear. I slowed my breathing to listen--nothing. Nothing was happening. I was stuffy and sweaty. "Maitimo?" I mewled, unable to maneuver my feet to kick off the lid. 

"Maitimo," I mewled again, now getting terrified. Was he killed? I struggled to get my phone from my back pocket. "Maitimo!" I screamed crying because that alone made me see white stars in the darkness. Pain, pain, pain.

I slowly managed to find my phone and to my utter horror--my phone was dead. I burst into tears of despair. I felt a bubbling hatred for Maitimo. Why did he do this to me? Why would he traumatize me like that? Today was a terrible day. It all started because I went to collect a cheque without having someone by my side even though Maitimo told me not to do that. It was too late to cry over spilt milk now. I was stuck in the storage box of an abandoned truck.

"Help!" I screamed out, "Somebody help me!"

Was this how I was going to die--

The lid was lousily removed from above me and the gush of cool hair fell on me. Directly in my face was Maitimo, sporting a bruised jaw. I felt all my fears and anger melt away. He had come back. I was never more glad to see someone.

"Maitimo," I whimpered, letting him press a kiss to my mouth as though to greet me. "I want to get up and out of here." 

Maitimo helped me, holding my hand as I struggled out of the box. The moment my feet were safely on the ground, Maitimo was wrapped around me, hugging me so tightly, my feet lifted off the ground. I could feel his face in my neck, and I felt and heard him inhale, tickling my neck.

"Maitimo," I groaned, "I'm sore."

Maitimo set me down gently, still not taking his arms off from around me. Now that we were in the dim lamp light of the abandoned street around me, I saw that there were tears across his black shirt, with open wounds bleeding. But I wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily.

"Maitimo why did you kill those men?" I asked him quietly, wincing at the memory of it. "Maitimo why did you murder them?"

Maitimo watched me, his gaze growing cold. "I don't think you realize what I would do for you."

I flinched, that sounded ominous. "I don't need you to kill people for me, Maitimo."

"How were you going to guarantee that they would have let you out alive after you stabbed that --- through the cheek?" he said a weird word in his language. I wasn't sure what it meant, but it sounded absolutely profane.

"I--" I recoiled, losing balance. "I don't know. But I wouldn't go around killing people."

Maitimo watched me even more intensely, unblinking. "I won't just kill for you. The moment you and I commited to one another, you became mine, just as I became yours. I will burn cities just to keep you safe."

_Red flags._

_Red flags._

_Red flags._

I was absolutely terrified now. "Please don't. We aren't like that. I am not married to you. Even so, I am happy just to have you with me by my side. Just having you with me is enough for me."

It was infinitely scarier now, to have someone like Maitimo by my side. 

"Not anymore," he said quietly, preceptively. I felt my breath catch. He knew. How was this going to end now with this knowledge? I never imagined myself to be the subject of one's complete desire or obsession, so deadly and fantastical in nature. I grew up as an unnattractive child. I eventually became pretty in an unconventional manner but I always imagined myself with a man, not passionate about me, coexisting peacefully, with maybe a child or too. Not this. 

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, "I don't know what to tell you. We are so different. I will try to be more understanding. This was all my fault anyways, I went out to this area without you."

"You did," he agreed, his voice resigned. He slowly sat down on the step of the truck before me. My gaze slid to his long black hammer, slick with some black substance. Not blood. "I will not lay blame on you for my actions. They were mine alone. But I will not regret them. Seeing you safe and unmolested brings me relief. They will never harm you again."

"Why did you kill them and not Andrew?" I asked him, feeling a little dizzy so coming to kneel down in front of him. 

"Their deaths wouldn't have been noted," Maitimo scoffed disdainfully. "I have tracked their movements for the past three weeks, ever since they came under my radar. They have abandoned all those whom they loved for the sake of their malicious ways. They would have eventually gotten out and relapsed into their same old lifestyles, nothing will have changed. But Andrew is different. Andrew is someone of note. Exposing him for his crimes would have been more satisfactory than it would have been to kill him."

"Investigations happen, Maitimo," I sighed, resigned. "Eventually their disappearance will be noted and investigations will happen. You and I can't come out of this one."

The reality of it hit me and I began crying. 

"You won't have to worry about that," Maitimo shook his head. "I have taken care of the crime scene."

Great, I just aided and abetted a crime and disposal of evidence. Fucking great. "How?"

"I have my own ways. You won't believe me and I won't tell you just yet until I am sure it is safe to do so," Maitimo said. "My actions aren't thoughtless."

"How can I sleep at night," I muttered in a thick voice, "Knowing that all of this happened because of me?"

"You did nothing wrong. You shouldn't have had to worry about such dangers,"Maitimo murmured, rubbing the bridge of his nose, as though in frustration, "Especially in a time and place like this."

What does he mean? This happens all the time.

"What do you mean," I asked him. 

"My world is different than yours," Maitimo muttered. "Anything is possible in war."

"DId you ever do something like that?" I asked him slowly, scared of the answer. Maitimo looked at me, offended. 

"No," he said slowly. "I never had to try too hard to charm anyone. They came to me and I took what was freely given, and gave kindly in return."

"Sometimes people hide their displeasure," I said, remembering the time that I had sex with my first boyfriend and hated every second of it. But I never showed it because I just wanted it to be over with and he was trying so hard to make it good for me.

"Ha," Maitimo scoffed. "Not to sound arrogant, but I never had to use lube. Foreplay is my thing," he told me, giving me a saccharine smirk. I scoffed, slightly disbelieving. THis talk was easing the tension so I let it continue. I needed to unravel from this. I needed everything to go back to normal. I understood his perspective now that I wasn't scared out of my mind and his eyes weren't pitch black all over. I didn't approve or even fully understand, but I understood enough to let it be. I couldn't do anything now, and he did it for me with the best of intentions. The potential consequences scared me, but not Maitimo. Not right now.

"Thank you for saving me," I finally said. "I was so useless to you."

"You still managed to stab that bastard in the cheek," Maitimo scoffed, "With your keys," he held up the bundle of keys, full of blood. I laughed, shocked that I never thought of this. "No small feat if I do say so myself."

"Is that how you found me?"

"Yes," Maitimo said grimly. "I tracked you down."

"Huh," I said, faintly impressed, accepting the keys. Blood was all dried up now, ew. "How is your jaw?"

"Nothing that won't heal in a few hours," Maitimo said, holding out his hand and helping me up, tugging me closer to him so that I was standing between his legs. "Don't stop trying," he murmured. "Be patient with me. In the end, it will all be worth it."

I stayed silent, contemplating on whether I should. He was always there to protect me...what if he one day fails?

"Will you protect me?" I asked him slowly. 

"Always," he said fiercely, looking me in the eyed. While he was sitting down and I was standing up, he was only a little shorter than I was, but still almost at eye level. "You have my sword, my body, and my devotion to you. I only ask that you repay me in kind."

"I can't fight like you," I said apologetically. "But I can always heal you."

"All I ask," he insisted.

"Then I will be patient with you," I finally said. "And you have my..."

 _Love_. The weird word. He did things and said things that made me believe that his feelings for me were stronger than I had originally imagined. He made me feel as though we were married together by an unbreakable force. The strength of his emotions made me uncomfortable. Was it love he felt for me? The type that made people do crazy things? Or was it the love that one gives to their favourite food or their favourite movie?

I already knew. He demonstrated his love for me countless times. It was the love that made people do crazy things. But in his case, it made him kill people.

"Don't say that you love me now," Maitimo rebuked me gently, pressing a soft kiss to my lips and bringing me so close to him, my torso was flattened against his.. "You don't. You are unsure of what you feel for me. I only need you to try to love me."

"Alright," I nodded. "I can do that." It wasn't a lie. "Our date was ruined," I finally settled on changing the subject, stepping back when he stood up, holding my hand. 

"It's fine," Maitimo said. I lamely pulled out two movie tickets that I had purchased the night before. "I guess these are useless now. I really wanted to see the movie with you. I thought you would like it."

"I like anything you do for me," Maitimo said, holding my hand and leading me outside of the half-built building complex we were in. Outside the walls was his black sedan, unscratched. "You drove here?"

"It's the place they frequented for their drug dens," Maitimo said. "It was my first geuss to come here."

"You really did follow their trail," I scoffed, even more impressed. He tailed them for so long because of me? "Thank you, can we stop somewhere with a washroom first? I can't go into my apartment looking like this. My aunt will probably be expecting me."

"I told your aunt not to expect you tonight," Maitimo said smoothly and I looked at him, horrified. I know I told her that we had sex but really? That was so...embarrassing. 

"What did she say?"

"To keep you safe and to make sure I pull out," Maitimo smirked. 

I groaned, horrified. Knowing my aunt, she probably did say that. "God, why?"

Maitimo chuckled, making a few turns and for the longest while we drove. I eventually took a nap and when I woke up, Maitimo was still driving. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital," he said, glancing at me and then back at the road. I fell back a sleep. I can't afford to go to the hospital. I couldn't say that though. I was blacked out.

The next time I woke up, Maitimo was kneeling next to me on the ground, the car door open next to me, he was undoing my belt. "I can do that," I slurred, pushing his hand away and doing that, moving to get off the car and then my body, as if it was a lagging machine, just shut down. The moment I stood up, my knees collapsed and I crumpled against Maitimo's chest.

"Maitimo," I whimpered, "I'm hurting so much."

"In a few, Cila," he smelled different. When I pulled away, I saw that he changed his clothes and the bruise forming on his jaw was half-way faded. 

"I can't afford a hospital," I hiccuped. "Gimme a tylenol and I'll go to sleep."

"You should know better, nurse," he tsked. "Don't worry about anything. We'll get you fixed."

He lifted me, like a doll, and into the brightly lit entrance we walked.

"Sir, you can't park there," a voice said.

"I need to take this woman into the emergency," Maitimo said. "Her name is Priscilla Timos, she received blunt trauma to her head. Get her in there and I'll go park my car."

"Here," a woman's voice said. "Take this wheel chair, set her in it."

"No," I slurred, holding on to Maitimo as he gently set me in the chair. I felt tears stream down my face. "Don't leave."

"I'll be right there, how do I find her?"

"Does she have ID on her?" The woman asked as I was wheeled into the reception area. 

"Yes," Maitimo said and there was a brief exchange. 

"What is your relation to her?"

"I am her husband," Maitimo said and I winced when a spasm burned through my head.

"Does she have some sort of medical insurance?"

"I'll be paying out of pocket," Maitimo said. I wanted to scream at Maitimo that I won't let him. But my mouth wouldn't move. 

"I'll give the ID to the receptionist, she will file her information in. She should be set up by the time you come back, it's severe enough to warrant immediate treatment," the woman was explaining. "The receptionist will tell you where to find her."

"How long will it be?"

"I can't promise you a time-frame. It might be a couple of hours, there is a bunch of scans that we have to do before she can receive definitive treatment," the nurse said. 

"I'll be back," Maitimo promised, leaning down and pressing a kiss to one closed eye lid of mine. My eyes fluttered open and I saw him in front of me. 

"You will have to come back anyways to tell us what happened," the woman said.

"Of course," Maitimo said.

*

"How are you feeling?" Maitimo asked me the next morning, sitting down next to me on the hospital bed.

"Better," I groaned, watching the IV bag drip into the buterol. "Bored."

"I know, my love," he murmured, pressing a kiss to where my bruise was on my forehead. I blushed, aware that there were patients in the room as well.

"I got showered this morning," I said, sniffing myself. "Their soap smells weird," I commented uselessly. "I should be discharged for bed rest soon."

"Hmm, I brought you some delicious food," he said, drawing the curtains shut and bringing up a lunch box filled with delicious foods. Oh my goodness. Yes. I had a hard boiled egg and a fruit cup this morning, which were really unsatisfactory now that I think on it and can I just say...fuck yes?

"Thank you," I said, accepting another kiss from him. It was a really long kiss and we pulled away, ten seconds before the nurse entered.

"Ooh," the nurse said, "Nice breakfast your husband got you," she said, checking the IV drip. 

I gave Maitimo a confused glance but he gave me a 'go with it' look. "Yes," Maitimo said. "My cousin cooked it for her."

"Which one?" I asked, thinking there is no way it was Fingon.

"Finrod," he told me. I had no idea who that was. "He is more inclined for the culinary arts." Maitimo said, setting up the food. 

"Can we have an extra spoon?" I asked the nurse apologetically and she gave me a sweet smile, "Of course. But before, can I just take your vitals real quick?"

"Yes, of course," I said, pushing the table away and pushing the bed up in a sitting position. 

"Sorry, normally we don't do that during visitations, but since you are about to eat, I want to take a quick measurement," the nurse said and I nodded in understanding. Best time to take vitals is before mealtimes. 

"Thanks," I said anyways.

"Husband, if you can please step outside for a second," the nurse said and Maitimo nodded agreeably, rising up and walking out.

"Do you need help?" the nurse asked me?

"No," I said, knowing what she was asking about. The amount of time I asked my patients that is astronomical.

"Does your partner abuse you in any way?"

"No," I shook my head. "No, he is so good to me. He protects me."

It was true. He didn't even need to say it. His actions spoke volumes and I was not soon to forget the events of last night.

The nurse nodded, taking my vitals and walking out. A moment later, Maitimo came in with an unsealed water bottle in his hand. He handed it to me and I thanked him, realizing I was parched. 

"Did you hear what the nurse asked?" I asked him quietly, leaning on his shoulder because he sat so close to me, careful not to step on any wires. 

"Yes," Maitimo said stiffly.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes."

"Good," I said. "Let it always be that way."

He murmured a phrase in his strange language before handing me a spoon. A second later the nurse came in, handing me another spoon and walking away.

"This is all for you."

"I already had breakfast," I said. "So I won't be able to eat all of this alone. Share with me."

Maitimo nodded and I shimmied aside on the bed to make space for him, not that we both could have fit. But he managed to have some space to lean his elbo on the bed, tall as he was.

"Finrod made this?"

"Yes," Maitimo said. "He is the gentlest of all my cousins. Though I could not tell if it is from pure foolishness or genuine kindness."

"Kindness is never foolish," I gave him a reproving look. "Tell him I am really grateful for this."

"You will get to meet some of my cousins soon."

"Where are the rest?"

"Not here," he said, and I guess that meant not on Earth.

"In the other..." I made a spherical gesture and he gave me a droll look

"If you mean dimension, then yes, along with the rest of my brothers," he said, casually setting his stump on my thigh and squeezing. Ok, that made me drop my spoon for a second.

"Whoops," I said, blushing, "Clumsy."

"Hmm," Maitimo said with a smirk, returning his stump back on my thigh. Jesus did this guy not realize we were in a hospital? I was ready to rip this guys pants off. The bruise on his jaw as completely healed and I was certain the cuts on his chest were too. He healed with unnatural rapidness. Must be nice. My concussion might last for months if I am lucky.

In the lunch box was what I saw on those Japanese Bento videos that I binge watched. It was all really pretty. There was rice, and...chicken nuggets? And eggs that looked like little rabbits.

"I'm scared to eat this," I said. "It's so pretty."

"Eat it," Maitimo insisted, feeding me some rice. 

"It's good," I said, and it really was. No flavours were over pronounced. "He is really good."

"I am glad," Maitimo said, setting the spoon in my hand and watching me eat a little more before taking a few bites himself.

By the time it was 2 O'clock, I was discharged in a wheelchair.


	7. Chapter 7

I kept getting headaches, and Maitimo didn't let me sleep for more than two hours before waking me up to make me drink water or do something irrelevant for fifteen minutes before letting me sleep again. After he had delivered me back to safety in my own apartment and greeted my family.

"You seem tired, my daughter," My aunt observed. "Yes," I nodded, "We went hiking." My uncle scoffed incredulously. I didn't blame him. Hiking was not something I would call a favorite pastime of mine. I only commuted to where I needed and even then I hated it. 

"Yes," Maitimo said grimly, playing along. "We cooked lunch afterwards."

"What about dinner? It is almost nine?"

"I wasn't hungry," I shook my head. "We had a big lunch."

"Can you help me with homework?" Paulo asked me and I winced. I had a glaring headache. I didn't want to do anything but sleep. However, I didn't want to refuse Paulo. Before Maitimo could interject I spoke.

"Of course, Paulo," I crooned, "I will come to you. I will be quick because I am a little tired today, ok?"

"Ok," Paulo said. 

"I know you are a good learner," I told him, holding out my hand and letting him take it. 

"Hi Maitimo," Paulo said, waving at Maitimo, who smiled back. "Nice hook."

Oh, shit. Maitimo forgot to change his accessory. I winced. 

"Yea," Maitimo said. "It helps me grip the trees when I am walking. It is more useful than my hand."

"How did you lose it?" Totally innocent question. But both my aunt and uncle snapped at Paulo for his rudeness in Portuguese. 

"I don't mind," Maitimo interjected smoothly before my aunt could raise her spatula. "I was in the army. I got this injury there."

"Cool," Paulo said. "I need to go pee."

Maitimo said his goodbyes to Paulo and my aunt and uncle, giving his greetings to Joyce, before going downstairs again. 

The best thing about Paulo was that he truly was a great student. He was silent and dedicated and he picked up explanations like people pick up the common cold. I absolutely loved teaching him. He was a pleasure to teach and as I was doing this, I felt my headache going away and what I thought would take a fifteen minute explanation, spanned over an hour. It was relaxing to teach Paulo. 

"I'd better go," I said, getting up and then falling back on my chair, dizziness overtaking me and my headache coming back at full force. Ouchie.

"I can help you back," Paulo offered and I shook my head, knowing that Maitimo might be in the room, waiting for me.

"No it is alright, I just need a minute," I said, taking a deep breath and forcing my world to stop spinning. I shuffled back to my apartment after drinking a quick glass of water and filling up a couple of large bottles for myself. When I walked back into the apartment, I saw that my bed was made and there was a small sandwich, nicely made and well-presented, sitting on a plate on the kitchen table. 

"Maitimo?" I asked hesitantly. Maitimo stepped out of the my bathroom, his hair braided back and his feet bare, hot. I undid my little jacket, taking out the cheque that was surprisingly untouched. "I'm going to deposit this at my bank."

"Now?" he asked me, severe displeasure in his gaze. 

"Through my phone, online deposit," I said and Maitimo nodded understandingly. I did just that before ripping up the cheque. 

"Did you clean a bit?" I asked him, feeling grateful that he did so.

"A little," Maitimo said, sitting on the chair and pulling me on his lap and handing me a sandwich half, which I nibbled on. It was a miracle the chair didn't fall. I already knew this man was incredibly heavy by his sheer size alone. I still loved being held by him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed a few kisses on his jaw where his bruising was. 

"Thank you, _amore_ ," I murmured, finishing the last of my sandwich and the rest I put away in the fridge right next to us.

"Not babe?" He asked me. I thought about it.

"No, you can call me that," I said, smiling at him. "I felt bad to see you struggle with a name for me."

"I have another name for you," Maitimo said. " _Amenalith_."

" _Amenalith_?" I repeated. "Too long, what does it mean?"

"It is an intimate meaning," he murmured, squeezing my thigh, almost painfully, tucking his hand between and stroking me through my jeans. That alone set me on fire. "Similar to _amore_."

"Okie," I said, smiling at him, making a weird sound when he made a particularly hard stroke. "I'll take it."

"Let's get you to bed," he murmured, giving me a scorching kiss. "To sleep."

I chuckled, drowsily getting up. "I'm too hot to keep my clothes on. Look away ok?"

It was one of the hottest days of the spring solstice.

"I'll help you," he insisted. 

"Ok," I was too tired to argue. I began shimmying down my jeans but got too dizzy to go down further. That is where Maitimo came in. He helped me take off my jeans and panties, gently tossing them in the hamper. Then it was my shirt and bra. They haven't been washed since yesterday and I never did change into a hospital gown so I probably stank everywhere. However, I did shower at the hospital which was a small mercy. "Thank you," I whispered gently, wrapping my arms around him as he slowly got up. 

"Do you need to leave now?" I asked. "Can I snuggle with you--oh, wait, I'm naked. I can find a bathrobe."

"Don't," Maitimo interrupted. "I can stay. I don't mind that you are naked. Go to the washroom and freshen up before bed."

"Alright," I went into the washroom with a cup of water. Laid out was a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a few skin creams that I used for my nightly routine. Awww...Maitimo was so considerate of me. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was so close to breaking up with him yesterday...Why was I so stupid? Why can't I appreciate this properly?

 _He killed people_ , a little voice in my head reminded me.

 _To protect me_ , I shot back. 

Once I was finished with my nightly routine, I turned around and walked to the mattress where Maitimo was lying on the edge, his shirt and pants off, leaving him in a pair of boxers and a white undershirt. He patted the spot next to him and I hurried, nearly flopping next to him. He pulled to covers over us and hugged me to him.

*

I woke up to a burning need below and Maitimo's had rolling, stretching, playing with my nipple. I moaned softly when I shifted. I was overly hot now. He was ridiculously warm and he was doing things to me that were making me warmer. "Shh..." he murmured softly, giving my breast a light squeeze and letting his hand settle on my waist. "Go back to sleep, sorry."

"Ok," I sighed, doing just that. 

I woke up again in the night, Maitimo tucking the blankets around me more securely. I shuffled, turning to face him and throwing one leg over his hip, feeling his hardness against his center. If I had the energy, I would relieve him. But alas I found myself falling asleep before I could shift away from him.

It was morning now and I was feeling more refreshed but still lethargic. The good thing was that my headache receded significantly. I sat up in bed, noticing a glass of water on the night stand next to the bed. I reached up for it, gratefully taking it and drinking it. Maitimo entered the room again, his hard-on evidently missing. Am I disappointed? Yes. Did I want to re-instigate? Yes. What was stopping me? I was terrified that the effects of my concussion would make me a lousy lay. 

"Maitimo," I said, lifting my gaze to his eyes, which held amusement there. 

"Yes," he said slowly, watching me struggle to my feet and then I realized I was naked. I lifted my covers and covered myself.

"Good morning," I said, slowly gathering some fresh clothes and walking into the washroom.

"You need help?"

"No, thank you though," I said, giving him a close-mouthed kiss on his lips. 

I walked into the washroom and closed the door, letting my cover fall and my jaw with it.

Bruises. But this time, hand marks. Large ones. There was one hand print on the inside of my upper thigh, and opposite to it, a hand print right underneath my waist. My nipples were both swollen and there was bruising on my breast. I bruised so easily apparently. It wasn't force on Maitimo's part. I don't remember him holding me so painfully tight anywhere. He was absolutely gentle with me. But I remember his hands just gripping me and then loosening, gripping and then loosening. The repetitiveness of the action caused me to bruise where he held me. It alarmed me to see those bruises but it also did things to me. He spent the whole night, while I was sleeping on him, just wrapped around me and holding me in all those intimate places? I felt...gorgeous? Was that the word? Whatever it was, it made me feel revived and good. I quickly brushed my teeth and fluffed my hair, plucking all my unnecessary facial hairs. I quickly used wet wipes to wipe where was needed and then I turned around and took a deep breath, gathering my covers around me again.

"Maitimo?" I called hesitantly as I walked out of the bathroom. 

"I am in here," Maitimo said from my bedroom. I walked in and saw that he was observing the cardboard that I had up on my window as makeshift curtains. So ghetto. 

"Maitimo," I said, gently this time, almost a whisper. He turned around and I could physically hear his breath hitch. He looked me up and down, stark naked. His gaze focused on where he left his marks. 

"I didn't realize," he said apologetically, but his gaze told me differently. His eyes turned black.

"It's fine," I said, walking closer to him and reaching for him. The moment I had my hands on him, I let my hands trail where I wanted them to be. Him and his member were both stiff as rocks. I rubbed my entire body against his and gently pushed down his boxers. "I want you, inside me. Please?"

I never heard his answer to my question, but before I could blink, I was up high against the wall, with his lips on mine, and his arms cradling me against him. I felt him against me and cried out with impatience.

"Inside, amore," I breathed, "Not against."

"I won't go into you like that," Maitimo shook his head. "I'll hurt you."

 _But I want it to hurt_ , I whined mentally. I didn't say it outloud because I wasn't sure I could handle such intimate pain at a time like this. Maybe when I was healthier and more fully recovered, I could. But right now, I was in a precarious play with my pain management. Maitimo gently knelt with me in his arms. I was then flat on my back, watching him take off his shirt in that ovary-incarcerating way of his. I tried to sit up to kiss him, spreading my legs further in the process but he held me back down, taking his shirt and before I could remove my hands, he had them up, tying them expertly with his shirt.

"I'll lead," he warned me, holding my tied hands above my head.

"But I want to touch you!" I whined, trying to wiggle but they seemed to get tighter. 

"Don't bother, I tie my prisoners like this when they misbehave," Maitimo said dryly, letting one hand cup a breast, my unbruised one. My jaw dropped. He had prisoners? "The can never get out of it."

"When you were a warlord?"

"Yes," he said curtly.

"I'm not your prisoner, right?" I asked him hesitantly, trying to make it seem flirtatious. My brain was being overly cautious at the worst times.

"No," he scoffed, giving me that dimpled, crooked smirk of his. "You are my impatient lover who doesn't realize the dangerous extent of her sexual prowess."

I flushed, giving him a shy, thankful smile. Compliments like this during sex made me believe him. No one complimented someone life that--it was so specific it would be difficult to come up with a compliment like that as a lie.

"Maitimo you make me feel so good," I cooed, wrapping my legs around his waist. "You don't even have to touch me."

Maitimo smiled at me gently, leaning down and kissing me. "Move in with me."

I blinked, "What?"

"Move in with me," he repeated. 

"Can we talk about this after?" I asked him hesitantly. The question didn't put a damper on my mood but it was a question that required thought. I never put much thought into moving away because I wasn't financially able to. My circumstances didn't allow it as well. I needed to pass my NCLEX first and make a work visa to begin working at the hospital. For that I needed a stable address and I can't afford to move away now when my NCLEX was going to take a huge chunk of my money alone. I needed to study and work to support myself through the study period, and save up for the exam. 

"After," he agreed. "Don't think now, just feel."

"FIne by me."

*

"I have a job interview on Saturday," I murmured, scrolling through my phone, lying on top of Maitimo's chest. I was surprised I had the energy in myself to do that. He loved me so well that it was a bit of a chore to get up, put some clothes on, and walk into the shower in my aunt's apartment. I was so sore. 

"For what?"

"A pharmacy assistant," I said. "Hopefully I'll get it. I had some training back at my home country."

"Good on you," he said, "Is the area safe?"

"Safe," I affirmed. "But kind of far. It's an hour and a half to get there by bus. I don't mind though. Better than being hunted down by drug dealers."

"Where is it?"

"In this district," I showed him the image on my map-app. 

"I can drive you there," he offered and I shook my head.

"Don't stop your day for me, Maitimo," I said, "I can go on my own. I appreciate you for this though."

Maitimo said nothing.

"I'm gonna have to print out a few things for my interview. I'll go to the library today," I announced. 

"I am gonna have to go back and finish some business," he said. "Give some thought into moving in with me."

"I can't," I sighed regretfully. I gave my reasons why and he listened. 

"I own the property you would be moving into. It is in a god neighbourhood, the buses go there. You won't have to pay me rent or utilities," he told me.

I shook my head, the offer tempting. "I am not comfortable with that, Maitimo. It's not fair to you that I leech off of you."

"You aren't," Maitimo insisted. "I am offering this while fully knowing your circumstances and capabilities. You will stay with me, it will be easier for us to see each other, for me to protect you...you will understand more about me, so that not every strange thing I do scares you."

I squirmed. "Then...I'll clean and cook for you, how's that sound?"

"I don't need a maid," he rebuffed. "I take care of my own business."

"You won't have to anymore," I insisted. "Because you have me."

"You need to study," he booped my nose and I wrinkled it. "You will be working and studying."

"Maitimo," I sighed. "I worked, went to school, studied, and managed my own apartment for four years before you showed up and I will do it again."

"If I say yes, will you move in with me?"

"Give me until the end of the month when I will renew my contract with the lease. It'll give me time to tell my family and to get them adjusted. I'll have to visit them sometimes, you know," I finally said. "I'll buy the groceries as well."

"Deal," Maitimo said. "I am tired of my own cooking."

I laughed at that, delighted at how convenient everything just got. It was almost too good to be true.

*

The first few days of commuting to my new workplace with a concussion was painful. I always got dizzy. Being a pharmacy assistant was a strenuous process to begin with. I always refused rides from Maitimo even though I knew it would be so helpful if he did so I had more time to myself and less time to commute. The commute exhausted me to no end. 

"Can you work an extra shift tonight?" My manager came to ask me and I thought about it...yes, I could. If I stayed then the commute could b shorter because the bus driver can drop me off in front of my house. It was a thing that at night the bus driver will drop you off in front of the house so it cut me my twenty minutes of walking. It was going to be exhausting but it was good money anyways. Besides I was a little low on money for my savings. 

"Yea, sure," I agreed. "Can I get a forty-five minute break instead?"

"Yea, sure," my manager said. 

"Thanks," I said, "I'll go buy myself a small meal." I usually didn't eat during morning shifts because I came after work to eat. I was forgetful like that.

"Are you sure that is good for you?" my manager asked me skeptically and I paused, looking at her in shock. What did she mean by that? Was she calling me fat? I didn't realize I was so unliked by her. I was a fast learner, so I did my job as best as I could...

"I'll just go back to work," I said blankly, forcing myself to not dissect her words. I was fat, yes. But it didn't affect my work or her personal life. I wasn't sure why she felt the need to make a comment like this.

"Hey, Maitimo?" I said on the phone when I managed to take a bathroom break. "I am going to stay a little longer."

"How much longer?" His voice came through the phone and I felt my muscles relax. I absolutely loved hearing his voice. it made all my bad thoughts fade. 

"Till ten," I finally said, opening my eyes which I closed at the sound of his voice. "The bus will drop me off in front of the apartment."

"I'll pick you up," Maitimo finally said. 

"No need," I shook my head. "You are busy. The commute will be shorter then."

"Be out at ten, baby," he said in a rough voice and I made a little squeak, shocked by the way his voice changed and the way it sent heat flooding to my private parts. "What is it?"

"Nothing," I said breathlessly. "Yea, I'll be out by ten, ok?"

"See you," he said, hanging up and leaving me restless and desperate. Ten couldn't come any quicker, could it?

*

"FInished?" my manager asked me as I waited outside the building. Maitimo was a little late. 

"Yea," I said, offering her a hesitant smile. "Just waiting for my boyfriend to pick me up."

"That is sweet of him, what does he do?"

"He is a gold-smith," I said distractedly, watching out for a black sedan. "He owns his own business."

"Oooh," My manager said in a teasing voice. "Crafty."

"Yea," I forced myself to chuckle, feeling a little defeated when I didn't see the sedan. The bus stop was right there and I just watched the last bus leave. Oh, wait, there he was.

"There he is," I said, turning around and quickly waving to her before walking up to the sedan that pulled up in front of me. I opened the door and got in, closing it and not sparing a final glance to my manager. She gave me strange vibes.

"Who was that?" Maitimo asked, his gaze frosty at the figure of my manager. What was up with him?

"My manager," I said. "She asked me to stay."

"She is a two-faced woman," Maitimo said curtly and I started.

"Why? Do you know her?"

"She made an ugly face at you when you were walking to the car," Maitimo said, turning the wheel and driving away. "From now on I am picking you up and dropping you off."

I shook my head, watching his metal hand hold the steering wheel. It was a strangely intuitive hand-prosthetic It even flexed and everything. "Maitimo, don't bother. You know that makes me feel weird."

"What if I just want to see your face more often?" Maitimo shot at me. "I make time for what I want."

"Ok," I said in a small voice, feeling insanely flattered. I adjusted myself so that I could press a kiss on one powerful shoulder, wrapping my arms around his arm. "I love that you care for me so much."

"Cilla," Maitimo murmured, "I'm driving."

"Keep driving," I teased. "I'm not stopping you."

"If you rub your breasts against my arm one more time, I'm stopping this car and fucking you in the middle of the road."

I quickly let go of his arm. "I did not do that!" I was scandalized. "Don't be so horny!"

"You are my _amenalith_ , I will feel horny if I want to," Maitimo said curtly.

"Is that your term for girlfriend?" I asked curiously.

"Of sorts, and don't change the topic."

"If you want to rail me so badly, drive us safely to my apartment and I promise when you come upstairs, I'll be ready for you," I murmured softly, brushing my lips against his ears admiring the tip of his ears that--twitched? Wow, I didn't know ears could twitch.

"Don't tease me," he said in a low, warning voice. "Or you won't like what I'll do to you at your apartment. Sit back, please."

When he spoke like that, it made me want to tease him even more. I was probably going to like anything he did to me. I always did. And besides, I was feeling in the mood right now. "Drive, amore," I whispered in his ear, making him flinch violently. I laughed evilly. 

"Crazy woman, you are in this car too," he snapped at me, pushing me away and holding my down by my thigh. 

"Drive safely and protect me," I said in a pouty voice, laughing at his dirty look. I absolutely loved him like this. 

"We're here," Maitimo said after a few more minutes of driving. It really was a much shorter car ride. 

"Come up in fifteen minutes," I told him, pressing a kiss to his ear, his jaw and finally his lips, where his hand came to hold my head in place. "I'll make you feel good, amore."

"I hate sneaking around like this," Maitimo said, his eyes flashing in the dark. His eyes green or black, were always strangely bright. I noticed it before but never thought to comment on it. If it was dark, it was the one feature I could always see and when it was sunny, it was the one feature that stood out. It illuminated the skin around his face. Weird. But pretty.

"I'm sorry," I pouted, "I am not ashamed of you. But sex is generally frowned upon where I am from, even though we do it all the time."

"Yea," Maitimo said, pressing one last kiss before undoing my seatbelt. "Go and I'll come up to you in a few, alright?"

"Ok," I murmured, getting out and walking up to my apartment. When I got there, I grabbed my new lingerie and nightgown from my apartment and walked into my aunt's apartment, hurriedly got into my aunt's shower, scrubbing down and taking care of my self where it was needed. I wanted this to be perfect. I even purchased some lingerie for this moment. I put on my lingerie and the garter that I knew he enjoyed seeing on me. No one told me this, but getting ready for a dick appointment was time-consuming. But the results were worth it in the end.

"You smell nice," Paulo said when I walked out of the shower in a night gown. 

"Thanks," I said. "I just brushed my teeth."

"New shampoo?"

"Yes, wanna try?" I offered the bottle and he accepted. 

"Yea," Paulo said enthusiastically, taking it and running into the washroom. I laughed at his cuteness. This boy was open to anything and everything.

I entered my apartment, closing the door and the next moment, I was slammed against the wall, with Maitimo's tall form holding me in place there. 

"You crazy woman," he snarled in my ear. "I was driving when you were doing all that shit."

I laughed, delighted at his reaction. He was normally so stoic. "I have no regrets, only that I didn't get to blow you in the car."

He froze and I took this opportunity to push him away and run to the bed room, but not before he caught up with me, catching me by the waist and lifting me to sit on the window sill of my bedroom window.

"Maitimo no," I yelped, glancing behind me at the window. I didn't even put up the cardboard blinds yet. Someone might see.

"Are you wearing that garter?" he asked me, his voice rough and I swallowed, slowly nodding. 

"Show me," he commanded me and I slowly lifted my nightgown, smiling when he groaned at the sight of it. "Gorgeous."

"I want to give you a blowjob," I pouted. "I want to, please?"

My first doing that to him was totally embarrassing and I was extremely disappointed that he didn't finish by it. I watched so many porn videos as practice. I even read those obscure magazines on how to give a proper blowjob by a former porn star. I was more prepared this time. Maitimo still didn't budge. Why was he not answering? I huffed, taking off the rest of my nightgown so that I was left in my light pink lingerie that I purchased for this occasion specifically. I made sure it was see-through so that he could see my nipples. I thought I looked absolutely fantastic in it, even with my love-handles. He should too, he has too. I had it with him in my mind. I even purchased a matching garter. I didn't gauge his reaction for what I looked like to him. I forced myself to be confident. Besides, I had the approval of his lower friend (who was by no means little). Instead, I pushed him away and jumped off the window sill, going down on my feet and setting my knees on a little dressing chair that I pulled to me so that I was at the perfect height for this particular activity. He was too tall for me to be on my knees on the floor. I began undoing his belt, admiring his dick print through his grey boxers. Yes, I could definitely take that now that I was more confident.

"Priscilla," Maitimo warned, pushing me away. I pushed him back, looking up to glare at him, setting my hands on his hips.

"I want this, Maitimo. Don't be honorable and tell me I have a choice to back down like you always do," I snapped, pulling down his boxers and pressing my lips the shaft now. Maitimo staggered beneath me, with a sound that was half-way between shock and lust. OK, now we are getting somewhere. I could hear him say things in that language of his that I didn't understand but it certainly sounded profane enough. His hand gripped the hair on the back of my head as though to pull me away and I pulled back.

"Maitimo," I warned, "If you try to stop me I will stick my finger up your ass."

His hand dropped from my hair and I gave him my sweetest smile, even when I had saliva running all around my mouth. "Thank you, amore."

I resumed, immensely pleased by him. The best thing about Maitimo is that he was clean. I read stories about people who gave oral to other people with questionable hygiene, especially to their sex parts. No, Maitimo was clean and I made myself clean as well. For myself, but it is a treat when your partner is clean anyways. Apparently someone like Maitimo was a true gem. For that, I sucked in my cheeks hard enough to hurt myself and make him groan loudly. "Fuck, Cilla. Have mercy."

I ignored him, doing all the tricks that I learned, using it against him and honestly, it was good practice. By then Maitimo was a panting mess and he was forcing my head away. "I don't want to finish in your mouth," he warned me. 

"Why is it fair then that I get to finish in yours?" I pushed his hands away and placed my mouth over him again. This time he came in my mouth, hard enough to hit the back of my throat and make me gag. I pulled away, swallowing, tasting him. I didn't know how to feel about his taste. He was salty, is all I can say. Oh well, I got what I wanted and I liked it. I pressed one last kiss to his softening head before standing up, kicking aside the stool gently. I wrapped my arms around his torso, laying my head there. 

"Good?" I asked him, feeling his arms come around me and grip my butt cheeks, dipping his fingers in places that made me sigh. 

"Amazing," he murmured. "Wanna ride?"

"I might crush you," I laughed. "It's too hard anyways."

"If I die underneath you, it won't be because you crushed me," Maitimo said flatly, slowly lifting me up, his metal hand supporting me. I whimpered, quickly latching my legs around his waist and wrapping my arms around his neck. "It will be because I got a heart attack from how good you feel."

I gave him a shy little smile, pressing my lips to his and kissing him. Maitimo slowly moved and then slowly sat down, we were on the couch. "Move your hips," he commanded me. "I'll guide you."

And I did exactly that. Maitimo was too large for this, I found. I had to go all the way up and down to cover his full length but on the bright side, everything felt amazing and he really liked my new bra. I was embarrassed to find that he felt so good that I was crying. When he violently lifted his hips and me with it, I nearly saw the stars.

"Mercy," I whimpered. "You feel too good."

"No rest for the wicked," he murmured, doing it again and making me come all over his lap. I let my face fall against his chest in shock. How was that even possible? "Finished already?"

"No," I cleared my throat, realizing he didn't come yet. "I can go on."

And I did. I sat up again and continued my motions, this time spent but less susceptible to the onslaught of sensations that came with it. I made myself squeeze him tighter and in no time, he finished inside of me. The sensation was amazing. 

"Where are my panties?" I asked him when I got off from on top of him. 

"Here," he murmured, taking them and handing them to me, they were next to us on the couch. I thanked him, quickly putting it on and going to quickly fill myself a cup of water from the fridge. I was parched. Before I could drink it, Maitimo took it from me and lifted me on the counter, making me yelp in shock.

"I was thirsty!" I whined, reaching for the glass. Maitimo said nothing, kissing me instead and setting the glass far away where I couldn't reach it. "And why do you even have your shirt on still?"

Instead, he moved the base of my panties aside, entering me slowly but surely, my jaw dropped. He was hard again? And it felt even better? I stared at him in shock, my mouth making strangled, desperate noises. Everything he just did was incredibly sexy from start to finish. Why did he have to be so smooth about entering me like that? I made a strangled noise when he started moving, setting a hard pace that made my knees fold, my toes curl, and my eyes swing to the back of my head. I threw my head back, gasping for breath with how fast he was going and how well he loved me. This entire time he had one thumb on my clit, rubbing it mercilessly. Was he trying to torture me? I just had an orgasm, I didn't think I could handle another. 

"Maitimo, please," I whined, my hips moving to his rhythm and hating myself for it because I was just stimulating myself even more. I gripped his shirt, praying for mercy in Portuguese, burying my face in his chest. I was nearly dying from how good it felt. And then I came again but he still kept going--I was _raw_. I cried, beating his chest. "Please, slow down Maitimo!" He kept going and going until I came again, and this time, he finished with me, both of us groaning really loudly.

"I'm thirsty," I managed to say, panting, feeling him harden inside me after a moment of respite. "Water, please."

"Here," he murmured, handing me the abandoned glass that I had filled for myself. I looked at him, half drowsy and half lusty; "You're not going to pull out?"

"No," Maitimo said shortly. "I plan to make you come at least eight times before we take a break."

My jaw dropped. "I can't do that, I'll die!"

"Keep up, baby," he growled in my ear. "I plan to blow your back and ruin you for other men."

"You already did," I whimpered, loving the way he moved even though I felt like an open sore down there. "But please put on a bit of lube, I'm a little sore down there."

He didn't even move out of me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the lube bottle that he had _tucked in his back pocket_. I scoffed, swallowing down the water quickly before I choked on it. I was already too aware of his length inside me.

I took in a deep shuddering breath, ready for that familiar movement of his hips inside me. I wanted this--I wanted him, and he gave himself freely. I was absolutely in love with this man.

*

"I'm gonna have to call my parents and tell them about you," I said one we were finished with out activities. I was thoroughly loved and I was sore every where I should have been. It felt delicious and delightful. The subject of my parents might freak him out though. What if he was not ready for the level of commitment I desperately wanted from him? I wasn't going to rope him into this relationship (even though he exhibited stronger feelings towards me than I did) but I really wanted him to meet my parents and I wanted him a part of my life, especially since I was moving in with him. "How do you feel about that?"

"I thought you already did it," Maitimo said, sounding mildly surprised, stroking the inside of my thigh and tracing patterns there. "How will they react?"

"I don't know," I said. 

"How do you feel?"

"Nervous, they might not like it since you are white. They always wanted me to date someone in my culture."

"Why do they hate white people?"

"They don't hate them, but there is a stereotype that white people divorce too easily and that their values aren't like ours."

"Divorce?"

I felt my heart drop. "I mean, you don't have to marry me, if this is how far you wanna take this it's fine. I'm just telling you what my parents expect. You don't have to. It's an old fashioned mind set anyways."

Maitimo shook his head. "Don't fluster yourself, _amenalith_. I would be happy to marry you. But when the time is right."

"What?" my heart stuttered. "Maitimo, don't be saying those things to make me feel good. Say those things if you mean them."

"I don't say such things thoughtlessly, Priscilla," he said, his voice frosty. "To me, in my culture, to bind yourself to another is share your lives--even your death, with one another. I can never divorce from you, nor would I ever want to, come what may."

I was silent for the longest time. He spoke in the present tense about this. He didn't make it sound as if there was a 'when' or 'if' in the equation. He made it sound like we were already married. I was never the brightest kid in English class, in any class really. No one spoke in present tense about what is to come. So I spent the time till I fell asleep turning over his words in my mind till I was too tired to think anymore.

I went to sleep that night, wrapped so tightly around Maitimo that I over heated during the night. The small, child-size bed that would normally not fit me fit us both perfectly because we were hugging each other so closely. 


	8. Chapter 8

"Hello mama," I greeted on face time. I was at Maitimo's workshop. It was my first time visiting his workshop. It was on a Sunday where he his shop was closed and no one entered. We were sitting in his 'reception' area. His shop was not very small. But him and all his cousins and brothers worked here. Sunday was their 'reprieve' day. They accepted phone calls to the shop but no visitors. The room next door was the exhibition room. There were a few other rooms dedicated to sales, work shop, and other parts that I still didn't identify the purpose of. Their exhibition room was filled with beautiful and exquisite pieces. 

"Where are you?" my mother asked me, her and my father in the screen, scrutinizing me in the back ground. "You lost weight, my daughter. You look beautiful."

"I did?" I wasn't aware of that. Probably. Bed sport with Maitimo was a strenuous, long-lasting affair. "Thanks, I am in a workshop right now."

"Why?" My father asked me and I took a deep breath. "For what?"

"I want you two to speak English," I said in English, "Because there is someone I want you to meet."

"Who is it?" my father said in broken English.

"Meet Maitimo," I turned the phone to face Maitimo, who was next to me on the chair, looking over a blue print for a ring. He looked amazing, wearing a white shirt, a grey, open -sweater, and black pants. His hair was in a pony tail and he was gorgeous. His long hair and pointy ears might be a strange thing for my parents but they will just have to over come it. 

"Who is this?" My mother asked, significantly subdued.

"He is my new boy friend."

A long pause. Maitimo raised his stump in greeting. 

"Turn me to you again, my daughter," my father said in Portuguese. I winced, giving Maitimo an apologetic smile before turning the camera to face me.

"Have you been studying or playing around?" My father asked when I turned the camera to me. "With a one-handed man no less?"

"I have been studying," I said, resisting the urge to shush them and give away that Maitimo speaks our language. I didn't want them to know because it might make my parents feel bad. I needed to hear their thoughts and see how I was going to navigate that. Was it immoral of me? Yes. Did it work in the long run? Double-yes. "I've known him for a while. We met when he saved me from getting attacked...and then we met a few times after and then we decided to date each other after my exams ended. That he has one hand has nothing to do with anything, least of all his character."

It was probably what defined a huge portion of his character from the little snippets that I retained from him when he spoke of it in passing but I didn't say that.

My parents were silent for the longest moment. "Who attacked you?"

"I don't know, the man is in jail now. But Maitimo saved me, that was how we met," I said. 

"Your auntie told us about the attack," my mother admonished me. "She knew you wouldn't tell. She asked us not to let you know that we know. But why don't you tell us, my daughter?"

I felt my face loose all blood. I looked to Maitimo, who was already standing, his gaze worried. I made a small, placating gesture before walking out of the room. I was horrified that my parents knew. I was betrayed that my aunt sold me so easily to them. How could I live with this knowledge? My parents were so likely to victim shame me. I locked myself in the guest bathroom, taking a deep breath and staring at them through the screen.

"We are not angry, my daughter," my father said, looking heartbroken. "But why do you not tell us?"

"I didn't think you would understand," I said in a small voice, grateful that we weren't speaking English. Maitimo was not fluent enough for this.

"We would never blame you," my mother said. 

"You would have forced me to come back in the middle of my education," I said to my father.

"I considered it," he admitted. "Only to protect you. But your mother convinced me. I was going to tell you to come back as soon as you finished. But I don't think it is possible now...you have a boyfriend."

Why were they suddenly so accepting? This conversation was flowing too easily.

"It is time you married, my daughter," my mother said. "You have an education. It is time to find a husband. Not this white boy. He will divorce you. There is this talk that white people-"

"Mama, I want you to meet him first before you can say such things," I interrupted her, speaking in English and walking out the washroom, already knowing the flow of her next words. "He is a good man. He almost died trying to save me. I need you to give him a chance, please."

"We shall meet him," my father said and that was all they said about the matter. I walked back into the room, Maitimo sitting on the chair, his fist clenched, the veins on his arms bulging and staring angrily at his art. Hearing this talk probably set him in a bit of a mood. 

"Hi, Maitimo," I said hesitantly. "Meet my parents."

I turned the camera to face him again, and this time, Maitimo stood up. I could hear my parents gasping. It was a normal reaction. He had taken off his sweater and now, all his muscles were spread on display beneath the white shirt, which was a tight fit for him. He gently took the phone from me and spoke.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said. "I am Maitimo, Priscilla's boyfriend."

"Yes," my mother said hesitantly. "Thank you for saving our daughter."

"Yes," my dad said gruffly. "You are a good man."

"I am only glad she is safe and healthy," Maitimo said. "I hope we meet in person when comes the chance."

My parents seemed unsure of how to address Maitimo's forwardness. 

"Yes," my mother said anyways. "Where are you from, Maitimo?" she stumbled over the pronunciation of his name but it was cute. 

"I am from Alaska, ma'am," Maitimo lied smoothly, giving me a glance. I walked up to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to his back. 

"What do you do?"

"I own my own business. I am a goldsmith, I own the workshop I am in right now. Would you like a tour?"

"Alright, yes," My dad's voice was interested now. Good, everything was going well so far. 

I am sure everything will be well.

While Maitimo gave a tour and explained to them the role of each room, I quietly followed behind him, waving when I came into view in one of the random mirrors in the house. Next to him, I was so short, I barely reached below his chest and I was nearly half his size in everything, despite being over weight. He was seven feet of pure muscle and intimidation. Even his voice was intimidating. I was like a child next to him and from the skeptical faces of my parents, they realized it as well.

Maitimo took my wrist and presented it to my parents, "I made this for your daughter. I personally crafted and designed the band, my brother helped patent it's claim," Maitimo said. And it was truly a beautiful bracelet. 

"You are very kind to her," my mother finally said. "We appreciate you doing this for our daughter."

"I will treat her well, I promise. All I ask is for your blessing to continue seeing her," Maitimo said. "If you need time to think on it, that is fine as well."

"I don't think our permission will matter," my father said, something sharp about his voice. "My daughter is strong-headed. If I say no, she will still see you. So you have my blessing."

"Thank you sir, ma'am," Maitimo said.

"Do you understand our culture?" My mother asked. "This is a new relationship, but my daughter is young. She believes easily. She must date to marry--"

"Mom," I was scandalized and embarrassed. "Don't say stuff like that. When we are read--"

"Your mother is talking Priscilla," My father said sharply.

"I'm sorry Maitimo," I apologized, trying to reach for my phone but Maitimo held it out of reach.

"Please continue, ma'am, I am listening," Maitimo said smoothly. 

"We do not date for fun--or for sex--or for anything like that, no. We do not date. We marry. Do not waste my daughter's time if you will not marry her."

"When the time is right, ma'am, after we have all met each other's families, my plan is to take this further," Maitimo said. "Is that alright with you?"

I stilled, watching him strangely. What a strange white man. Why was he so perfect?

"You have our blessing," My father said. "Take it and make your plan properly."

"I will treat her well, and I will protect her," Maitimo said solemnly, handing me back the phone and pressing a kiss to my forehead, in front of my parents. I winced, sending him a weak smile and looking back at my parents, who watched the exchange with a scrutinizing gaze. 

"So, what do you think now?"

"Only time will tell," My mother said in Portuguese. "He is too big for you. When you come to make a baby, he will break you in half--you hare half his size."

I gasped, scandalized at her thoughts. My father burst into laughter. Thank goodness they didn't know Maitimo understood some of what they are saying. "Mama don't say stuff like that!"

It was strange watching my parents transition from a phase of shaming sex, relationships, and marriage, to openly cracking jokes about it and being accepting of it, especially so easily. It was going better than expected. What they didn't know (and thank goodness for that), was that Maitimo fucked me raw every single night, several times without fail. We went through a bottle of lube every week from how much bed sport we participated in. Not to mention, the early morning showers that I took at my aunt's place were starting to get noticed. I will be glad to move out of my apartment. Each time I came out a gasping, incoherent mess and him following me. He didn't break me in half yet but there were times where he very well could have. I blushed just thinking about it. 

"Also, mama, papa, I have something else to say."

"What is it, my daughter?" my mother said.

"I am moving," I announced. "I didn't tell auntie yet. I wanted you to know first."

"But why? You pay so little, if you move anywhere else, you will pay more!" My father was scandalized. 

I shook my head. "Now that I don't have school to pay for, I have extra funds to move out to a better neighborhood and get a better job. I just need a safe space. I was attacked in my own apartment and I am scared someone else might attack me there. Besides, that apartment is not liveable and I am always invading my aunt's space for a cup of water. I don't like that."

This was also a pending fear in my mind. 

At this, my parent's conceded. "Yes, that is a good plan," my father said gruffly, his eyes turning red with unshed tears. I winced. I hated to bring it up and see their pain. I didn't realize their pain would be so profound.

"Do you have a place in mind?"

Should I tell them I am moving in with Maitimo...? No. I already pushed them too far. "Just a place closer to the suburban area. There is a hospital there where I can work after I get certified."

"How much is the rent?"

"Around five hundred dollars a month," I lied, wincing at their aghast expressions. It was free but then that would be suspiscious.

"Too expensive, my darling!" My father was outraged. 

"It is a bigger space, and the plumbing works too! It has pre-installed security. When I start working, rent will be a small issue for me. I just need to move in before the exam and change my address so I can put in my new one, is all."

"Do what you will, you are an adult now. Just be wise when spending money. Remember, rent money is not living money. You still have to eat and take care of yourself," my father reminded me, resigned.

"So when are you moving?" my mother was clearly displeased.

"At the end of this month," I announced.

"So soon," my mother seemed shocked. "You will visit your aunt, yes?"

"Whenever I have a moment," I said. "I already packed up. Maitimo is helping me move out."

"Will you move in with him?" My mother was alarmed now.

"No," I lied, laughing nervously. "No, he is only helping me. Maitimo lives somewhere else."

"He is very kind, what is he doing now?"

"He is in another room, finishing some designs," I said.

"It is a good job," my father said. "A man that can work with his hands. Very good, Priscilla."

"Thank you, papa," I said, glad for my parent's approval. "Listen, I need to leave because we have to leave soon."

"Yes, take care, my dear," my mother said, and both of them blew me kisses that I blew right back at them, eventually ending the call.

I ended the call and turned off my phone, running to the next room where Maitimo was, nearly crashing into him--he was already standing there. I hugged him, squealing happily. Everything went splendidly! He was so understanding and I don't think he needed to play along! He was a natural. 

"Maitimo you were so good, they loved you. You were so good and--you didn't have to say any of that but you did. I love you for it. Maitimo you are the best! Oh, Maitimo you make me feel so good and safe!" I was gushing all over him, tears in my eyes. I was being emotional but I loved every breath this man took. When he enfolded me in his arms, I began to sob in his chest, speaking to him in Portuguese, calling him terms of endearments. I couldn't say any of that in English. That was meaningless to me in English. 

"Ladies don't cry, _amenalith_ ," Maitimo murmured softly when I pulled away from his chest. "Especially a smart, beautiful woman like you. No one deserves those tears." He was bending down, wiping my tears from my face, giving me the softest smile that could melt a kitten. I felt my eyes well up with tears again at the affection that I saw there. With a resigned sigh, he pulled me again to his chest, stroking my curls. Another bout of tears and sobs racked my body.

"You are so good to me," I whispered in the end when no more tears came out.

"Nothing less than what you deserve," Maitimo said smoothly. "You are an easy woman to love."

I gave him a silly little smile; "Want some fast food? My treat."

Maitimo laughed, pulling his jacket. "I won't say no."

*

I had packed up all my things in a box. The furniture I couldn't well move. I didn't need the ratty mattress that I had that had questionable stains on it. I didn't need the half-broken cupboard that I had. But I did take my thrifted China set, my pans, and my kitchenaid coffee maker. I had packed up all my clothes and toiletries. 

"Where are you going that you don't need your furniture?" My aunt asked me skeptically.

"It's why the rent is so expensive, I don't need the furniture because it's already furnished," I explained. "Just the basic things. Besides, the furniture here is broken. It won't survive the move. I'd rather just eat on the floor for a while."

"Maitimo, hello," my uncle said, carrying a box. "Are you here to help?"

"Yes," Maitimo said, taking the box from my uncle and stacking a few more boxes before disappearing downstairs.

"Oh," I said, embarrassed. "I didn't ask him to help. I'll go tell him it's fine."

"Don't refuse help, you silly girl," my uncle said. "He can finish the job quicker than you and me."

And it was true he did. By then I was sweaty and exhausted. I downed an entire bottle of water. I was planning to make two trips with my aunt's car but after seeing Maitimo come, I realized it was going to be fine. I only needed to do one trip. 

"Thank you, Maitimo," I said, pressing a kiss to his lips before he sat in the car. "I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"We'll drop everything off first and then we'll take both cars and return your aunt's car."

"Ok," I nodded, agreeing. "Thank you again."

*

I followed Maitimo in the car and we drove for a while until we reached a small, apartment building style in the outskirts of the suburbs. It was unconventional to say the least. The 'apartment' house was around four stories long, not including the basement. I recognized as being part of Maitimo's workshop. I was a little surprised. I always assumed the top levels weren't his to begin with. I thought he rented, ike I did.

"Do you share this house?" I asked, unloading a few things and following Maitimo. 

"With the others of my kin," Maitimo said. "But we will have a floor to ourselves."

"Do you pay rent?" I was getting ready to rebuke him for not letting me pay. 

"No," Maitimo said. "We own this building. It is the design of Turko. You won't meet him yet. He lives elsewhere. He is much too frivolous to share."

So...Maitimo was rich, basically? I kind of guessed at it but I didn't want to make assumptions. It wasn't why I was with him anyways. It was convenient that he was self-sufficient like that though.

"Will I meet your other cousins?"

"Next week," he promised. "They are currently managing affairs out of state."

"You guys are busy," I said, faintly surprised. What did I expect? I got the impression that Maitimo was an unemployed bum who leeched off of me in the beginning. He slowly proved otherwise but I was under the impression that the wealth was not his, that perhaps it belonged to someone else or that he stole it. And then he showed me his workshop and the patented craftsmanship under his name. It was all him. It made me wonder about his age. He didn't look older than thirty. "Thanks for the help."

"No problem," he replied smoothly. "Watch your step," he murmured, wrapping one arm around me when I lost balance for a second. I flushed, embarrassed at that. I wasn't clumsy. 

"I--yes," I muttered. The apartment in question was on the second floor, above the workshop. It was a spacious 2 bedroom. The apartment itself was sparsely furnished save for a few odd-looking emblems. There seemed to be a theme of those, particularly an 8-pointed star that I kept seeing in random parts of the apartment. The kitchen was a fine affair, with stainless steel counters and the latest technology.

I looked at the spacious kitchen sink, remembering my own, shallow one. I opened up the hot water and was laughed when it came out, with admirable water pressure and amazing heat. "It works!" I laughed, closing the water and bumping into Maitimo, who was standing behind me. "The counter is so high though."

It was something else that I noted. The furniture here was larger than life. It was as if it was specifically commissioned for a larger person. Looking at Maitimo, I wouldn't be surprised. Even the cutlery and everything here was big. My own must have been child's training utensils for him. I never gave much thought to how he worked around his size in the environment I lived in. I just assumed he was used to it his whole life. 

"Yea," he murmured. "I don't like bending over counters when I work," he said, one large hand coming to grip my butt. I gasped, surprised at his touch, but not rejecting it. It was nice. 

"Good thing I got my own plates," I joked, opening a drawer and taking out a spoon, that was better fit for serving rather than eating. 

Maitimo didn't say anything, only gave me a quick squeeze before going back downstairs to unload some more. I followed him.

*

"Whew," I said, "I'm exhausted." I wiped the sweat off my brow. Maitimo had helped me fold away my clothes in the second bedroom he had. It was a smaller bedroom but it had a nice view of the dog park behind us. I liked dogs. It was never in my capabilities to get one so I never entertained the thought. "I'm just gonna go and return the car," I said, pausing to come and look at Maitimo. 

"Maitimo, is it ok if I bring my family over for one day? They are curious. I won't have to, I'll just say my room mate doesn't feel comfortable--"

"It's fine. But it will have to be this week, I am not sure my cousins will be as accepting as I am."

"Who will be living in the building?" I was curious. 

"Fingon, Finrod, and myself," Maitimo said, bringing me in for a kiss. 

"Ok," as long as I didn't face Fingon directly, I was fine. I was aware of his intense and unfounded dislike for me. I didn't want to shoot up any tensions around Maitimo. 

Soon, I was done moving and organizing my things into the personal space that was given to me by Maitimo. The bedroom was beautiful. The bed was big and sturdy, on a lovely frame. The walls were painted off-white and there was a dresser and a small walk-in closet. It was like having the room I always dreamed of having. In Brazil, my bedroom was just as small as it was in my previous apartment. The furniture was of better quality for sure, and there were actually curtains. The doors locked too. I was excited to just go to sleep. 

I was so exhausted. Eventually we drove the car back and I waved good bye to my aunt, uncle, Paolo, and Joyce. Maitimo drove us back and by then, I had fallen asleep in ride back. I groggily opened my eyes when I felt the car stop.

"Come on," Maitimo whispered. "Take a shower and go to sleep, baby."

I nodded, slowly getting off the car and following Maitimo into the house, climbing up the stairs and accidentally, into his room.

"The shower is that way," he smirked, his hand coming around me and gripping my butt, pulling me to him. To compensate for the embarrassing height difference, he had leaned down far enough to let me set my lips against his shoulder and yawn. "Tired?"

"Yea," I said, moving away from him, accidentally bumping into the frame. "I'll take a shower now."

"I'll join you," Maitimo announced, tugging on the buttons of my paid shirt, popping them open. I gasped a little, shocked at that. He was being so bold. I was kind of hesitant as well. It would be the first time we officially showered together for the purpose of cleanliness, in a living-house setting rather than a hotel setting. I was sure if I was able to find the energy to have sex right now anyways. I worked so hard today. Immediately after finishing work and some errands, I had to get to moving. I didn't have anything tomorrow...but still. Showering right now, with Maitimo, was a little scary for me. My insecurities, especially when I was not feeling at my best, were scary.

"I--I" I stuttered, wide-eyed. Did he expect this from me since he helped me move in? I felt all the questions in the world fall on me. 

Sensing my inner distress, he dropped his hand, keeping it on my waist. "Not feeling comfortable?"

"No," I squeaked in a small voice. "Not that, I just don't feel so good--"

Maitimo slowly set his hands on my shoulders, giving me a warm, soft smile. "There is a basket for you in the washroom. Freshen up and go to sleep."

Simple solutions. A rush of warmth flooded me and I pressed a tired, clumsy kiss against his chest, going to the washroom. Sure enough, there was a small basket waiting for me, filled with lovely toiletry gifts. Was this for me? In the basket was a small box with four flower-shaped soaps in it that smelled absolutely wonderful. There was a couple of bath bombs, some facial skin care products, shampoo, and conditioner. I was absolutely delighted by how thoughtful Maitimo was. The sight of the basket was energizing to me and I found myself retracing my steps back to Maitimo in his bedroom, finding him standing over his bed, taking off his shirt.

My hands found his belt buckle, undoing his belt for him before he could. " _Amenalith_ ," he murmured huskily, making me warm and fuzzy inside. "I am trying really hard tonight--"

"I don't want you to try," I said breathlessly, surprising myself by how needy I sounded when just a moment ago, I was so resistant. I was being really backwards. I recognized it and it seemed that he knew it better than I did because he raised an eyebrow.

"You are tired," he told me gently. "You might not like it in the moment. If we do this, we go all night long, you know this, baby."

I flushed hot at his words. He wasn't helping when he put his conditions in that way or in that voice. I knew it too well and the memory of it made me even more awake. But in my mind, I knew that he was right. i might be awake right now but it was going to be humiliating if I fall asleep right after I finish and I know it will be leagues before he does, with his big dick energy. 

"How about you just shower with me?" I asked him hesitantly. "Do you want to try the new soaps you got?"

"They are yours," Maitimo shook his head, his eyes hot on my hands that were already unzipping him and stroking him through the fabric of his underwear. And he was gloriously responsive. "Priscilla," he warned in a rough voice.

"Take a shower with me," I implored him, my hands going to my shirt and taking it off completely, with my bra following it. I took the clothes and walked away, hoping that he would follow me. I set the clothes in the hamper and took off my pants, feeling him walk up behind me. Good. I wanted this now. 

I smiled when I felt his hand come around and cup one breast, that was cold in his scorching hands. He was always warmer than usual. It was nice to sleep next to him on a cold night, but unbearable on a warm night. I sighed, leaning back against his equally scorching chest, relaxing in his arms. I loved everything he did. 

"Can you hold for two rounds in the shower?" he asked me gently, fixing the water at a perfect temperature. I nodded eagerly. "Yea, two sounds good."

I was up against the spacious, walking in shower wall. The thing about Maitimo's shower was that he had a wonderful rainfall shower so that he didn't have to bend down as he would in a normal shower. The water was hitting his back and he was pounding into me. I was nearly screaming from how good it felt. It felt good that I didn't have to hold in the noises I made during sex. In my old apartment, that was a hefty concern of mine because of my family next door.

"Maitimo," I moaned, nearly clawing off his shoulder blades. He felt amazing inside me. H might have been big but he was skilled so his size never hurt me. "More, please."

Why did he slow down? No-nonono! I wanted more, not--ooooohhh that felt amazing. It was torturous but amazing. "Why?"

His the strength of his pace never decreased, but his pace decreased to a the equivalent of a simmer--right as I was about to finish! I pouted in his smug face. I pressed myself closer to him, tightening my lower walls until it was painful even for me. He grunted violently, gasping at the onslaught of sensation that racked through his body at that act. "Fuck, Baby," he snared, ramming his length inside me. I cried out, half in pain and half in pleasure. Oh--damn. It was more pleasurable than it was painful, and just as shocking. My arms nearly gave away. In one swift move, Maitimo shifted the positions so that he was sitting on the marble bench of his shower. I cried out at the shift of position. A different spot, a different sort of pleasure. Am I complaining? Fuck no.

Did we do it more than two times. Definitely yes, and well into the night.

I was willing to go for more. But Maitimo kept his word and only took me twice before we actually cleaned up. We both went to his bedroom, sleeping together, wrapped in each other so closely, that the large sea of blankets that was his bed may as well have been an entire continent. 

Yes, I could be happy here, if only for a while.

*

"Don't do that!" My manager snapped, her face red. The pharmacist's head peaked out curiously at the commotion that the woman was causing. Honestly, why would she do that? Why would she yell at me like that? I was only putting away supplies. They hadn't been put away for nearly two weeks, it was a job and it needed to be done. The supple itself was taking up space in the already cramped corner.

"Why not?"

"Go help the customer!" She snapped, shoving me away. I stumbled in shock, looking around me to see if anyone else saw that. They all did and they were looking back at her unsurely. No one stepped up to help. Feeling thoroughly humiliated and berated, I went up to help the customer. I was ready to cry but I couldn't afford breaking down in the middle of a bunch of random strangers.

Ever since the night that Maitimo picked me up from an extra shift and we walked out together, my manager became increasingly overbearing. I wasn't sure from where her intense dislike stemmed. But the moment that Maitimo pointed out her foul demeanor, I began noticing the microaggression that she projected on me. It was often humiliating and it was becoming really stressful to be in a workplace with that woman.

"You have a good day, honey," the customer said, sending a pointed look to where my manager probably was. I knew that the look was directed behind me and at my manager because I could feel her stony presence behind me. When I turned around, she was uncomfortably close to me. I recoiled, shocked at her aggression.

"Don't you ever do something without my instruction," she snarled, her face red. I was shocked and unsurprisingly humiliated. I couldn't stand down from this. This was abuse at this point.

"Don't talk to me that way," I said, cursing myself. I had expected my voice to come out stronger, not this broken whimper. Yuck. "I am only doing my job."

"Your job is what I say it is," the woman snapped at me. "Did you have a shitty day so now you are coming her and giving attitude?"

My jaw dropped in shock at her unfounded meanness. "What? No! I don't understand what I did wrong. It isn't my first time doing this! Putting away stock is still a job."

"You job is smiling at the customer and getting their medications out, not doing my job," the woman snarled, her voice going up an octave. I wasn't getting anywhere with this woman. The helplessness that I felt made me crippled. When I worked at the convenience store, I dealt with pretty shitty people. I had minimal interactions with my manager, but even when I did see him, we never really spoke or butted heads. In a way, and as bad as it sounds, they had an excuse for being shitty; they lived in a low-income, crime-riddled, unprogressive environment. They were poor and even the slightest difference in price was maddening to them. I understood that. But this woman--the fact that I expected more from her made this all the more worse. I expected more because she was in a position of authority and power that came from years of experience.

"We help each other out," I croaked out, as my last stand against the raging inferno before me.

"Helping is not the same as getting in my way--"

"Jane," the pharmacist's voice warned. "Let's get back to work--"

"Take the rest of the day off," Jane, my manager, snapped, seeming annoyed. "I don't have the time to babysit. I can do your job and mine alone."

 _Then why did you hire me?_ I wanted to scream. When I opened my mouth to say just that, tears--mortifying, embarrassing tears--streamed down my face. I shut my mouth, turning away and running out of the workstation. No one stopped me and no one stood up for me. I tried my best but honestly, facing up against a person with that much power as a woman in my circumstances (low-income, looking for a job to get by) was difficult. 

In my walk of shame, I walked out of the pharmacy, barely catching up with my bus. I just needed a day to myself. I needed to go somewhere where I can relax. A spa or a pedicure was out of limits. I didn't have the funding for it. Or at least, I couldn't afford to spend money on such a luxury when I had other pressing concerns. Maybe I could just go to a small park or--nevermind. I didn't have data on my phone and I didn't have any transportation planned out for this. It really sucked being poor sometimes. I'll just have to go home and take a nap, and probably wake up to another bad day. 

Oh, right, I lived with Maitimo now. Still a concept I was getting used to. I suppose I could just cook something extra nice tonight as a way to distract myself. So the whole ride back, I was planning the meal in my head. I hope that Maitimo would appreciate it. So far, he had eaten everything made without complaints, even going for seconds. It was something that I appreciated and it gave me confidence to try out new things with him. When I got my hands on his kitchen, the first thing that I did was stock up on spices. Maitimo enjoyed a protein-heavy diet. I leaned towards the salads and veggies. The more I thought about it, the more I remembered some other responsibilities; washing, cleaning, re-organizing...so I guess my already difficult day didn't end here. But I would rather do that than have to go back to my work again today.

The commute was long and unplanned. I wasn't sure when was a good time to call Maitimo and tell him I was home early. I was terrified that my voice would crack or I would cry at the sound of his voice. His voice could strip me down of my barriers and lay all my secrets bare to the world. Not that he intentionally did that. I walked back to the house and freshened up, chucking my uniform in the hamper before taking out the meat from the freezer and setting it out to defrost. While that happened, I put the laundry through a cycle and began vacuuming the floors.

Eventually, I lost track of time until my phone hit up a notification. I froze. It was a media app notification but it made me remember something anyways--I never called Maitimo that I am already home. He was going to drive me back, I didn't want him to wait around for me needlessly. I quickly pulled out my phone, dialing his number.

"Hello?" I asked when I heard the sound of him picking up his phone.

"Cilla?" He asked, "Is everything alright?"

"What? Oh, yes," I giggled nervously, absolutely stoked at not breaking down as I originally thought I would. "I'm already home. You don't have to pick me up."

Maitimo was silent for a long moment. I never usually came home early from work. "Did something happen?"

"What? No, pfftt," I laughed it off nervously, wincing at how fake that sounded. "I made something good for supper, and I made plenty," I said quickly. "See you then!" I quickly hung up, chucking the floor at the couch, terrified that he would know something was wrong. He probably did but I was still afraid of the confrontation. How would he take it to know that someone had really upset me at work yesterday, and that I might not have a job tomorrow? I was humiliated and upset. 

I wasn't sure how long I spent preparing the meal but I never heard Maitimo enter. I only became aware of his presence when he came around me and caught the knife that I accidentally pushed off the counter with my hand. I swallowed nervously. "H-hey, oh, thanks for that. It's really sharp. Might have accidentally cut myself, haha. Oh, you look good today! Are you sweaty? You seem like it. Was it really hot downstairs or were you working out? I--"

He cut me off, pressing a kiss to my lips and setting the knife down next to us. When we pulled away, he stepped back, turning off the stove and taking my hand, leading me to the living room and sitting on the couch, pulling me on his lap. My eyes fluttered shut at how comfortable it felt to be cradled by him. It's been a long time since someone held me like that.

"Tell me about your day, amenalith," he murmured and all my fuzzy feelings built up at his pet name for me. 

"It wasn't anything special," I shrugged, my mind remembering Jane's red face and her terrible, awful, words. It wasn't special to me, but it was just as heartbreaking. "I have to finish sup--"

He cut me off with a kiss before pulling away, unbuttoning the top of my shirt and pressing a kiss there. "Tell me," this time his voice took on a commanding edge that made me swallow my rebuffals. 

"I just went home early," I finally settled on saying. "My manager really upset me today."

Maitimo's posture never changed, and his fingers never stopped dancing on my shoulder blades but when I peaked at his face, I realized that his jaw was ever-so-faintly clenched. Yikes. I was already aware of his murderous tendencies when it came to me, that is why I didn't want to bring it up. But I couldn't resist his orders, especially when he used that tone. 

"How?" he asked, his voice was calm and casual. His entire posture was unbothered but the only thing that gave it away was the tick at his jaw.

"It's really stupid," I insisted. "I will meet shitty people at work all the time. This is noth--"

"Tell me," he murmured, his voice now hard, cutting no room for mercy. I swallowed nervously. 

"I was putting away stocks and she yelled at me for doing that, saying it was her job--but that hadn't been done in weeks and it was getting really inconvenient to have to trip over them as I work. She sent me away after she told me that she could do both our jobs," I finally said. "But listen--don't pay her any attention. I just want to have a good night without thinking about her."

"Is she the same woman from last time?"

"Yes," I said, understanding to whom he was referring. "I made good food, I was just finished heating it up."

"Thank you," he said, kissing me and pat me on my thigh, getting up and keeping me tight against him. I suppose not having a spa day was not so much of a loss when I came home and had Maitimo next to me. I wasn't sure what I was afraid of in the end. Was I afraid of reproval from him? His opinion really mattered, especially given how successful he was. But no, he was nothing but kind and caring. I wasn't sure why I was always building misconceptions against him.

I made up the button that he had undone and led him into the kitchen, making him a generous plate of the food and soon, both of us were seated next to each other and eating. I excused myself shortly to follow up on some studying and before the end of the night, Maitimo had led me back to the bedroom to sleep. 

Today wasn't a good day. But it ended well.


	9. Chapter 9

I had eventually managed to find a stable routine around Jane the manager, working as quietly and efficiently as I could. She didn't bother me again and I stopped the same shifts as she did, only occasionally overlapping. In the meantime, Maitimo and I worked around a routine that accommodated both of us. I had been briefly introduced to his cousins, all of whom were incredibly tall and beautiful. Occasionally, I cooked for them as well and they were gracious eaters. When they came over, it was a day Maitimo and I didn't have sex because they stayed up all night talking while I snoozed off in my bedroom.

I was never able to form a relationship with his cousins. Aside from the fact that they were incredibly tall, beautiful, and outlandish (literally as well as metaphorically), they didn't really understand my humor and didn't understand my perspective whenever we had a discussion, however rare that was. They weren't generally unpleasant or rude, but they were just too different from me, the same way that Maitimo and I were different. It often made me question how on earth Maitimo and I ended up in such an intimate relationship that we moved in together after three months of being together. I still wasn't sure how. 

But I did know a thing or two about them after all the time I spent visiting them. Finrod was the CFO of the company that sold the works of Maitimo and Fingon, both of whom were goldsmiths and worked at different locations. Fingon worked in an apprenticeship, where he apprenticed aspiring goldsmiths, while Maitimo managed his own. Turgon was a cold businessman, the actual CEO of the gold company of which his cousins were a shareholders. He was the only one besides Fingon who actually bordered on rude. I was surprised to know that they were brothers. But at the same time, not really. They had an uncanny resemblance in very aspect of themselves. But the reason I was so surprised was because yes they had similar features, but at the same time, their features were not dissimilar to that of Maitimo or Finrod. They all shared the same general characteristics, the sharp, oblong jaw, the high forehead and cheekbones, the deep set, glowing eyes, and the full mouths. There was no doubt that they were related. The only thing that suggested otherwise was the hair color. Maitimo had many shades of red and brown running in his hair, Finrod was a pinnacle of gold, Turgon and Finrod had black hair. But they all had incredibly long hair and incredibly strange and pointed ears. 

Safe to say, I was always dressed in my best, even casually. I always tried my best around them and I always made sure to present the food wonderfully. I tried not to make too many changes to Maitimo's apartment, even though I was tempted to. It was his space in the end and I didn't want to take that away from him. But the kitchen was under my control, entirely. It was something that I enjoyed doing when I wasn't studying or cleaning. 

"Hey," I greeted Maitimo as he came in, carrying a black plastic bag in his hand. "Had a good day?"

"Satisfactory," he said, setting the black bag on the counter. "Let's go out."

I paused, setting down the last plate that I was washing. I was a little surprised that he initiated it, he seemed so busy lately. As was I. But tomorrow was my day off. I was planning to just study some more but I guess that was too tempting.

"Out where?" I asked hesitantly, timidly. I was still new to this. We have only ever been on one date. It was a lovely, memorable date. Very eventful. Would it be different this time? Or the same? I wasn't sure and I found I didn't mind either option. 

"Shopping," he said, looking at me reaching out with one hand and unbuttoning my top button, revealing the sports bra that I had underneath, I let him. It was just the two of us anyways. "A small treat here and there. We could both use it--"

"Oh!" I cut him off, "I just remembered, I have something for you. I wanted to give it a while back but I was so busy that I forgot!"

I hurried back into my room, taking out the loving wrapped gift box that I made for him. It wasn't for a special occasion. Only that one day, I was having another bad day at work after a customer yelled at me. Maitimo never knew what had happened, only that it upset me enough to be withdrawn. He didn't question me about it. He cooked dinner that night, and it was delicious, and afterwards, he helped me study and cuddled me in bed. It wasn't anything blindingly romantic. but it was just the thoughtful little things that he did that made me feel so good about myself. He never expressed his gentle side verbally, but his actions were different. I just wanted to show my appreciation for it and my way was through a gift. Besides, I owed him one after that beautiful bracelet he made for me. 

I handed it to him and he took it cautiously, giving me a slightly incredulous look. "A gift? For what occasion?"

I shrugged bashfully. "Just because..."

I hoped he liked it. We still weren't that familiar with each other. I was unsure about what I liked or disliked about him. I wasn't sure about what he liked and disliked. He wasn't particularly passionate about anything other than creating things. I just really wanted him to like it.

When he opened the box, he laughed, shocked. "A teddy bear?"

I flushed, watching him pull out the tiger plushie. "It's soft, I thought it felt really nice. There is more!"

Now that he was opening the gift, I was embarrassed. I clearly knew nothing about him. The plushie looked ridiculous in his large hands. I thought it was large enough to be huggable, but in his hands, it was a little bigger than his palm. 

"I like it," he said thoughtfully, giving it a squeeze, "Feels like you."

I flushed. "That's so silly," I laughed a little at the absurdity. No one felt like plushy. "See the other ones."

He set the plushy on the counter and dived again into the box, pulling out a little tea kettle, taped up. "You are a sweet woman, Priscilla."

I flushed, giving him a shy smile. There was more in the kettle. "Open the kettle, Maitimo, but don't laugh, ok?"

His eyes shot up to mine, darkening into pitch black as if he was a cat. "Is there nudes?"

I burst into laughter, shocked and horrified at his perceptiveness. "No! I--I don't know. Maybe." Given the way his eyes darkened, that was not something he would be upset about. 

He carefully set down the kettle, gently untapeing it with the care of a lover, taking off the lid. In the kettle, surely enough, were a bunch of photos. It was a lingerie photoshoot that I had done for my friend brother, who was part of the body positivity campaign. Plus, he was heavy into BDSM so he had requested a theme from me. It took me a couple of days at first to be able to do find the confidence to do it. It was a nice photoshoot, I never felt uncomfortable, mainly because the guy was gay. It was also a nice week because I was perfectly waxed all over and I felt confident to be with Maitimo a lot. He never knew about it and I never told him.

I might have to tell him now. 

"I only have twenty pictures," I explained. "It was for a photoshoot for a friend that I have. He--"

"He," Maitimo's eyes shot up to mine, the black taking over his eyes until it 'leaked' into his face. I flinched, surprised at the tone and a little regretful that I exposed it.

"The guy was gay," I explained hurriedly, watching the black recede. "He had a body-positivity campaign that he was commissioned to do. I was asked to model and I said yes."

Maitimo didn't say anything still watching me. "I don't know if you will like them," I continued nervously. "I thought I looked nice, and I thought you would like to see them. But if you don't that is fine too because well...maybe it's ok--I mean, I don't mind doing it in the dark. But I was wearing a garter in a few of those pictures and I know you like that--I don't know what you will do with them. Maybe just keep them in a safe? I don't know but--"

"Priscilla," Maitimo cut me off. "I haven't even looked at them yet."

I flushed, "Do you need space?"

"I don't mind having you here with me," Maitimo said, slowly bringing me closer with his stump, his other hand holding the pictures. "Help me go through them, yes?"

"Ok," I squeaked, bashful. "But don't laugh."

"That is not something for you to be worrying about."

"Ok," I cleared my throat, sitting down on the stool next to him and slowly placing them separately on the counter. There were poses of me, in pale pink, black, teal, green, and stark red lingerie. Some sets, like the corsets I was not able to keep, but the rest I was. I was in many different poses, one of them was me in a green lingerie, on a white, fluffy bed on my knees, which were spread apart. My hair was ruffled, I looked so different. I looked so confident and natural, completely different to how I felt at that time. Another picture didn't show my face, but I was seated on a stool, my ankles shackled, my torso in a corset where my breasts were so close to spilling out, I thought my collar bones looked amazing, especially because my hands were tied behind my back at that time. The only part of my face that was visible was my lips, painted carmine. 

Another picture showed me arching my back, the teal night dress I was wear teasingly pulled above my panty line and my nipples visible through the teal lace. One knee was bent, exposing the slit between my thighs that was covered with the lace, but I could see a line of wetness there, and one hand was buried in my hair. I looked absolutely flushed and breathless. There were a few black and white photos of me and a few back shots which I wasn't sure about because of my back rolls. In another one, I was holding a beer bottle with steam coming out of it, wearing pale lace that contrasted with my large, dark nipples that were balanced against the edge of the bra so that they were entirely visible. I was standing in heels, one hip cocked wearing a haunted rabbit mask and a toy gun (that looked real) in the other hand. But it turned out nice either way. My make up hadn't taken away from my actual appearance and the lingerie was incredibly flattering. I was terrified to give those to Maitimo. I wasn't sure how he would receive them.

"I am honored that you have chosen to gift this to me," Maitimo said after a long while of observing the pictures. "I shall treasure them accordingly."

I giggled nervously. Him being sweet and cordial was nice and all. But I wanted something more...something that validates this pictures. Yea I know that I shouldn't seek validation from a man but this was the boldest I have ever been. 

"Yea," I cleared my throat, disappointed.

"Did you keep those outfits?"

"Some," I admitted. "Not the corsets though. They were a hassle to get into anyways."

He gently gathered the pictures, setting them back into the teapot and closing it, taking the teapot and teddy tiger, walking with them back into his room. He was gone for a long while. I got off the stool, standing there, playing with my fingers nervously, waiting for him to come back and say something, anything.

Soon enough, he was back, standing in front of me. I kept my head bowed, not willing to meet his gaze. Was there judgement there? I was kind of starting to regret these photos. 

"Listen, Maitimo, you don't have to keep them to make me feel better. I--well, I thought they were nice but everyone is different."

"What are you saying?" he sounded perplexed. "I really like the gift. Especially the pictures. A paradox when given with a tea kettle and stuffed toy."

I laughed at the dryness of his humor, grateful for some comic relief. Even now still I couldn't look at his eyes and see his reaction or expression. It was just so intimate. 

"Which one did you like the most?" I asked him nervously. "I liked the one with the black lace."

"I liked all of them," he scoffed at me disdainfully, as though I had the nerve to have a preference, swaggering towards me with an attractive wiggle to his hips. I met him halfway there, appreciating the way his hand gripped my butt, squeezing me tight and leading us to the couch. 

"But what if?" I insisted. "Tell me please." 

Maitimo took a brief moment to think. "The teal colored dress. I liked you legs and your nipples in it. And I certainly liked seeing that bit of wetness there." I flushed red at the choice and rationale. It was one of my more modest pieces, but the air, pose, and 'vulgarity' of it made up for it. I could see why he liked it. He gently stroked my slit through the pants, making me giggle in shock." And the rabbit mask one, where you are holding a gun. Definitely unlike you. But I liked it. Badass."

I squirmed away, his hands becoming frisky. "What about the date?" Back on track now.

"Tomorrow sound good?" He asked. "Casual."

I nodded, tilting my head back when he nipped at my throat. "Ok, sounds good," I sighed. "I made good food today."

"We can reheat," he countered quickly., maneuvering me so that I was thrown over his shoulder so suddenly that I yelped. I wrapped my arms, upside down, around his waist, yelping and giggling in alarm. He was too strong for his own good. I felt as if I were about to fall.

"Not now," I yelped when he had begun to shimmy down my tights on the bed. "We have to eat first, right?"

With half-lidded eyes, Maitimo stared me down with what had to be the most seductive and predatory look I have ever seen. It was enough to make me blush to my roots. "Ha, don't tease me, Priscilla."

Heat flared in different places when he said my name. "Maitimo!" I was breathless but I found myself taking off my shirt. I was bare underneath, I had chosen to forgo the bra. It was uncomfortable to wear one when I was indoors. Half the time Maitimo didn't mind. He didn't mind when he was always touching them and squeezing them at any given opportunity. Now was no different. I cried out when he bit down hard on one nipple.

Not long after our intense foreplay, I was gripping the the pillows above me, my hips and meet his thrusts. Sensation was amazing. I was already so wet. I wasn't sure why I was deluding myself into thinking that I couldn't reheat the food later when I had this waiting for me. Maitimo was a skilled person in general. He picked up languages like the common flu. He was already half-way proficient in portuguese and he often engaged me in conversations that were intermediately fluent. Anything he touched, he transformed into something beautiful. Precious metals were no exceptions. He fought so skillfully that no martial arts expert or movie stunt could ever pull of the fluid grace and lethality of his movements. His lovemaking was just as amazing. I was lucky that I had him as a lover and partner. 

I never ate the supper that I prepared that night. I had taken a long nap, only to be woken up by Maitimo, gently kissing me and thanking me for the meal that I had prepared. "Want to eat some?" he asked me, gently wiping the gript from my eyes. I could see his eyes glowing in the dark. I gently shook my head. "After, ok?"

"Now," he insisted, lifting me up by scooping my shoulders. I pressed my body against his. He was scorching against my torso. That felt good. I had cooled off considerably after the sweat that I broke with him. 

"A few more minutes," I tried falling back asleep. 

Maitimo let me sleep.

*

I woke up to soft voices murmuring outside of my bedroom. I faintly recognized the language being spoken. It was the language that Maitimo spoke, Quenya, he called it. It was pretty, a lot of '-th' and '-k' sounds that happened. His voice was marginally different when he spoke it. It was deeper and smoother, as if it was a language he has known his whole life and learned nothing else but that language but I knew he had to know at least five other languages from what I gathered, at least 2 of them were the same language but a different dialect. He was so smart. It made me proud to be with someone like him.

I didn't understand what he said but I heard the voices quieten. He probably heard me wake up. I learned long ago that listening to him speak his language was a rare treat. He had told me that he could sense me stirr in my sleep and regain consciousness from my sleep. So he didn't continue speaking beyond that. At first I was hurt at his own lack of trust in me but then I realize that it was in consideration to the family members he conversed with, who did trust me as Maitimo did. I figured that on my own the hard way.

I stood up, expecting a gush of hot liquid to gush from me but that never came. Maitimo was considerate enough to clean me after each time. Normally I wouldn't let him do it because that was embarrassing. But today I was really tired and I had gone to sleep the moment he let me.

I slipped on my day clothes and walked to the washroom, sitting down and peeing. After cleaning myself some more, I checked my appearance in the mirror. My hair was hideous and I had dried up drool on the side of my mouth. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, tying my hair up in French braid. I swiped on some mascara and lipstick, gently shaping my eyebrows. I looked better now, more refreshed. Even though I figured everyone knew the bad, bad things that Maitimo did to me every night, I liked to still be presentable.

I walked into the living room, surprised to find Turgon and Fingon there. I never usually saw them both at one time. But now that they were sitting next to each other, the similarity was uncanny. Turgon was taller than Fingon. But not taller than Maitimo. They might have been the same height. He was slimmer than both Maitimo and Fingon. Fingon was quiet buff, relatively.

"Hello," I greeted. "Sorry to interrupt your conversation. I'm just gonna head out. There are some things that I need to buy."

I picked up my jacket, slipping on my shoes.

"Is there anything you guys need? Some protein juice or something," my last suggestion was a personal joke of mine. They were just so effortlessly muscled. It was kind of funny.

"Nothing, thank you," Fingon said flatly. Turgon echoed his sentiment, less harshly. Maitimo politely declined.

"Alright then, see you guys later," I said, checking my pockets for my wallet, bus card, and keys. I picked up my grocery bags and just as I was about to open the door, Maitimo's voice stopped me.

"You need a ride?"

I looked at him, giving him a grateful little smile and shaking my head. "It will be really quick. The store is only a bus ride away."I quickly waved goodbye and locked the door.

The bus ride to the store was kind of long. But I had a shopping list in mind prepared. I was in desperate need for tampons and birth control. I was also craving sweet potatoes and sushi. But going to a restaurant for that was far more expensive than my budget allowed. Making it at home was cheaper. I picked up the ingredients and dressings for it, and a few choices of protein that I knew Maitimo enjoyed. I took my time shopping, wandering around and doing whatever. Damn, I forgot my phone. Oh well. I paid for my items and just as I was about to leave, my bus time passed. The next bus was in 30 minutes.

Damn.

Whatever. I wasn't pressed. It gave Maitimo time to talk with his cousins. I knew that sometimes I kind of invaded their privacy by living with him so I didn't want to be that pesky kind of room mate. Besides, I technically didn't pay rent so I didn't have much say in how I was supposed to feel about how I percieved their attitude towards me.

"Priscilla?" I looked up. Infront of the bus stop was my coworker. I didn't really know his name. I only knew that he was a store manager on the floor where I worked. I blinked at him, glancing at the advancing bus behind him. It wasn't the bus I intended to take but I was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to do that. I felt awkward.

"Yes? Hello, how are you?" I greeted. I didn't remember his name. I don't recall being introduced to him in the first place.

"Need a ride?" he offered. I began to say no.

"Aww c'mon!" he said and I gulped, glancing at the bus that stood directly behind him. The bus driver looked on with displeasure.

"Alright," I squeaked meekly. I got in reluctantly, thanking him. I didn't like how he pressured me like this.

"So where do you live?" he asked me. No way was I going to give my full addresss to him. I gave him an address close to where I live.  
He inserted it into the GPS and he drove. For the longest time, he kept talking about his work and his ex girlfriend. I wasn't sure how that concerned me but for the sake of politeness, I replied and gave my appropriate responses here and there.

"Listen, drop me off here," I pointed to the side of the road. "My boyfriend gets jealous when he sees me with other guys."  
I kind of regretted saying that because immediately, his face contorted into deep displeasure. "Sounds like a douchebag. You got a boyfriend?"

"Yes," I said shortly. "He is kind and respectful. I get jealous when I see him with other girls too." This was said defensively.

"Chill, I get you," now I was annoyed. I didn't even get angry and he was telling me to 'chill'? Wow, OK.

"Thanks for the ride anyways," I said. "You don't have to. I enjoy taking the bus sometimes too."

"Just trying to be a good guy here."

"You are," I falsely assured him. With that, I turned and walked out of the car with my groceries. "Thanks again."

I walked away from the car, trying my hardest not to look back. I didn't want to seem on edge. I have seen him around, chatting with the technicians. But I didn't realize that he knew me. He must have read my name tag. I was probably overrreading the situation. He was just being nice and I was just being prissy with him. I started to feel guilty. Maybe I should have been more gracious.

I turned the corner and walked to where my apartment/house/workshop was. The garage was empty so they must have left. I quickly opened the door to the apartment and made to walk up the stairs but all of a sudden, I was yanked back by my hair hard enough to be thrown on the floor. I was in so much shock that I didn't realize that it was my coworker who did that. I stared in horrified shock at his face above mine.

"Is this the fucking thanks I get for driving you?" He demanded cruelly. "You walk around work, shaking that fucking ass of yours as if every man has perfect self-control? Bitch you should be flattered."

I was in shock. It was as if someone drenched me in iced water and stole my vocal cords. I couldn't even scream. Was this the same person who was so genial and generous? The same guy who offered me a ride?

"I know you are lying about your boyfriend. You don't have a boyfriend, the guy that picks you up is your neighbor. What makes you think that you are worth my interest? You think I care if you have a boyfriend? It is so insulting that you thought I would believe you, huh. You are so fucking ugly and so fucking far. You should be flattered that I am even thinking of you like this. Don't worry, I'll make sure the lights are closed."

Those words broke my heart, my confidence, and my self-autonomy beyond repair. I briefly rose to struggle but he held me down in such a way that I could hardly stirr. Not to mention I could feel the back of my head pound with nearly unbearable pain.

"Help," I croaked weakly when I found my voice, trying to push his hands away when they began unbuttoning my blouse. "No, please stop. Please. Please. Stop, stops, pleasepleasepleaseplease. Don't do this!"

I was begging and begging and all I could see was his snarling, displeased face.

And then he was lifted off of me. Above me was the Maitimo's tall, familiar figure, holding the coworker by the collar. His feet were flailing helplessly. I was shaking so violently I couldn't even move. I was crying in relief.

I saw Turgon's face come in my vision. There was faint lines of worry along with the hardness of his face.

"I have concussion," I slurred weakly, black spots in my vision. "Don't move me."

I moaned weakly when I heard the sounds of flesh hitting flesh. I could hear my coworker screaming in pain. The sounds were distressing but I could do no more than lie in a shaking puddle of fear. 

"Take that outside, Maitimo," Turgon ordered. "Do not kill him." 

"No need," Maitimo grunted. I could see his figure rise up in my blurry vision. "I am finished with that--" 

I didn't get to hear the expletive. It was in a different language. 

Maitimo face came in my vision again. I was so happy to see him, I could feel tears streaming down my face. "I got you some duck to cook." 

Of all things that I could have said. But it sounded so right to say, especially when his entire face softened. "Thank you, Priscilla." 

"And a face mask," I added. I was really excited to use them today after our date, whenever that was supposed to be. It was not going to be today for sure. 

"Where does it hurt?" Maitimo deflected my nonsensical statements. 

"The back of my head," I slurred. 

Another expletive. 

"I'll be fine," I insisted guiltily. "I just need to nap." 

"This will be her sedlcond head injury in a matter of weeks," Maitimo informed Turgon. "I need to get her to a hospital." 

"I'll drive." 


	10. Chapter 10

I was starving. I was thirsty. And I had a headache that felt like a thousand bulldozers that decided to drop down on me. The events of how all of that came to be just made everything ten times worse. How was I never aware of a literal creep stalking me and surveilling my every move? I guess it was something about me that attracted the worst in people. First it was Andrew, then it was Big jizz, and now it was that coworker. I never invited the attention of any of those men. But I still happen to find myself in unfortunate situations with them. I was sick of myself.

I groggily opened my eyes. I was back in Maitimo's room. I guess I never did go to the hospital after all. It was fine either way. I don't think I passed out from hitting my head lightly. I passed out from the horror flick of it all. I got off the bed, my bladder as hard as an apple. On the nightstand was a bundle of neatly folded clothes and iced orange juice. I sniffed lightly before downing the orange juice, popping an icecube in my mouth and letting it melt there. What happened to that coworker? Whatever. If he died in a ditch I would be none the happier. I limped to the ensuite, my legs sore from lack of movement. The moment I entered the washroom, I locked the door and turned on the bath. I could use a shower right about now. And a meal. 

I showered away the dirtiness that I felt until my skin was raw from scrubbing and the scorching water. I felt nasty. The kind of nasty that transcended dirt. Eugh. At least nothing happened. Why couldn't it be the nice, normal guys who were attracted to me? The type that acknowledged that I had a boyfriend and did not approach me at all out of respect for me, Maitimo, and themselves? I read about those guys all the time, I even watched them in my sappy K-dramas. I violently shut the water and hopped out of the shower, making myself dizzy for a second before regaining balance. I dried myself off and put on my clothes, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked...starved. I looked feral and hungry. There were terrible, dark circles beneath my eyes and my skin seemed so colorless. May lips were pale and my cheeks were devoid of color, even after that scorching bath that I took. I sighed, applying my lotion. I looked as if I had too much extra skin on. Ew. I put on some eye concealer and mascara, swiping my lips with tinted gloss and braiding my hair. I looked better. Maybe a little bit of blush won't harm...that's better. When I finally looked at myself in the mirror, I tried smiling, flinching when I saw my teeth. They needed a brush. i wiped off my gloss and got to aggressively brushing my teeth till my gums bled. And then I cried. I just felt awful. What was this image I was putting up? It wasn't for me. It was for Maitimo, who was always so perfect and composed. Would he care that I looked bleak and defeated? I cared that he saw me like that. So I took a deep breath and applied lipstick this time. And some dark eyeshadow at the base of my eyelids. 

I looked better. Knowing that I looked better will be the only way to make me feel good now. I undid my braid and fluffed my curls. Yes, I looked much better. With that in mind, I slipped my slippers on and walked straight to pick up my phone. I had a few missed calls--it's been two whole days. What the actual fuck? How long was I out? How did I not realize I was dead to the world for two whole days? Most of the missed calls were from my work. One was from my manager, in empathetic tones, telling me to take the week off with pay, and that Michael, I guess it was that dude's name, was now fired with assault charges piling on him. I guess Maitimo must have informed them when they wouldn't stop calling. 

I quickly sent a short text thanking her and apologizing for the inconvenience before going to check my emails. Ahh,the county's office sent me an encrypted email. I opened it with a few security questions, already knowing who it concerned. Andrew. The court decision was to give him eight months jail time and three years probation. It was disappointing to see, but I honestly did not even expect such a generous sentence. Afterall, his family wielded ridiculous amounts of influence and the only reason that they weren't coming after me was because I had explicitly wielded my right as a victim to keep my identity private. So they didn't know who I was. Well...I guess I couldn't be too disappointed. It was on his record for the rest of his life so I wasn't too worried that he would ever become as successful as his parents, or even the lowest clerk at his parent's conglomerate. 

I turned off my phone, walking into the kitchen and finding Maitimo was absent, but there was neatly arranged dishes, with tempting aromas and nice visual presentations. On the counter was a small note; 

_Drink, eat, and come downstairs._

Ok, no problems. 

I kept the note with me because this was the first time I had ever seen Maitimo's handwriting. Usually all his documents were in print, or they were just drawings and shadings. There was also usually letters and numerals in a language that I did not understand. But seeing his handwriting in English was strange and flattering. It was neat.

The brunch that Maitimo had prepared was beans, hard boiled eggs, and croissantes. It was so thoughtful of him to cook for me. I never really did taste his cooking. He wasn't someone who cooked often. Finrod had once mentioned that Maitimo used to cook for his siblings in his youth before his responsibilities made it impossible to do more than eat finger foods prepared by others. I was kind of nervous as to how it would taste, but it tasted good. I smiled, all my negativity melting. Those little acts of caring on his side were starting to get dangerous. I was about to fall so deeply in love with that man, I already knew that my heart would be irrevocably shattered when he inevitably left. He ruined me for other guys. He set the bar so high, that it was almost despicable to try and compare other guys to him. The thought was saddening, but not saddening enough to make me lose my appetite. I hadn't eaten in two days. I was starving. 

I ended up demolishing everything. I cleaned up and walked downstairs to Maitimo's workstation, being careful not to enter the 'actual' work station where all the heat happened. But I managed to find him. He was in his study part of the workshop, where all the manifestations of his design happened. 

"Maitimo?" I said, surprising myself with how hoarse I sounded. He looked up, setting down his pen and holding out his hand. I answered his beckon, seating myself on his lap when he urged me gently.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, thank you for breakfast, it was lovely," I said, pressing a kiss to his jaw and breathing him in. He smelled like his workshop, musk, and grass. None of the scents were particularly appealing to me, individually. But on him, they were like aphrodisiac.

"That--is in custody," Maitimo informed me, his voice getting hard at the mention of my assailant. There it was, that word again. The swear word. I never caught it. I wasn't going to ask what it meant because it sounded really bad coming from Maitimo.

"Good," I said. "Andrew, remember him? He got eight months in prison and three years probation."

Maitimo's brows scrunched together into a hard frown. "That is not nearly a fraction of what he deserves."

"But it is what he got," I said. "I expected that to happen. His family is too rich. It will be even shorter if he behaves. Anyways, he isn't my concern anymore. He will never be able to get successful in society when he gets out. He is already a registered sex offender," I got a lot of satisfaction from saying that outloud. 

"A good perspective to take," Maitimo said dryly, as though that was not the best perspective.

"It's something," I said. 

"You want to talk about what happened?" he finally asked when we sat in each other's silence for a bit. I thought about it. He already knew what happened. I already knew how it felt. What was the point in talking about it? 

"No," I finally shook my head. "I'll get over it. That is the good thing about growing up. You begin to forget things."

When I was younger I used to be badly bullied at school. My weight, my lack-lustre looks, and my general lack of intelligence made me a juicy target. I didn't remember the names or faces of the girls that made my life miserable. I only remembered the little things that they did to me that made it all hurt. I used to run home to my parents, in tears, hurt and humiliated. My parents were apathetic and told me that I should get over it. My teachers were even more apathetic. One teacher, my least favourite teacher, even to this day, after taking the side of my bullies in front of their parents in a stupid tassel between us kids, had told me that when I grow up, I'll begin to forget these things, so I shouldn't get riled up over it now. He was right. I didn't forget the pain and how it made me feel, but I forgot these people. They used to be the features of my nightmares for years before I learned to 'discard' those memories. 

I'll get over all of this soon, just like I did that. I just needed to learn to make more good memories, with people who appreciated me and loved me.

Maitimo was didn't respond to me. Instead, he sighed softly before pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I owe you a date, remember?"

I chuckled. It was so hectic, I totally forgot. "Yea. Do you have something in mind?"

Maitimo didn't answer me right away. Instead, he settled for pressing kisses to my collarbones and on my neck. My eyes rolled backwards. His lips were warm and soft. I felt some heat building up. 

"Everytime we try to go on a date," Maitimo began, "It gets interrupted somehow. I want our next one to be smooth. That is why in the next one, you will stay with me all day long."

All day long? Hmmm...not a bad prospect. I just wasn't sure what to expect. He used to be attached to me 24/7, especially in the beginning of our 'acquaintance,' for reasons that were less-than-noble. I knew what to expect then; a hawk-ish watch system, threats and snide remarks, all the good works. Now that trust was fostered, and we began a mutually beneficial relationship, we haven't properly spent a full day together, even on days that we were both there to share. Our conversations didn't usually last long before our clothes came off.

"We can go make soaps," I finally suggested. It was a stupid idea. But I really liked soaps, and there was this place down town that allowed people to make their own soaps and figures, and even mold them how they liked. I think Maitimo would enjoy that. "I want to plan that part. We can do that in the morning. After we can walk around for a bit, or something."

Maitimo smirked, "Alright."

It was probably going to cost me an arm but it didn't hurt. 

"Then actually go to the movies after and watch that movie that you have been wanting to see," Maitimo said, " And then we can go at a really nice restaurant and eat, before we go home."

I flushed at that. I already knew what he meant. Yes. I liked that build up. "I'll get started on planning," I jumped excitedly from his lap. I was ready to go start planning. I was excited for soaps.

Maitimo gave my butt a gentle squeeze, gently pressing a kiss to my the nape of my neck as he stood up. "Use my card."

He held up a black, metal feeling card--oh no. "No, that is my part, I want to do it."

I quickly took his card, putting it in his pocket and hurrying away. He could easily make all my bad feelings melt.

*

I was wearing a pretty tank top with a white cardigan and orange pants. My shoes were vans and I even had on my silliest pair of bumblebee sunglasses perched on my head to complete the aesthetic. I was smiling so widely, I never felt so good in months. "Are you ready?"

Maitimo slowly absorbed my appearance, pausing at my bumblebee sunglasses before slowly smiling. "You look like a flower garden."

"Yes," I nodded. "I wanted to look stylish tacky today."

"A good goal to have in mind," Maitimo said somberly, helping me put on my coat and holding out his hand. I took it, my heart turning into a puddle of warmth when he kissed the back of it. I wrapped my arm around his waist, walking us both to the car. 

"You want to drive?" Maitimo offered me the keys and I recoiled nervously. I hadn't driven in a while. I didn't trust myself, especially with his car that was so nice.

"No, you do it," I gave him a nervous smile. 

He nodded, opening the door for me and got in the other side. I pressed the address in his gps, clutching the tickets tightly. I was so excited. My heart would break if something went wrong today. 

The lady who greeted us at the entrance recoiled slightly at the sight of Maitimo and I winced. I wish people didn't gawk so openly at him. He was tall, intimidating, and with uncommon facial scars. Not to mention his hand--my mind came to a staggering halt. I didn't even think about his hand. I felt a pit of dread dig up in my stomach. But no, he would have told me if he couldn't do something. Besides, he was good with his one hand as if it was both his hands.

I handed the woman the tickets. She canned them, smiling at us, her head tilting awkwardly up at Maitimo. "You guys will be here with a small family of three. Is that alright with you guys?"

I kind of expected that. "I'm fine with that."

"Me too," Maitimo said.   
  


The family was made up of an older couple with their teenage son. They briefly glanced at Maitimo. The beauty of the teenage youth, is that they didn't care enough to gawk. Maitimo caught on to the chemistry of making soaps really quickly. My soap was stupid. I added a lot of pink and glitter. To calm the girlish effect down, I tossed in some flower petals. Maitimo's soap was pretty. He managed to make it look pretty. I had cut my soap into bars but Maitimo had taken the liberty to mold down his soap pillar into--a woman. Mortifyingly and flatteringly enough, she had the same body proportions I did. He captured everything from my stomach to breasts. He didn't add the embarrassing details of nipples and such other fun things but I was surprised that this was how I looked to him. I looked a lot better than I thought I would. I laughed when he presented it to me.

"That--wow, you are too good. I didn't know you could do that," I was flattered. I was looking at my body in the lovely marbling of varying shades of blue and teal, with veins of gold streaked through, some in such a way that it showed my stretch marks. This was like the pottery version of nudes. It was much more flattering.

"My mother was a pioneer in such arts. All of my brothers learned," Maitimo explained, slowly carving a small, eight-point star in the center of my chest for the added effect. I had seen that symbol before. it was on the bracelet that Maitimo gave me, it was on most of his expensive belongings, and I was sure that it was tattooed on the base of his spine. I would have to ask him about that later.

"That is lovely," the instructor said, giving Maitimo's product an appreciative smile. "Not often that we get artists like you."

"Thank you," Maitimo said, taking one of my bars and sniffing it. "Raspberries," he noted, giving me a soft smile. 

"What's yours?" I asked, sniffing his. "Sea salt?"

"Yea," he murmured. 

Maitimo go his soap put in a box so that it wasn't ruined. I wrapped my eight bars of soap in individual gift paper. I was planning to gift some to my aunt and uncle. After we left, we put our soaps in the car and wandered downtown, aimlessly, for a while, just walking and talking. I was absolutely enjoying myself. I never saw Maitimo smile so much as he did today.

In the end we spent a longer time than I anticipated in that class. By then the family had long departed and we were still making soaps and laughing. The instructor lady left us well enough alone and when we were done, we cleaned up and left. 

We placed our soaps in the back seat of our car and drove on to the theater, laughing and conversing. I was absolutely enjoying myself. I was drunk on happiness. The pain of what happened to me was a distant memory now. We watched the movie together. It was quiet popular, we barely got our seats in. I was already tired. The theatre was dark and cool, and I found myself dozing off on Maitimo's chest, who had one hand on my knee. Still, I absolutely enjoyed that movie. I had a blast just being with Maitimo.

"Tired?" he asked me once we got out. I yawned.

"Yea," I said, grinning up at him. "I enjoyed dreaming about the movie," I joked and he laughed, bringing me a little closer as we walked. We walked around the theater complex for a while, going to walk next to the lake where all the tourists were. It was almost sunset and the light made Maitimo that much more gorgeous. I found myself staring at him more often than not.

"Like what you see?" Maitimo asked me when we settled down on a bench. I grinned at him sheepishly. "Of course, your hair is making me jealous."

Maitimo smirked, his hand going around and cupping the back of my neck. I laughed nervously, my eyes glancing at the people around us. No one paid attention to us. But if Maitimo was going to kiss me here, I couldn't guarantee that I would keep it PG.

Just as he was about to close in on my lips, he swerved lightly and pressed a kiss to my nose. "That is totally unfair."

"Nothing in life is fair," he said somberly, but the wicked gleam in his eyes gave away his seriousness as he helped me me off the high bench and walking us back to his car. Just as I was about to cross the sidewalk, Maitimo pulled me back, and I face palmed into his chest. 

"Ouch," I whimpered, pulling away and glaring at him. He was glaring at something behind me. When I turned my head, I could see that a motorbike guy had zoomed past me, so close, with a flipped license plate. Ahh.

"Thanks," I grumbled sheepishly, pausing in horror to stare at the russet lipstick stain I left on the lower chest of his shirt. "Oh no."

I looked up in his eyes, my face morphed in regret. I probably looked so silly, and him, even sillier. It was a nice shirt too, the button-up one. The shape of my lips, ridiculously well drawn on his t-shirt, was embarrassing. I raised my hand to wipe it off. That's it, this is the last time I will wear lipstick, no matter how much I like it. But his hand stopped me, holding me by my wrist in place, lowering it.

"Don't fret about that," Maitimo said, looking at me softly.

"Right then," I cleared my throat, looking away. "Come on then, let's go."

We ended up returning to his car. It was starting to cool a little as the night wore on anyways. I tugged on the extra jacket that I carried with me and just as I was about to tug it on, Maitimo's hand came and gently swiped at my bottom lip. My heart came to a screeching halt that set my brain spinning like a headless chicken. 

"Why did you do that?" I stuttered breathlessly, shocked. He never really did intimate things like that in public. It didn't matter that we were in a car. In fact he barely touched me above the wrist. Touching my lips like that--he might as we have reached out and fingered me. 

"Your lipstick was smudged," he informed me, his face carefully black, but his pupils blown, till there was only a thin ring of green around his pupils.

"Thanks," I mumbled breathlessly, quickly opening the mirror compartment and checking my lips. Sure enough there was a small smudge there. I quickly wiped it away, wondering how I was going to survive the night like that. Especially when Maitimo was being like this. I was not expecting that. I was absolutely charmed. 

We eventually wandered around, just window shopping and doing non-exciting things. Christmas was just around the corner so christmas lights all over the streets were giving a lovely ambiance. I never really cared much for christmas. My parents were big about it so every year we prepared a whole feast. The gift sharing thing was too much of a western concept for us to comprehend. So I admired stupid things from afar, not really desiring them for myself. I was pretty neutral about things like that. I never actually _wanted_ anything. I don't even _want_ to be a nurse, or anything else for that matter. But one thing I did want was to maintain my standard of living that I had grown up with.

"Did you want to try the pastries?" I asked him, pausing at the window, watching some chocolate lava cakes unfold from the t.v. advertisement in front of the store.

"Sure," Maitimo said after a moment's thought and I paused. Maitimo wasn't really big on sweet things. He liked hard liquor and meats. I quickly swerved directions. "Actually, this place also has meat pies. We can share the sweets if you like."

"Fine with me," Maitimo seemed more amiable to the idea. He opened the door for me, ducking in behind me and keeping one hand on my lower back. I purchased a chocolava from the lady and two meet pies to go. I gave Maitimo both meat pies because unlike him, I wasn't big on meat. I liked a well-balanced meal.

"Tastes good," Maitimo said, putting the pie closer to me so I can take a bite. I took a small piece, careful not to put my lipstick on it. it did taste good. But I already overate on popcorn. 

"Yea," I nodded.

"Wanna take pictures together at the photobooth?" Maitimo asked me softly. I looked to where he was looking and saw that there was a photobooth with a small line up. That was really thoughtful of him. We didn't have many pictures together as a couple. 

"That is a lovely idea," I was pleased. It was a good day for me to take a picture. I had no acne and my makeup was beautiful tonight, I even managed to curl my hair.

Into the booth we went. People gave Maitimo wide berth. It was sometimes useful to have a partner with such an intimidating appearance.

I paid for 20 pictures, which was a lot, but 10 each was enough for both of us. I just wanted a bookmark. It was expensive as hell though. But it was a nice treat so whatever.

We got in the booth, both of us smiling in the first picture. We spoke to each other in between pictures, making silly faces sometimes, and other times Maitimo pressing a kiss to my lips for a photo. Eventually, we got back the photos, warm and printed. Somewhere black and white, others were in full color, and others were in a variety of other filters. Both of us were a lovely color in all photos. We were smiling brightly, and some poses I don't even remember taking. 

"You look great Maitimo," I gushed, absolutely thrilled as I stared at his scarred face, smiling and sinfully handsome, with his ears sticking out from under his fishing hat. "I want this one, you look cute in this photo."

"Look mommy, Santa's elf is a giant!" A small child's voice called. When we both turned around, the little boy's arm fell as his face. He probably didn't expect Santa's giant elf to have so many scars. The mother in question flushed with mortification, dragging her son away on an apology.

"Santa's elf is not something I would usually get termed," Maitimo said dryly, tucking the pictures in his coat pocket. 

"What are your usual terms?" I asked him playfully, wondering. Was it Lord? General?

"Prince," Maitimo said casually. "Feanorian."

Oh...lol, ok. I laughed, a little incredulously, before pressing a kiss to his arm that I could reach. "Come on,then, Prince. Let's go home. I want you."

*

We never got to go to a fancy restaurant. But it was a good ending to my day. I forced Maitimo to hide the naked figure of soap that he made of me, and made him vow to never use it. The idea of his hands stroking the likes of my body for some bubbling soap made me ridiculously embarrassed. 

"And don't show it or put it on display," I warned him. 

"Then what is the purpose of it," he was confused. I quickly turned around, rolling my eyes at him. I picked up a few pieces of clothing along the way. 

"I don't know," I laughed it off nervously. "You made it. I don't want _Fingon_ knowing what I look like without clothes."

"He has no such interest," Maitimo scoffed. "He has not been attracted to anyone for a millenia."

No need to exaggerate, damn. "Still, Maitimo."

"You are a beautiful woman, Priscilla. You may not see it as such. You do not see things as I do."

"Appreciate it," I gave him a sweet smile, folding away the clothes. "But my beauty was not a reason that you decided to get with me."

"Your beauty is something that I noted briefly before I had to force your silence," Maitimo said bluntly, dragging me back to him but my bra strap, nearly undoing my bra. I let out a surprised giggle, slapping his hnads away. "There were other interesting things about you."

"Like what?" I was curious.

"Like how your stretch marks were longer than my cock," Was that a sense of humor coming from Maitimo? I remembered saying that to him in the heat of the moment. They weren't really. But it was satisfying to say it. 

"A gross overstatement," I laughed undoing my bra for his gaze before putting the clothes away and taking out a towel. "I was thinking about piercing my nipple."

It was a sudden announcement. I wasn't really considering it. Not seriously at least. i just thought it might look nice. I turned to face Maitimo, to gauge his reaction. He was looking at me, half strangely and half speculatively. 

"That's sudden," he noted, his gaze sliding to the nipples in question. He reached out, gently cupping the underside of one breast, his thumb stroking my nipple, I gasped at the sensation, recoiling slightly. "Are you asking for my permission?"

"Opinion," I corrected. He thought about it. 

"It's definitely an added kink," he said thoughtfully. The term 'kink' was strange coming from him. It was as if such vulgarity was not suited for him. I was also surprised that he knew the word. While there were things that he understood about my world, there were plenty more that he didn't understand. 

"What piercing will you use then?" Maitimo asked, sitting down on the bed and pulling me on top of him. I thought about it, faintly aware of his hardness against me. I was surprised that he would be invested in the idea of me getting a nipple piercing. His hand reached out and stroked the earring on my lobe. I was wearing a ring-earring. "Something like this?" 

I thought about it, maybe... "It's not even a solid idea yet. I was just like... Thinking about it you know." 

Maitimo studied my face carefully. "You look beautiful either way. If you decide to go through with it, let me know and I will make something nice for you."

My jaw dropped in shock; "Maitimo, no! You don't have to."

"I want only gold on you," Maitimo insisted. "Surgical steel is lowly." 

"That sounds really territorial," I joked laughingly, in the back of my mind, I didn't see an issue with it. But I didn't want it to be an issue. So maybe if I pointed that out, he would leave off on such sentiments. Maitimo gave me a curt smile, his eyes frighteningly serious. "Just forget I said anything. I'll let you know, alright?" 

He didn't say anything. He simply shimmied down my dress from my waist, pressing his lips to my collarbones. I sighed, loving the warmth of his lips. I wasn't used to the cold as he was. While I was shivering, even with my heavy overcoat, he was fine with only a thin layer. When I asked him about it, he had told me this:

"I live with many regrets," Maitimo had murmured, as he drove past the street, a light with festive lights and people smiling, even past midnight. "I had left behind those who were important to me, Fingon, Finrod, and Turgon being a few of those, behind in an icy waste, to get where I was. This cold is our Northern Summer."

I blinked at him, shocked at how grim he seemed speaking about this. It sounded as though this was a really dark chapter of his life. I was curious about it but I didn't know how he would take to my probing questions. "Wow, you don't get hot summers?" I asked him lightly, my heart in my mouth. Maitimo shook his head. 

"No," he murmured. "But our winters are much, much colder."

"How do you even survive?" I scoffed, trying to make a joke about frigid weather but Maitimo turned to me, his face the grimmest that I had ever seen it. His eyes were dead and his face was gaunt, even in the festive ambiance that the christmas lights provided.

"Most of us do not," he said, making a turn. 

I blinked, my memory vanishing and I was back in the bedroom with Maitimo. I gasped lightly when he took one nipple between his teeth, gently bearing down.

"Maitimo," I began hesitantly after I accepted a kiss from him. "Do you want to talk about it? It sounds like this was a really tough time for you."

Maitimo pulled back, studying my face with his abnormally bright eyes, especially in the dark. "My hardship is a burden that I do not wish any other would carry."

I gave him a weak smile. I couldn't press him and say I was different. I was the same. But had to try. His melancholy was like a thundercloud. Even in his happiest moments, it was as if he couldn't differentiate himself from it. I noticed it was similar with the rest of the men as well; Fingon, Finrod, and Turgon. They all had this darkness to them, though none more than Maitimo.

"But it makes you so said all the time," I gave him a trembling smile. 

"What of your troubles?" he asked me, stroking my back lovingly. I slumped.

"My troubles are silly," I said. "Nothing compared to yours."

"But they are still important," Maitimo insisted.

"I'll tell you if you tell me," I compromised. "We can heal each other."

Maitimo gave me a grim little smile. "We can try."

*

"I don't know if there is anything to talk about," I finally said when Maitimo insisted that I go first. 

"What made you think that it was ok to eventually forget about your pain?" Maitimo asked me, stroking my wrist. 

I explained to him the reason, and after wards, I was embarrassed. "My childhood was not happy. As I distanced myself from my parents more, the happier I became. And the closer I became to them. It is silly, I know. Studying in America was a good way to rebuild my relationship after eighteen years."

"Why have they never defended you?" Maitimo sounded disturbed. 

"I don't know," I laughed a little. "I wasn't really something both of them wanted. I know they really wanted a boy but my mother didn't want any more children despite all that. They didn't really care about me."

A small memory came to mind. At the time it was really traumatic but now I kind of laugh about it. I relayed it to Maitimo, who listened patiently. I didn't expect him to laugh but as I explained what happened, I started to realize how unfunny it was. I was around twelve at the time. For a few weeks some strange man kept coming up to me and talking to me as I walked back from school. My parents never really expended any life lessons on me and my nanny didn't speak the language. So I never knew that it was dangerous to speak to strangers. He had invited me into his car. He never dropped me off at my house like I asked him to. Instead, he took me far off were there were older girls in skimpy bikinis and molten makeup all over them. One of them had escaped and I had followed her because I was really scared. She had dropped me off in the general area where I lived and had driven off. I was gone for two days and my parents never noticed. 

That is how I narrowly avoided being involved in a sex-trafficking ring. 

Maitimo was unamused. Infact, he looked vaguely concerned. "Your youth was a disturbing masterpiece of predators who actively pursued you in one way or another."

Accurately put. 

"I like to think of it as character development," I said sarcastically and he chuckled.

"I will make sure that nothing else happens to you," Maitimo said. "What happened then, and just a few days, all those moments. You won't be alone."

I gave him an appreciative smile. "I never knew how to feel about those things. They always happened at inconvenient stages, when I had impending, life-changing milestones to go through. I often forced them in the deepest parts of my mind to avoid thinking about them. When Andrew did what he did to me--" I took a shuddering breath as the memory of that awful video assaulted me. "I realized that letting myself heal at my own pace was not an option. I was so close to my finals. I had to get through it. I had already spent so much money and I already had freedom that I never had.The only thing I needed to do now was to work for a better future."

Maitimo let me speak. I never knew that this was what I needed to do. Perhaps next time something traumatic happens, I'll confide in Maitimo, though I will never know where to start. What a laughable thought.

"So you wanted to wait till you forgot it," Maitimo murmured, giving me back my words. My eyelashes fluttered tiredly. 

"It was easier to pretend to forget these things when I was alone," I was surprised at how my voice sounded. I don't think that voice belonged to me because that voice sounded so sad. "I got through in the end didn't I? I passed my exams and now I never have to see him again."

Maitimo cupped my face, one thumb stroking a cheekbone. I couldn't see anything but his eyes in the dark, but I had the eerie feeling that he could see every inch of me as clearly as if he were looking at me in the day light. 

"My coworker--I never even realized he followed me. I never realized that he was obsessed with me," I chuckled. "I used to wish that I was desirable--I know what you are thinking--I'm beautiful or whatever. But I didn't grow up like that. My parents and family never validated my looks or intelligence and the people that showed interest in me were always malicious. The people that typically desire me are bad people. You are an outlier. Maybe. You might be a bad person, but to me, you are perfect."

I turned to face him, throwing one leg over his hips. 

"I am worse than you can imagine," Maitimo scoffed hatefully. But that bitterness was directed at himself. "Being with you is a guilty pleasure. But if you knew who I truly was, and what I am truly bound to, you would not be so inclined to say such words, or even be near me like this."

I kind of guessed that was the situation. He had hinted at being a really bad person before and the title of 'Warlord' didn't come stress-free clearly. I imagine he killed a few people to get where he was. i don't know what kind of 'war' was happening in his homeland. But I guess it was bad enough for him to be a gloomy person in general. And I expressed these thoughts to him.

Maitimo scoffed at that. "And you accept the possibility so easily?"

"I'm not a goody-two-shoes myself, you know. I mean, I am not a skilled warrior like you. But I am not perfect either," I said, "I have no idea what you did."

"I am half-inclined to tell you the entire truth, just to see the moment that you realize I am right," Maitimo said dryly and I yawned.

"Tell me," I insisted. "I won't run away, on God, I promise."

In the back of my mind, a voice warned me against such a promise. I was already scared to find out and shatter the perfect image that I had of Maitimo. But I was not perfect and that thought drove me to find the courage to continue to listen to Maitimo.

"I won't ask that of you," Maitimo finally said. "But I will only ask you to keep an open mind till the end. Then you can decide whether you want to remain with me or leave me. I won't hold you back, I promise."

"If I chose to remain?" I asked him.

"I haven't thought that far ahead. I thought of it if I never told you anything. But my past puts an uncertainty on our future," Maitimo said after a moment's thought.

"If I chose to leave?"

"I am not your keeper," Maitimo said. "Who am I to force you by my side? Come what may."

My heart fluttered at his words. He was really too good. now I was really scared about the truth. 

"Would it benefit me to hear the story?"

"It might, if you chose to remain," Maitimo finally said. 

"So either way, I have to hear the story before I decide?" I asked him hesitantly and Maitimo nodded grimly. 

"It is unfair to keep you in the dark about something so important between the two of us." For the first time, in the entire duration of our relationship, from our first encounter till now, I heard fear in his voice. What was the fear from? Was he afraid of my judgement? Was he afraid of telling his own truth? Or even more unbelievably, he was afraid of losing me? Whatever it was it unsettled me but I couldn't chicken out. I was already committed to listening to him like he listened to me.

And boy did I listen. His story was long. He started from the very beginning. As in, his creation story. Or at least, the creation story of his world.

How there were fourteen 'Gods' termed the 'Valar'. How they created 2 trees in the beginning representing the sun and moon, I guess, in Valinor, the blessed Island. On a large landmass called Arda, the first of his peoples woke up. How three groups, Teleri, Vanyar, and Noldor, of his people migrated into Valinor but one group, Sindar, remained in Arda. They migrated because when they remained in Arda, one of the fourteen Valar, the evil one named Melkor who broke from their ranks, would kill them off using his servants, the orcs. He would torture them until they themselves turned into orcs.

Maitimo's grandfather was one of the few people who first woke up. He was also the only person to remarry after the death of his first wife. He became the leader of one of the three groups that Migrated to Valinor.The union of Finwe and Miriel, the first wife, brought forth Feanor, Maitimo's father. Maitimo's father was basically a God among men, even better than the Gods, arguably. So he had a pretty strong following already. He was so skilled that he created three stones, called the Silmarils, of unworldly beauty and worth that captured the light of the two trees.

Melkor saw those Silmarils and coveted them. So he killed the two trees, Finwe, and stole the silmarils, escaping to Arda. This sparked a quest for vengeance and recapturement of the Silmarils. As far as I know, Maitimo has yet to be successful in that endeavor. But he and his seven brothers were bound by oath to find them and capture those silmarils no matter what. In Maitimo's world, an oath is deeper form of binding sorcery that compels the person to achieve their vows. 

Now this is where all the strange crimes happened. To follow Melkor, Maitimo had to kill his own kin, the third group of people. There were some still alive. But it was a kinslaying nonetheless. They stole the ships of these people and traveled to Arda where on the very first battle, Feanor died. The second battle, Maitimo was captured and tortured for a hundred years until Fingon, his cousin, saved him by cutting off his hand. Things were starting to make sense. His little comments here and there were slowly starting to stitch together a follow-able masterpiece.

Of all his seven brothers, Maglor, the second, was the most sane. Celegorm, Caranthir, and Curufin were cruel and hasty, but calculative. His youngest twin brothers were zealous and young, still yet to lead their own portion of their peoples, under the tutelage of Maglor. 

The absurdity of his tale didn't click. As in, the fantastical nature of it wasn't a dubious point for me. Elves were immortal? Maitimo, Fingon, Finrod, and Turgon were all immortal? How old was he? He must have easily been over 500 years, at least. The Trees that represented galactical bodies? Not a problem to believe. Infact, it even explained why his eyes, and that of Fingon, Finrod, and Turgon, were so abnormally bright. Elves, or Eldar, depending on the people to whom the reference was made, could be tortured and turned into those awful creatures? Believable because I saw them on more than one occasion. it was difficult to believe that they were once like Maitimo, Finrod, and Fingon. Fourteen Gods with weird super powers? Believable. Even more believable that one of them turned into the bane of Maitimo's people. Because we had a similar story in Christianity, Satan the Fallen Angel. The reason why Maitimo's people turned against each other being Melkor was probably the most realistic concept to gather because in some form, even with all this fantastical-ness, earth and Arda had similar concepts. Satan turned man against one another, just as Melkor turned the Eldar against one another. They were not united so it was easy for Melkor to have the upper hand against them. Maitimo clearly realized that and in my mind, it was clear to see that even the Eldar would have realized that, but they couldn't reconcile their differences and the crimes of Maitimo and his family with one another. 

But what made this story so painful was that Maitimo, given his position and leader as the Prince of the most powerful clan of his people, had to do all that, go through all that, to be where he is right now and even so, he was no closer to fulfilling his vow. He killed his own people, under the power of his oath, yes. He was a murderer. I couldn't reconcile myself to that fact. At least, I didn't know how to. I didn't know how to comprehend it. 

"Tell me your thoughts," Maitimo urged me and I felt my heart jump in my mouth. Was that fear I felt? Of Maitimo? Possibly. After what I just heard, it wasn't difficult to imagine. How would he react if he knew that my feelings were changed now? "Be honest, I swear to you, you will have nothing from me but my protection."

This I could put a semblance of trust in. Especially seeing how _seriously_ he took his vows, to the point of bloodshed.

I took a deep breath. "I am honestly a little afraid now. I am not sure why. Maybe I am afraid of you, or what you stand for. Or maybe I am afraid of your vow that drives you to do these bad things. The fact that you murdered your own people is a heinous crime itself. But it's even worse because you were controlled by your vow."

"I told you," Maitimo said bitterly. "You had to know about this."

With a shuddering breath, I spoke. "I appreciate how hard this might have been for you to tell. It is a dark past that you probably don't want to be sharing all over, so I appreciate your trust in me. But I only ask you for time to gather my thoughts and make sure I am where I need to be with you. Is that alright with you?"

Time. That is what I needed. Nothing could go wrong with time.

"It is the only thing I can give," Maitimo sounded horribly sad. But he wasn't trying to guilt me. I slowly rose from our shared bed. I pressed a last kiss to his lips before slipping on my dress and walking to the door. 

"Is it ok if I stay here to gather my thoughts?" I asked him.

"Of course, this is your apartment as well, Priscilla."

It really wasn't but I appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. "Thank you. Thank you for being patient with me."

"I hung from the tip of a cliff for nearly 3 centuries," it was a bitter memory to him. It was a bitter feeling to me to see how much he was tortured. it physically sickened me. "Patience is my keeper."

"Thank you," I said anyways, walking out the door.

"Thank you," I could hear Maitimo say.

Who did telling the truth benefit?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Y'all are gonna hate me, but stay with me.**

It was weeks before the tension between Maitimo and I ebbed. It was still there, but it was easier to not keep it when we weren't really around each other. By then I had gotten my license certification to begin my practice as a registered nurse. For a few weeks since our last parting and conversation, Maitimo had gone on a 'mission' with his cousins. it was partly what helped me get my thoughts in order. i was grateful that he had chosen that time to go away. It helped my decisions remain unbiased. If he had stayed, I would have caved in for him and the tension between us was never going to be resolved. It would have resurfaced again, like compressed steam at astronomical amounts of pressure.

Fact check:

_Maitimo, son of Feanor, son of Finwe, was a murderer._

_His brothers were all crazy and murderous._

_His own people hate him for who he is, what he did, and what he stands for._

But that was not the Maitimo I knew. He would be judged fairly where he is from. But he is here. This is now. It sounds really bad. It felt as if I was aiding and abetting a large-scale criminal. Which I actually was. But it felt ten times worse. On a moral, ethical, sensible, lawful, realistic, and decent scale, my decision was obscene. It was thoughtless and almost a slap in the face to the victims of his crimes.

But I never had anything for myself. I never had anyone to hold me and love me. I guess you could say I had 'Daddy' issues. Or should I say, childhood trauma. I was severely deprived of physical affection and validation since my childhood. 

Maitimo and I were both alike in that respect. Now that we have something worth having, it was almost like peeling off my own skin to let it go. It wasn't right and my moral conscience was appalled. 

I really wanted to stay with him. I wanted to come home to him, where he knew I had a bad day without me saying. Receiving his regard was flattering and comforting. Because not only did it make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, it also made me feel safe, even though every single time I have been hurt, he hadn't been around to be able to help me and I knew that weighed heavy on his shoulders. 

But I knew, in my heart, I couldn't allow this to continue. Allow us to continue.

There shouldn't have been an us in the first place. Eventually he will have to go back to his world, where he has no chance at redemption, and I will be here, without him. It was easier to let go now. I just needed to leave off on good terms because in the end, I still loved him. I'd rather break my own heart than have him break it for me. It would be worse if he did it. 

I don't know if I can survive it. 

Aside from the fact that we were from vastly different spectrums of reality, we were also from vastly different social standings. I was an average, middle-class woman. I was so basic and normal that I was usually an extra in the lives of other people. I don't know how I even got close enough with Maitimo to start a sexual relationship. Maitimo was a Prince. A Crown Prince to a whole different species (even though he stepped down from that title in gratitude to Fingon from saving him, even though he had to cut his hand off). He was extraordinary.

Even if, by some weird chance, that it worked out between us, he was still subject to the people he was governing as a Prince. They would never accept me. It would be ridiculous. We were ridiculous standing next to each other. We could not be any more different physically, mentally, and emotionally. He was too tall and I was too short. He was gorgeous and I was lacklustre. 

There were many reasons that we could not be together. And all the variables that I could think of off the top of my head were variables I never thought I would have to consider when deciding what to do with someone I was thinking of spending the rest of my life with.

Not that this was ever a thought I had.

By the time I had gathered my thoughts, I had determined that it was time for me to move on and move forward. Yes. That is for the better. 

I had secured myself an apartment elsewhere. It was a little expensive but now that I had my license and certification, and a recommendation letter from my previous landlord, I was ready to move on. I just had to break the news to Maitimo.

When is he going to come back?

How would he react? Will he force me back with him to make sure I 'keep' his secret?

I was ready to offer up some dirt on myself in order for him to let me go.

I just needed to leave him before it was too late, and before I hurt myself even more. It had to be the most difficult decision I have ever made. Deciding to give up my only chance at true happiness for the sake of my consciousness was like a wake-up slap in the face. Yes, Maitimo made me incredibly happy. But my happiness was not worth the dishonor it would bring on the people he hurt, or the people he leads. 

I couldn't bring myself to betray my values for something as pitiful as my own happiness. Now I was regretting my words of unconditional love. But it didn't make my love any less sincere. I still loved him. But I couldn't betray myself like that.

I needed to end things between us, now.

*

"Were you going to tell me before you left?"

I jumped at his voice behind my back. I didn't know when to expect him back. But I had already moved my things to the new apartment that i had prepared to myself. I couldn't live here anymore if I was going to end things between us. I didn't want to live here any longer if I am going to end things between us. He was standing there, he had come through the window. His hair was tied away from his face and he was wearing his black fishing hat with a whole black ensemble. He looked so beautiful that I looked away. Looking at him already split my resolve in a solid half.

"I was going to tell you," I finally said. "I owed it to you after my hypocrisy."

"You didn't know better then."

"And now I do," I swallowed. I needed to be cold about this. But I also needed to be honest. I couldn't just lie to him and make him think he was unloveable. He truly was a loveable person. He just had the unfortunate curse of his father. A curse that I could not live with. Even without, we wouldn't have worked well together. "I love you. That has not changed. I will always loved you. But loving you would betray my values. I can't accept that. It wouldn't be asking me to change for you. It would be asking you to give up all of me and I am not strong enough to do that. I don't have a lot of me to give up for all of you, Maitimo."

He was carefully stoic, but his eyes shined a little and reddened around the edges. Unshed tears. This was affecting him too. The knowledge was a punch to my stomach. It would have been easier to say these words if he didn't care for me. I couldn't bear to hurt him.

But I had to.

"You have been so good to me. I don't think I will ever find the same happiness in anyone as I do you. You have always been my greatest love. But I can't dishonor the people that you have hurt, and the people that you lead, by staying with you," I finally said. "I also won't live long enough for you." This was said as an afterthought. He was immortal. I was not. It was like cheating him of his life.

"I would have taken all the time that you have given me," Maitimo chuckled bitterly and I blinked, dismayed to find that my tears had shed after that blink. "I would have taken it gladly and savoured every second. I would have followed you to the grave."

"Don't say these things," I choked, my voice thick with terror. The terror of losing him. The terror of my impending regret. The terror of the feeling of loss that I was already feeling deep in my heart. He was making it so difficult. "It's already so hard for me to leave you. But I have to."

"I know," he said, his green eyes on me, his brows furrowed. He looked lost. "I am sorry. I promised you that I would let you go if you chose not to stay. If it is one thing that I can keep, it is my promises." 

The last phrase was said ironically. It made cringe. "I am sorry for telling you that I would stay with you no matter what. But I am not sorry for telling you that I would love you no matter what. Because that is true. I will always love you. But I can't stay."

"I know," he murmured, finally rising from his leaning position against the window frame. "You are free to go, Priscilla. I will not hold you back."

I sniffed, feeling terribly sorry for myself. "I will also keep my promise to you, to keep everything about you and your family a secret to the grave."

Maitimo said nothing. He only studied me. I finally took a deep shuddering breath and walked towards him, holding out my hand for him to take. He gave it to me. I pressed a kiss to his knuckles, squeezing away the tears. "Good bye then."

I took off my bracelet that he gave me, pressing it into his palm. 

"That was a gift," Maitimo finally said, quickly pushing it back. "Do not dishonor it if it meant something to you."

I swallowed, accepting it back again. "Alright, I will keep it. I'll cherish it."

I turned around and walked out, to the bus stop two streets over, and out of his life forever. 

In my heart, I knew that it was the wisest decision that I have made. 

But it was not the easiest and the regret was crushing. It made my limbs feel like lead and my throat feel like sand. 

There was something inherently beautiful about Maitimo. If had taken this man apart and analyzed him, his character would have been like a machine. Highly specialized, highly sensitive, highly mechanic. In that all, he would create something altogether beautiful, something with emotion that he himself hid away. His extraordinary self was something that I could never find in anyone else, and I likely never will. He turned out alright in the end. It was what haunted him--the curse, the crown, the destiny--all of it, that forced this hardship upon us. He will always be the touchstone upon which I compare every man and woman.

And all would fall short.


	12. Chapter 12

After I had broken up with Maitimo, it was like a shadow had fallen over me. I had forced a facade of normality over myself. In a way, I did exactly what I said I would never do. I betrayed myself to keep up an image in the society I lived in. Regret haunted my every waking step, only briefly tempered by the thought of my consciousness. And then my heartache would haunt my nightmares. Every man came up short compared to Maitimo. Every woman came up short compared to Maitimo. 

Days blended into weeks.

Weeks blended into months.

Eventually, I had spent the whole year after my break up. By then I had learned to live with the heartache and I had trained myself to smile sincerely. There was no use in stopping my life for this. But it was hard not to feel so strongly. So every waking moment was spent either working or sleeping. Going to the movies or trying to make friends was a despicable chore. 

I never even had friends before. What was the point in starting to make friends now?

I visited my aunt and uncle every once in a while, just to keep face with them. But my heart was not in it. It was not in anything. I was afraid of losing my personality now. So I forced myself to volunteer for some community service, just to occupy my time even more. There was no use in thinking about Maitimo. I was a grown woman now. I couldn't afford to be hung up on a break up. Especially when I had bills to pay.

But with that logic came the argument: I have bills to pay for the rest of my life, but my happiness only came one.

It was silly to say that I could never be happy again. I still had my whole life ahead of me. But no one will ever compare to Maitimo. 

And then soon, it was already my twenty-third birthday.

"Why don't you go on dates?" Paulo asked me, trying to put together his Kinder toy that I got for him. His sister was sitting next to him, clapping her hands. "Maitimo was pretty cool, yea, but you can find cooler guys."

 _No, I really can't_. "I just don't have time right now."

Paulo looked at me, furrowing his little brow. "I guess so. You don't visit as much as you promised."

"I know, baby," I sighed. "I have a lot of work. And Maitimo is out of the picture. He is not why I am not dating."

"He is why you are not happy though," Paulo said intuitively, finally attaching the two tails together. Smart kid. "Got it."

I handed him my toy to fix. 

Was it really that obvious that I was unhappy? I thought I did such a good job at hiding it. I guess not.

"There are just somethings I wish I never did," I finally sighed, forlorn.

"Kiss Maitimo?" he suggested helpfully and I chuckled, surprised at his perceptiveness. I wish I never met him, to be more accurate, maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely now after a decision that I made. 

"No, nothing about him. I just wish I gave myself more time before going to university. So I can save up money," I sighed. "It is probably better this way, get everything out of the way quickly."

Paulo said nothing about that. "Did you see the news? There was a robbery up in the bank over there."

I perked up, mildly interested. I did hear about it, it was all over, but I didn't stickle for the details. "Oh yea?"

"The police had a shootout, they injured the bank manager."

"Oh, wow," I chuckled. "They got caught?"

Paulo snorted, "No, they are like the cowboys in the movies! These guys don't get caught."

I could only imagine the headache it would give the bank to have to retain that money for the people who it was stolen from.

"Well, I hope they get caught soon before they hurt anyone else," was all I could say on that topic.

*

Hospital work was busy. If there was anything that got my mind out of something, it was hospital work. It was too busy to allow myself to focus on something else. So it was a good distraction to have. 

The grocery store was also a good place to be distracted. As an adult, I am beginning to realize how expensive groceries are, and how wonderful they are. Buying a whole rotisserie chicken for myself to have at for the next four days was a wonderful feeling. Buying myself juice that I always wanted but never had was a wonderful sensation. 

Volunteering at the local book club was also a lovely thing to do. I got people of many different walks in life that had some sort of commendability in their personality if they took the time out of their day, as grown adults, to attend a community book club.

And then at night, I dreamt that I was back again in Maitimo's arms. The beauty and love that I felt in my dreams was a nightmare when I woke up because I was lacking it. In my dreams I am wearing a dress. I don't focus on the imagery of it, but it laces up in the front and is definitely not a dress to go out in public with. He would pull at the string of the bodice and press a kiss to my forehead, murmuring something to me that I can't decipher for the life of me. My dreams were silly too. It was always in a meadow, or inside a big tent-like structure. And he was wearing this golden band around his head, with an 8-point star in the middle. My dreams retained every single detail of him. 

In my dreams, we were always together. 

I thought about consulting a therapist for my dreams but the expense was not worth it. And my hospital insurance didn't start covering until the end of my probation. I just needed something for my nightmares.

Life was much easier with him. Life would have bee much easier if I had stayed with him. But alas, it was not to be.   
It was easier to begin hating everyone around me. Because if I wasn't so self-less and considerate and morally upright, I would have still been with him. 

Now I am just whining at this point. 

I walked back from the hospital bus stop, it was a bit of a walk to my new rented apartment. This time it was a 2-story semi-detached house. I had one half of the apartment and my neighbor had the other. Rent wasn't cheap but it was good for the location and the fact that it was out of the city.

I entered the apartment, pausing when I saw that my rug was crooked. I don't remember folding up my rug as I entered. I might have done it on accident. I simply unfolded it back in place and continued on to remove my shoes. I undid my jacket and tucked it away. I entered my living room and paused. 

It was a staggering pause.

Because when I opened the lights, there was a grown man, sleeping on my couch. Did I enter the wrong apartment? No, it couldn't be because I opened my apartment door using my own key. But there the man was, sleeping on my couch. And then I heard a click, directly behind me. 

My heart dropped to my stomach,a nd it felt like acid was gripping my heart.

"If you scream," a low, male voice began behind me, "I will stuff your head full of lead, you got it?"

I couldn't speak, I could only nodd.

"Say it, bitch," another voice said, nasally and cruel. 

"Yes--I-I-I unders-s-stand," I whimpered.

"Help him," the man behind me said, probably the one holding the gun I couldn't see. 

"What happened to him?" I asked, studying the sleeping-figure's body for any abnormalities, but I couldn't see what was wrong, he was fully decked in black.

"Don't ask, just do it," he snapped and I winced. 

"I need to know what is wrong to help him," I said, taking a deep breath an inching towards my sink, where I kept my medical supplies above the sink. I usually walked from the hospital with a few wound-care supplies that were gonna be thrown out because they touched the patient's space. I technically wasn't supposed to do that but It wasn't really something to be helped. I would tuck it in my pocket to give myself space and then I would remember it when I got home. This is no different. 

There was a moment of silence, "His leg," yikes, "He got shot there."

Just my luck. I wasn't a trauma nurse. These things were beyond my scope.

"Um, well," I was at a loss. "Did the bullet go clean through or will I have to get it out?"

"Get it out," the 'sleeping' man choked. Now that I am noticing, he was wearing a face covering, and he was panting heavily. 

"Steady on now," a hard tap to my shoulder blade with something metal propelled me forward. I walked to my sink but a hand on my hair stopped me, roughly yanking me back, I yelped in shock but a hand covered my mouth, filthy and grimy. 

"Did I say not to scream? The fuck, is you deaf bitch?"

"I need the supplies to work on your friend," I snapped, yanking myself away, and opening the cupboard door. Sure enough, I had my supplies but they looked awfully bleak now. They looked like a hoarder's dream before. Now they looked...not enough. "Don't hurt me, or I won't be able to help you."

I got the supplies, taking some lysol wipes and cleaning the space around the man as best as I could. Wound care was usually something that requires a sterile field. But I would have to do with what I got. I was a little at a loss as I knelt next to the man, studying his legs. I might have to cut away his pant leg...yea. Did I have any scissors?

I got up again, going to my kitchen drawers, keeping my head down so that I don't alarm them by looking at them. I was already in a precarious situation where they had power over me. I took out a pair of scissors, washing them quickly and my hands with it. 

I walked back to the injured man, kneeling and beginning to cut his pant leg. Sure enough, there the wound was there. How do I get it out?

"You'll need to go to the hospital, I don't have the resources to get the bullet out," I finally said, after observing it. It was bleeding heavily and all over my couch. Ew. "If I try to casually get it out, it may infect him or cause some blood disease."

"Just get it out," the man snapped. 

And then sirens started blaring.

Oh no.

I was yanked by my hair again, with the man above me, masked, pointing a gun straight to my face while I lay flat on the floor, horrified. 

"You called the fucking cops, bitch?" he snarled. I shook my head frantically, mute with terror.

"I think she did," the nasally voice said. 

Click-- _BAM_.

Pain danced across my vision briefly--


	13. Chapter 13

"Hello?" 

I was back in Brazil, under the little mango tree that my parents had growing in their backyard. I was wearing my favourite white nightgown. It was yellowed with age but it fit like a glove. The weather was hot and I fanning myself, sipping on some guava juice. It was so thick and chunky...

"Hello." The voice repeated. I looked up. No one usually came to my parent's backyard. It was small and practical. But it had a lovely mango tree planted right in the middle, all around it was tiles. We usually washed fish and poultry in this area. 

"Hello." This time the voice was closer. I looked to the source: a tall man, wearing gray robes, with black and silver accents. His robes were swirling and thrilling. It was a strange site to look at, almost repulsive...His face didn't quiet register in my mind. But I could see he was already wearing a circlet. 

"Hello," I repeated dumbly, staring up at him. His face seemed to be miles away from mine.

"Why are you still here?" the man asked me. His voice was neither feminine nor masculine, but it was nice to listen to.

"This is my parents' backyard," I gestured around me. "I belong here."

"Clearly not," he said derisively and I tensed. "Your body wants to belong here. But you are dead."

_Oh, ok._

"Right," I said slowly. "Was it because of that guy who shot me?"

"Yes," he studied me. "You seem unsurprised."

"I would have been more surprised if I survived," I replied glumly. "But there isn't any use in being surprised. I'm dead now."

"Your soul doesn't want to leave your body yet," the man said observantly. 

"I'm sorry, may I ask who are you?"

"You may know me as Mandos, or the grim reaper, if you prefer," he said airily. 

Mandos, I remember Maitimo mentioning that name...oh. "You're one of those Gods."

Mandos' face never deviated. "If that is how you choose to understand it..."

"I don't want to assume your gender or anything," I murmured, "I don't gender shame."

"It's not my gender that you are concerned with, but my essence."

"I don't essence-shame then," I said soberly. Was this even a real conversation? "Listen, what is the point of this conversation. I don't mean to be rude."

He didn't address my rudeness. "You're body is not ready to depart. But you are already dead."

"I imagine that a lot of dead people are like that," I said dryly. "Death isn't a new concept."

"I am glad you can keep things in perspective," was that sarcasm? I couldn't tell. "But no, in most cases their minds aren't ready to leave but they must regardless. It is not often that the mind, the body, and the soul are all equally unwilling to depart."

"Yea, I can see that," I finally said. I really couldn't but I didn't really find it in myself to try and play those mind games with him. 

"So you have to go back," he finally said bluntly. My face fell.

"I don't want to," I finally said. "My life was really unhappy. It would break my heart to wake up again and be unhappy. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I have my family that I love. But I don't see myself ever thriving."

My unhappiness ran so deep as to deny myself a second chance at life. What a nut. He must be thinking the same thing.

"I never said go back to your world."

 _What_? "What--?"

White flashed in my vision. 

*

I had a pounding headache. I was also in the middle of nowhere and it was freezing. It was too dark to properly tell where I was. But I could feel that my feet were drenched in snow. It wasn't like New York snow; tarry and brown, hard. it was soft, white and fluffy. It had probably stopped snowing hours ago and if I knew anything, it might be close to sunrise. I was wearing the simple, long-sleeved night dress and I might as well have been naked. 

"Hello?" I called nervously, starting when my voice echoed all over. In the soft moonlight, I could see that I was surrounded by nothing but plain land, with the random lonesome tree, bare and sad, all over. I felt like I was transported into a Tim Burton movie. "Anyone?"

I was starting to lose the confidence to let my voice go any louder. It was too empty to speak. I could only move on and move forward. My legs were starting to feel like lead. Why did Mandos drop me off here of all places? I bleakly wadded through the snow, lifting my feet to look what I was wearing; vans. I was wearing vans. In three feet of soft, fresh snow. Was this a fucking joke?

"I fucking hate that little bitch," I muttered under my breath in portuguese, swaddling myself and hunched over so tightly as I waded through the snow. I couldn't bear to look up. My back was nearly frozen and I couldn't feel my extremities anymore. I couldn't even stop shivering. "Couldn't you have given me a fucking jacket at least?"

I didn't really watch where I was going. But I was surprised to see a pair of legs, on the snow, just standing there, clad in leather boots that looked incredibly warm, especially with the fur lining. But they were large. And they were attached to a pair of legs. Really long legs. As my gazed traced up the seemingly never-ending body, I had to slowly unfurl myself from the tight ball I had made myself to be. I could barely see well in the moonlight. But I felt my breath catch when I caught sight of familiar, red locks, dancing softly in the gentle but killing breeze.

The face was well shadowed. But the structure was there. It was too familiar to miss. Especially not with those glowing green eyes. 

I recoiled in shock, falling on my bum in the snow. I was too shocked to give a damn about the cold. I couldn't even speak. But there he was. standing there, in an outfit unlike that which I had ever seen him wear. He was wearing a suit of armor. It wasn't anything like that I have ever seen in historical art or in modern times. And his cloak looked so large, heavy and warm, that my body warmed a tiny bit just thinking about it around my shoulders. 

"Ar-are you?" I began, my voice broken by my shivers. What a stupid question to ask. He was clearly the one I did not expect to see. Still, not an unwelcome sight. 

He bent down, scooping me up off the snow, I tried to push his hands away but he maneuvered me in such a way that I found myself being lifted off the grown as easily as if I was toddler, not a grown, adult woman.

"Wait a minute," I squeaked, looking around ad pausing when I saw other riders on horses, mounted and staring at me, their eyes bright in the moonlight. I looked away shyly, back at him. So many, and they were all dressed like him.

"What the fuck are you even wearing?" he snarled in my ear and I recoiled. The familiarity of his attitude towards me was like a hot chocolate drink on a scorching day. I won't spur it, but I didn't want to tolerate it either. 

"Excuse you," I hissed back. "I didn't ask to be here."

"But you are, you didn't think to at least change out of your nightgown?"

"Listen there--"

"We'll talk later, not now," he said, jostling me on a horse that snorted, I yipped in shock. I have never seen a horse up close before. I have seen them in pictures and movies but nothing else. This horse was so big in real life. Maitimo got on behind me.

"I can't ride horses," I panicked, gripping the horse's mane, not daring to pull. "What if it doesn't like me on it?"

"He is not picky. I'll do the riding."

And then that was that for the rest of the...night? We rode on for hours. I wasn't able to glance back and see the other members of his party. But I could hear their horses behind me and I could feel their gazes searing through my flesh. I didn't really think I was much of a curiosity and I didn't understand much of the context to infer anything. Eventually we stopped completely, in an opening inside the hill. It was damp and cold but there was no snow. The horses, surprisingly enough, were left to roam around. I was briefly unimpressed with the amount of trust they put in their horses. I am sure horses were mentally complex but I wouldn't trust my own horse to not run away. 

When we all finally dismounted, I saw how many horsemen there were besides Maitimo; there had to be at least 6 and they were all murmuring in a strange language. Maitimo had given me his cloak, settling for a thinner blanket that he got off his horse. I was incredibly grateful. I tried not to make it obvious but it smelled like him, if he was wandering around a bush for a few months. It wasn't an appealing scent, but it was comforting. So the moment my butt his the ground in front of that doleful little fire, I curled up into a ball and fell asleep. 

I woke up because Maitimo had woken me up, pressing something to my lips. I sat up, uncomfortable with the way he was giving me things in front of everyone. Everyone that I did not know. Did they speak our language?

"Can I speak with you like this?" I asked after I drank--melted ice. It was cold. But right now, I wished that I was holding a hot cup of chai in my hands.

"Yes," Maitimo said. "They don't speak this language."

"Isn't it weird that you do?"

"Strange, but not out of the realm of the extraordinary. After all, I have been gone for nearly five years from my world. Plenty of time to learn a few languages," Maitimo scoffed and I stared at him. 

"So you were in my world for 4 years before you met me?"

"I believe so, yes," Maitimo said distractedly, fiddling with the straps on the cloak he gave to me. He was tightening them, making them more snug. 

"Wow, no wonder you were so well-established," I scoffed, thinking how hard it is for new people to get anywhere in America. I had a difficult time for it before I died.

"But my heart was not," Maitimo scoffed. "How did you come to be here? How long were you here for?"

"Seconds, before you found me," I chuckled. "I was shot in the face by a burglar. Some guy named Mandos kicked me out and I ended up here."

It seemed like mentioning the name Mandos brought a hush over whatever limited activity was happening in the burrow. I looked around me and saw four pairs of bright eyes looking at me. Weren't there six people.

"Did I say something wrong?" I was confused.

"Do not presume to use names so freely, Priscilla," Maitimo sounded pained. "Names hold power in this world. Much of my world is different to yours."

"Figured," My shoulders slumped. "I wasn't even wearing a nightgown when I got shot. I was wearing nursing scrubs."

"What do I call you then?"

"Maedhros, in the company of others, refer to me as Prince."

Ok, I can do that. "Nice to meet you, Maedhros, I'm Priscilla. You can call me Nurse though."

Maitimo--Maedhros--snorted, his gaze trailing to my chest beneath the cloak. "Nurse here is not the same as a nurse there. Here a nurse is a woman who breastfeeds infants that do not belong to her for a living."

Wow.

"What would my version of a nurse be then?" I was offended. Wow, they really had no respect for nurses. 

"A healer," Maitimo said, handing me something in my hand. It was red and hard. I sniffed it. Smelled like bacon. I never liked bacon. But I wasn't going to be picky when I could see it was what everyone else was eating. I gratefully accepted it with a 'thank you' and nibbled at it, flinching at how salty it was. "You got shot in the face you said?"

"Yea," I sighed. I was a little traumatized by it. I wasn't sure how deep the trauma went. But I remembered every single detail. I didn't ever get to see their faces though.

"Yea, they broke into my house because one of their men was shot in the leg. I guess my neighbor must have called the police because when they heard the sirens, the leader took out his gun and shot me."

"I am sorry you had to go through that," he sounded genuinely sorry. I didn't look at his face. Instead, I focused on his knees. 

"Yea," I said. "I never really liked that world much anyways. I'll miss Paulo though. He was a good boy."

"An honorable one," Maitimo agreed. "We leave soon."

"Alright," I said bleakly. 

*

We rode on for days. I could smell myself after a while. And I could smell the others as well so that was kind of an assurance. I wasn't sure what we were wandering around for. There was also limited opportunity to speak with Maitimo. I could only speak to him when others were speaking because that meant it was safe to make noise. Those moments were precious few because often times, when others were speaking, it meant that he was speaking to them as well. But I learned a few things: they were a hunting party. Not for stag or game as nutrition (though that was a side hustle as they had a spare horse reserved for lugging back the hunted carcasses) primarily, but rather for orcs. I was familiar with orcs. It was how I met Maitimo in the first place afterall. The second time I came close to them, I never came into actual contact with them or saw them, but I was painfully aware of them back then. Now, as we wandered for so long, I could see that they weren't inclined to show up anytime soon. I was grateful. Maitimo was able to take two down on his own with the help of his cousin. How many could it have been if Maitimo needed six other men with him to hunt them down? 

The men who were with him were very similar to Maitimo and his cousins; very tall, with very long hair, and pointed ears. The uncanny thing about them was that they had very bright eyes as well. They clothes did nothing to hide their impressive physiques. But all their hair was black or a varying shade, and their eyes were gray. Maitimo was simultaneously the outlier and the leader. After Maitimo had explained to me the difference between the three groups of people, I was subconscious of how they seemed. Maitimo had given me his cloak. It was warm. But it wasn't foolproof against their unnaturally cold weather. They were in a region called Hithlum. It was along the ring where orc activity was the greatest. 

But so far we didn't see anything. 

"Priscilla," I was surprised at the sound of my name. I turned around; Maitimo. He was standing with three other men, all looking at me. I self-consciously caved in on myself. I was busy staring off into space. We were in a bunch of caves.

"Yes?" I got up, dusting myself off the snow that was stuck to my dress that didn't seem to be coming off anytime soon. Besides, it was too cold for me to try and do that. I walked towards them, watching my step more than I was watching them. I stopped a few feet away from the circle of men, looking up at Maitimo expectantly. He was the tallest one of them all by a whole head. 

"There are hot springs further in the cave. You should refresh there."

I blinked. What?

Did he just say I stank? I sniffed, vaguely offended. But I tried to school my expression lest they think that I didn't want to take a bath and instead wanted to revel in my own stink. Ew. 

"Is it warm?" I asked him. "I know you said hot springs, but I don't want to freeze, I don't really have a towel to dry off."

"It's warm," Maitimo said handing me a small bundle of clothes, that was actually quiet large in my arms, "I'll lead you and keep watch."

"Will they shower as well?" I asked, stepping back to allow him to lead the way. 

"They shall take turns, it is not often we cut across this path," Maitimo said. "'Tis safer."

"You are speaking weird," I noted. "Why are you speaking so formally? Can they understand you?"

"No, I don't believe they speak the language," Maitimo said, ducking under the low ceiling. I didn't have to duck. 

"Where did you get these clothes?" I asked him, patting the bundle he gave me, holding on to his cloak. I couldn't see anything. It was so dark.

"My scouts managed to get somethings off an abandoned village," Maitimo said. 

"Is there many of those?" Abandoned villages, in my mind, didn't happen for no reason. There was probably some catastrophic event that caused the people to flee.

"A few, they come back to my protectorate. They have no defense against the servants of Melkor," Maitimo said, a certain hardness in his tone. I nodded understandingly. Finally, we reached a large hall-like structure, behind and beneath the cave where we took refuge for the night. There were many small pools. Some were shallow and some were deep. I couldn't really see much. The only thing that lit up the place was the torch that Maitimo carried. But with that limited light I could see the pools.

"I'm scared," I confessed. "I can't swim."

"I'll be close," Maitimo assured me. It was a silly and irrational fear. Even back in Brazil, where we were surrounded by water, I had a stupid fear of the ocean. I also watched a lot of Nat. Geo documentaries.

"Is there any fishes in here?" I asked him in a small voice. "I know I sound stupid, but--"

"I'll keep you safe. Just keep your voice down. If you get the urge to scream, don't."

Ok, don't scream. Help is close by. Got it. 

We slowly descended to the base where the pools were. The ground sparkled briefly. It was surprisingly warm in here.

"DO I take off my clothes here?" I was being silly and overly dependant. But I never did this before.

"Yes," Maitimo said patiently. I took my clothes off. I neatly folded them aside and then dipped one foot in the pool. The water was gloriously warm. But that wasn't what was weird about it. As soon as my foot touched the water, blue glowed where my foot was. I couldn't feel anything but it was there, obviously, if it glowed when I broke it's peace. It was so pretty though. 

"Wow," I giggled, shocked. I felt a little braver to go in quickly, because I was chilled and I was conscious of Maitimo watching me.

"Did you know that the water did that?" I asked him. 

"No," Maitimo said slowly. 

"It's pretty," I said, submerging fooly and sighing. I already felt cleaner. "Don't look please."

"I already know every inch of you," Maitimo scoffed. I flushed. Of course he did. I knew him just as well. But it didn't benefit anyone to watch. It's not like we could or should be doing anything anyways. We broke up so long ago. Seeing him again was like three punches to the gut from a professional MMA fighter. It was stupid. I wasn't even sure what he was going to do with me or what I was going to do with myself. 

"Right," I rolled my eyes. "Still. Please."

I heard rustling. "Alright." I didn't turn around to see if he was looking but I trusted him to keep his word. He was good at it after all.

"How much time do I have?" I asked him. I really didn't want to hinder anyone.

"10 minutes," Maitimo said and I turned half my body around, absolutely offended at how short that amount of time was.

"Really?" I asked him, pouting. "I am really dirty though."

"20," Maitimo said, unfazed. I'll take that. 

My hair was so oily, that the water literally rolled off. I only needed a bar of soap and a comb. Was it so hard to ask for either? I could try and ask.

"Hey--"

There was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw that it was Maitimo, holding out a bar--it smelled really familiar. It was my raspberry soap that we made when we went out together!

"You kept those?" I was shocked. 

"I kept the things you left behind," Maitimo said, retreating to where he was. I quietly thanked him. The soap foamed so wonderfully. I scrubbed myself as thoroughly as I could with my fingers. I paid special attention to the parts of me that I knew needed extra attention.The hot water was wonderful against me, and it went a long way to clean me up. I was surprised that it was not as dirty now. It was still clean and see through.

When I was finished, I handed Maitimo the soap, who graciously took it and wrapped it in a kerchief, tucking it away. I was strangely flattered at that. The clothes that he had provided me were pants that were too tight and too long, a...tunic that was too large, and a large overcoat. I was surprised they found that much at an abandoned village. I suppose I could only count those blessings and thank the previous owner. 

"Ready?" I asked him, stopping in front of him and slipping on my shoes. My hair was wet and no longer tangled. I had hidden away the comb that was provided for me in my bra. I smelled good and refreshed.

"I still have to shower," Maitimo said, unfastening his cloak and handing it to me. I flushed, embarrassed. 

"Yes, of course," I blushed. "I'll protect you then."

That was meant as a joke. I had the fighting skills of a toddler with cartilage knees instead of bone. I couldn't see his face because he turned away from me but I could hear him scoff. "Appreciate your effort." 

So I sat, my back turned as I watched the fire from the torch that he was carrying flicker. It was vaguely hypnotizing. I straightened. I was supposed to be on a look out. But for what? I couldn't see very well in the dark, or well at all. The only reason I never looked to get my eyes checked was because I couldn't afford prescription glasses or a ticket back to Brazil where getting a prescription and buying the glasses was exponentially cheaper. It was a miracle that I got through my exams.

I couldn't hear Maitimo very well but soon I hear rustling and soon enough, Maitimo was standing in front of me, helping me up so that I didn't trip on the unsteady ground. "Thanks," I murmured, my hand tingling where we touched. I was the one who broke it off. I had absolutely no right to keep wanting him. He probably moved on from me already and has a girlfriend now. He is a prince, isn't he supposed to get married? I was lucky he was being so nice when he owed me absolutely nothing.

We slowly walked back up to where the rest congregated. Slowly, in pairs, the rest took their turns bathing and showering, going through the soap that I had made back in my world. By the time they were all done, only a little was left and it was left for hand washing purposes if we ever got the luxury of time. I was huddled in the corner, napping for a short while before it was time to move on again. Now that we all smelled much better and more refreshed, it was more bearable to ride with each other.

It was monotone for several more days and soon, I was frozen. That was the thing about the cold. No matter how many layers worn, it would still find a way to seep through and drench your bones. Not before long, we reached a city. It was a city of stone, and it was beautiful. It's gates were high and and massive, fortified in such a way that it would have taken ten thousand legions to get through it. "Is this Hithlum?"

I was in awe. The wall extended as far as the eye could see. Large flags with an eight pointed star were seated on top of the walls, evenly spaced out. In the walls were massive sculptures of men with long hair, similar in face and physique to Maitimo, decked in battle gear. I couldn't imagine how expensive such a large-scale project was, especially in these plains, where such stone could not be found, only imported. Imported goods tended to be more expensive. 

"Wow," I breathed. The closer we got, the more massive they became. They were a sky-scraper of their own, these walls. The gates opened and I could see how heavy they were to open. They left track-marks on the ground. The city was even more impressive than the walls. It was like a degradation. The highest point in the city was the center, where I could see a tall building was. The closer to the gates, the less elevated the ground was. And I could see that it was a less economically-thriving part of the city. But even then, it didn't seem dirty. The streets were clean and tiled, and there were even street lights. The snow was plowed to the side, and there were special spaces between every four houses where crops grew. I was honestly impressed. It was like looking at a utopia with impressive infrastructure. As we got closer to the center of the city, people became more densely scattered. I could even see that there was...really short people. Shorter than I was for sure. They didn't have pointed ears and they were hairy everywhere. They were stout and fierce looking. 

"Lovely city," I cleared my throat. No one said anything. Okie.

The horses stopped and soon I was helped off the horse. 

"Now what?" I asked him nervously. I could see the people in the area regarding me curiously. I must have seemed strange to them. From what I could see, they were all tall, broad-shouldered, fair-skinned, dark-haired, bright-eyed, and pointy-eared. I could barely differentiate the women from the men if it weren't for the barest hint of breast on their chests. It was clear that the short people were not permanent residents. They were just carrying too many things on their back for that status, and they were too shifty as well. In comparison, I was curvy and fat, relatively short with narrow shoulders and freckled, dusky skin. No one had curly hair and no one had dark eyes. Not even the short people, whose eyes gleamed silver and blue. I was an oddity. 

I was not used to being a visible minority. At least in America, I had the safety of other people looking like me. I had the safety of knowing English and Spanish. Here I knew nothing. 

"Now I take you to my living quarters. We'll decide what goes on from there," Maitimo said, handing me a satchel. I took it mutely. It was heavy. 

"What do I do with this?" I asked him, carrying it with both arms while he carried twenty more heavier things without breaking the slightest sweat. I must have looked laughable. 

"Follow me," Maitimo said. "These are the spoils of our hunt. We take them for storage and distribution."

Oh, so this is supposed to feed an entire city?

"I don't think that is enough to feed everyone," I said hesitantly, looking at the massive landscape that must have easily housed eight thousand residents. The wall alone was thicker than my apartment complex. It was a fifteen-minute horse-trot to get from the entrance to the exit. It must have at least had shallow areas to house the soldiers.

Maitimo glanced back at me. "We have enough on a fruitful season. Some years we must go on for a few days without eating."

My face fell at how horrible that sounded. "But the city is thriving, how are the people starving?"

"It is thriving because what you see here is readily available to work with. All the minerals, all the ore, all the project materials are all readily available through trade and harvesting. But game is scarce. The weather here does not support growth. But us elves, we can withstand such hardship. Us Noldor, we do not marry in times of war, much less conceive. So that makes it easier."

That sounded really fucking depressing. 

"I am sorry to hear that," I said in a small voice. "It would be nice to have a self-replenishing land."

Maitimo looked back at me, his gaze so grim that I faltered mid-step. "We have seen much harder days."

I was told, by Maitimo, to wait in this room until his return. The room in question was like something out of an arabian-nights portrait, but instead of bright vibrant colors, it was heavy furs and weaponry. The furniture was well-crafted, even luxuriously so, I would argue. There was a large brown table in the middle with shelves against the walls filled to the brim with fancy scrolls. I didn't really want to touch those in case I risk anyone coming and accusing me of stealing state information. The large rounded table was high enough to come to my waist, but I imagine it wasn't that big of a hassle to Maitimo.

On the other compartment of the apartment, there was a 'couch' area where I guess this is where people sat. All the other doors were closed. But it was kind of warm in the room. There was a fire pit in the couch area, smack in the middle with an open-dome ceiling. I didn't really dare to do much, not that there was anything much to do other than to observe.

It was a bare room, strangely bereft of any personal effects. Even back at his apartment Maitimo was not one to 'decorate' his house beyond the basic necessities. I was the one who put up the couch pillows and pretty pictures from my culture. I probably personalized the kitchen the most. I was honestly not surprised. It just seemed very like him to be monotone or dispassionate about something as trivial as house decor. I wasn't any better. I was excessively the opposite of him. I really liked personalizing and decorating. But my taste was tacky and often mismatching. I never owned a pair of mugs that were the same. All my forks and knives were differently designed. Nothing in my house matched. I also really liked flowers, puppies, and the color pink. Still, I liked my style. 

I sat on one of the couches, the fire in front of me, its warmth and the dance of the flames lulling me to sleep. 

*

I woke up again, this time was was on a bed. It wasn't softy by any means, and nor was it wide. It could fit two of me if we squeezed in together. But the blankets were warm and...fur. Warm.

I was in Maitimo's world now. I had no world of my own to get back to. I will never see Paulo, Joyce, my aunt and uncle, and my parents ever again. I felt my eyes well up in tears. I hadn't realized that I was suppressing these emotions this whole time. I guess it was all finally starting to click.

I don't even think I could adapt in this world; everyone here is immortal and from what I could see, modern technology, or at least the technology that we had, is not available here. So now I was purposeless. Four years of studying went down the drain. 

I sniffed, trying to hide the fact that I was crying from some non-existent apparition that may be in the room that I was in. It was a plain room. Not spacious. But just enough to be considered a room. It had a fire pit in the middle and was circular in shape. The bed was right next to the door on the side where the hinges were. There was one large glass window that was more of a door that showed a view of the small city, basking in moonlight, covered by a sheen of snow. I am guessing I was not on a room in the ground floor.

I cried for a while before sobering up and deciding to get out of bed. I probably looked like a mess. I felt like a mess. I also needed to pee. Now I just needed to figure out the plumbing system. Did they have toilet paper? Did they have running water? Did they have a toilet, period? DId they have feminine hygiene products?

First to get there.

I cautiously opened the door, the hallway was lit with an archaic model of a lamp. It was like looking at the very first light bulb. I guess it was faintly advanced to have such things. The hallway was ong as well. And along the walls, weapons were attached. I had the impression, from the way that they were mounted, that it was more for defense rather than aesthetic purposes. Nice. I wasn't even sure where to go. I only prayed that I didn't have to stop at a crossroads, or else I would be well and truly lost. 

"Priscilla," I turned at the sound of my name: Maitimo. He was standing there, with black knee-high leather boots, black pants, and a red, long-sleeved tunic. His face was gaunt in the shadow of the moon and but was massive. In this place, he looked average, I couldn't imagine how small I must seem to him.

"Nice place you got there," I said hesitantly. "Do you have a washroom around here?"

"A variation of," he said, holding out his hand. I took it without thought, lacing my fingers through his and walking beside him as he led me back. There was a door next to the bedroom I woke up in, it was a washroom. It was basically a glorified hole in the ground. 

"There is running water," Maitimo said, demonstrating with the handle that he pumped vigorously. "Just to fill up the bucket to clean yourself after. A bar of soap here...just the bare necessities. We are rich in resources, but not much else."

I nodded understandingly. I looked at Maitimo. "Can you please excuse me?"

"I'll wait for you outside. There are fresh clothes waiting for you once you are finished."

"Alright, thanks," I nodded, closing the door behind him.

I needed an action plan. 


	14. Chapter 14

I swear, Maitimo woke up this morning and chose _violence_. 

It wasn't that he did anything particularly obscene or abhorrent in present time. I was just incredibly angry at him. I blamed the fact that I was here, in his world, on him, childishly enough. I was just so homesick and so useless here.

It has only been a whole week, by his count. But their days were longer. I am pretty sure their day was 36 hours. It was boring. Maitimo didn't come to see me once on my first day in this stupid place. It was too big and too 'fortified'. It was also cold, sad, and empty. For such a grand place, I am pretty sure 40% of the palace was empty. I know because I spent my time aimlessly wandering and watching the red landscape and the red skies. This whole place was so red and grim. There was hardly any life inside the walls of the fortress

I think I spotted--a few men? Women? They were carrying things to and from the palace. They were wearing pants and thick tunics. Their hair was long. After observing the people in this city a few times, there were some oddities that I noted. It was nearly impossible to differentiate the men from the women. They were similar in height with androgynous features. Not dissimilar to Maitimo, Fingon, Turgon, and even Finrod, who was the most feminine of the cousins, despite his impressive physique. They were also predominantly dark haired (black or brown) but their one features that made me think: oh, they must be the same race, was their eyes. Bright, glowing gray, as though someone took the moon and placed it in their eyes. Maitimo's was different, I suppose. His eyes glowed just as brightly but it was almost as if I would have gotten burned if I touched the emerald in his eyes. 

Where did he ever get such eyes, he was an outlier among his own people, even though he was their prince. Those people in question seemed to be repelled by me. There wasn't any disgust, or ill will. I wasn't sure what it was the was so off-putting to them but whenever I got closer, they kind of gravitate away from me. They didn't laugh and they were serious all the time. I have never seen a grimmer people. No wonder it was so hard to get Maitimo to smile. I remember the first time he properly smiled was when he made the soap mini-statue of me where I was naked. The thought of that put a blush to my cheeks. Really now, if what he was saying is true, then it was probably around in his own rooms somewhere. 

The thought of that sizzled bacon inside me and I hated bacon. 

All this time he still loved me and I was stuck in my own sorrows. Wasn't it just a lot easier to love him? I had misconceptions about the reception of his people but so far, no one seemed to bear ill will towards Maitimo from what I could see but it was too early to tell. This things manifest in ugly ways. But still, I was angry at Maitimo because I was angry at myself. I was angry that he didn't let me go without a fight, that he was too good and honorable. Why didn't he make things harder for me if he was still hung up on me like I was on him? I had no right to be angry at either perspective because in the end it was my decision to break it off between us and he accepted it without complaint.

Or I could just be reading too much into how sentimental he felt. Afterall, soap here seemed to be a luxury. Would have been a waste to just leave it back there to be honest. 

In conclusion, I was angry at no one but myself. Maitimo didn't help matters so it was easy to transfer blame. I wanted to say that I was confused but I understood the general gist of what happened to me and I knew that there was no way back. I was always good at accepting the bad that happened to me with the mentality that I would forget it as I advance in my years, so it was useless to remember it. 

However, I was uncertain, frighteningly so. I was basically an alien in this world. I knew nothing of how it worked; I had no way to identify myself, no people to belong to, and no one to help me. I couldn't count on Maitimo because it would be unfair to him when he had so much responsibility. It was wasn't anyone's fault that I ended up here. But I was the one who must take the blame. I didn't even know the language and I was accustomed to a virtually primitive lifestyle. I didn't know how to survive or even make a living. As a nurse, I practiced my skills but with modern equipment. I wasn't an herbalist. I didn't know how to differentiate between chamomile and daisy. But I did know the difference between Propofol and Rotaglide. I didn't know how to structurally recreate these medicines. And even if I did, I had no equipment and no money to do so.

"Maitimo," I said, my voice sterner than I expected. I had finally caught him alone. He looked up from the table where he stood over, a bunch of scrolls unfolded. "Maitimo I don't know what to do now."

Maitimo blinked at me: "I see."

"What did you expect when you brought me here?" I was curious, I wasn't trying to be confrontational.

"What did you expect when you came here?" he asked me and I started.

"I didn't ask to be here," I said bitterly. "If it was up to me I would have stayed dead. Imagine how useless I am to you, I am that to myself tenfold."

"Don't say that," Maitimo frowned, "I didn't mean it like that."

"Well that is how it came out," I said, walking closer to him because it was awkward to speak when there was six feet between the both of us. "It's fine, I just don't like being useless on top of being an alien."

"Understandable," Maitimo finally said. "I don't even know what to do with you."

I laughed, it was kind of funny when he put it like that. "Thanks. I don't have a resume with me though. Just ask me any questions and I will answer."

"Do you want to study some more?"

"If it will get me somewhere here, then yes, yes I do," I cleared my throat. "I am good at memorizing and understanding. I may be a little slow--"

"I know how you are," Maitimo interrupted me. "But first, you need to learn the language here."

"Oh, yes, of course," I nodded. That was reasonable. It was arrogant of me to be speaking English in a place that doesn't even comprehend the existence of said language. I just wish I didn't have to learn a new language from scratch. "Will you teach me?"

"No," my jaw dropped. I guess I was being too presumptuous, he was not hung up on me as I first assumed. But it wasn't my intention to test his feelings by asking him that question. He was the only one who spoke my language. It was reasonable for him to help me as he was the one who understood both languages and would therefore be able to teach them.

"Why not?" I asked, "You speak my language."

"I don't have the time," he said flatly. Ouch. Even if we had no past history, that still would have stung a little. 

"Fine," I pouted. I was in no position to make demands. But I was still dying to know something: "Maitimo--"

"Maedhros, now," Maitimo interrupted me. "You can't call me by that name, not in this land. It does not belong to us, my name here is Maedhros. It is a crime to speak my language here."

_Oh, okie._

"Fine," I said, a little confused. I needed to know more about that, but later. I had other pressing concerns at the moment. "Maedhros, I want to ask you something."

"I might answer it."

"Do you still..." I trailed off, hoping he would understand the rest of the question and answer it. But based on his stoic expression, I was not so lucky. "Do you still like me?"

"I never forgot you," Maitimo said, rising up suddenly. I took a deep breath, now or never.

"Neither did I," I admitted slowly. Maitimo paused his movement, staring down at me. "I regretted breaking up with you every single day. It wasn't worth it to feel like this in order to stay true to myself. In the end I was lying to myself. I am not saying this to be selfish and get back with you after I did that to you. I don't know if it affected you much, but if it did, I want to say I am very sorry for that. I would take it back if I could. I don't expect anything from you so please don't feel obligated. I just think you have a right to know."

A convenient time to bring that up if I was a gold digger or a comfort-seeker. Still, it had to be said. But I felt no better for it. In fact, I felt worse. now he knew and he could chose not to acknowledge it.

Maitimo said nothing. Ok, I guess that was a cue to excuse myself. I did just that, turning around and walking away, back to where I came from. Was it this hallway? Was this where my room was? I think so. I followed the lights, disheartened by the fact that he didn't follow me or call me back. Disheartened and heart broken.

I was now that woman in those dramas that I despised; I felt as if I cheated on Maitimo with another man and now I was trying to steal him away from his new love. But there was no extra man or woman in the equation between us. It was just us, but I felt just as terrible. I walked back into my room, closing the door, taking a deep shuddering breath. I wanted to change into my fluffy pajamas and I wanted to drink some mango juice right now, for the sake of irony. But no, I was stuck here, in one outfit that I wasn't sure how to wash, and I was still unsure how to obtain other articles of clothes. Ugh, my life is stupid. I just solidified Maitimo's reasoning for not teaching me the common language spoken.

Was I a 14 year-old, confessing her love, for the first time, to a gangly teen? No, I was not. I never even confessed to liking anyone since then because of the terrible way that I was rejected. After he had laughed off my rejection, the next day that boy took it upon himself to stomp all around me and make elephant noises while others laughed. Just the memory of that brought tears to my eyes that spilled over to my cheeks at an alarming speed. _Whelp, what a shitty da--_

The door unlocked. I turned around quickly, wondering who was there. In entered Maitimo, tall and brooding, but there was urgency in his body language. His face was fierce and his pupils were blown. Why was he angry? I recoiled, shocked at his sudden, frightening appearance. I was never going to get used to it no matter how many times I see it.

"Maitimo, what's wrong?" I asked him hesitantly as he stood in front of me, so close to me that I craned my neck a full right angle to look him in the eyes. I was intimidated by his proximity. 

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked me, his voice low and rough. I blinked.

"What--about breaking up with you?" Why was he pursuing me now after he let me walk out? What was he feeling? What was he thinking? I couldn't read anything on him except for urgency. But I couldn't decipher the rationale.

"Yes," he hissed.

"Oh--well," I blinked. There was more to say but where do I start? "I don't know. I just really hated myself for breaking up with you. I know that you did all these bad things. It felt like betraying everyone by remaining with you. But I guess I am a shitty human because I regretted that decision every day. I wanted to reach out but I wasn't sure how you would receive my coming back after I said those things--"

"Why do you doubt me?" Maitimo asked me coldly, frustration evident in his tone regardless of his composure. "Have I not proven my devotion to you in the time we have been together? If you had come back to me, I don't think I would have ever let you go again. I would have chained you to the earth beside me."

I recoiled. His ardent confession to me hinted at a dark obsession. I wasn't sure that I understood what it was. It was an obsession that only a special few people got to recieve, whether in good faith or otherwise. I wasn't sure how to feel about it but I wasn't going to reject it.

"Maitimo," I whimpered, stepping away and tripping, falling over. It was stupid of me to trip--oh, I tripped over my own shoes that I had removed in haste. I didn't even remember removing them. I was flat on my bum. Maitimo knelt in front of me, not coming closer but if he were to reach, he wouldn't have to reach very far. His presence was equally threatening as it was exhilarating. I was uncertain as to how to receive this attention. I never imagined I would be the subject of such attentions from a person like Maitimo. "Maitimo I didn't say this to make you angry or to make things bad between us. I said it because you deserve better than that--than me. I just thought it was ok for you to have your moment of being... _right_ somehow. Just to be petty over me because you deserve it. I was just being stupid. I didn't come here to uproot your stability."

"You think very little of yourself," Maitimo said through a clenched jaw, I could see the tik at his jaw throbbing from the force of it. He was so incredibly attractive and frightening, especially in the firelight. "With you, my pride does not exist, my ego is in shambles. The only thing that allows me to keep either is your grace. You have never given me an opportunity to feel ashamed or feel any less, even when I deserve it. You are too considerate of me and in the process, you have loved yourself less. You have denied the both of us a chance at happiness."

I felt tears stream down his face. Everything he was saying was right. I didn't want to hear it but it was something that I deserved to hear. This is what I have given him the opportunity to say. Seeing my tears, his entire visage softened and he reached out his good hand, tucking it at my jaw and slowly inching towards me. His hair slid over the both of us as he came closer. His thumb gently wiped away my tears.

"Be mine," he whispered to me. I closed my eyes, breathing his scent deep into my lungs, leaning closer and pressing my nose where his jaw curve to his ear. He smelled exactly the same; man, cleanliness, and steel. It wasn't an unpleasant smell. It wasn't exceedingly pleasant either. But the fact that it was on him made everything seem like a flower garden. Just the smell of him made me dizzy, his proximity nearly rendered me unconscious. I am already his. I would have remained celibate for the rest of my life if I was not able to have him--as both a punishment to myself and loyalty to him. "Be my wife."

My eyes flew open. That escalated far too quickly. I thought he meant to be his girlfriend again. I didn't know how to react. I never gave marriage much thought. I was always under the impression that his sweetness only stemmed from his desire and his sense of companionship with me. I didn't understand that it stemmed from this thought.

"Marry you?" I stuttered, watching his eyes return back to normal, glowing brighter than ever.

"Yes," he breathed, pulling me closer to him until we were tangled with on another on the floor. I didn't resist. Instead, I hugged him to me, my hand buried in his hair. "Be my wife in name."

"Not in spirit?" I teased.

"You already are," he murmured, nibbling on my ear. The sensation of it forced a sound out of me. WHa--...what did he mean by tha--tha-that...? I tried to recoil but it was a laughable attempt. I don't even think I tried because I found myself rubbing myself on him even more. 

"What does that mean?" I finally asked him when I forced myself to focus again.

Maitimo gave my jaw one last nip before pulling away from me, looking me dead in the eyes. "It means that we have been married in all but name."

_Oh really? Was I aware?_

I gave him a chuckle, was that his attempt at being romantic? "Maitimo, it doesn't work like that."

Maitimo did not share my sentiment, in fact, I have never seen him this serious before. "To us eldar, marriage only happens once. It has been decreed by our creator so as we are permanent and so too, is our unions."

_What?_

_What the fuck?_

"Then how did we get married?" I tried to think back to anything that he might have said that had resembled some kind of ritual between us. Nothing came up.

Maitimo answered my question. I did not interrupt him once because every single word that came out of his mouth was like a machete to my head; "The physical act of sex alone is a binding oath between the eldar. We do not marry in times of war nor do we conceive. However, when you and I first bound together, it was our will that we bind ourselves to one another. Even if I had ever tried, I couldn't have ever been able to physically have penetrative sex with any other person than you, it is the will of our creator. But we know to whom we are bound in spirit before we ever reach maturity. I have seen you in my dreams since before I reached my fiftieth begetting day. I have known who you were my whole life."

"But you said you had sex before," I stuttered, shocked. Maitimo scoffed. 

"It was not penetrative. We gave and received pleasure dually. But we never engaged in the sacred act," Maitimo said.

"So you were lying when you said that you are sterile?" I wanted to be disgusted but I figured that there was probably a half of the story that I did not know about. I didn't feel tricked _just yet_. 

"Having children among our kind is not as simple as it is in your kind, Priscilla," Maitimo shook his head. "To conceive a child, both the man and the woman must truly want it in their hearts, mind, and spirit, wholly and completely. Only then can the blessing of a child be given. That is why we do not celebrate a birth date, but instead, we celebrate the day of our conception."

It would be embarrassing for everyone to know if you had been conceived on Valentine's day, I thought, a little humorously, to myself. Still it eased the sting of not using condoms or birth control during sex with him. In fact, it erased it because we had sex countless times and not once did I want a child and not once did I ever conceive. "So we were not ready to have a kid?"

"No," Maitimo shook his head. "Neither you nor I wanted a child at the time. It is something we would have to discuss beforehand either way. No child of ours will ever be a surprise."

I wanted to laugh. If only birth control was that good. "Your parents must have genuinely wanted children seven times to be able to have that many of you."

Maitimo didn't share my humor. But he did appear grim at the mention of his parents. "They wanted more. But everything else happened."

_Ouff, sore topic._

"What happens if I marry you?" I asked, to get out of the grim topic that I had carelessly threaded into. 

"No one can oppose the union," Maitimo finally said. "Not my brothers, my cousins, nor my advisors can oppose it or disapprove of it for we eldar, do not choose our mates lightly, nor do we err lightly. Because they are a peace of our soul. Independant of our bodies, but kin in spirit. You would be my wife, you would enjoy the privileges of being my wife and similarly, just as I, endure the hardships of being my wife."

That sounded scary, blunt, and straightforward, if a little whimsical. But I can believe it. So far, i was able to follow. It was a little outside of my realm of belief but I forced myself to be open-minded because I could ignore the facts in any case.

"I'll age and die, Maitimo," I said, a little sadly. It had to be addressed, surely he thought of it when he initiated sex with me. As he said, he wasn't prone to making life-altering mistakes like this. He never once gave me the impression that sex with me or starting a relationship with me was a mistake. In fact he ardently strove to prove otherwise. However, this was an inevitable reality. He would survive for as long as he lives. 

"I'll take what precious time we have together," Maitimo assured me softly. "I'll love you dearly and forever. I'll _live_ for you, Priscilla."

I smiled, still unsure. He doesn't chose lightly. His people don't chose lightly. Those who were not his people did not chose lightly either. But my reservations remained. 

"What happens to you after I die?" I asked him.

Maitimo didn't blink, "I go with you," he answered, as though it required little thought of him. "I will fade, and wait for you in the second coming, where we will be reunited again."

He had previously explained those concepts to me when speaking about his late grandmother: Miriel, who had died, permanently, in childbirth. It was the only exception that was ever made in known history where an elf was permitted, or even wanted to, to marry twice. Circumstances were different then; it was a time of peace for them, away from the evil of the land on the other side of their ocean. But the thought of waiting that long for me terrified me. He could easily be 'reincarnated' as I understood it, but given his status and standing as of now, he might not be given a second chance in this time. He did not need to wait for me at either way.

"Maitimo, you don't know what you are saying," I shook my head, going to move off of him but he stopped me, roughly grabbing my buttcheek and bringing me down on him hard enough to make us both gasp-- _ooh_ , I felt him there. And yes, it felt good and familiar. _Oooooh_. "Oh, oh goodness--" I threw my head back, grinding down hard against him, moaning in an embarrassing volume. I was never like that before. I didn't just do things like that to him before, but in any case he was not helping because he was the one grinding me against him like I was some kind of cheese and he was the grater--no, I needed to be clear headed.

"I have never been so sure in my life," Maitimo snarled in my ear, picking me up and without assistance from any part but his legs, lifting us both to his feet while I was wrapped around him tightly in fear of falling on the floor. But his grip, even with one hand, was so secure that I couldn't have felt safer if I was on a plane. He carried us both and sat down--on the bed. No--not now, not yet. We needed to establish boundaries and address the issue of marriage. "My decisions do not come lightly. I cannot afford to be whimsical with my decisions, to do so would be to endanger my people. Every decision I have ever taken required thought, consideration, meditation. This was not a decision that I could have made in a day or a week. I had already known the consequences of my decisions when I made it. I am ready to face them, as I have every other consequence of every other decision that I have ever made."

As far as I am aware; we are already married. He now wants to establish it in name. I found that I did not mind being married to him. But I was a little put out by the fact that I am just finding out that we were magically married by the ritual of sex, nearly a year and a half since our first act. We technically got married in my ratty old apartment, on a frameless bed with a cardboard box spread out against the window to protect our privacy. The apartment with the plumbing that was more questionable than the plumbing in this place and age. To say I am put off as well would be an understatement.

I wanted to wear white, I wanted to get married back home at the cathedral by the sea, and dance with my husband in my bare feet. I wanted to attend the Rio Carnival, in the height of summer, right after with my husband, as we weave through the tourists and the natives, eating Gelato dancing with those dancers in the wonderful costumes. I wanted to wear sheer dresses on my wedding night. But the weather here and, from what I could see, the culture, could not permit such things. 

"Maitimo," I finally said, "Maitimo, we will have a proper wedding then? Does it matter since we are already technically married?"

"A necessary formality for a man in my position," Maitimo said. "And an honor to you. I could not disrespect you by marrying you so sly."

My heart frizzled with happiness like coca cola. "Does anyone else know you are married?"

"Those of my kind who look me in the eyes already know that I am married," Maitimo said. "I do not have to say it."

"What do you mean?" I asked him. That was new to me.

"Among us eldar, when we look into the eyes of one another, we can know if they are bound or unbound. Our eyes express much about us, whether we will it or not," Maitimo said. In conclusion: everyone knows we got married by having sex.

"How do you know, what about it tells you that they are married. I tried to remember ever looking into the eyes of Fingon, Turgon, or Finrod. How were they different from Maitimo? Were they married? How were Maitimo's eyes different before and after having sex for the first time?

"It is not a difference that dwarves or edain can see. It is a difference that is unique to our people. It is a halo that we can see but you cannot for we perceive things differently than the second-born or the children of Aule."

Ah yes, familiar terms, familiar histories. I had an inkling about the second-born and the dwarves. Sometimes, Maitimo would tell me little 'bedtime' stories right after an intense sex session that ran all night long, but we were too strung up to got to sleep properly. I thought they were just folk tales from his world, but I guess not. I guess after hearing about them, I would identify as second-born; limited, sturdy, and less fair than the first-born, who are the eldar like Maitimo.

"So Fingon and Turgon and Finrod all knew this whole time?" The sudden thought manifested and I was horrified. Maitimo smirked. 

"They did, Fingon disapproved of our union for the way it had come about," He said, stroking my face, pressing a kiss to my nose and nipping at my bottom lip, not a proper kiss yet but it made me tingle in anticipation. The skinship between us was driving me insane and making me hazy. It just felt so right to be in his arms again. 

"Don't kiss me, Maitimo," I moaned, hugging him harder. "I am trying to have a proper conversation here."

Maitimo pulled back with languid satisfaction. The first button of his tunic was undone, giving me an obscene view of a well-defined throat. I blinked away my haze of lust. "Well then let's talk properly."

I took a deep shuddering breath before climbing off of him and sitting next to him on the bed, maintaining a safe distance. "Do others disapprove as well?"

"You care too much about what others think, Priscilla," Maitimo sighed. "A proper wedding would be blessed by the Valar first, then we would typically wait for a year or two before the first ceremony. Alas that is not possible given our current circumstances and state of insecurity. It is not uncommon to see other people marry in improper orders or not wait the customary time. It is no one's place to judge and nor can it be. Fingon disapproved because of my status."

That was a stupid reason to be cold to me any how. "Is that the only reason he was short with me?"

"He also disapproved of your limited lifespan," Maitimo scoffed. It sounded silly to say it outloud but it was understandable. Despite the bad blood between them, there was reconciliation efforts and the two cousins were quiet close. It was probably really heartbreaking for him to see his cousin love someone who would die soon and break his heart.

"If you knew we were married, then why did you let me out of your life so easily?" I asked him in a small voice, the pieces of the puzzle finally falling into place.

Maitimo was silent for a while; "I would rather have you for away from me, than see hatred in your eyes for trapping you with me. I was willing to accept the fact that you will move on from me, if only for your happiness."

"That would never have been the case," I scoffed, hugging my knees to my chest. "I would have remained celibate for the rest of my life. You destroyed me for other men and I was willing to accept not having anyone else."

Maitimo was silent for a while and I heard a soft exhale--was that _relief_. I glanced back at him and I saw that his eyes were closed and he was taking deep breaths in through his nose, a look of utter contentment on his face. "Am I selfish for feeling pleasure at hearing you say that?"

"No," I laughed. "I would be the same way with you."

"Then you may feel the same, I share your sentiment."

A rush of blood flooded my body, covering me with like a blanket over my body, I sighed in relief. I guess I can understand him well enough now. "You are too honorable, but I appreciate it."

"In the end you came back to me on your own volition," Maitimo sounded pleased. "Admittedly, in unforeseen and uncontrollable circumstances that leave much to be desired."

Speaking of understatements.

"So how do I accept your marriage proposal?" I finally asked. 

"What would make you accept it?" Maitimo asked me. I blushed, shy. 

"Do you ever watch the movies where the man gets on one knee and gives the bride her ring after she says yes?"

"I have the faint notion, I saw these things happen in public before," Maitimo replied thoughtfully. 

"No--not in public please!" I was mortified at the thought. "Just between us. You don't even need a ring. I have the bracelet you gave me. You can just present it to me and I will say yes."

"I have the ring," Maitimo interrupted me. "I had it commissioned the moment we entered the city."

"Is that why you were so busy?" I asked him, leaning my head on his shoulder briefly before pulling away, I felt touched at his thoughtfulness.

"Partly. I wasn't sure if you would accept me again," he admitted. "Not after all that."

I flushed, slightly embarrassed, but there was no reproach from him. "Awfully sure of you," I teased.

"I wasn't going to let you go another time," Maitimo said. "This is the perfect opportunity, as evil as that may sound."

Funny guy.

Maitimo got up slowly, standing in front of me and slowly going down on one knee before me, his green eyes clear and set straight at me. He was all I could see. My heart started to palpitate and my hands got sweaty. 

"Marry me, Priscilla," Maitimo murmured softly, taking out a ring in his hand. There were two bands that he was holding together, one was a simple golden band and the other was a band with a large diamond in the middle, cut in a radiant shape. They were both simple enough rings, but I immediately fell in love. I accidentally made a sound that I reserved for babies and puppies. I looked at him, blushing in embarrassment.

"Sorry," I grinned weakly, "Yes. Yes, please."

His face broke out into the first genuine smile I had seen in a long time. He gently held out his hook, I laid my hand on it. The two rings slid in easily enough, even being bigger than my actual ring size. I didn't get the chance to properly admire it as I was too busy being distracted by the smile on his face. He was amazing. 

"Wife," he greeted me.

"Husband," I greeted him back. In legal terms, we were still engaged, but in spiritual terms, we might as well have been married for twenty years. Or maybe longer to him. 

"Let's fuck," he proposed to me, nibbling seductively at my earlobe.

Goodness.


	15. Chapter 15

I didn't want to rush our first time together since a long time. 

I wanted to take it slow and easy. I wanted to put all my heart and soul into it because anything less would be blasphemous. I missed Maitimo. And I am sure he missed me too. Why else would we have had that discussion that we did previously. Now that we spoke with each other and clarified many vital points between us, it was easy to be immersed in the distraction that came with re-familiarizing ourselves with each other again. 

I had lost weight. Not a lot of weight, but now my body had shape. I was still short and stout. My breasts were still large, but my shoulders were narrower and sharper. I could now see my collarbones and my figure better. It was a pleasing shape. I had stretch marks on my breasts, hips, and belly but I thought they were charming, as strange as that sounded. I wasn't trying to be body-positive either, as was in the Northern conceptualization of beauty. Stretch marks, especially on such intimate places, were often signs of womanhood in my culture. They were desirable. Even though a lot of Northern concepts dominated our mindset, stretch marks were the one thing that people in festivals made little effort to hide, even making money out of displaying them. I was extremely eager to grow up out of my bleak childhood. 

I slowly took off my pants and my tunic, gently setting them on the rug in front of the fireplace, leaving myself in the a long, thin undershirt and panties. They weren't the conventional panties that I normally wore. They were from here, and they were more of boy shorts. Maitimo stood, watching me, the light flickering in his eyes. His jaw was clenched and his gaze was hot. 

"You pierced your nipples," he noted. I looked down, he could see their outlike through my undershirt--I totally forgot about those. I got them in a drunken fit with my coworkers when I was feeling particularly nostalgic. I didn't really regret them. Back then I was remembering Maitimo's reaction to a prospective piercing, and how he seemed almost eager to see my nipples pierced. In my defense I was drunk and I think I forgot that we were no longer together. I had gotten home and the sad reality of his absence had sobered me up. I remember sitting on the floor of my living room, staring emptily at my cartoon coffee table. The memory of my heart shattering then left an emptiness inside me that made my eyes tear up. Maitimo noticed.

"What's the matter?" he asked me, coming forward and cupping my face. I blinked up at him, trying to giving him my best smile but it came out weak.

"I just remembered how I got them," I chuckled, the memory making me terribly sad. "I was drunk, I guess I forgot that we were no longer together and I came back to show you but you weren't there. It was the second time in my life that my heart broke."

Maitimo said nothing, he only gathered me closer to his arms. "When was the first time?"

"Watching the video of my rape for the first time," I said, sniffing. "Listen, I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Never be sorry, I want to hear everything. We are one," Maitimo said, kissing the top of my head and stroking my side. "I like your nipples which ever way they come."

I chuckled. I was glad he liked them as I expected. I liked them as well. I vaguely remembered a crackhead at the convenience store I used to work at making a crude comment about how I had to have nipple piercings since I was fat. It was a stupid assumption. I had them because I liked them. It was nice that Maitimo also liked them. "Thanks, what about you? No new body modifications?"

"Unless you count superficial scarring, no," Maitimo said dryly, pecking my lips again and stepping back. "Help me undress."

He was perfectly capable of doing it himself. But I enjoyed the opportunity to touch him either way. I complied eagerly, my sadness forgotten, giving him a playful smile.His tunic was weird. It was thick, of good-quality material with no embroidery except at the collar, that was wide enough to reveal his collarbones and deep enough to reveal his tantalizingly sculpted pecs. I think it brought out a small, feminine side of him that was an added charm to him. I pressed a kiss to where his xiphoid process was, seeing that was the only thing that I could reach. I then gently led him to the bed, sitting him down and gently helping him take off the rest of his tunic, pulling it over his head. 

He was looking at me this whole time, never once straying from me. He never touched me once. He didn't wear an undershirt beneath. "Did you do this on purpose? You're teasing me," I laughed. "Aren't you cold?" 

Maitimo chuckled , leaning back on his elbows and watching me with hooded eyes, "No, this weather is mild."

I gave him an incredulous look. Outside, in the Winter moon, the snow was falling as softly as a baby's breath, but it was amazingly cold.

"Right, you and I have different perceptions of cold," I scoffed, letting my gaze slide back to him and pressing a kiss to his nipple, climbing on the bed so that my knees were on either side of his hips. I pulled away, pressing a kiss to his lips before pulling away.

"Pants?" I asked him and he gently opened his legs further beneath me.

"Be my guest," I flushed. This man is going to give me a nose bleed I swear. I gently shuffled down to his thighs. He didn't have a zipper, but on each hip, there was...shoelaces? Strange. I guess that was the norm here. Laces, nice. I gently untied them slightly worried that I might pull them, but they were laced tight at any case, where these pants comfortable?

I fently his hand come and lift up my oversized undershirt, manipulating it. I wasn't sure what he was doing, I was just focused on undoing his laces. Do I undo them all the way or some of the way? I decided to undo them enough to be able to wiggle out of it. It might be a hassle to tie them up from scratch. And then his hand gently moved up my side, pulling it over one breast, revealing it completely. I pulled back, a little shocked. I looked at his face, gauging his reaction. His hand was large enough to make my breasts seem like a small handful rather than oversized pillows. With his thumb, he gently lolled a nipple in his hand, gently playing with the piercing itself. 

Ooooh, that felt nice. I made an incomprehensible sound, gently closing my eyes. This man made me feel like a queen just by doing that. "Maitimo, I love it when you touch me. You make me feel good in every way."

He chuckled. "I love touching you. Nothing about you disappoints me." He gently tugged on my nipple before trailing his hands and running a slow, hard line up and down my slit, I whimpered. That thumb of his was just as good as his dick. I finished unlacing his pants quickly, climbing off of him right before he made another dig at my clit. I was barely holding on to my wits. Maitimo chuckled, making short, neat work of his pants and pulling me back to him, lifting my undershirt above my head and hugging me close. Our skinship was tantalizing. My body was slightly cooler than his so having him against me was nice.

We stayed like this for a moment, tightly wrapped around each other.

Nothing could have ever changed between us, despite his past, present, and inevitable future, and despite my shortcomings and reservations.

*

I woke up to Maitimo slowly sliding into me, gently nipping at my shoulder and moving my hair away from my back, kissing the back of neck. I felt a tear slip from my eye. It was as if it was the first time all over again. It just felt too good to be true. Everything felt different after knowing certain things. He was my husband now. Well, he was before. And I was admittedly put out that I was finding out about my marital status that much time later. But I wasn't put out enough to hate it or the idea of it.

"Maitimo, you feel so good," I moaned. "My goodness, you are so big, I can feel you in my throat."

"One way to put it," he murmured above me, biting down hard in areas of my back. It just spurred me deeper into the heat that was consuming me. In the back of my mind, I was going to be expecting to wake up like a heavily bruised apple. But not bruises of violence. Maitimo never bruised me with bad intent. His bruises came from fondling me, nipping me, or sucking at me. I think sometimes he did it on purpose because he liked seeing me marked by him. Other times he did it subconsciously. I couldn't stay mad at him. At first it was shocking. Now, I might be disappointed if he didn't leave a mark or two. No matter how hard I tried, he never bruised as easily as I did and I never found it in me to try harder. 

"Lift your hips more and spread your legs," he gently patted my butt. What else could I do but obey. I could feel a familiar trickle of wetness run down my thighs. I was getting accustomed to that sensation anyhow, it happened nearly every time we fucked. "Good girl."

Just hearing him say that made an orgasm rip mercilessly through me. I guess now I am realizing that I might have mild daddy issues...mild enough to make me orgasm at a simple phrase.

Maitimo railed me from behind for what seemed like a long time. Long enough to have three more orgasms before he turned me over on my back, lifting each ankle down to my ear and pounding me in a different hole, in a different position. Drool was coming out of my mouth and I could barely see his face from the haze of lust that I was in. It didn't comprehend in my mind that he still didn't come since he woke me up like that. 

"Are you testing your endurance?" I teased him breathlessly when he eased his weight from my ankles and instead lifted my hips, making me wrap my legs around him. "You go on for so long, Maitimo."

Maitimo chuckled breathlessly, leaning down in my ear, nipping at it, making me close my eyes at the added sensation. This man knew exactly what he was doing, and I was not complaining. "Feeling you come around me like this, so many times, is gratification enough. That is my kink, Priscilla."

My eyes flew open when he gently shifted his hips, but the change was monumental, it set me back a few paces, starting over at a gruelling, amazing pace. He set the familiar, hard pace that I was used to. 

"Oh," I arched my back. I loved that he was so rough with me. And slow. I loved his pace. I loved everything about him.

"Let's stay like this," I sighed when both of us finished, sitting up and hugging him to me. "Stay inside me..." I said drowsily, feeling his arms secure themselves around my waist, never once breaking out connection before manoeuvring us both till I was lying flat on top of him and he was beneath me among the pillows, he gently pulled a blanket over us and tucked his good hand beneath his head, leaving his stump against me. 

My eyes fluttered shut.

*

The first thing that I did when morning came, I walked into the ensuite in his room and squatted, peeing away any body fluids that might have remained inside me. Maitimo followed shortly after me and then afterwards, we too a rain shower. It was a contraption in his apartments that had a water fall from the ceiling like rain when the lever was pumped. The remaining water drained into the sewage system that was built beneath the city. The water itself came from the massive amounts of snow from the streets. The snow was taken to a part of the city that melted that snow and filtered it into usable water and delivered the water through a complicated underground pipe system. This city was more advanced than I thought. Maitimo had told me that it was much more advanced in Valinor, even, arguably, more advanced than my world. 

We both took turns showering since the water didn't cover enough surface area to accommodate us. Maitimo went first since he had some matters to attend to. I went after, thoroughly cleaning myself and then putting on my clothes from the night before. 

By the time I was finished and ready to go, Maitimo was back again from doing whatever task he was doing. He had a bundle in hands; clothes.

"Here," Maitimo said, handing them to me. "Wear these. Wearing dresses is not practical for you at the moment."

I thanked him, looking at the clothes they were much finer and thicker; "Yes," I agreed, "Dresses in the summer for sure."

"We don't have summers," Maitimo said flatly. "Our seasons are not like yours. Our winters last for years, so do our summers. We can't predict how long it will last. Our very first winter in this land lasted nearly a score. The last summer lasted only a few years longer."

My face fell. Did astrology and physics not apply to this world? That sounded really shitty. "How long has this winter lasted so far?"

"It's been around twelve years so far," Maitimo said, handing me a plate of cheese and beef jerky. "We don't eat better in the Summers either, it is prime time for orc activity, and they take pleasure in sabotaging food supplies."

This was a tough life for him. "Did you eat already?" I asked him hesitantly, looking at the beef jerky. It seemed like food was a precious commodity here. I didn't want to take and no one else was taking. They probably needed it more than I did since they defended the boarders. 

"I can last a few more days," Maitimo assured me. My face fell, I was horrified for him. 

I shook my head. "No, we share our food from now on, you and I. I don't want to hear you arguing with me." I wasn't going to eat while he watched, the weight of my conscience wouldn't let me.

Maitimo shook his head. "I can last days without eating. We are different, us eldar and dwarves. Physiologically, we can endure much more than you or any other edain can. You must eat substantially each day or else you will be weak and impotent. Do not mind me. When we do eat, we eat well and fully."

I shook my head violently. "This is different now. It's your fault for saying we are married. For me, marriage means we share everything. Maitimo you have to eat with me. Or else I won't eat."

Maitimo glared at me, roughly bending down and grabbing my butt, bringing me closer. "Do as I say, Priscilla. No one will resent you for it. They understand."

"I don't care about them, I care about you," I said, picking up a piece of cheese, biting into it and offering him the other end. I didn't really like cheese like that, but it was clear that I couldn't be picky. I was going to miss the stews and curries and rice that I always cooked. "Eat, for me," I whimpered, giving him my best pleading look, he stared at me, unflinching.

Now to my last resort. I pressed my lips to his and then another to his jaw, it was his fault that he was so close to me. His hand on my butt tightened almost painfully. I came to his ears and pressed my lips against them, I was vaguely aware that he had really sensitive ears. "You deserve it after how good you fucked me," I whispered, as seductively as I could. He stiffened noticeably. 

"Feed me one piece," he finally commanded me,his pupils blown and hot on me. "But that is it. Anything else, I will not take."

I guess that was a good start.

With that in mind, fed him one piece, pressing kisses to his jaw as he chewed. "Good luck," I whispered. 

He looked down at me, his eyes radiating with affection but his face was hard. "I'll arrange lessons for you, starting today. Get ready."

"Ok," I said a little weakly, because when he looked at me like that, images of the very bad things he did to me slammed into me like a truck.

*

The tutor in question was a woman, a human one. The only sign of her age was shown to be a singly silver streak running down her temple, all the way to the ground with the rest of her midnight hair. Her eyes were bright blue and she had dark circles beneath her eyes. She was a very demure woman. She spoke my language, and she spoke Maitimo's language, whom I didn't dare call anything other than Maedhros in the company of others. She was tall and gorgeous, and heavily rounded with child. She had six other children with her husband, who produced fletched arrows for the calvary as a living. 

When I asked Maitimo how the woman, Brethil her name was, spoke the language, Maitimo answered: "The language that we speak, you would know it as English, is Common Tongue here. It is a standard language that all races know, it is a trade language, if you will."

Made sense.

We mostly conversed in Sindarin, Brethil and I. A lot of the grammatical rules that applied in English also applied in Sindarin. We also did plenty of reading and translating. Writing in Sindarin was hard because the letters were similar to Tamil, the Dravidian language. I was totally unused to them. Speaking it was like speaking spanish, but not really. It was really hard.

By then, three years had passed since my first arrival in Hithlum. 


	16. Chapter 16

**_So guys, this next chapter is very inner-monologue heavy but it provides a lot of context and development. Enjoy._ **

A feast was being held.

It was a belated wedding feast. Elves clearly did not put that much emphasis on timing as well as humans did. At least, according to Maitimo, not anymore. Everything was massively out of order. We got officially married late last year, after nearly two long years of engagement. I didn't want to get married without learning some of the language and it took me two years to be intermediate in Sindarin. My handwriting was now at a third-grader's level, which was not too bad seeing as I always forgot to place the dots correctly. 

Also, it took so long because the preparation, the transport of the items for the wedding, the general economy, and the important guests were all extremely far away. I didn't really have anyone on my invitation list other than Brethil and her family. So it was kind of sad on my part. But Maitimo's guest list was extensively bigger and not by his choice. His father and brothers had all committed deep and terrible acts against the general people that lived in the land that they lived in as well. 

And Maitimo, his family, and the people of this land all had one enemy in common; Morgoth. So mending broken relationships was not something that should go amiss. And Maitimo and I's wedding was a good way to go around that, even if I made him promise not to make anything about politics until after the ceremony. Despite the fact that Maitimo was tall, brooding, and scary, he was surprisingly diplomatic when it counted. 

In that time, Maitimo and I had expended on the idea of green houses all around Hithlum. Those greenhouses prove to be economic and a lot of the city's compost was recycled in the greenhouses rather than burned so fine dust and heavy atmosphere was less of an issue. It was still an issue from the active volcanoes in the south that were always spitting fumes and lighting up the night sky. The only set back of greenhouse gases was how expensive they were. Glass alone was a commodity. And not everyone knew how to deal with glass. The few who did, elves, monopolized on the prices, especially since they had to work alongside the dwarves to create the structure. 

I also learned about the deep intolerance the two races had for one another. I didn't understand it, but I knew about both sides of the story. Both sides had similar views of each other; selfish, stingy, and graceless. Not that any of it was true. But most of their dislike for one another seemed to stem from their business relations.

It was also a hassle to keep them warm all around. Heating coal was not an option, and putting water in pools of black marble only helped maintain the heat, not augment it. So fireplaces were built inside the green houses, that also helped heat the water in the pools and maintain the warmth more effectively. The plants grew wonderfully. Maitimo had invested in around nearly five hundred greenhouses in Hithlum. It was a pretty penny but Feanorians had plenty to spare when they sat on a literal mountain of gold. Meals became more frequent, people were busier, and In just a short span of three years, new roads were built and the economy began rebuilding itself, much to the pleasure of Maitimo's advisors.

I think Maitimo's advisors associated the idea of greenhouses with me because in all the time they have been around in this world and back in their homeland, Valinor, greenhouses weren't even a thought. It only began being conceptualized and built when I came around, so in someway, I was making history and I was alright with it. It was really painful to hear that people only ate once every few days. I didn't really interact with the advisors, but I did receive a few gifts from their wives in 'thanks' for what I had no idea. I usually just sent back a few gifts of my own. I wasn't too creative; a hand-knitted colorful blanket or a savory dish was the most that I could make. Knitting was all I had to do when I wasn't studying or plotting with Maitimo.

I already had previous knowledge about greenhouses because my mother was a seamstress, and my father was an architect that specializes in building greenhouses for farming companies in Canada and Norway. Maitimo had done his own independent research back in his world so we both had something to contribute. He had the money and I reinforced his ideas and refined them. I knew enough about bubble wrap to be able to substitute it for selenite. The selenite was mined by the dwarves and refined into thin sheets that covered the glass of the greenhouses, trapping the heat. It was something that had come to me later, after all the greenhouses were built but not progressing in their expected growing rate. The added expense was worth it. It made the greenhouse look nicer. So now each district of Hithlum had around nine greenhouses alone that fed the people, who also worked on it. 

The idea of crop rotation was also something that was heavily emphasized. Cattle were now the most important thing the city had to offer. Each family was given a certain amount of cattle by the state; they had to deliver the feces in the green houses to be processed and curated into fertilizer. It was also a good thing for the families; now they had their own dairy supplement with them. I had cautioned Maitimo against raising taxes in the first ten years after developing the greenhouses because in the first ten years, there won't be any progress; crops took time to grown and not die tragically. Experimenting with the new system was difficult. But the thing with Maitimo is that he had ultimate power in his own territory. No one could go against him. But as far as I could see, he didn't abuse his power. He found a way to provide for his people and recycle the city's waste into clean energy. He even created new trade roads and tiled them over, improving the city's hygiene significantly. Not to mention, plowing the snow from the streets and delivering it to be melted in the greenhouses for water was a huge turnout, especially since rice was staple in every quadrant of the greenhouse. 

One thing about elves, the events they delayed, they delayed for good reason; it paid off. The humans who lived in the city (outskirts) were also open to working, for a wage, helping reshape the city. Of course it wasn't as efficient as modern day, where there was machinery for that kind of work, but it took away from the deadness in the city. These projects were not yet finished, technically. No project was ever technically finished. Maintenance was part of the projects and that was the part that never ended. But I think everyone was pleased, even though initially, people were not cool with the ideas.

And then the wedding planning came and I had to leave all the city work to Maitimo. I don't think I have ever worn a dress since I came here even though I saw women do it all the time. It just wasn't practical for me. Maitimo never commented but I saw women giving me strange looks. i didn't really have any friends among the elves or the edain. I was torn between two worlds. The dwarves didn't really speak with me more than a few friendly words since I was so friendly to them.

I never planned a wedding before.

I don't think they rented out venues here. I was half-tempted to postpone it all till fifty years later when I felt ready. But at the same time, I wanted to see Maitimo's brothers, who never really came to visit. I guess they were still salty about Maitimo giving away the title _King of the Noldor_ to his younger cousin for saving his life. I had to admit, secretly, it was a pretty drastic decision but it healed a very big divide between the Feanorian people and the people of Fingolfin, Fingon and Turgon's father. So it wasn't a completely useless decision in the end. At any point, Maitimo still held the authority of a King.

A feast was _going to_ happen, I should rectify.

I have never seen any of Maitimo's siblings before. I have only heard about them from Maitimo or as rumors. So when I bumped into a tall figure, wearing my ratty bottoms and winter clothes, I thought he was just another random passersby. I was on my way to help clean out the chimneys in one of the largest greenhouses. It was something that I did to kill the time when I had too much to worry about. Who knew that cleaning out chimneys would be this world's equivalent to watching netflix stressfully, knowing that there was so much to get done already.

"Sorry," I apologized, squinting up, but being blinded by the winter sun. 

"You are shorter than I expected," the man said and I blinked, stepping back to fully appreciate the tall man before me. He was not as tall as Maitimo, he had dark features; dark gray eyes, black hair, black fur on. His paper white skin was a stark contrast against his general aesthetic. He was handsome, like his people. But he was gaunt and dark in his airs. I didn't necessarily get bad vibes from him but I sensed that he was wealthy enough to be able to afford fur of this make. That was about all that I could read of him. I wasn’t very perceptive of people, nor could I really understand them. It was one of my difficulties in my nursing practice. 

"Pardon me?" I asked politely in his same language. It wasn't the first time people around here got curious about me. I was basically an oddity. I wasn't tall and nor was I short. I was only short standing next to Maitimo, who was also an oddity among his own people for his height and hair. I should also mention that I was short compared to his people. Among the Edain, who I was sure was human and this was just another term for them, I was average, if a little short even. I was also dark, physically. I was dusky-skinned and wide-featured, small and very curvy. As I gradually lost weight in the years I have been here, my waist was now small enough for Maitimo to be able to span both his hands across and meet at the tip at my narrowest point. It was flattering but slightly concerning. For the first year of my stay, I was always hungry. Portions were meaner and the work that I had assigned myself and that was assigned to me was taxing. My breasts and butt were still big, which was something of an assurance. I wasn’t hungry enough to starve out of my pretty fat.

"And darker," he sniffed disdainfully and I stiffened. Oh, so it was going to be that card. I didn't want to start trouble.

"Excuse me," I said politely, moving out of his way, giving him a small curtsy and walking away from the man's general direction. 

"You are my brother's wife," he scoffed and I paused. So this was one of the six other blood-thirsty brothers, huh?

"Yes, and you are one of his brothers," I said stiffly. I wasn't sure how much respect I owed to him. But I wasn't going to let him walk all over me. Maitimo and I will be having a serious conversation about this. He already started of on rude footing and his reputation to me wasn’t sparkly. He has a long way to go to earn my respect. And I had a long way to go to earn his consideration because in the end, he was still family and I couldn’t ignore that. After all, Maitimo was my family now. I sacrificed everything for him (not something I had a say in, clearly, but not something I regret). I owed it to Maitimo to be on my best and most diplomatic behaviour.

"Caranthir Feanorian, at your service," he bowed gallantly. Oh, the moodiest one. Maitimo warned me about him. He told me that between Celegorm, Curufin, and himself, to whom Caranthir was close, Caranthir was more sinister, while Celegorm fed on insanity and Curufin had a superiority complex. I thought Maitimo was being overly-dramatic and I still do. I couldn't tell if Caranthir was sinister from this exchange alone, no matter how unpleasant it has started on.

"Priscilla," I curtsied, "At yours." I still wasn't sure why people said that to one another when they greeted one another for the first time. It just made me feel like we owed each other a debt. "If you are looking for Maedhros, he's out on a patrol right now. He'll be back in a few days. I assume you are familiar with your way around the city, Maitimo said you would be if ever you visited. I'll be at the greenhouse over there."

His eyebrows raised at me, seeming to be slightly surprised. "Is that a way to accommodate your new family?"

I shrugged. "No, but I can't abandon my job either. I'll be back at sundown and give you a proper welcome, Prince Caranthir."

He said nothing else to me, only scoffing before turning and walking away. I sighed. It felt terrible to leave him on a bad note like this. He is my family after all.

"My prince," I said, running up to him and grabbing his hand, stopping him from his long strides. I didn't look up to see his face but I could see him stiffening. "Do you want to see the greenhouses that Maedhros designed?"

Caranthir looked at me, half-disdainfully and half-intrigued. Was disdain a base to his demeanor? If so, it wasn't doing him any favors. I took a deep breath. "I would like to show it to you anyways."

"Go ahead then," he said, gesturing, "Lead the way, small woman."

The mention of the past pet name that Maitimo had for me made me cringe. Maitimo used to refer to me as 'Small Woman' when we first met. I had hoped to get past that. I still wasn't sure if it was an insult. It was quiet a walk to the greenhouse, because it was built in pockets of the city that was not filled. Hithlum wasn't just one big city. It was an entire area as big as Texas. There were landmarks to identify it but it was mainly just referred to as the city. The walls enclosed a massive amount of space so that there were many empty spaces inside the walls themselves. This part of Hithlum was Maitimo's protectorate.

"Innovative," Caranthir remarked once we reached the structures. Nine greenhouses stood central to one another. . In height, it wasn't as large as I hoped it would be. It large enough to fully accommodate tall plants. But in length it was impressive. It was the length of a three football fields. "It does not seem very fruitful in such weather."

That was the primary reason for backlash when we (Maitimo and I) first presented the idea to the people. No one believed it could support vegetation. Now it was the main source of nutrition and we were always left with excess, which we took to storage.

"It's fruitful," I assured him, "Want to come inside? It's warm."

He made a slightly disbelieving noise before following me, ducking to get in to the greenhouse. The greenhouse was split into quadrants by a cross. The cross itself was a marble pool, curated black, holding massive amounts of steaming water. In all four quadrants were the same thing:Rice. In each greenhouse, there was a specific vegetation growing. We focused on the staples: squash, tomatoes, rice, wheat, onions, cabbage, potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, and soybean. It was difficult to come across such vegetables in the winter.

"So the black in this pool absorbs the sunlight that in reflected through the selenite, the material that covers the greenhouses, and heats the water up, it is pretty good to maintain the heat and humidity. We have chimneys at each pillar of the greenhouse Those help keep the warmth in. The greenhouse is made of glass and selenite to trap the warmth from the sun. The good thing about selenite, is that when it is so fine and thin, it not only contains the heat, it also reflects great amounts of light from however little the weather decides to give," I was explaining. "We take food waste from the city and crush it to create something called compost. That is when we mix it with cow dung and hay, it's an excellent fertilizer for plants and it keeps massive amounts of energy in. The thing about greenhouses is that they constantly need large amounts of fertilizer, that's why every family has some cattle. Cattle dung, especially cow, is extremely important."

All the time I was explaining and walking him through, I noticed he was covering his mouth, I didn't blame him. I eventually got used to the smell. The rice was growing beautifully so clearly my words held some merit.

"How did you manage to conclude all of this?" Caranthir finally asked in a strained voice, walking along the black marble of the pool. I had taken off my jacket before coming in here. I was already sweating. It was so hot and humid in here.

"We did it where I'm from," I shrugged. "I don't know where that is if you are wondering."

"How can you not know where you are from?" Caranthir asked me, scandalized.

"It doesn't exist anymore," I said, trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. I always missed home. The greenhouses were all I could get that was close enough to home, even though I never saw one nor did I ever come near one.

"Plants in general are good at recycling," I continued with my explanation. "They recycle compost and cattle dung into usable fertilizers, they convert bad air into breathable air, and they require lots of water, which good because the snow on the streets now has a place to go. It's melted and taken to water the plants. The greenhouses are really expensive and they require a lot of upkeep but now the people depend on them. It really helped with the starvation epidemic that everyone had going on. It also keeps a lot of people busy outside of their crafts. Everyone likes the greenhouses because they are warm as well. But we try to restrict the times which we can open the doors to the greenhouse to prevent air from escaping. I am maybe hoping to build secondary entrances in front of the greenhouse entrance so that anyone who comes in and needs to come out doesn't disrupt the flow of heat."

I was babbling, but I was so invested in it. It was part of my 50 page report that I had submitted to Maitimo about greenhouses when I first presented the idea and the materials needed, with rationale.

Caranthir interrupted me. "Do you eventually find excess in your stores?"

"Plenty," I affirmed, "We have over 500 greenhouses just like this. Growing seasons also vary veggie to veggie. The greenhouses are all standard. The excess that we have allows us to eat everyday till we are able to plant again. We try not to plant in the same spot twice. What I mean to say is we try not to grow rice for two seasons in the same greenhouse. We like to switch the rice with yam or something to help the nutrients in the soil regenerate. If the soil is depleted of a certain nutrient that is needed to grow rice then we can't use it anymore, which would be a bigger concern. That is the part that takes the most time and effort because you have to take out the root and replant everything from the beginning. But it keeps everyone busy."

Caranthir wasn't speaking. I assumed he was just listening. I was hoping that he would take notes, this could be helpful if his people also eat every few days.

"You can't grow trees in these greenhouses?" Caranthir asked me and I shrugged.

"We never tried. I don't think we built them large enough for that, which I think is a big concern as well because trees provide fruit. Fruit is a different class of nutrients that is just as essential, especially in this weather. But I guess we can still make up for it by planting the vegetables that do have those nutrients," I explained.

"You are a very knowledgeable woman," Caranthir observed, "I commend you. At anyhow, I must leave now. I cannot bear it in here, for all it's...glory."

"Yea sure," I said, waving at him lamely. "I won't be back for a while so don't wait up if you do."

"Do not worry yourself over my happenings," Caranthir said darkly and I raised my hands in surrender.

"You are your own person," I said, picking up a pail and brush for sweeping. "Talk to you later then," I waved him off, not once looking at him. I did my diplomatic duty. Now I am beyond reproach.

*

Caranthir stayed in some part of the palace that I didn’t really venture into often. IWe didn’t really cross paths except for the mealtimes. The projects of the greenhouse have since given us annual fruitful bounty and now everyone in Mithrim, Maitimo’s protectorate, ate well and healthy every day. 

“Not a lot of meat, is there?” Caranthir asked and I narrowed my eyes at the plate.

”No,” I agreed, “Cattle are more useful to us alive.”

”How so?”

”They provide our citizens with important nutrients in their milk to withstand this weather,” I said. “Their feces are used as fertilizer to help plants grow—don’t worry, we clean our plants before serving,” I said idly, stabbing a carrot. “Our meat is rationed.”

”Meat also has nutrients that are important to maintain your body’s upkeep,” Caranthir said dryly.

”Not anything that can’t be found in beans and lentils,” I said airily. “I will make sure to include more protein options in the meals next time.”

That put an end to our conversation. Very critical man, isn’t he? I wasn’t going to tolerate it. This wasn't his house, he shouldn't dictate to me what I should do. If he had an issue with me he can take it up with Maitimo in private. I trusted Maitimo to defend me because so far, that is all he has ever done. He was ridiculously over-protective of me when I was in the company of any male, even the elves, his own kind whom he knew better than anyone. 

After the meal, I walked in to the kitchen, sitting with the head chef, a tall ellon with bright gray eyes and permanently furrowed brows. He wasn't gentle at all. He was mean but he was tolerable once I got on his good side.

"Prince Maedhros' brother, Prince Caranthir, is here," I informed him. 

"I already knew that," Loeril said grimly. "Gritty man, he is."

Figured. "We should add more protein options in the menu for him," I said. "A roast maybe."

"Fair," Loeril, "Be cautious around him, Princess. He is of a foul temper, and an even fouler spirit."

The warning was similar to the one Maitimo gave me. 

"Have you ever had personal dealings with him?" I was merely curious. Loeril eyed me critically, as though debating what to say. I didn't blame him. Now that I was in a position of power by bond, a princess, I can see people stumble over their words and manners around me, as though trying not to offend me, even though I was an edain, so they weren't sure what to make of me. I could see myself in that behaviour. When I was around management or someone in power, whose title I wasn't sure about, I was always trying to think really carefully about my responses. 

"A few," he finally said. Before this was even the castle it was today, I was the leather master, I observed his dealings with those who were less powerful. He is not a kind man; his pride and his cruelty are non-distinguishable."

Ouch. Maitimo painted fair light about Caranthir. 

"Thank you, Loeril," I finally settled, bringing out the menu and putting it before us. "Now onto the menu, we can switch the corn-cobs here and replace them with a roast, right? A small fowl maybe?" I suggested.

"How long will he be here for?" Loeril's features pinched. Fowls were tricky to catch and protein in general was reserved for the soldiers and maintenance people who worked at the walls' defenses.

"Till Maedhros returns," I said. "That's what I got. I think he intends to stay longer after, till the wedding at least."

"Plan the wedding sooner then," Loeril said darkly and I pressed my lips together to keep in my snort. I was a little paranoid that Caranthir would be lurking in the shadows and listening in. I might be untouchable because of Maedhros's protection, but Loeril might not be.

"Right," I cleared my throat, swiving off the topic. After we finished planning the menu, Loeril gave me a few corn samples to try. Sweet corn was nice...the lentils were picked too soon...shit the flowers.

I had way too much to worry about. Starving fowls for the menu was the least of my concerns at the moment. 


	17. Chapter 17

After what felt like forever, when really, it was just a few days later, Maitimo and his patrol party had finally arrived, carrying a moose carcass, dismembered for easier and lighter carrying. I cringed. I would never get used to this sight but for many people in the vicinity, it was a beautiful sight to them. All I can think about was having to clean the blood off of these poor horses. I pitied the stable masters. I didn't even like horses, nor did I like the taste of moose.

Still, it was a delicacy. It was something that the soldiers on the wall and the patrol party would feast on soon. 

I had travelled this morning to the wall to come and greet my husband. It was customary and expected of me as a lady of this house. Normally I wouldn't really bother because I actually did have things to do but this was not my culture. I was a permanent guest and I had to abide by and observe the rules and customs of my place and status. 

I think the only thing that I really didn't abide by was the pants and dresses. Dresses were impractical and hindering in this weather. If I were to wear a dress, to keep warm, I would have to wear several other layers and it would slow my general mobility. I was not up for that. I was already always exhausted because I never used to work so hard, physically, before, and on so little food. So I settled for the cloak that I made, where it was like a jacket, so it provided more warmth, warm socks and boots that were gifted to me by one of Maitimo's advisors. I had tied my hair up in a braid. It had grown so long in the last couple of years. It was now down past my butt. 

Maitimo had rode in past the walls with his party. I heard the horses before I could see them. The scene wasn't new to the spectators. But it was always new to me. He would ride in, on a light trot, but the winds of Hithlum always made it seem like a runway show. I personally wasn't used to such beauty, especially how handsome he looked in his armor and his black fur cloak. But everyone here, including the other edain and elves, who have mingled here in Hithlum their whole lives, was used to it. It was new to me every time.

Caranthir was on his horse behind me, I could feel the darkness of his presence and I couldn't find it in myself to muster a smile. All the warnings about Caranthir made me queasy around him. I didn't observe any adverse behaviors around him so far. But I was still queasy. Maitimo wasn't looking at me as he came in, Caranthir is whom he was looking at. But I knew that I was in Maitimo's radar because he stopped his horse right next to mine, gently pressing a kiss to my forehead and riding past me to greet his brother. They both spoke in rapid Sindarin. I couldn't understand a few things, I was not so proficient yet. I was still pretty bad at Sindarin but I was understandable.

I turned my horse around, because it was useless to just stand there. I greeted the men of the party, but they had soon after dispersed. I turned to Maitimo, gently tapping his shoulder. "I'll get going then," I told him briefly. "There are a few things I need to oversee."

"Go ahead," Maitimo said, pressing one last kiss to my forehead and soon, I was back on my business. 

That evening, Maitimo and Caranthir, after discussing what they had to discuss, had travelled to the walls to feast with the soldiers and men of the wall. I hadn't really prepared anything for that night because it always happened that the patrol parties feasted at the return of the parties they sent out, who all came and arrived at the same day, no matter the circumstance. I settled for a broth and a peice of stale bread that I had been progressively working on for weeks. There wasn't a lot of food in the kitchen to work on for Loeril, so I ate with him that night. Loeril, when he wasn't doing his chef-ly duties, was helping me around along with his husband in the greenhouses. His husband, Tamaril, was a quartermaster to the storages all over the city. 

It took me by surprise sometimes how open the elves were with their partners. I suppose gender wasn't a factor when considering their soulmate, to the elves. Homosexuality among the elves wasn't uncommon, it was normal as well. I wasn't a homophobe by any means for observing that. I just understood the stigma from the LGBTQ+ movement in my world, and the history of atrocities committed against them. I tried to think of a time where the edain and the dwarves were disdainful of the homosexuality. But no one openly expressed it. I suppose it was fine. 

Tamaril and Loeril were very similar to one another. After living with each other for so long they adopted the same mannerisms. They were both difficult to get along with and were very mean to those who were outsiders. They disdained custom and tradition. It took me even longer to get on Tamaril's good side. Eventually we occasionally shared meagre meals together and then working together. I wouldn't call it friendship, but I was comfortable around them. 

We spoke of somethings. Well they spoke more than I did. I was shy to speak because I hated when I messed up. In front of Maitimo I wasn't afraid to mess up. He never judged me and he only wanted me to be the best. It got lonely sometimes but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. besides, it was lulling to hear them speak to each other and pick up on some words and understand their gist. 

In the kitchen, there was a small room where Loeril, Tamaril, and I sat. It was a short table with cushions for seats, so it was easy to lie down on my side and watch the starlight and the firelight dance on the crystal glasses that were halfway filled with white wine. My eyes gently fluttered shut. 

I woke up again to soft voices, one of which was wonderfully familiar;

"How do you do, Loeril? Tamaril?" Maitimo's voice was low.

"Well enough, Prince," Loeril said, his voice lacking the usual bite it had, not for the lack of fear mind you, he was probably tipsy from the wine. "Good thing you got here, wouldn't want to leave the lady of the house on the floor like this."

"Would you have left her?" Maitimo asked, his voice faintly amused and perturbed.

"No, we would have fetched you to do the job, she is _your_ wife."

"A blanket would have sufficed," Tamaril said smoothly.

"Much appreciated," Maitimo said dryly. I felt someone pick me up--yes, this was Maitimo. I turned my face to his chest, he smelled refreshed and cleaned. I opened my eyes blearily, he was walking away with me in his arms. I felt like I was miles up.

"Wait," I murmured. "Put me down, I can walk."

Maitimo complied, gently setting me on my feet. I tiredly waved back to Loeril and Tamaril before following after Maitimo. 

*

"When do the guests arrive?" I asked him. "And how many?"

"I didn't invite too many guests," Tamaril said airily. "But each guest has their own procession which we must accommodate. They will stay for the month."

I groaned. Why? 1 month is too much, it is literally every single expense, times thirty. 

"This wedding is not going to take a month," I scoffed. "That is just wasteful, stupid, and unnessecary."

"It will boost the economy and the affluence of your house," Loeril pointed out, logically, much to my chagrin. "We will provide clean boarding, a three course breakfast and lunch and a five course dinner, and music and entertainment with each meal. Laundering, the sheltering of their steeds, and other expenses will be on them. It was explicitly explained in the letters accompanied with their invitations, to avoid any awkwardness or confusion. Every person on this guest list has one thing in common; frivolous spending habits and the wealth to vouch for it. All the merchants and traders are coming explicitly for this event. Your people won't run out of jobs. And your taxes, with the consensus system that you yourself enforced, will rebuild your coffers by the next year, with plenty of profit to enjoy."

"It's a blow to our coffers," I muttered saltily. "And our storage supplies."

"That is the one thing you won't have to worry about until after the wedding," Loeril said. "In three years, you have single handedly managed to afford the protectorate of your Lord a filling plate for each meal and a livable wage. This wedding will surely dent that, but the efficiency of your innovations has insured that this would become a lesser problem than we may anticipate. You have plenty of storage supplies for this wedding _and_ for your people. Better use it now than let it spoil, I say."

"You just really know what to say, don't you," I sighed, defeated. "I didn't even look to entertainment yet."

"I am logical," Loeril said smoothly.

"Micer," Tamaril muttered under his breath nastily and I gave him a stink-look. That was a ballsy statement of him when he wasn't the one spending the money.

"Your husband can afford it. The gifts that you will receive will compensate tenfold for the cost. This is not a poor guest list. Even their processions, made up of soldiers and advisors, will not lose an opportunity to spend money," Loeril said. "You are expected to provide a memorably good time for your guests.

"It's still a disaster," I insisted. "The security measures and the safety. I am pretty sure that more than three quarters of this guest list don't like the Feanorians. Not to mention, we still have the walls to protect."

"Good point," Tamaril said, faintly impressed. "We can just borrow manpower from Prince Maedhros's brothers. It wouldn't be the first time that the Princes have exchanged and borrowed man power. At your expense of course."

Great, another added expense. Fair soldier wages were not cheap and I wasn't a capitalist pig; everyone deserves a fair and equal wage for a job done exceptionally. Which is what made everything so much harder and so much more expensive. The Tamaril on the wedding-planning team was that he had plenty of experience with these matters.

"Do we even have the funds for this wedding?" I asked, helplessly.

"You do," Loeril said, pulling out the thousand-page ledger. "Your greenhouses cost a pretty penny, especially for the amount of time _you_ had them built in. But they are incredibly profitable; they bring in money to yourself, and nourishment to your people, leaving you with plenty of surplus. A happy people is a compliant people. You don't need to buy the food, you only need to pay someone to cook, present, and serve it; for a month. You just saved yourself an expense there. The manpower on the walls is an expense we can do nothing about, and neither is the man power within the walls. Drunken brawls, especially in a wedding like this, in the given circumstances, are an unavoidable expense."

"What about the wine?"

"At least five different beverages are essential with respect to each of the groups you had invited; Dorwinion for the Silver elves, Miruvor for the Noldorin, brandy for the blue dwarves, and butter ale for the men. All of them are known for the copious amounts of wine that they drink. Your expense will mostly go to that section. You will also need to learn about the flavor profiles of each group, to accommodate their cultures accordingly. This wedding may be about you, but it really isn't."

"Figured," I agreed. This wasn't something new to me. From the moment he had proposed to me, I realized why nothing might ever be about me. I understood the urgency of peace. I understood his position. Class, position in life, _waiting_. It was something that I understood better than anyone else. It was something that I was raised to understand unconditionally, after my aunt and uncle, in their whirlwind marriage and their different standings, shook the foundation of my family. 

"We will also need to find a way to store the food that we prepared so that it doesn't rot. We'll need to build a small house near the kitchens, no insulation, let the cold preserve the food. It has to be big enough to accomodate 1 month worth of food; three meals a day, three courses for breakfast and lunch, five for dinner....we need garcons as well...music...how big is our hall?"

*

"You forgot to plan your dress," Tamaril reminded me and I stiffened. Why was he telling me this now? "Or should I say, dresses? You need at least fifteen dresses if you're trying to budget severely, including your main dress. You can only re-wear them twice, and not twice in a row."

"Will we have time to make all fifteen dresses?" I worried my bottom lip. Everything was falling into place. The food and decorations were going smoothly, everyone who was able to in the vicinity was helping and getting paid for it. Dresses were hefty to make. 

"Are there any colors that I shouldn't wear?"

"Completely avoid black, don't overuse the red. Gold is fine in accentuation, you can only use flowers four times before it gets redundant and...wear a lot of jewellery." Loeril listed off, sounding tired. 

"I need to get measured first, do you know any seamstress?"

"It will be difficult to get anywhere with these Noldor. Seamstressing is not their hobby as much as the Vanya were fond of it."

Great. 

"Anyone?" I pressed. "Anyone decent?"

"Raise your standards," Tamaril said dryly, writing a few things on the leger. "Try gaining a little more weight or you will be shivering this entire month. Dresses are hardly material for you to be able to withstand this weather. Us elves, we endure much more than you can."

"I can just wear pants underneathe," I brushed it off.

"No you can't, you will be dancing, and your ankles will definitely show. It's scandalous to wear pants underneath a dress."

The misogyny in this statement was going to drive me insane. "I can't even dance," I pouted. Loeril looked up at me and scowled; "Learn."

"In a month?"

"You can do it," Tamaril said derisively, the tone suggesting he did not believe in my capabilities, as he should. I was trash at dancing. I never could do it like my parents. Besides I doubted that the few dances that I knew were the same dances here. Loeril made a non-committal sound under his breath, handing Tamaril a wild berry that he was shelling out from his basket. We had an abundance of berries where ever we went. I didn't usually get to see them interact like this beyond a 'professional' way. They were always cool and collected. Even though they were married (the only way I figured it out was because they had the same ring on and insisted about having no blood relation at all. Eventually, a few months later, they told me that they were married) they never usually expressed skinship or such other love language. I guess handing his husband neatly deshelled berries was Loeril's love language. They were the exact opposite of a stereotypical gay male. There were no feminine hand movements or tones of voices; just stoicism.

So now I had to find a seamstress. 

*

My own measurements surprised me. I was staring at the paper. My waist size had dropped nearly 20 centimeters, which in itself was amazing. Everything rubbed less. The good thing about this all was that I didn't have as much loose skin as I expected, I guess it took me nearly three years to lose weight. Nice. I wonder how I must have seemed to Maitimo now.

I was jarred at my thoughts. I don't think I had a single sexual thought about him in the last few months. Maitimo was too busy with heavy patrol duty with his brothers to make sure the area was free of orcs for the travellers and the wedding. I was too busy planning the wedding, constructing the venue, and making sure everything is in place. To try and imagine what we looked like to each other, now, was like a slap in the face. A wake-up slap.

But the thought now washed away. There was no use in distracting myself with thoughts of Maitimo when all there was so much more to do. I will get my time with him in a couple of weeks. Besides, his presence here meant the wedding was now ready to happen. I was not ready for it to happen. Still so much to do, despite the exceptional progress that Loeril, Tamaril, my army of advisors and workers, and I did.

I spent a week with the seamstress planning the dresses with her. I guess my ideas and hers clashed often because many times, she nearly refused to create a design for me because it was too scandalous or some other thing. Apparently fashion was a must. But really, I don't know who came up with the statements and who even considered them when the foreign guests came. No one really communicated with each other so there was no point to adhere to the zeitgeist. 

Safe to say, I was very inflexible.

It was nice to have power sometimes, even though I didn't like abusing it at all. 

So with my measurements, I commissioned seventeen different dresses. I tried to stick to the pastels as much as possibles. Bright colors signified affiliation and I tried to stay away from that. I only had three red dresses for Maitimo's colors and I included a lot of golden accents in all my dresses. I made them all long-sleeved and fur-rimmed. if I had any open areas (open back, sweetheart neckline), I covered over it with lace for taste. 

The only one I decided to go all out in was my actual wedding dress. It was inspired by the saree of North India. It was also one that I knew how to make because it was once a very large project commissioned for my mother; we made several sarees over the course of six months for a wedding that was taking place in Brazil. We worked with other Indian dress-makers so I had a very good idea of how to make it alone. It wasn't my cultural dress but it was what I knew how to make and it was my own taste from home. But I wasn't going to keep my midriff exposed like the Indian custom. Even I had to draw the line on that one. The saree itself was made of pure white silk, with star embroidery around the hems, and was fifteen feet long. The neckline of my bodice was a sweetheart neckline and long sleeved. The bodice itself laced from the front so that the saree could cover it, but at the same time, not cover it completely as I make the silk fine enough to be somewhat sheer. .The lower petticoat was long, touching the ground and leaving a soft trail behind me, nothing too excessive. For the saree, I would have to make eight pleats that I ironed down and sewed together on the white petticoat that I had on. The pleats were even and straight which pleased me greatly. 

"What do you think?" I asked Tamaril and Loeril when I walked out in my white saree, barefooted. 

I was too busy fixing my saree to notice their initial expressions but when I looked up, there was a look of confused mortification on their faces. 

"What is that?" Loeril breathed.

"It is the dress of my homeland," I said bluntly. It was kind of true. It was the dress of my world, not my culture per say. I had just adjusted it for this weather. "It's a Nivi Saree."

Tamaril closed his mouth, seeming to be speechless.

"Is it pretty?" I asked again, getting a little nervous. I wasn't going to change it for them because I absolutely wanted this dress to be the masterpiece. It was gorgeous to me.

"It is a little simple," Loeril said slowly. "I don't know what to make of it."

"I'll wear jewellery," I dismissed. "I'll wear a brooch on top of my shoulder to hold this together." I gestured to the saree that was draped over my shoulder.

Tamaril cleared his throat; "It's form-fitting."

"Who knew you had the figure of a violin," Loeril said dryly and I beamed at him. Good, getting somewhere.

"It will be scandalous," Tamaril warned me. "It might be patented in history for being so...unique. But I cannot say it is hideous. It is different...a good different. It might ease the tensions between the people, give them something else to talk about aside from blood shed."

"Nice," I grinned, feeling slightly guilty for taking a culture that was not mine in my own name. But there was nothing that I could do. I was not in that world anymore. "Good. I'll take that."

I showed off my other dresses that the army of seamstresses all over Mithrim had worked on for me. The blue-prints that I had created for them to follow were well-worn now. But they followed the pattern as I instructed. I could see the unique style of each seamstress in all of the dresses. I liked that it wasn't exactly how I drew it out to be because in any case, the added touches of the seamstresses made it all better.

"None of your dresses adhere to the culture of your husband," Loeril observed.

"He is my husband," I said dryly. "Not my entire universe."

"One way of putting it," Tamaril cut in, unimpressed. 

"I made the effort of representing him," I insisted. "All of the dresses have an 8-point star somewhere at least once, or in some pattern or form."

"No reds," Loeril observed. "But black, agains the counsel I explicitly gave you?"

I gave him a dry look.

One dress was black. It was a long silk dress, with the dynamic agility of water. It had glass pearls sewn all over it, giving the illusion of stars. It was a boat-neckline, resting off the edges of my shoulder and revealing a massive expanse of back in a low v, kept from falling apart by a strip of strategically connecting black lace at the top of each shoulder blades. 

"Night sky," I confirmed. "Red is too harsh. I really liked pastel colors though."

"Well, a tribute to Vaire does not go amiss," Loeril sounded pained.

If they are that scandalized and amazed by the dresses, I am doing something right.

"Good."

*

The wedding is almost here. Guests began being spotted as early as a week before the actual ceremony. I was getting excited. I had to cross over nearly seven hundred boarding rooms, within the castle and outside, making sure all the rooms were neat, tidy, and habitable. I have yet to see Maedhros. 

Anyone will be caught dead slacking. I should have written that in large print across the door of ever entrance to any wedding area. It was a hilarious thought and made me chuckle briefly. Of course everyone was getting paid and I think everyone had the idea that this was the opportunity of a life-time. I mean, left-over foods will be given to all the families in Mithrim. That was reason enough to work.

The entire city was buzzing with excitement.

In comparison for me, all the excitement happened during the planning. Now I was crashing. Wouldn't it be better to get married by proxy. I had come to realize that, lowkey, Maitimo contributed nothing. Yes he did arrange the security, boarder-patrolling, and protection for the wedding, which was a huge component, but I was still upset that I made all the decisions when he knew best. he better not be upset with how everything turned out. 

"The party of Doriath is nearly at the gates, Princess," Tamaril informed me and I stiffened. Fuck, Doriath. They were the group that we were shaky with. It was important to leave a fantastic impression on them.

"Will it be alright if I greet them?"

"You are the princess," Tamaril said, his tone suddenly diplomatic and non-committal, as the wedding day grew closer, both Tamaril and Loeril became less personable. It was easier to depend on them that way, I find. They were calm and level-headed. So it would be alright if I went crazy around them, they can stir me back again in the right direction. "They cannot be offended."

"What do I wear, is this alright?"

I was wearing a blue dress with brown pants beneathe. My hair was in a braid and I had made a little effort to seem presentable. When I first got news of the guests' sightings, I began putting much more effort in my appearance in the random instance that they do show up earlier or later than expected.

"Acceptable," Loeril said. "Come on up on your horse. Make your House proud."

The party of Doriath came with a huge procession of around twenty people; three of which were women. 

"The lead rider is Prince Celeborn, nephew of King Thingol, behind him is the daughter of Thingol and Melian, Princess Luthien," Loeril was whispering in my ear. "Behind her is Lord Thranduil, cousin twice removed from Princess Luthien. Daeron, Lord Thingol's minstrel...Silas, advisor of Prince Celeborn...Mablung Captain of Doriath...Beleg Cheif Marchwarden of Doriath..."

Alright. Got it. The general appearance of these folk was a striking difference to the Noldorin people. It was no less impressive. They were tall and fierce looking, with astounding beauty. Their hair was the color of quicksilver. They were tall and proud. The only person who was different among them was Luthien, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Luthien was dark-haired and bright eyed, with skin so pale and lovely, that she almost seemed unnatural. Her shoulders were broad and her eyes were wicked-sharp, as perceptive as a hawk. But the men in her procession were even more intimidating. Not as beautiful, but really intimidating, and no less impressive. Princess Luthien had to be the most striking person I had ever beheld and I could see many peoples gazes straying towards her. I could already tell I will be outshined in my own wedding, even if the Princess wore a sack of potatoes. I wasn't too upset though. Literally anyone here could have been leagues prettier than me. 

"Good day to you," Prince Celeborn greeted. His hair was incredibly long and he had the facial structure of a Michelangelo sculpture. Not as handsome as Maitimo though, my inner cheerleader said proudly. He was unsmiling and his gray eyes were colder than I expected. It was a little bit of a reality check. These were people that my husband and his own people have wronged. The frostiness of his greetings put things in perspective and showed me just how much harder I needed to work to make sure that I did not mess up.

"Pleasure meeting you," I greeted, giving them my best smile. "My name is Priscilla. We were expecting you. Your travels were safe, I hope?"

"Safe as can be, and not for the lack of darkness," Prince Celeborn said diplomatically, his face stiff as he gazed at me. I didn't expect a smile from any of them, even Princess Luthien, in all her beauty and glory, couldn't afford a tilt of her perfect lips. I expected the frostiness from the men if I was being honest. 

"I am sorry to hear that," I cleared my throat. "We've prepared rooms for your stay. I hope you do not mind sharing. A hot bath will not go amiss, I hope?"

"A hot bath is welcome," Celeborn said, inclining his head. 

"I won't keep you then," I said, turning my horse. "I'll let you wash and rest first. After, we can properly introduce ourselves when everyone is well rested and has had a chance to explore a little."

I led them to the palace itself. The elves of Doriath were given a special place in the palace. I had reserved five fine rooms just for them, each room with four beds. 

"These are the keys to the rooms, please don't lose them," I said. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. We do have a selection of wine and pastries."

"Just a hot bath will suffice," Celeborn said stiffly. It was clear that my hospitality to them was making them uncomfortable. 

"Alright then," I said, the servants around me efficiently carried the parties luggage to their respective dorms. Was it right of me to show them to their rooms? I hope I didn't embarrass anyone. "Please rest well."

I vacated the hall and walked outside of the palace. Maybe it was time to visit my greenhouses, check on them.

The greenhouses were a little bare now. I had used everything for the harvest of the wedding. My greenhouse yielded the fruit of its labor just in time. I could see that it was growing again after the soil and fertilizer had been recycled and turned over. Before the greenhouse closest to the palace was for squash, now it was going to grow corn. Nice.

"Did you expect them to be this cold?" I asked Loeril as we walked towards the greenhouse. 

"I expected them to be even less forthcoming," Tamaril cut in. "Your sincerity does you credit."

Alright, cookie points to us so far. "I'll go order some snacks to be sent to their rooms. What do they usually snack on?"

"Baked sweet potatoes and dorwinion will not go amiss," Loeril said. "You have those in abundance."

"Alright," I nodded, "I'll go and order some to be sent up to the Doriath procession."

We detoured towards the 6 acres of land reserved for culinary and cleaning purposes. I gave the cleric the order for twenty baked sweet potatoes, wine, soap, and towels to be sent up to them. 

"How are the squash coming along?" I asked one of the porters once we reached one of the greenhouses.

The man bowed to me; "This greenhouse is growing pumpkins, ma'am. The pumpkins have just begin to germinate."

Good, progress. 

"Keep up the hard work," I said, slipping the porter some pastries. 

"You spoil your workers," Tamaril said dryly, "They get comfortable and lazy."

"A happy worker is a loyal worker," I insisted.

"Your optimism sickens me," Loeril scoffed. 

"So far it's working."

"Pray it works till the end of the month at least," Tamaril said. 

"I am just loving your pessimism," I said dryly, revelling in the warmth of one of the greenhouses.

"Realism," Tamaril corrected me.

*

"What is this structure?" I jumped at the sound of a voice behind me. I turned around, three people stood there; Mablung, Beleg, and Celeborn. I flinched in surprise. I did not expect them to approach me. I didn't even expect them to speak with me. I was bracing myself for the fact that they might disregard me or even be cruel to me. I was told that the Sindarin elves were good at tormenting those who have wronged them, as anyone is, really. I was kind of apprehensive that they might ignore the purpose of this wedding, and ruin all hopes for reconciliation.

I turned to where they were indicating; greenhouses.

"Ah, those are greenhouses," I said lamely. "Do you want a tour?"

I turned to gauge their expressions.

"What is a greenhouse?"

Oh boy, here we go.

I explained to them the concept, purpose, and the profits of a greenhouse. I explained to them the effect it had on our economy and how it had helped us provide for the people of Mithrim. The three men listened attentively, and even followed me around when I took them on a tour that they never consented to. I showed them the mechanisms and materials that we used to build the greenhouse. I was so impressed at how well they listened that I found myself getting into the measurements of the greenhouses. As you can tell, I was very knowledgeable and passionate about this. This was a large scale, massive project that took me weeks to manifest and build. 

"How have you reached this conclusion?" Celeborn finally asked me, when I stopped to take a breath. "What made you realize the function these...greenhouses?"

I turned to him, and realized that the three men seemed incredibly interested in what I had to say. Wow, they had really large attention spans. "Well...where I am from--not from here, obviously--we have these things. It's just something we know."

"Where are you from?" Mablung asked me and I started at the man's voice. His voice was incredibly deep.

"Not here," I said, uncomfortable with the question. "It doesn't matter anyways. That place is no more."

"Has something happened?"

Against my better judgement I said; "Yea, it became uninhabitable. Too much conflict--too many enemies."

"Enemies," Celeborn repeated, perturbed. 

"Yes," I nodded. "They destroyed my city. It's no more."

"I am sorry to hear that," Celeborn finally said. 

"So am I," I said, turning around quickly before they could see my tears. I miss my home. It wasn't destroyed. It was just unreachable now. It was just a memory now. It was easier to say that it was destroyed than it was to explain the phenomena that was my presence here. But now was not the time for homesickness. "Maedhros helped me, he was so kind to me."

They didn't say anything. We just continued with the tour until the end. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Wedding dress for reference ^^^ Credit: _Natashathasan_ on Tiktok.**

It turns out, tying your corset up six hours before your wedding was not as easy as I thought it would be. Even with the help of maids. Well, it was easy for them, but breathing got so much harder andI could that I couldn't properly sit down. As in, the lower half of my body would not properly bend. I cried on the inside, but didn't dare to cry on the outside because I was wearing makeup. Or the closest variation of. Kohl and carmite were my only 'viable' options because I knew how they were made. I'd seen it. My skin was amazingly clear for my wedding day, something for which I was immensely grateful for. It must be my reward for working so hard these past months.

But my work wasn't done. I was nearly losing my mind trying to make sure everything was in place and all the guests were comfortable. I tried to ensure the placement of everything and I thoroughly rehearsed how the wedding would proceed, without Maitimo. Maitimo didn't show up until the day of the wedding, which kept me up at night because I did not want to get married by proxy. I didn't mind that I was the one planning everything. I had Loeril and Tamaril acting for Maitimo so I had a rough idea of his preferences. I also didn't want the burden of being considerate to what Maitimo wanted so much as what this present day and age demanded, which was already so complicated, given that not everything was a click away on some shipping giant like Amazon.

Here the soonest delivery could take weeks and I had to make sure I considered everything before putting in an order, which could end up costing me so much, and take even longer to arrive, sometimes with not everything the way it should be, given the terrain and the danger along the way. A protection fee was always included on anything that I ordered. 

But everything came, and everything was going smoothly so far.

"You will have to walk it alone," Tamaril warned me, for what felt like the hundredth time. I was in no need of reminding that I would have to walk the isle, towards Maitimo, alone, in front of everyone. Of course it would have been different if my father was here. It hurt no less to hear him saying for the hundredth time. It was like getting injured again and again, in the same spot. "Keep your balance, and your head down. You will be wearing a veil so no one will see your face. But do try not to cry, as you do whenever I say you will have to walk down the aisle alone."

Tamaril was not so understanding, clearly.

"Fine," I huffed, taking in a deep breath and blinking away the tears, but they ended up falling anyways. I sniffed miserably. I guess my wedding day will not be the happiest day of my life. It was going to be the saddest. I had no family attending, my father was not going to walk me down the aisle, and worst of all, I had no picture of them. I was homesick for them. I missed them so dearly, especially now. How must they be feeling, that their only daughter was now dead? They never got any grandchildren from me to pass on their legacy. I never even got to say that I love them, despite how bleak my childhood was. Even when they neglected me or didn't care enough, there was still so much love that I felt for them that I could never explain. I'll definitely miss my aunt, uncle, and their lovely children; Paulo and Jolie.

"Alright, fine," I said, wiping away my tears, but they just kept falling. 

"You ruined your kohl," Loeril observed, wiping my tears, tentatively, as if I was some horrid creature, with a napkin. It was vaguely, if offensively, sweet of him. He was never sure what to make of me, so I didn't really blame him. 

"Thanks," I sniffed, finally calm, "I'll re-apply."

"Have a tonic, for the nerves," Tamaril said, handing me a small, cute little vial. It was blue and it looked like there was poison inside it. Will it kill me?

"Will it kill me?" Tamaril gave me a droll look at the question.

"No," he said slowly. No further explanation. I unscrewed the top and drank it. It was sweet. No effects.

"It doesn't work," I pointed out. "It tastes great though."

"I'm glad," Loeril sounded amused. "The doors will open in a minute, everyone will be looking. Fix yourself now."

He held up a silver plate and handed me a kohl brush. I wiped away the black streaks and re-applied the kohl. There, good as new. Trumpets blared.

"Now," Tamaril whispered. "You will be alright, my Lady."

"We will wait for you at the front," Loeril said. "Walk at an even pace, let your appearance sink in. Let the people see you and want to look at you a second time. Not that they will be able to, you will be ahead by then."

"Alright," I took a deep breath and nodded. I was ready now. I needed to do this now and get it over with. I took one last glance at my reflection on the stained glass doors. My figure amazed me; I was shaped like an hourglass and the corset of my saree made the tops of my breast look amazing. My skin was glowing like a dusky sunset and my hair was half down and half-up, and now it was so incredibly long, thick, and curly. I loved it. I was wearing golden jewellery, with rubies encrusted nicely in the jewellery. My dress was plain but it's assembly, even to me, was absolutely unconventional and gorgeous. My shoulders were straight and feminine, and my waist was delightfully cinched. My little hip-dips were also an attractive point to me. My face, right before I pulled the veil over it, was slim, with a high forehead and cheekbones, with carmine lips and dark-rimmed eyes, with impossibly long lashes and large, dark eyes, glittering in my reflection. My cheeks were delightfully blushed and my teeth were white. I was exactly how I imagined myself to be, and better. I am ready now. 

The doors opened and all eyes were on me. I didn't pause to observe the reactions of the people. My main goal was the tallest redhead standing at the front, wearing a magnificent crown, decked in magnificent steel armor, and looking straight at me, taking in my appearance. He was my goal. I forced my pace to even out. I needed to let my appearance sink in. I tuned out everyone else, even when I could hear the whispers.

I didn't even trip. Whatever Tamaril and Loeril gave me in that concoction certainly did it's job. My head was clear and my breathing was calm. Good.

Just as I reached the altar, after what felt like forever, the snow began falling softly. My saree was designed for warmth, but in a while, it would not be able to withstand this cold. Just as I came forward, Maitimo turned to the front, facing the shrine and Fingon, his King. Fingon looked different. His face was stone hard and his eyes were dark blue. He didn't look at me, instead, he focused on Maitimo. I sort of expected that. Still, it made me a little nervous. I glanced around--Loeril and Tamaril stood there, giving me encouraging nods. I gave them a smile behind the veil. Now I wa officially going to get married.

I turned back around and Fingon began giving his customary speech to the masses in Sindarin. I didn't really understand as much as I would have liked because it was like the Shakespearean version of Sindarin, but I listened anyways, avoiding looking at Maitimo, who was so close to me but so out of reach as well. I couldn't mess up right now, especially when my feelings were going to over power me any moment. 

Ahh, there it was, the phrase that I recognize. Fingon will ask me first, and then Maitimo next, as per custom. And this is what I will say;

"I accept this man, Maedhros son of Feanor, son of Finwe, to be my husband, before the Gods and the witnesses," I said. I glanced back at Loeril and Tamaril when Fingon repeated the same question to Maitimo. They both nodded, approval clear on their faces. Good, I didn't mess up there. Maitimo said his line. 

"...Take this woman in your protection...you are now her lord, and she your lady...Love, respect, and honor one another...." Maitimo wrapped his fur cloak around my shoulders, suffusing me in warmth. There it was, the officiating part of the ceremony. The whole point of this 1-month, money-eating affair.

And it felt amazing.

It felt right.

I could feel my smile coming over, spreading widely across my face. My happiness today--nothing will ever make me so happy again, I was sure of it. THis moment was for me. It was mine and it was perfect. I was with someone I loved--my family now. Officially.

I turned towards Maitimo, who slowly lifted my veil, gently setting it behind my shoulders. I must have been a sight for him; I brushed my teeth especially hard for this moment. And boy was he a vision himself. He was smiling, so softly, it probably wasn't even there, but I could see it. His eyes were brighter than ever. His scars were just as I remembered--it was shocking to see him again after so long. His beauty was mesmerizing. And he just looked so goddamn good, standing there in his suit of armor, so tall and muscular.

Goodness, was a man.

He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, and applause followed. I turned to the congregation, unable to stop myself from smiling and for the first time, I could see the faces in the crowd--I recognized a few of Maitimo's brothers whom I had met, I recognized the main characters of the part of Doriath and the Edain parties. I could see the blue dwarves, sitting on raised chairs. I could see the Avari, who were invited, though hesitantly (not on my part, but there was some stigma against them). It was really a diverse inauguration. Many were smiling on to me, and many were stone-faced. The eldar, especially, were stone-faced. I was warned about this; unions between a mortal and an eldar were generally frowned upon, if not completely unthinkable. 

In fact, one could say it was banned. But Maitimo was a Prince of the Noldor, and powerful in his own right, despite staying on 'borrowed' land (from the elves of Doriath, who technically 'owned' all of Beleriand). So I am pretty sure they didn't know what to make of us, a couple. It wasn't even a strategic match for land or wealth. On my part, I brought nothing forth on to the table except innovative ideas, which really, weren't an appealing first impression, even to me. It was a 'love' match, through and through. The eldar were not as romantic as I thought, despite the whole concept of 'soulmate' that they identified religiously by.

Maitimo raised his hand, as though to greet, holding out his other hand, which was metal, and allowing me to take it. He led me away down the middle of the crowd. I shook hands with the people who were there, giving him my best smile. It was easy to smile now that I got the nerve-wrecking part over with. 

All was well.

For now, I think.

*

We were sitting on a raised dais, in an open hall. One by one, each party game to greet us, then going back to mingle with the crowd, where refreshment and wine was being served. Soon after would be dancing, and then the entertainment and food. I was a little nervous. Would they like the food?

"You look gorgeous," Maitimo murmured. "You were absolutely fantastic, everything looks perfect, Priscilla. You did well."

"Thank," I chuckled, a little nervous. "It was difficult to budget, really."

"That is of no consequence," Maitimo said. "Loeril and Tamaril told me you were very conscious of such aspects and saved quite a bit of expense doing that. Well done."

"Thank you," I said, leaning against his arm on the love seat. "Did you protect the borders well?"

"Well as can be," Maitimo said. "We cleared the area of Morgoth's filth, and I am keeping the wall on guard, day and night. Patrols are being sent out daily."

"Good," none of that made sense to me, but it sounded like everything was being handled without him needing to be there, so that was really good. "Will I dance with your brothers as well?"

"You will have to dance at least once with every male in this room," Maitimo sighed and my jaw dropped--no one told me this, tonight? No--he could not be serious--absolutely not!

He glanced at my horrified expression and chuckled. "Before the end of the month," he clarified. "But yes, tonight, with my brothers and with the High King, certainly."

I recognized Finrod in the crowd--he was chatting with a tall, gorgeous woman, with hair so long it touched the floor, a mix of silver and gold. It was the most beautiful head of hair I have ever seen on anyone. And the woman herself was also very beautiful; she must be his sister, Galadriel. 

"Thank goodness," I sighed, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't think the musicians had enough songs for me to dance with nearly two hundred people. "I don't think my feet could have handled this-I don't think my feet could even handle _eight_ dances."

"They will have to," Maitimo sighed regrettably. "Eat well, because I'll fuck you good, tonight."

Oh shit, I totally forgot about that. Having sex with him sounded like a tedious affair right about now. On normal circumstances, where I wasn't a walking cloud of stress and fatigue, this was something I looked forward to and even _craved._ He was a machine in that field. Even then, I could barely handle him while I was energetic. Planning the wedding and stressing about it was surprisingly draining and I found myself being exhausted quiet often now. Still, it was a very appealing thought if I ignored the eight pending dances that I had, and the surprisingly long night ahead of me. One of 31. 

As expected, Luthien and her party from Doriath stepped forward to give their felicitations. I couldn't find it in my heart to be jealous of her beauty though I was unashamedly admiring her nonetheless, and I found I wouldn't blame Maitimo from admiring her either, but respectfully. Beauty was a subjective concept. It was an entirely independent variable to the actions of men, but dependant to time, which is objectively, in every sense of the word, independant. But Luthien was timeless, she would not age. Her beauty was an independent variable, immune to all those around it. This also meant that no matter anyone's standards, it would be very difficult to find anyone else such as she more beautiful, even if they preferred sunny blondes.

After a rapid-fire exchange of words that I barely understood, but enough to give my customary replies, Luthien presented me with a small box. I looked at it, faintly surprised. The guests' presents were supposed to be placed at the table a few feet away from us, and judging by how quickly it piled, we might need another. I didn't plant the gift table as I should. From what I had originally understood, gifts were not something I should be concerned about, given the lack luster reputation of Maitimo's household and his past. 

"Oh, thank you," I said, trying not to sound unsure. I didn't want to make her feel embarrassed. "Can I open this now?" I wasn't sure. Was this something private or something for later? Would it hurt her feelings if I accepted it like that? Would it strain the divide between the Sindarin and the Noldorin?

"If you wish," Luthien said sweetly. Was this a trick?

"I'll open it now then," I informed her, giving her my best smile. I opened the box. Inside the box, on many tiny crystal stones that looked like coarse sand in a box, was a...gem? It was a large, aquamarine gem. It was beautiful but in my mind, I had no logical use for it. Perhaps as a decoration?...At anyhow, it was gorgeous and the sentiment was much appreciated. It was my fault for over-analyzing a gift. I was just like that by nature, a bad habit I picked up from my parents, who never liked to receive frivolous gifts that they could not use. 

"It's gorgeous," I said, my voice sounding sufficiently awed. I wasn't being ingenuine. It was truly a beautiful stone. It had a very...beach-y aesthetic to it. "Where do you find a stone like that?"

"Tis a fruit of the Wrath of Ulmo, the Lord of Waters," was this a joke? I had to take it seriously though. There were things in this world that were real that I never imagine they could be. And I was already familiar with Ulmo--not personally. He was like a God of the Sea to Maitimo and his people, and clearly, the people of Doriath. Apparently, he was a real person too. "May this stone bring you good fortune."

"I really appreciate this," I said sincerely. "I'll treasure it."

Maitimo thanked them. Both parties curtsied deeply to one another. We were technically at equal status so no one party could have _not_ bowed.

Then came Maitimo's twin brothers. They looked faintly alike, with similar coloring to Maitimo. Maitimo's features were broader. His twin brothers; Amrod and Amras, were both slight compared to their older brother, but not in want of a build. They were both handsome and their demeanors were friendly, at least, friendlier than their brothers'.

"Good to see you, brother," one of the twins said. I was going to name him Amrod, just to be safe. "Congratulations, sister."

"Thank you," I decided not to address him. Can I call him brother? By his name? What if I confused it for the other twin? Or worse yet, another brother? "I am pleased that you could make it."

"The travel was easier, thanks to his efforts," Amras said, clapping Maitimo on the shoulder and hugging him, shiving a little package in his hands. "Enjoy parenting this."

I tensed. Parenting? Like kids? They gifted us a kid on our wedding? I wasn't going to say no but I was confused as to how children can become such iterable objects that they are _gifts._ I looked at the bundle in Maitimo's arms, ignoring the twins as they snickered at my confusion. Oh, it wasn't a child, it was a _puppy._ I felt my heart melt.

"Let me hold it," I demanded. I never had a puppy before. I always wanted one but eventually life came around and it became impossible to even help myself survive, let alone take care of a puppy. I wasn't familiar with this breed. But it had the features of an australian cattle dog, with two mismatched eyes. It was still a puppy, yawning and mewling, and squirming around. It was just so...fuzzy. "Is it a boy?"

"A girl," Maitimo observed, gently depositing her in my arms and taking away the gift box that Luthien had gifted to me, setting it safely in the folds of his cloak. She seemed so tiny when Maitimo was holding her. Now she was a little bigger in my arms but it was clear that she was still weaning from her mother.

"She is absolutely gorgeous," I cooed, my heart melting. This was the best present ever. "Oh, I already love her."

"Would you like to name her?" Amras offered. "It has been only a few weeks since her birth."

I nodded eagerly, glancing at Maitimo, did he want to have a say in this? "Do you want to name her," I offered him.

"Knock yourself out," Maitimo drawled, leaning against the arm of the sofa, watching me. I gave him a little smile. So many names crossed my mind. 

"How about...Clementine?" I said. "Little orange," I giggled. "Oh she is wonderful. She is a baby! Did she eat yet?"

I looked up at the twins, who were watching me, unsmiling. Was I doing something wrong? Was I not supposed to show emotion?

"We are glad you enjoy her," Amras said. "Clementine, a unique name."

"Delicate," Amrod agreed distastefully. 

"A beautiful name for a beautiful puppy," I insisted. "Thank you both so much."

"She should probably have something to eat in the next few hours," Amrod said, and soon, we were joined by Caranthir, who as eyeing the puppy in my arms. 

"A good breed," he observed. "Active, will need a firm rearing hand."

I didn't see myself taking firm measures with Clementine. I was absolutely determined to spoil her.

"Yes, of course," I said anyways. 

"Congratulations, law-sister."

"I appreciate you," I said, giving him a smile. It was not a day to have tense feelings. Already, Clementine was fast asleep in my arms after fifteen minutes of conversing with Maitimo's brothers. I did the conversing, she did the wriggling around. 

"You speak strangely," the only blonde of Maitimo's brothers, Celegorm, observed. "The customary phrases that you use are not so conventional to us."

"It still has the same meaning," I said. "I see no need to change it."

"You are a strong willed woman," Celegorm observed. "You will have a hard time rearing her in, brother."

"We have an agreement between us," Maitimo said, his voice unreadable. "We can manage."

And manage we surely will.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, the next update will take longer because school started and is going hard. I might go back and edit/alter a few things in the story so that it isn't the exact same every time you read, but don't count on it. Thanks guys.

The feast was a splendid affair. Everything fell into place. Tamaril and Leoril agreed to watch over Clementine while I was busy greeting the guests and making sure everything was ready. But I didn't have to. Everything was managed well and there was no shortage. The night was going well and soon, I began relaxing and I even enjoyed a few sips of wine from the cup that Maitimo and I shared. 

But one thing that I noticed: the sexism. I got the impression that elves weren't too big on differentiating between genders the same way humans do. But I guess sexism was a classist thing as well. The higher in rank you were, the more your gender mattered. Of course there were a few women advisors to Maitimo but I never gave it much thought. It just seemed so normal to have women in offices that held a significant amount of power. I even loved to see its normalcy. But that clearly wasn't the case with the Noldorin Royal family.

I was clearly an outlier with the way that I behaved with Maitimo. But he never censored me or told me to act in a different way. Tamaril and Loeril censored me a lot more than Maitimo did but even then, they didn't technically have the right to do so. One thing about class, is that it was a well defined concept. So they didn't presume to tell me how to do my 'class' per say. They advised me about it and I took it accordingly. But clearly that was not enough.

But with class came my privilege and protection. Maitimo outranked every single one of his siblings. He could have outranked his cousin except for the fact that he gave up his crown for them. Still, he was ranking up there. So Maitimo's brothers could only say so much to me, or could advise Maitimo for so much with regards as to how to _handle_ me, the audacity.

So I enjoyed the privilege of my rank. 

I danced with Maitimo on the first dance, ad then with King Fingon, and then the other six Princes who were Maitimo's brothers. Dancing with Maitimo was a memorable affair. Because it was just so nice to be close to him. We haven't been close for a while. We danced together for what seemed to be 10 seconds, before King Fingon took over, and then soon, all six brothers were dancing with me, one at a time. Maglor was the kindest of them. I didn't have a long enough conversation with any of them to truly assess their personalities closely. But I would be lying if I said I had no predisposed 'expectations' of them. I was already influenced by what I heard about them and by their rap. But Maglor, he disappointed me a lot for some reason. He was far too kind and gentle to have done such awful things. I can believe it of Maitimo, as backwards of me as that sounded, but Maglor...well, it kind of hurt to see it. 

But everything else was fine after that. The dwarves and men seemed to be especially pleased with the turnout of the feast so it was really nice to speak with them. Some even spoke my English, which I found absolutely delightful when I was going my own way and speaking with the guests, while Maitimo mingled with his half of the species. He was looking as though he was interacting relatively well with the people of Doriath and the 'dark elves.' I wasn't sure why they were called that. When they were saying 'dark elves', I thought it would be like, dark haired elves, but it was literally if afro-american people became elves. It was unexpected because so far, I could only see white-passing individuals around. But a sector of the humans that were invited had afro-american features and they were honestly the sweetest. The names that were given to these peoples was really unfitting. 

"You did a great job hosting this feast," Maitimo said, coming to stand next to me, watching the merrimaking. Eventually, the tension from every corner of the room seemed to melt when the jovial music began. "It surpassed my expectations."

"There were way too many details to take care of," I sighed, remembering the disaster that was the planning. "I am glad the turn-out was nice though. How is diplomacy coming around on your end?"

"Not as well as I had hoped, but not disastrously worse either, having certain siblings around can be detrimental to my efforts," Maitimo said, tucking a peice of hair behind me ears and leaning down, gently nipping the shell of my ear, making me gasp. I didn't dare pull away lest someone see what this giant goon was doing. "You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, my Love."

"Thanks," I patted his chest, moving away when he released my ear, I was hot all over, exactly what I avoided. "Don't do that in public, what if they see?"

"Who?" Maitimo asked innocently, gently feeding me a candied berry before my furious response--ooh, that was nice. 

"You know," I flushed. "That was good, was that on the menu?" The menu was so big that I forgot. 

"No," Maitimo shook his head, "It was a gift from Celegorm, his portion of the camp specializes in candied berries."

"Nice," I said, taking a few that were offered in his large palm. "They taste really good. They have a tang to it."

"It's what makes them addicting," Maitimo said, accepting a berry in his mouth that I offered. I was standing and he was sitting down next to me so that our height difference wasn't awkward. He was still taller than me while sitting down. So us having a conversation didn't require him to squat, which would have looked weird. "Your cloak is warm." I noted, wrapping it tighter around myself. 

"Hmm," Maitimo said non-committally. "I got the heaviest one, Tamaril warned me that your closet choices may not be sufficient for the weather at hand."

"Thank goodness," I sighed. "Fashion and comfort don't go hand in hand. I was willing to shiver through it. It's my first time in a while that I'm wearing dresses, might as well make it count."

Maitimo didn't speak. He only wrapped an arm around my hips, bringing me closer so that I was almost on his lap, watching the crowd. 

"Maedhros," I spoke after a while, watching a tense conversation unfold between Caranthir and Beleg, or was it Thranduil? "Tamaril said that I must have a few sword fighting and lancing tournaments in my wedding."

"Yes," Maitimo said. "It is custom, as well as a necessary diffuser. It is safer to fight in play than to fight in spirit."

"Anyone can compete against each other?" I didn't get too much into such details with Tamaril and Loeril. Brethil seemed to approve the idea. I neither understood nor was I interested in such sport. As a result, all the planning was left up to Tamaril and Loeril. And it took up the majority of the activities that the wedding had had planned, and a good portion of resources from the armoury."

"Anyone," Maitimo said. "But one must be brave and strong. For those who will compete are nearly unmatched."

"Who do you think will compete?" I asked. I already had a vague idea. It would surely have to be at least three of Maitimo's brothers; Caranthir, Celegorm, and Curufin. They all had nasty tempers and an appetite for it. They might even cheat in these games and I was helpless to stop it. I could try to prevent it though.

"Certainly Caranthir and Beleg from the looks of it," Maitimo had noticed and there was displeasure saturating his tone. "It would be a hard won match, if the reports about the Cheif Marchwarden's prowess holds true."

I trained my eyes around for any conflicting zones; the blue dwarves and the Avari were cold with one another and there was some discourtesy between the every single party, at some front, with one another. Wow, no one liked anyone. 

Jeez.

"When is the soonest we can leave?" I asked, my eyes trained on a member of the Blue Dwarves who was approaching us. "I want to sleep, tomorrow is going to be more tiring."

"We can leave right after this dance," Maitimo said, nodding towards the member of the party approaching us. I smiled, greeting him.

"A dance, princess," the dwarf-lord bowed. I curtsied. "Of course," I said graciously, taking his hand. Maitimo discreetly patted my hip. The dwarf-lord, was from the Line of Durin, Prince Nu. It was an infamous line. He was taller than the rest of his party and came to shoulders. But I was short compared to everyone else so I didn't feel too put out by the height difference. He was handsome, with stony features and sharp gray eyes. 

"Thanks for coming to this wedding," I said, as we danced to a slow, four-partner song, with others of his kind. "It's good to have you here."

"You invitation was well-received," Prince Nu said gruffly. 

"I'm glad," I said. "It's an honor to meet you. I heard that your people specialize in mining volcanic ores."

Prince Nu looked faintly surprised. Whenever I start a diplomatic conversation and show how much I know about them, everyone seems surprised. Do I really look that stupid? Or maybe they expected me to be stupid? How come the elf women didn't seem to be surrounded by such a misconception? I could see that human women, like me, were. Wow, ok.

"Yes," Prince Nu said stiffly. Ok, sensitive topic? I heard that they were secretive and suspicious.

"That's very commendable," I continued. "And dangerous. Working with mountain fires is no small feet."

"Yes," Prince Nu repeated. "Us Dwarves, we can withstand such heat, tis well-known."

"Good," Awkward conversation and I suddenly realized, not once beneath that bushy but intricately braided beard of his did he ever actually smile.

The song thankfully ended. It wasn't an unpleasant dance. But awkward dancing partners seemed to be a thing. He was graceful and more than accounted for the small height difference between us. But by nature, he was stand-offish and cold. We appropriately greeted one another goodbye and Maitimo took over from there so that I didn't have to walk off of the dance floor alone.

I danced briefly with Maitimo and soon, another round of alcoholic drinks was served. By then, we were able to sneak out quietly and relatively unnoticed. On my way out, I could see Tamaril and Loeril, both sitting together on a bench, with Clementine sleeping between them speaking quietly with one another. I gently approached them, thanking them softly and gathering the sleeping puppy in my arms.

"She drank water," Loeril warned, "And we fed her a few morsels. You will need to make sure she has passed that."

"Alright," I said, a little unsurely.

"Let her on the ground and she will go now," Tamaril said, nodding his head to Maitimo when Maitimo came.

I obeyed, watching as the little puppy sleepily tumbled around before squatting and taking a go.

"Alright then, good," I said, watching her sniff around some more and have to more goes before sleepily collapsing on the ground. I walked up to her, bending down and picking her up in my arms. Yes, my puppy.

"She is so cute," I gushed quietly to Maitimo. "I love her, she is absolutely adorable."

"She won't be sleeping on our bed or in our room," Maitimo told me gruffly, pulling me to a quiet corner where we strolled towards the fortress, where our rooms were. "I won't allow it."

I pouted, "Well where else will she sleep?"

"Outside--"

"No," I said, furious at his heartlessness. "In the living room, the one that no one uses, there is no furniture there."

"As you wish, my Lady," Maitimo bowed, guiding me there. I gently set Clementine on a makeshift pillow, where she was so small, and kissed her forehead.

Tomorrow I will take better care of her. Tonight, when Maitimo was already undoing the back laces of my corset already and leaving gentle bits along my shoulders, I could think of no other place to be.

Tonight ended well. 

*

I was completely naked. Before donning my dress, I had taken a long soak in a bath with a lot of mineral oils and had moisturised as best as I could without clogging my personal scent. I knew that elven senses were sensitive. I didn't want to overwhelm them and ruin my classy facade. 

I think I did well. 

Maitimo eyes never once left me as I puttered mindlessly around the room, trying to remember where I left the towels I prepared so that we don't ruin the sheets. I didn't want to pile on laundry or risk not getting bed sheets returned. 

"Are you wearing your nipple piercings?" Maitimo asked me, stopping me and tugging down my under dress that I wore beneath the corset to stop it from making lines on my skin. A nipple popped out and yes, I was wearing them. 

"Just for you," I teased, watching his eyes darken. As though in a trance, he gently freed the other breast, making the dress shimmy down to the floor off my body. 

"The garter as well," he noted, his eyes, sharp as ever, zeroing in on the garter in question. It was white like my dress. I shimmied off my panties, patiently watching as Maitimo took off his tunic. He was ripped for the gods. His body left me breathless, with butterflies in my belly and all the relevant areas. I self-consciously crossed my arms before letting them down. I came in confident. No need to lose confidence now. My appearance didn't change in the few hours that I put on my dress and took it off. 

I was where I wanted to be. Still, I couldn't help but give a shy little smile. What was so different now? Was it the knowledge that I was officially married to him? Was it the left-over nerves from wanting to please every single difference in every single guest that I had invited. Maitimo, still in his pants, but with his feet delightfully bare, slowly approached me, his eyes gauging my expression. Did I look nervous? Did I look scared? It's been nearly three months since we had last seen each other. We had gotten so busy that it was a luxury to even see each other. Did I look different? He certainly did; his hair was longer, his face was sharper, and his body and scarring were all so much more defined. 

His good hand reached out, stroking my inner thigh, grazing over the garter; "You made sure it squeezed your thigh," he noted, just as I noted his tightening pants. "You look amazing. You look gorgeous."

The good thing about Maitimo is that he notices all the things that I wanted him to notice and he did not fail to compliment me. I gave him a grateful little smile. 

"Can I kiss you?"

Maitimo suddenly jerked, as if in shock. I recoiled in concern. His demeanor changed. He suddenly had a stoic look on his face. "What is it?" I was a little afraid. It wouldn't be the first time kissing him. We shared many kisses; sweet kisses, deep kisses, and kisses when we were the closest we have ever been. What was different now.

"There is something I must show you first. I had recently recovered it when I returned to my world. It had been stolen from me by rogues, but after so many months, I have managed to recover it."

I looked at him, not speaking, patiently waiting for him to show me his little 'package'. He slowly walked to his desk, pulling out a ragged leather bag, and gently took out a familiar teapot. It was the teapot that I gifted him so long ago. but entire chips of it were missing, including the nose and the handle. I still recognized the 'fun' colors on it. The tiger teddy, worse for wear, looked like it was dehusked and dragged through the mud. Maitimo took out a small leather bag, and gently began taking out the pictures. So many pictures; the pictures that I gifted him in my underwear, all twenty of them, the bookmarks pictures that we took together at the christmas booth, and other pictures that--my family.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was staring at pictures of Paulo, Joyce, my aunt and uncle, my parents...just family pictures and memories. I was in absolute shock that they were there that I felt my knees wobble and before I knew it, I sank to the ground, Maitimo barely catching me. I was sobbing in his arms, naked and shivering, my blood like ice in my veins, and my heart in pieces, laid bare before me.

I was devastated.

But I couldn't be angry at Maitimo. I had no anger in me, just heartbreak. 

"I am sorry," Maitimo whispered in my ear, kissing my forehead and my tears. "I was not at rights to keep this from you even longer. The moment I returned with this bag, it was not an opportune time to give you these pictures, I would have ruined you on your best day.This is the absolute soonest I could give them to you."

I nodded in understanding, crying harder because of how caring he was. My homesickness and my heartbreak gave me a headache that came from my incessant crying. 

Nothing happened between us that night. Maitimo simply held me gently and reverently placing the pictures back in his drawer and taking me to bed, to cry away my heartbreak and sleep deeply.

*

I woke up to Clementine, my puppy, snuggling next to me and yawning. My heartbreak from yesterday was still there but seeing her was a pleasant start to my already gruelling day. Maitimo came and sat next to me on the bed, his weight pulling me closer to him. I gently stroked Clementine's back, unable to look him in the eyes. I didn't know how to feel about the knowledge that he took pictures my family's pictures with him. Did he know that I would eventually end up in his world?

"Why did you take their pictures?" I finally asked him. "I understand my pictures, but why theirs?"

"Because they were a part of you," Maitimo finally said. "I wanted everything of you for myself, as selfish as that sounds."

My mouth felt like dust. "Do you have a glass of water?" I slowly got up, I had one more month of a wedding to get through. Then this would all be over and I can properly cry to myself and wallow in my heartbreak. I just missed them so much. Maitimo handed me a cup filled with water. I drank it and got up slowly, quickly taking a shower and putting on my next day's dress. I put on my makeup and braided my hair. 

I didn't look like I cried for hours last night. I was fine with that. 

"How do you feel?" Maitimo asked me, not touching me. He was watching, me not cautiously. He was ready to face my wrath and my emotions. But I found I couldn't be angry with him nor could I blame him. I just found myself being grateful. I was grateful for his obsession with me. For his selfishness when it came to me. Without those qualities, in which I saw redflags so long ago when I watched him murder three men with a cleaving hammer, I wouldn't be able to keep my family close to my heart, no matter how unreachable they are.

"Thankful," I finally said quietly. "Just thankful, Maedhros."

Maitimo said nothing. I slowly approached him, pressing a kiss to his cheek and gathering Clementine in my arms. 

My broken heart will heal eventually. 

But for now, I was grateful to have Maitimo by my side, and now Clementine.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHA so guys I left you guys dying for a spicy scene for a purposely long time just to be an asshole. I gotta say, I lowkey deprived myself too. Get your milk ready, cause it's about to burnnnnnn.

The next day was just as exhausting. The dancing and the sitting through the songs and ceremonies. It was enjoyable last night. But now, my heart felt heavy and my stomach was churning. It was as if these pictures finalized the true extent of the distance between myself and my family. Maitimo did his best to comfort me and make excuses for my reclusive behavior and I felt bad for him. I didn't want others to think he was treating me badly. I just felt bad, out of my own mind.

So the morning after that, after the snow was paved from the arena specifically designed for the 'strong person' competitions, I made it my goal to put on a smile. I was faintly aware that I might have seemed like a psycho, one day I am down and the next I am fine. But what else could I have done? I simply put on my mask and put on my best 'competitive' dress. It was more of an armored dress, really. It was a blue dress, with bright cherry blossom leaves sewn onto it. I as a bit hesitant bout the contrast when designing the dress, but it turned out fine. The leaves were sewn on the folds and spread all around the hems of my dress, so that it seemed like water. I wore Maitimo's fur coat from the ceremony over my shoulders and styled my hair in a simple fashion, so that I didn't take away from the festivities. I wanted to bring as little attention to me as possible, without looking like a miserable gout. 

So I sat at the honorary stand. with other non-participating members of my court, as well as other important guests who were also not participating, including Brethil, my mentor and friend. Though she rarely spoke outside of our classes, she was amiable, if silent company. I was mildly unsurprised to find that Luthien was participating in the competition, along with several other sheild-elleths from Maitimo's own ranks. 

And they were all glorious. Where the men were fluid and graceful, they seemed so bulky and heavy set compared to the women. If I was seventeen years younger, watching this whole thing unfold, I would have been heavily impressed upon to become like them. Alas, too late. Still, it was extremely enjoyable to watch their lithe, muscled bodies dance in such a dangerous manner. 

Luthien went against several sheild-elleths, tying with them. Not only was she the most beautiful person I have ever seen, she was also skilled in dancing and fighting. I briefly wondered what it would have been like if I was more like Luthien; tall, striking, and perfect. Would I have had an easier time with Maitimo? Would Maitimo have been kinder to me when we first met?

I tried to imagine myself different, like a build-a-bear, but with me. Ideally, I would be tall, at-least a foot sorter than Maitimo, instead of 2. I would have straight hair instead of curly hair. My skin would be fairer and my eyes would be deep turquoise. But as this 'ideal' me began to unearth in my mind, I became mildly repulsed. I was unused to such features on me. I much preferred my own. Besides, being mildly uglier than everyone else built character. 

And then Maitimo entered the field, his game against Prince Celeborn, who was almost the same height as Maitimo. They were speaking to each other, tense smiles on their faces, their gazes mildly weary and heavily calculating. This pairing kind of put me on edge. Those were two individuals; equal in rank and prowess. They were the highest ranking officials in this wedding besides King Fingon and Princess Luthien, who ranked higher than Prince Celeborn due to her direct lineage with the King Thingol and Queen Melian, her parents. However, Maitimo and Celeborn were also on opposite ground; there was deep animosity between the two, stemming from the actions of Maitimo and his people. It was difficult to ignore it. I gulped, weary. 

I could already anticipate a tie before blood was shed. 

But a tie was unsatisfactory, and can create built up 'steam', which can ultimately ruin the wedding. My wedding was technically over; now all I had to do was sit and look pretty and greet everyone appropriately.

"An impressive dueling pair," Prince Nu commented, from his seat next to me. He was given an honorary seat on my dais. 

"Yes," I said, trying not to seem nervous.

"If there is one thing that could trump the grudge of a dwarf towards an elf, it is the grudge of an elf towards another," Prince Nu said, his bright eyes flashing. I was a little intrigued that he would say that; after all, dwarves were infamous for their grudges and their long, undying memories. I was never on the receiving end, and it wasn't a priority on my bucket list to be on the receiving end.

"I suppose," I agreed. "Too much happened."

"So you know," Prince Nu said, turning to me, seeming shocked. He clearly underestimated me. I had to admit, I didn't really bother to seem like anything more than an airhead to everyone but Maitimo, Brethil, Tamaril, and Loeril. 

"Who doesn't?" I scoffed.

"And you still chose to marry him?" Prince Nu seemed perturbed. I felt my hackles rising, what a rude question.

"I wasn't drunk when I said yes" I said dryly. 

"Do you wish you were drunk now?" Prince Nu asked, settling in his seat again and watching the fight unfold. Both Maitimo and Celeborn were dressed in the most minimal amount of clothing as possible, as was everyone else in the competition except the women; who only wore tighter-fitting garments. The men did not have a shirt on, only shoulder braces strapped across their chests. They wore pants and boots, their hair was tied back. And what fine forms their cut. 

"A little," I found myself admitting. I didn't want to sit through the tension of the animosity and the fight simultaneously. "But I will just watch for the sport, not for the politics."

"Hmm," Prince Nu grunted.

"Are you not participating?"

"Not this day. I hear you have planned three more events such as this," he commented. 

"Yes," I said, agreeing. "I feel like a tie might be unsatisfactory to some pairs. I'd rather they hash it out appropriately than unexpectedly."

"You are more preceptive than you let on," Prince Nu drawled, making a low whistle when Celeborn did some crazy motion with is body, making Maitimo bend violently backwards with his body. It made my stomach flip with worry.

"Yes," I sounded shaken, even to myself. "A little."

"Water?" Prince Nu offered me his wineskin. Aside from the fact that sharing was unsanitary, I also couldn't refuse because my throat was insanely parched. I didn't realize I was this anxious about that particular event. How would it seem if I accepted the wineskin? When he saw my hesitancy, he immediately summoned a garcon; "Two glasses please."

I gave him a grateful smile, mildly touched at his consideration.

"You don't seem to doubt my ability to compete in this," Prince Nu commented. Was he referring to the disadvantage of his height?

"Well, I mean if you fight orcs as well, an elf or a man couldn't be too different," I said diplomatically. "If you use your proportions well, who am I to judge?"

Prince Nu only grunted.

As I predicted; it was a tie until their allotted time was up. 2 more games to go. 

*

The games continued from dawn till midnight; ranging from hand-on-hand combat, sword fighting, lancing, javelin throwing, archery, and other such activities. Times were allotted. I had to sit through all of them. For some reason, the crowd couldn't seem to get enough. Maitimo participated in every single one of them, emerging victorious in several. The crowd was never bored and always cheered. Prince Nu's war commander, whose name I couldn't remember, was an excellent Javelin thrower and was exceptional with a war-hammer. Lord Jorg, from the humans, was an excellent horse-back rider and even unseated Caranthir in one of the earlier rounds. Beleg was an excellent archer and Luthien was fluid in hand-on-hand combat. 

Me? I was a sitting potatoes. The good news is, at Midnight, a whole feast was prepared; several stags were roasted, several barrels of liquor quickly went dry, and there were barely any leftovers. 

I was seated next to Maitimo, sleepy but glad that the night ended well. I scanned the crowd, trying to catch any signs of animosity or soreness. None that I could see, races even mingled.

"How is the puppy?" Maitimo asked me, coming next to me, sitting down, still not changed from his 'battle' gear, like many others who participated, including Princess Luthien and Prince Celeborn. Elves were little affected by the cold, unlike the humans and elves, who chose to don their furs. I could feel the body heat radiating off of him as he sat down pulling me on his lap. "You smell good," he noted, accepting a morsel of chicken that I gave to him. I couldn't feel it in myself to be sore towards him. He was magnificent today. "Clean."

"You stink," I said flatly, feeding him another piece. "Clementine is fine. I saw her today and played with her a little when you were on break."

"Good," Maitimo said. "Wanna go and sleep?"

"Yes," I breathed, grateful he opened up the topic before me. I didn't want to be the one pulling him away from anything. He needed to find the right time to leave. "Oh, yes please."

"You were amazing today," I commented, watching as he ate a few more spoonfuls, ravenously, his eyes still dark from the thrill of his active day. "You were great. I didn't know you could do all of that so well."

"I can do a lot of things well," he said mildly, setting the spoon down and squeezing my flanks with his good hand. I gave him a smile. "Especially admiring my wife; you look beautiful in that dress. Certainly set the tone for the day."

"Can't help it," I sighed. "Being amazing is a full-time job."

Maitimo chuckled, eating some more before getting up, leading me with him to our quarters, bidding goodnight to whoever stood in our way.

*

I sat on the stool, in my bath dress; a sheer, dainty little thing that made me trip all over myself. I wore nothing beneath it, enjoying the way that Maitimo stood, just a few feet away from me, scrubbing himself vigorously, watching me hotly. We were both watching each other in the dim candlelight.

"Thank you for saving the pictures," I finally said. "Thank you so much, my love."

Maitimo said noting, washing the last bit of soap from his hair and stalking towards me, naked. I could see a few bruising marring his body. 

He slowly knelt in front of me, gripping both sides of the stool. I leaned forward, inhaling the wet, clean scent from him. It was so nice to have him with me, close to me.

"Nothing is ever too valuable for you," Maitimo said, gently stroking the ring he had gifted me. "You are my wife, my treasure."

I could feel my chest bloom with warmth. I gently cupped his face, kissing him and then pulling away. "Regrets?"

"Never," Maitimo scoffed, stroking the inside of my thighs, slowly spreading them; "You?"

"Never," I said; gripping the hair on his head as he went down on me.

*

I was gripping is shoulder, my face buried in his hair, mentally praying that Maitimo wouldn't ever stop. He just felt so good. He was so considerate, always making sure to add extra lube whenever it was needed, and always making sure pay considerable attention to the parts of me that could make me come in 3 seconds. He liked that I was a short circuit around him. He liked that he could make me come as many times as he liked. At times it got a little painful, but when he let us both rest for a while, I welcomed him again. 

"Come," he urged me gently, helping me get up from the cold floor of the washroom. He gently took away my bath dress when I made to put it on; "You will not be needing that."

He was right.

"You won't be needing that either," I retorted, snapping the laces of the pants which he had yet to take off. 

"I won't," he noted, a teasing lilt to his voice. "But the floor was cold."

"You fought and played around for sixteen hours straight, shirtless," I pointed out. "This should be nothing to you."

"I don't want to focus on my buttocks freezing while railing my wife," he said, baring his teeth at me, undoing his laces and taking off his pants. 

I rolled my eyes, grabbing his hand and leading him to bed. He gently cupped my ass when I made to climb on the bed, gripping me in place. I looked back, watching his eyes as they glue to where he wanted to be; "Anal isn't my thing," I warned him, even though we experimented around it before.

"We'll make it your thing before long," he assured me. I pouted at him, lifting my other knee to bed before he got any ideas. But he did have other ideas, gripping me by the hips and holding me in place as he slowly slipped inside me from behind, a different position, but no less pleasurable. He gently pushed my head down to the mattress, keeping his stump below my hips to keep them upwards, gently moving inside me. I could only grip the sheets. 

*

We didn't sleep that night. Maitimo took me in several position; against the wall, on the floor, in bed, in a chair, beneath me, above me, behind me...I closed my eyes, moaning at the sensations that the precious memories of last night evoked, squeezing my thighs together hard enough to hurt. 

"Good?" Maitimo asked, his voice thick and raspy. Meow. 

"Hmhm," I said, stretching and rolling over to him. "Yesterday was a nightmare for me," I finally admitted. "I hated to see you getting punched like that."

"I've had worse," Maitimo said. "This was all in good fun."

"I bet," I yawned, climbing over him and settling my head on his chest. "Was it though? The fight between your party and the Doriath party didn't seem too friendly."

"That was inevitable," Maitimo dismissed. "We got it all out in sport, better than getting it out in will."

"I guess," I agreed reluctantly. 

"No need to speak about this," Maitimo finally said, rolling us both over so that he was on top of me again. "Not right now."

"We can't," I hissed, quickly moving away when he took a nipple between his teeth. It felt sore but good--but I couldn't--there was so much more to do. Wasting a morning away was silly."

"Everyone is drunk anyways," Maitimo dismissed, grabbing me by my hips in his customary, bruising force. Even though he meant to be gentle, I found that bruising from him was inevitable, even though I could see he genuinely didn't mean it, and had no malicious intent. I guess he just underestimated my fragility. Not that I was fragile--I was a sturdy, tough person, but I was relatively weak.

"No," I gasped, my legs falling apart by their own volition, accommodating him right where I needed him the most. "Wait--I have to walk Clementine--oh--and--and--a, and make sure there is enough for everyone."

Maitimo was already inside me, slipping inside me with embarrassing ease. In any case, he presented a very valid argument without speaking. I had the feeling that I might suffer for it later. 

Maitimo pressed a final kiss to my lips, pulling away and helping me out of bed. I followed him to the washroom, trying to pretend like my knees weren't shaking, or that I was still getting secondary orgasms.

"I am not going to shower in front of you," I said when I realized his intention as he sat down on the stool, but naked, facing me. "Or else we will never finish! I actually have responsibilities, Maitimo."

"So do I," he shot at me, getting up anyways, wrapping a towel around his hips. "One of these days, I'll build a tub so we can do what we want in peace."

"Time is of essence," I teased him, watching him walk out the bedroom. He sent me a snide look but closed the door anyways. I appreciated that he respected my need for space. If we weren't time-pressed, I would have gladly welcomed the audience. I quickly showered, making sure to get into the places that needed getting into. Now that I was married, I felt like it was safe for me to entertain, faintly, the idea of children. 

I know that elves in general didn't conceive during times of war. It was a stupid notion. Children were needed in times of war--they were a positive hope, something to fight for. I understood the risk for the child's safety--but I had a time limit. I was almost 25 now. I wanted to have my own baby, someone I could teach my language to and speak with freely. Someone to keep me company and soak up my love and attention when Maitimo was off on Patrols and Princely duties.

I would like my baby to look like Maitimo; I finally decided. I wanted my baby to have nothing from me but milk. Maitimo was perfect; tall, beautiful, and intelligent. Of course I could see that there was no real way that would ever happen since I had insanely dominant genes for having dark hair, dark skin, and brown eyes. Besides, from what I could see, Maitimo is the one off recessive gene in his family; in his entire race. No one else had red hair. 

"Finished?" Maitimo asked gently, emerging from the shower room. I had come out and begun drying off and dressing up, waiting for Maitimo to finish. He came just as I began applying my make up.

"Almost," I said. Straightening out and turning to Maitimo; "Maitimo."

"Maedhros here, my love," he reminded me, leaning down and quickly nipping my lip. 

"Sorry," I muttered, turning to him. "Can we have children?"

Maitimo froze--turning to me and eyeing my wearily. "You know why we can't. Not now."

"Then when? After the war that you have been fighting for nearly a thousand years?" I asked him skeptically. "I won't live that long. I'll live to be a hundred years at the very least, Maitimo. I want babies."

Maitimo watched me, grim-faced, jaw set. I guess talking about babies ruined a nice morning. "We'll talk about this later, Priscilla. This conversation needs more time than we can afford right now."

He was right. "Something to think about," I implored him, not willing to give up. It was a stray thought, but I found that I didn't mind it.

"I'll think about it," he promised, cupping my face and kissing my lips. "For now, let's get this day over with."

Did he even want children? He had previously hinted about desiring children, but being unable to since everything that happened. I guess I'll find out his perspective tonight, when we have time. 


	21. Chapter 21

The conversation about babies never happened again for the duration of the month that was my wedding. I was a little disappointed but I didn't rehash. I could already foresee that it would place some tension between us and I didn't want to ruin the wedding for anyone else who was preceptive enough to notice. So I patiently stashed it at the back of my mind.

I was standing in front of a tall, striking woman--Artanis, sister to Finrod. Her hair was the most noticeable feature of her.

And she was gorgeous.

"Hello, Princess," I greeted her, as warmly as I could. I had seen her being openly hostile to some of Maitimo's brothers, even Maitimo himself on one occasion. She was clearly young in comparison to her cousins. And headstrong. Nothing wrong with that. But I really wished she would save her hostility for after. It was starting to strain my diplomatic efforts. Especially since she was also rude to the Avari and the Doriath party. She was mean to everyone save for her brothers and those of her party.

"Princess Priscilla," she greeted me shortly. What a damper. I was already anticipating a strained conversations. But she already arrested any efforts with that tone.

"Is there something not to your liking?" I asked her, trying to sound as unconfrontational as possible. I was already in her radar. No need to irk her more. But I was genuinely trying to get a feel of her. I could see that underneath her nutshell exterior, was a more amiable and easy-going person. I mean, to be so rude and nasty, as a full time job, was extremely exhausting to think about.

Artanis scoffed. I blinked, a little intimidated now. It was the scoff of a person who knew that the other person was spewing bullshit. But I didn't spew bullshit, yet.

"Is there a reason why you married him?" she asked me, saying him like it was a crime. Maitimo, obviously. There seemed to be a lot of people with a lot of issues with Maitimo and his family. Specifically Maitimo, since he was seen as responsible for the actions of his brothers. But really, his brothers were unpredictable and answered to no one.

"I assume there is no love lost between you guys," I said, a little sarcastically. I was getting a little annoyed with these questions and assumptions. I am a grown woman, I entered to this marriage head on after finding out everything that Maitimo did. It wasn't worth it to be separated from him. "I married him for the money," I finally said. No point in trying to be sappy and prove my love. I didn't have to prove anything to anyone, least of all Artanis, who was always so frosty.

Artanis raised her eyebrows. "My name is Galadriel here, not Artanis."

I didn't ask, but alright. "Galadriel then," I said. I suppose I should really break my habit of using the names that Maitimo gives them; I was too used to their Quenyan names; but that was illegal.

"Your story is difficult to piece together," Galadriel frowned. "Normally my powers would enable me to uncover the truth. But for the life of me, I cannot seem to do so with Maedhros, Fingon, Finrod, and you. It is as if a veil has fallen over a part of your memories."

I gave her a weirded look; "You can read minds?"

Galadriel gave me a frosty, unimpressed look; "The proper term is Telepathy, but yes. That is the general idea."

"Oh, well," I cleared my throat, still freaked out at that. So she heard me talking shit about her? Damn, no wonder she was so mean. She could hear everyone talking shit. Still, I refused to be embarrassed. My thoughts were my own. I don't translate them into actions; besides, what an invasion of privacy. "I am not really hiding anything."

"I can tell," she said dryly. "'Invasion of privacy'..."

It was my turn to shoot her a sour look. "Is there a way to...turn off your telepathy? I really don't appreciate that." 

She seemed a little stunned; as though she did not expect someone to call her out on her own audacity. "I don't actively choose to read your mind, Princess," she said stiffly. "You think too loud."

"Should I whisper then?" I was unimpressed.

She said nothing. "I will try, then," she said.

"Thanks, appreciate it," I was still uncomfortable around her. "You are asking me why I married Maedhros because you think he is unworthy of love?"

That is the only reason why people would ask me why I married Maitimo, as opposed to the other way around. It just sounded a little more socially reasonable for the man to be asked that question; _Why did you marry a lumpy human? Why did you marry her if you know she won't live forever?_

These questions were easier to ask than; _Why did you marry this monster?_

"I think he is an unredeemable, him and all his kin," she said coldly and I blinked at her slowly. 

"Aren't you his kin?" I asked her slowly. "There are some things, as I understand it, that you did as well."

"I was blind sighted by their heinousness."

"They are not responsible for your actions," I said coldly. "Maedhros is not responsible for your actions. He is responsible for his actions and his alone. He does not blame anyone else--not even his father, whom he has every right to blame. It sounds to me like you can't handle the consequences of your own actions."

"If you were there that day," Galadriel began meanly, "You would not speak such nonsense."

"You are right," I finally demurred. "I wasn't there that day. But I heard the same story from different groups--from Fingon and Finrod too. Maedhros was honest in his account, unbiased. He deserves to be called a monster. But he doesn't deserve the blame for your own actions, Princess," I sneered. I was a little perturbed by her apparent lack of accountability. I guess it was just easier to blame everything on the person who did the worst, even though, by no means, did Maitimo actually commit the most heinous of offenses compared to his father and brothers. 

"If you blame everyone for your own actions, maybe you are the irredeemable one," I hit my mark. My words were meant to hurt. I found that given the knowledge that I had, which was only a fraction of hers, I was able to twist the knife with my words in a different manner. Being an educated and curious woman had its perks. It was mildly satisfying to see the array of emotions cross her face. The shock, the shame, and the disgruntlement. I suppose no one has ever spoken to her in such a way. I wasn't raised around royalty. Nor was I ever subservient to royalty. The most senior person to me in my life were either my adult family members, my professors, or my managers. Even then, I never lied to them, and I was always law abiding. Sure being bluntly honest got me in trouble sometimes. But it paid off in the end. It was clear that she was always the most senior person in her little bubble, so no one ever told her that the way she was thinking was wrong, or the way that she felt she had the right to other people's personal thoughts was wrong. 

That really irked me. At least someone is telling her now, rather than later, when it might be more consequential.

"I better go," I finally said, turning around and pausing. Standing, far away, far enough to not hear the conversation, was Prince Celeborn, who was staring, shamelessly, at the two of us. But I highly doubt I was the one he was looking at. I caught his gaze on Galadriel a few times but they never spoke. I guess he was wondering why she looked ready to chew me out. "Maybe you should talk to that prince, he is pretty interested in you." This I added as an after thought. 

Galadriel said nothing.

*

"I saw you speaking with Galadriel," Maitimo noted when we were alone. I rolled my eyes. Of course he did. She decided to be a bitch in broad day light.

"And what of it?" I asked him testily, playing with Clementine using a little carrot-toy that I stitched together haphazardly.

"I heard what you said," Maitimo finally said. I felt him tug at my braid. 

"I didn't see you around," I said, trying to remember who was around that day to have heard. Beside the Prince and a few humans, who were out of range, there was not anyone else. 

"I wasn't in your line of sight," Maitimo said. 

"Well I am sorry you had to hear any of that," I finally said. I can explicitly remember telling Galadriel that I married Maitimo for the money, in a sarcastic manner to her rude question. Cringe. Of course Maitimo knew me better than that. "She was rude."

"She is not wrong," he said quietly.

"Maitimo," I sighed, a little frustrated now. "We are already past that stage. I already decided to accept you for who you are. We went through a whole ordeal just for that, if you remember."

"How can I forget?" he scoffed bitterly. 

I closed my eyes, trying to be more understanding. I really shouldn't shut him down like that. If he had something he needed to say to ease his guilty conscience, I should let him say it. 

"Talk to me, then," I finally said. "What is wrong?"

"Noting, per se," he told me, fluidly moving up to his feet and helping me up. Clementine followed behind us curiously. "I am just disturbed by how easily you became mine."

"It wasn't that easy," I was mildly offended that he even said I was easy.

"I was expecting to never see you again," Maitimo admitted.

Oh, well I suppose in comparison to that, I was easy. Not so offended anymore. 

"So I gave you a bit of a hard time," I asked him, feeling a little guilty about that. I hated that I was the one who decided to break things off. I made a hypocrite out of myself.

"Less than what I deserved, but I am too selfish to let go of you," Maitimo said, sounding very disappointed, probably in himself. He was such a tortured anti-hero. Jane Austen would have loved him.

"I never asked you to," I said, trying not to feel too flattered. I was trying to have a serious heart-to-heart with him. "I like being with you."

He said nothing else, instead, leading me further until we reached our bedroom. Before he entered, he gently scooped Clementine, gently placing the puppy in her designated little house that he had commissioned for her. She was already so sleepy. We waited a few moments to let her sleep before heading on into our own rooms. 

I turned around, quickly perching myself on the bed. I was ready to set the mood. I was already in a mood. As though sensing me, Maitimo's eyes focused on me, unblinking. I don't think he realized it, but sometimes, probably unintentionally, he made me feel like a prey. His face is usually expressionless, and in the dark, with the shadows contouring is face into a skull, with his horrific facial scars, he was a foreboding figure. It didn't help that his eyes were either really bright green or really dark, all-encompassing black. And the man never blinked. In my world he used to blink, but not as much as normal people did. But now, when he is among his people, especially since he is among his people, he didn't blink. Like, at all. Neither him nor his people blinked. I think they blinked sometimes, intentionally, to refresh their eyes, but it wasn't a subconscious physiological reflex. 

Now, when his face was so carefully blank, with the shadows contouring his intimidatingly face, his scars gleaming silver, and is eyes pitch black, I felt my heart pounding. It was fear. It wasn't the first time my body did that around Maitimo. It was usually right before he fucked me. I slowly got off the bed.

"Are you aware of me right now?" I whispered, slightly apprehensive of raising my voice anymore than a whisper. He heard me from all the way across our spacious quarters. 

"Of your heart pounding?" he asked me, just as softly. His voice sounded dangerous, to the untrained ear. But Maitimo's way of being soft was unconventional.

"Maybe?" I was unsure of myself, already unlacing my dress. I was certainly sure of what I wanted. 

"Or of the gooseflesh on your back?" I almost missed that part. 

"Of how I am feeling right now?" I suggested.

"I am always mindful of you," Maitimo finally said. "Everything you say or do forces my senses to be in-tune with you. I know the fear you feel. I know the anticipation that you feel."

I felt the need to explain myself; "It's not fear that I feel, really--well I guess it is. But if you could see yourself from my perspective, you would be a little intimidated too."

His expression never deviated from it's blank stoniness. I could feel he was waiting on me to elaborate.

"Your eyes," I continued, slowly walking towards him. He was gently undoing the buttons on his own tunic till it was open. He cut a very fine figure. "They are just so dynamic. You just have a very...discouraging look about, I suppose. It's what made me so unsure of you in the beginning. You didn't have a very friendly disposition."

I gently unshouldered my dress so that I was left in my corset. I stopped in front of him, watching his expression more clearly. The black in his eyes was now leaking on his face a little. It was funny but I never saw him like this in public, even in the most pressing times. Maitimo's eyes were always solid green, no less bright than the average elf around him. But with me, or in times of severe, menacing threat, he was just so...expressive. I still didn't know if black eyes and really bright green eyes meant the same thing, or meant totally different things. 

"What does it mean when your eyes are black like this?" I asked him softly, raising my hands and gently stroking his cheekbones. He didn't flinch or blink, still staring at me. 

"I don't know," he whispered, taking my hands and kissing it. He gently turned me, untying the laces on my corset. "My eyes become like this very rarely--in times of battle, or in times of severe pressure--but with you, I am helpless to understand myself."

He undid my corset, gently setting it aside, one large hand coming forward to cup my breast from above my little smock, his hook coming to rest on my hips. I could feel him pressing his lips to the back of my head and I leaned back against him, loving the way that his touch made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

"You know," I began, watching the snow fall lightly. We've had sunny days so far, with light, snowy nights, as was the norm. "You also make me feel crazy things."

"We can't both be crazy," Maitimo began leading me to sit on the chair. "One of us has to keep up the reputation of a sane, royal family."

"Weren't you the one doing a good job at it?" I teased him, sitting and turning on his lap, adjusting myself so that my knees were on either side of his hips.

Maitimo scoffed disdainfully, his expression morphing into one of derision. Getting somewhere. "I was doing a poor job, not for the lack of trying. My brothers tend to misunderstand the extent of their actions."

"Nice to know," I said, tracing patterns on his chest before kissing the spot right beneath his Adam's apple. "Let's fuck, before we have to get up again."

"No request was easier to accept," Maitimo said, helping me take off my smock.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: So guys I updated this chapter twice before, please read the second part of the chapter; it's spicy as fuck. Anyways; Chapters 2 and 18 have new photos if you wanna check those out at the beginning of each of the chapters. Thanks for the wait; comment, bookmark, and kudos! Cheers!**

The end of the wedding was coming closer. So was the end of our stores, funnily enough. By then, there were many reports of drunken behavior all over the city and thankfully, no fights broke out. Since the fighting was a much enjoyed part of the wedding, I had to try and fit more sparring events in the already tight schedule, even going as far as to substitute it. They never seemed to get enough of it. And Maitimo participated in every single one of them. I was a little annoyed by that. He was a good fighter, for sure. But so was literally every other opponent that he faced down with. So he ended up with is fair share of evidence to show that he did participate in every single event. 

I was annoyed because I hated to see him get hurt, and I hated it even more that everyone, including Maitimo, seemed unconcerned with that. I also had to admit that I was a product of my time. They didn't have social media to keep them entertained; they didn't have movies, modern technologies, and accessible, modern resources to get them protected. They were bored. To them this was entertainment. I wasn't bored. No I was too busy worrying over the guests and Maitimo. He was formidable, so I also worried for his opponents. The only other people, besides Maitimo, who participated in all the events were Celegorm and Beleg. They had an unquenchable appetite for these things.

And they had an unquenchable appetite for hunting. Often times, 'raiding' parties would be dispatched. Many of the guests; elves, dwarves, and humans, would go out on their preferred modes of transportation (horses, rams, bears, and large cats), after a planned hunting trip, with their hunting companions (hounds, wolves, eagles, etc...) and hunt down game and orc steeds for the fur. One thing was for certain. Wargs and orcs made good sport. They also had excellent, thick fleeces that provided amazing warmth, once they were thoroughly and properly cleaned. It was good sport, even though the hunters themselves were hunted just as well. It was extremely dangerous and lengthy affair that would often take a whole day, if not 2, to hunt. 

So far, no one died. 

Good, I would hate for people to die in an event that was meant to celebrate a marriage. I would shit on their funeral. 

I suppose it was fair since they were already such a large raiding party. I was glad for the competition, it took away some of the pressure on our meat stores. It was late at night. I was nearly falling asleep, Clementine sleeping next to me on the bed. It was Maitimo's pet peeve. He hated it when I allowed Clementine on the bed with us. He usually set her down, giving me a stern look because he had to suffer through her heartbroken, puppy eyes. But he wasn't here. Clementine was. So she got the honorary seat. 

I don't know why I was staying awake for so long. Normally I would be on my phone to fall asleep. Alas I did not have the luxury. Still, I was hyperactive at the moment. And frustrated. In the entire time we have been married, Maitimo and I had sex only five times. I was really put out by that. I liked having sex with Maitimo. I liked when he was being rough with me, and how well he soothed me afterwards. He was so considerate to my needs, even though he liked to drag it on quiet a bit when he had all the time in the world. But I was certain that after the end of the wedding, he would be pressed for time and energy. 

I heard stories about some of my friends and co-workers not being able to get it off with their sexual partners. Sometimes, their partners didn't let them have sex toys, for whatever reason. I suppose because it's de-masculating to find that a dildo can get your partner off better than you can. I don't know why they felt the need to shoulder such responsibility. Not everyone gets off and that is fine. Just the idea of their partner participating and helping them get off, not with the use of their body, was an enticing enough thought to get off to. Even porn showed that much. I just felt deep pity for these women. They didn't even try to communicate with their partners. 

I was speaking too much though. I never used any sex toys with Maitimo. But we did the act often enough--not just penetration. I came every time with him. He made sure I came every single time. I never once went to sleep before I came in the act. He wouldn't ever allow it. If my body was being particularly resistant, he would draw out my orgasm almost painfully. His mouth, his hands, any sort of position--anything, he would use it. And he would come too. I was kind of glad we had such a relationship. I realize that I was luckier than most to have such a man in my husband. We were never friends. We were the classic enemies-to-lovers scene. Except, less conventional. He literally threatened my life in the beginning and even to this day, I wouldn't doubt that he would have gone through with his words if I exposed him and his family. 

Usually with the enemies-to-lovers scene, there was a gradual and imminent build up. But with both of us it was one moment of passion that crumbled our walls and forced us to take pleasure from one another. I was even willing for it to be a casual thing, despite my own sentiment. I was willing to be used by him if it meant to have him with me by my side. But I never had to make such a decision. He never gave me the chance. One moment I was ready to claw his face out, and the next, I was on my back, with his fingers driving me to heights of unfamiliar pleasure.

Just the memory of our first time together made me blush. He was such a cowboy for that. I giggled to myself, turning on my back, feeling like a silly girl. I drew my knees up to my chest, just enjoying the memories that made me blush. Ugh, I was such a hussy for that. But I was shamelessly unrepentant--

"Something funny?" I nearly fell off the bed in shock. Maitimo was entering his bedroom through the balcony. 

"There is a perfectly good door that you could have used," I pointed out, my heart still pounding. I got scared. I thought it was a random person entering my room. It had made my blood run cold and it took me too many seconds too long to realize that it was Maitimo. "Don't use the window, its scary." It reminded me of Andrew. It was a totally irrelevant memory. Andrew had knocked on the front door. But I ad assumed it was someone else...Just--ugh. I am still so traumatized. 

"Next time then," Maitimo said, already doffing his clothes and neatly setting them away. I wrinkled my nose. He smelled like leather, steel, and sweat. 

"When did you get back?" I didn't hear trumpets blasting or anything. 

"Just a while ago," Maitimo informed me, dropping the cloth that was covering his groin. Jesus but he was big. I dragged my eyes to meet his. In the dark, I could see the faint shadow of a smirk on his face. He still had a string curled tightly around is biceps, probably leather, but it looked ready to pop from his muscles at any moment. "What were you laughing at?"

"I'll tell you once you finish showering," I yawned, blinking at him. I was feeling really energized. 

"Want to help me?" he asked me, smirking slightly. He was perfectly capable of doing it himself. Was I going to pass up an opportunity to touch him? No.

"Are you willing to have a woman touch you all over?" I teased.

"So long as she does it right," he said airily, disappearing into the powder room. I got up, quickly taking off my gown and discarding it haphazardly to follow him. I was going to get wet and I was not going to regret it. I followed him, closing the door softly, trying to look as unperverted as possible. I didn't like graceless, inelegant foreplay. But I did like toxic-relationship sex, with all the healthy sentiment. 

Alas, I caved in to my true, perverted nature. He was standing underneath the rain shower. I quickly soaped up the loofa and scrubbed his body clean before sensually letting my hands do the work instead of the loofa. Yes, I liked that. His skin was fascinating to me. It was like toughing fabric that was stretched taut over steel; hard and unyielding. 

"How is everything going?" I asked him gently when he finally came.

"Better with you," he groaned, his head angled upwards. I couldn't see his face but I could see that he was breathing really heavily. In the firelight, he looked atrociously magnificent. He looked down at me again, giving me a tense look before wrapping his hand around my bicep, bringing me closer under the rain shower, gently washing away the evidence of his good feelings from my stomach. I let him, watching, a little transfixed, by how big is hand was on my stomach. It spanned the entire width of me. I could see a few silver scarring. Then his hand drifted lower. 

I stopped his hand, a little embarrassed. "Wait, I--I need to pee."

He laughed, giving me a quick smack on the bum; "Well don't let me stop you."

"Go out," I pointed at the door, giving him a shy, apologetic look. "I won't pee with you around."

He gave me an incredulous look; "You can't be serious."

I gave him my most serious look. He gave me a stern look. "You squirt all over me every night, what is wrong with--"

"NO!" I yelped, shoving him out, horribly embarrassed. It wasn't my fault I was like that. Oooh, I was so mad. Ooooh. "Eww--Maitimo!" 

I was terribly, horribly embarrassed. So much so it took me a solid 15 minutes to talk myself into peeing. I was just so mortified. Why couldn't I orgasm normally like literally anyone else? Yea I know squirting is a thing. But still. Ew. Now I was insecure about myself. 

Once I was finished, I cleaned myself and washed my hands, wrapping my bathrobe around myself. Maitimo was sitting at my dresser, only a towel wrapped around his waist, clipping his toe nails--wow. So domesticated of him. I have seen him do that before. It was a socking sight to see every single time. I don't know what I was expecting from a warlord/prince. Someone clipping his nails for him? Maybe. 

"Cut my nails for me?" he asked me, holding out the clippers. I nodded my head, gently down next to him and clipping his nails. They weren't too long. Maitimo liked them short enough so that they didn't need to be maintained, but not short enough that it looked like he nibbled on them. Just neat and uniform.

"Thank you," Maitimo said, gathering the little nail bits and putting them in the waste container. I quickly got up; "I'm going to bed!" I announced loudly. Then I gave him my meanest look without it being a glare. "To sleep."

His jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."

"I am absolutely serious," I said sternly, slapping his hands away when they made a beeline for my robe. "I wouldn't want to squirt all over you. In fact, I'll sleep with Clementine so that I don't wet the bed with you in it."

I was feeling vindictive; in the form of insecurity. I quickly shrugged off my bathrobe and put on a long-sleeved nightgown before making a beeline to the door. I was nervous now. I wanted him to stop me. I wanted him to console me or try to understand why I was feeling like this. I don't know why I was like this. It was just a stupid comment. I was never self-conscious about the way I orgasmed before. So why now? Ugh.

Before I could grab the handle, I felt Maitimo's hand snag my hair at the back of my head, roughly pulling me to face him. I cried out; half in pain and half in shock. He never 'handled' me like that before. His eyes were flashing and his jaw was ticking. 

"You will get on that bed and I will make you squirt all over the fucking room before you step foot outside, do you understand?" He was so close to me, our noses touched. His voice was so low, that a decibel lower and I would not have heard him. But I did hear him and I found myself annoyed.

"Don't talk to me that way," I snapped, pushing him away. Or trying to. He held on tighter to my hair. Not enough to hurt anymore, just enough to keep me from moving unless I wanted a bald spot. 

"Don't act petty," he snarled, softly, in my ear, giving it a hard, painful nip before releasing my hair. In one swift move, too quick for me to precept, I was thrown over his shoulder.

"Put me down, you giant oaf!" I snarled, slapping his bum, removing the towel to try and trip him with it. He jostled me before throwing me on the bed. I half expected the bed to break. The way I gasped when he threw me was proof of that. I was a little discombobulated as I looked at the bed--no, it wasn't broken. 

"Maitimo," I snarled, lifting my hand to slap him. I was incensed. Why would he treat me like this? Before I could, he hand grabbed my other arm, twisting it above my head and pinning it down with my other hand using his metal hand; a surprisingly preceptive device that was. Then he yanked my night gown above my hips, violently pulling it over my head, nearly tearing it from my weight on it. 

"If you screw me up, I will emasculate you, prince," I hissed at him, feeling excited butterflies flutter in my stomach. He said nothing, glaring at me through hooded eyes. He had tied my hands with my own night gown, single handedly. He got off the bed, one hand holding both my wrists through the bundled night gown, dragging me, naked, up the bed and hooking the night gown on one of the spades on the bed's headboard. 

Why am I noticing the spades on the headboard just now?

"Don't leave me like this!" I was panicked. I didn't have the core strength to try and lift myself enough to get my arms over the spade without seriously injuring myself. And Maitimo had gotten out of bed and was walking away. "If you take one step out of this door I am going to--"

Maitimo picked up--chains? I stared at the chain that he carried back. It was a really fine, thin double chain--a collar and rings on both ends--was that for my nipple piercings? Gold? 

"Maitimo--" I was kind of touched that he went through on his promise. Gold, no less. But I still wanted to stay mad. "Did you commission this? Who else knows that I have nipple peircings?"

Maitimo gave me a bland look; "I do have some talent, you know. I made it myself."

I gave him a haughty look, even though that was really hard when I was tied up and naked. I folded my knees together, bringing them up to my chest. "You won't put them on me now, will you?" I was a little mortified that he chose this moment.

"I was going to do this after our wedding so that you can scream all you want. But after acting up today, I think it will be better when you are trying to keep yourself quiet."

"Fucking devil," I hissed, resisting when he tugged my knees down. 

"I am being nice by not tying up your legs," he warned me.

"Should I thank you?" I sneered. He didn't respond, but I forced my legs to relax as he climbed over them.

"I don't want to hurt you so don't move," he warned me. 

I was already sensitive in my nipples because of the room chill. So any sensation on my breasts, currently while I was half-aroused and half-fuming with rage, was awkward and unwelcome, I daresay. But I didn't want anything scraping on them so I forced myself to relax. 

Surely enough, Maitimo transitioned the piercings seamlessly, I didn't even feel a thing except for his breath on my breasts, so soft but still there, and so warm, in contrast to the cool flesh of my breasts. I stared, determinately at the ceiling above. I didn't want to be moved by the sight of Maitimo bent over me. He annoyed me so much today. I didn't see what he was doing but soon, he released lower body weight from my legs and got off them.

"Ass," I muttered, under my breath. Before I could say anything else, something cool clasped around my neck and clicked-- I looked down, panicked, he just put a choker on me, one that was attached to the chains from my nipple peircings. He was creative, I'll give him that.

"A choker? Seriously?" I glared at him, trying to rip my wrists from my stupid nightgown.

"Don't bother," Maitimo said, manipulating me so that my legs were helplessly on either side of my body. "The harder you struggle, the tighter it gets."

"I can feel it," I snapped gloomily, still struggling. I was going to cut off the circulation from my wrists at this rate. I was hoping he would take them off before I could. But it wasn't happening any time soon. "What now, you ass?" I hissed.

"Call me ass again and I will take you over my knee like a toddler," he sneered at me, absolutely serious. "I've always been curious to see your ass red and swollen from a good spanking."

"You'd like that, won't you?" I sneered derisively. "Touch me like that and I make a eunuch out of you."

"You might like it," Maitimo said, giving me a cruel smirk. "After all, it is a kink."

"I have low pain tolerance," I informed him when his hand made a path for my hips. No way was I ever going to get spanked, whether for pleasure or for punishment. I was never spanked in my life. My parents didn't care enough to discipline me like that, I was always a model student even if I was on the duller side, and I was never into such masochism. I wasn't going to start today.

"Hmm," he hummed non-committally. His fingers worked their way into me, gently but mercilessly. I arched my back, in shock at the intrusion. "At any point, that is not my goal tonight. My goal is to make you make you squirt all the sense out of you. I'll make sure you won't be able to say my name."

I glared at him, biting back a moan. My legs were already shaking against his sides in anticipation. "Maitimo, I'm still upset--"

"Why?" He asked me, his eyes flashing now. "Tell me."

"Don't gaslight me," I scowled. "You know it's silly, but it still hurt."

"There is no shame in having you squirt all over me," Maitimo snarled. "And everyone pisses and shits. You are my wife, the woman who I love. I can watch you piss all day long and I would still love you. I don't understand your embarrassment."

"Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't there," I snapped, trying to regulate my breathing because his fingers _were not stopping_. 

"I'll be more considerate next time," he promised me. His eyes leaving my face for the first time since our conversation. They trailed to my breasts. I can imagine what a sight they were, with the golden chains that he personally created himself. 

"Thanks," I gasped, finally reaching my breaking point, my mind at ease that we got this stupid fight out of the way. 

"If only you could see yourself the way I see you," Maitimo finally said in Sindarin. Then he said another phrase in his language. Whatever it was, it sounded sexy and it made me flush. 

"What does that mean?" I asked him when he gently tugged on the chain in the middle, the one connecting the 2 peircings.

"Oh," My legs jerked in shock at the feel of the chain tugging at my nipples. That felt really fucking good. From what I could feel. it was a choker, with two chains, one on each end of the choker, each chain attached on the outer side of my breast to my nipple rings. My nipple rings were therefore linked my a longer chain to each other that was settled on my stomach. He had such wickedly erotic ideas. But I could imagine they would have looked better on someone else, really. 

"It is a mantra of thanks to the stars and skies for my blessings," Maitimo murmured. 

I flushed even more. "Oh Maitimo, you are so sweet to me."

"You deserve nothing less," he murmured. "I am sorry for being so insensitive."

"I forgive you," I grinned at him lazily. "I am sorry for calling you an ass and threatening to emasculate you."

"I forgive you," he teased.

"Now can you untie me?" I pouted and he smirked. 

"No," he murmured, bending down at taking a nipple in his mouth, giving it a hard bite. I moaned, he was being insufferable with all the attention he was paying to my breasts. "I like you that way; let's me do all the things I dream of doing to you without you smacking me over the head."

"Maitimo," I whined. "I won't smack you, I promise."

"No," Maitimo shook his head. "That is final. Just sit back and enjoy."

And oh boy I did. 

*

I was blind-folded. 

So I felt everything ten times as intensely as I should have. Eventually I got a little too loud so Maitimo had stuffed a piece of fabric in my mouth and I was loathe to spit it out because it kept me from biting my tongue. So I was breathing in really deep through my nose. The smell of soap and sex had long saturated the air but it seemed to get stronger every single time. 

Maitimo was doing really bad things to me.

The type of things that made my toes curl and my knees go back together. But alas that wasn't possible. He was between my knees, his hot length was almost painful to endure. And now my clit was overused--over worked. But still, it wouldn't stop working. I needed him to stop. I was going to die if he didn't. I wasn't getting desensitized any time soon and he wasn't planning on stopping. I didn't find the courage to spit the piece of cloth out of my mouth to beg him to stop, or at least let me rest. My hands were still tied, so my shoulder muscles were acing now. But Maitimo had considerately, half-way through, tucked a sold pillow beneath my shoulder to help me anchor myself. 

My face was wet--did my tears already soak through the blindfold? Damn. 

Maitimo yanked the piece of cloth from my mouth; "Something to say?"

Stop! No more! I'll let you watch me pee next time! I promise! But I could only get out one word: "Water," my voice sounded worn and raspy. But it jolted me to my senses because it sounded sensual. On any given day, it sounded like something that a seductress would use. Maitimo didn't say anything. But I felt him move a little and then a hot tongue gently laved over my clit, making me cry out at the sensation. It felt awfully good, and just so, it felt awfully raw. 

"Dear Vala, but you are so sexy," he murmured and I felt him get off the bed. I heard movement around the room, water being poured. I felt disturbance in the wind, close to me. He was already here, next to me. He gently untied me wrists from the spade of the bed headboard and gently helped me sit up, massaging my shoulders and pulling me over his lap. I could feel a wet patch where my hips were. Aghh, seriously. It certainly wasn't pee. But it was soaked as if I pissed three gallons of water. 

He was just cruel for this. A towel couldn't have saved that mattress. I made to remove my blindfold but Maitimo stopped me. "Stay like this, I'm not finished with you yet."

I pouted, accepting the glass of water. I tried to drink it slowly so that I wouldn't choke. Being near Maitimo was already a safety hazard because I could already feel his member poking my entrance. The devil, he had me on his lap so that both of my knees were on either side of his hips. One flex of his hips and he would be a head's worth inside me. 

I was not ready.

"Wait till I am finished," I begged him after a couple of sips. 

"Some more?" he offered when my glass came to a disappointing end. I nodded eagerly, wishing I could see him. I suppose having my front pressed to his front sort of compensated for the lack of vision. I had no energy to fight against a blindfold. He refilled the glass and handed it to me, returning his hand to grip my butt cheek, squeezing and kneading. His other metal hand was resting on my knee, gently massaging my patella. The cool metal against my inflamed knee was amazing. 

"Still sore there?" He asked me, gently tapping my knee. I had began experiencing some knee pains recently wen I was up on a ladder. I had bent my knee the wrong way. It was inflamed and I tried to rest my knee and put some ice/anti-inflammatory ointments on it. Nothing worked better than NSAIDs and a knee-protector but those were not available in this world.

"A little," I was able to catch my breath better now. The choker felt too tight at the moment. I felt like my neck was swollen, which in reality, that would have been life-threatening. But I was presumably just irritated there. "Can I take off the choker at least? It feels a bit tight."

He pressed a soft kiss to my lips before doing exactly what asked, gently rubbing the skin there soothingly. He undid the two side-chains of my nipple peircings, leaving the connecting one still on. I heard him set the contraption aside. "I like it, but only for really special occasions, next time."

"Every moment with you is special," Maitimo murmured, this time gently moving his hips so that he was _slowly_ entering me. It was so slow and gently I couldn't even bother to tense up. Because soon it felt really good. 

"You are so cheesy," I huffed, a hesitant smile on my face. Slowly, Maitimo undid my blindfold. It was as if someone had flashed 1000000 watts of light in my eyes. Everything was brighter; the firelight was bright, Maitimo's green eyes were extraordinarily bright, and it was as if a halo was surrounding us. 

A fucking halo. Was I in heaven? Was I dreaming.

"Am I high?" I whispered, awed. Combined with his more-than-welcome penetration, the lights in my eyes were sensational.

"Just adjusting," Maitimo assured me, giving me a brilliant smile--whelp, there goes my common fucking sense. "The look on your face--if only I had a camera with me. Tis' worth a thousand splendid suns."

"Don't make me blush," I giggled shyly, actually blushing. Ughh, I was being a silly romantic. But Maitimo was just good at bringing out that side of me.

"I would put you in a fucking sauna if I can get you to blush like this every fucking day," Maitimo informed me seriously.

"I can't tell if you are joking," I gave him my best cynically look that I could give under the duress of having him move his cock in and out of me so fucking good. 

Maitimo grunted, adjusting me so that he was laying flat on his back, watching me from above. "It is a more pleasant alternative."

I thought about it; true. But some of his more serious sentences were often threatening, even if he meant them in the best way possible. "I am noticing you are not refuting the implication of humorous deceit."

"I don't say things thoughtlessly," Maitimo said seriously, lifting his hips, and me with it, impaling himself impossibly deep. I cried out, throwing my head back; shock? Pain? Pleasure? I will never know. Affairs with Maitimo often made these terms ambiguous or synonymous with one another. "Now shut up and ride me."

Usually, I was nobody's bitch but my own. I was tough. Sure I was physically weak. But mentally, I could challenge anyone anytime. I wasn't afraid. I answered to no man and I established my place in the world thoroughly and irrefutably. But when Maitimo commanded me like that; especially in that tone, using that command, that I couldn't for the life of me refuse or even _want_ to refuse, I reverted back to the 1950's, stereotypical woman. A bitch to her man. 

I obeyed.

Not a single, independent thought in this head. Noooo. 

Do not think about what you can do for misogyny. Think about what misogyny can do for you. And what solid advice this is.

The chain that was holding my two nipple piercings together was beating against my diaphragm from my movements. The weight of the chain, no matter how light it was, pulling from the momentum of my bounce was creating delicious pressure against my nipples. When I looked down, Maitimo was staring at me, unblinking, his eyes blanketing every inch of me reverently.

"Just like that," he crooned, gripping my hip, painfully, with his metal hand, the other hand holding mine, weaving my fingers through his, as though to help anchor me in my movements. 

Not so soon after, we both came, together. And boy did he come, hot and plentiful inside me. I collapsed on his chest, his cock still buried inside me. I could feel some fluid leaking out. "That was amazing, Maitimo, mi amore."

He said nothing. I fell asleep.

I woke up shortly after to a cool rag against my center. I had finally cooled down a little. Maitimo was cleaning me. The fire was now a little weaker, and the room was a little cooler. I was completely naked. Maitimo was cleaning me with a rag. He then proceeded to clean my limbs and center with the rag, paying particularly close attention to my breasts, which had since started to feel extremely sensitive after coming down from my insane high that dragged on for fucking hours. Maitimo could go on for hours. I bet any other elf could too. They were just built different.

"Maitimo," I murmured, a little discombobulated. "What time is it?"

"It will be time to see off our guests in a few hours," Maitimo informed me. "Go back to sleep."

"Sleep with me?"

"I'll get us cleaned first," he informed me, leaning forward and kissing me on the lips, long and slow, enough to make my belly flutter like crazy. "I'll put some ointment on your wrists. You tugged too much."

"Not my fault," I yawned, unrepentant. 

"You never listen to whatever I tell you," he sighed, a little dramatically. Sure enough, he pressed some herbal-scented ointment on my tender wrists and around my neck, and even on my nipples and inside my thighs, which, thinking about it, felt ridiculously chafed. 

"You are so nice to me," I sighed, trying to sit up to pull on my night gown. It was getting colder now. "Let's go to sleep now."

And so we went to sleep, both of us wrapped so tightly around one another, that even in our spacious sea of a bed, we could have fit into a child's single.


End file.
